Bleak future for chinese male

[homer j]

Wow, I didn't know it was that bad. You always hear about the chinese men there not only have a wife, but they have 2 or 3 girlfriends on the side. Now they won't even have a wife!

 

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6346931.stm

 

Wifeless future for China's men

By James Reynolds

BBC News, Beijing

 

China's future problems are easy to spot. You can see them in the front row of the Hui Kang kindergarten class in the city of Huizhou.

 

Four boys sit next to a girl. Further back, a girl in pigtails and a pink jumper stands out amid a group of boys.

 

In recent years, the kindergarten has been getting more and more boys.

 

Since the late 1970s Chinese couples have been allowed just one child - and most parents here prefer to have a son.

 

"It's having a real effect," said Ms Zheng, the school's head teacher.

 

"One of our classes has 39 boys and just eight girls. It's a serious problem. When there are more boys than girls, the girls copy the boys and they become more aggressive," she said.

 

At break time, the girls need to be pretty good at defending themselves. One girl beats off four boys who try to have a look at what she was drawing.

 

China is worried about what may happen in 20 years or so when these kids grow up and start trying to settle down.

 

An official estimate says that, by 2020, there may be 30 million men of marriageable age who will not be able to find a wife.

 

The gender imbalance has various causes. Abortions on female foetuses are believed to be widespread as couples, particularly in rural areas, hope for a son who will look after them in their old age. There is also suspected under-reporting of female births.

 

'No-one to impress'

 

On China's tropical island of Hainan, you get an idea of the problems the country might face in a bachelor-heavy future.

 

In a small village, made up of shacks and pig pens, there are already too many men, and not enough women.

 

Liu Yaxiao introduces his three brothers - all in their 30s, all unmarried.

 

They sit along the edge of a bed, looking a bit sheepish and forlorn.

 

They were born before the one child policy began - but they still cannot find anyone to marry.

 

All the single women left their village long ago in search of work.

 

At home they have to cook for themselves. That is embarrassing in a country where women are expected to make the food.

 

Liu Yading is one of the brothers. He has a motorbike and leather jacket and does his best to look fairly cool. But there is no one for him to impress.

 

"There are more than a hundred men aged between 18 to 40 who are unmarried in our village," he says.

 

"Nearby villages are all like us. How can we get married? I don't know what to do or where to start finding a wife. I'm stuck - unless God can help me."

 

The brothers eat lunch by themselves.

 

Outside the village shop, men and teenagers hang about.

 

They keep an eye on the main road - in case any eligible women wander by. But the road is empty.

 

In years to come, for the single men of China, things will only get worse.

[chilton747]

They did this to themselves!!!!!!!!!

[david_dawei]

One twist to this thread is in the title; Will the government stop letting foreigners marry?

 

They restricted to one child, one dog.... will they restrict on an ethnic basis

[Randy W]

One reason our women give for going out of the country is that the men aren't interested in divorced women, especially with children.

[warpedbored]

There are only a few thousand marriage based visas issued by GZ every year. In a country of almost 1.3 billion it is hardly a drain on the number of available women. The numbers are too small to even have an impact.

 

Instincts are strong, Chinese men will be forced to rethink their attitudes on marrying divorced women, older women or single parents. Women's status will go up.

[lostinblue]

They will go overseas and marry women from the south of china. Maybe even north korea if the situation changes there in the future, The woman have left to work along the coast and many men are left in the rural areas. Now the women have little desire to return to a rural lifestyle. Think the grapes of wrath chinese style.Today you have the largest human migration in history. In past history when a large male to female population is normal a war is created to even out the ratio,The country has a surge of nationalism and a "reason " is created to go to war.

[rogerluli]

We watched a talk show on Chinese TV yesterday, Tiger Talk, on this topic. They had 2 women on, one who wants to marry a foreigner and one who never would. And a young man who was very against it and even an owner of a service bringing Chinese women and western men together. There seemed to be a tremendous amount of interest in this topic from the audience as well. I asked laopo if there was any discussion of reasons other than money that a Chinese woman might prefer a western husband. She said NO. People seem to think it is only about $$$$$... Well of course the money component IS important... but evidently Chinese TV is NOT ready to open the can of worms talking about problems of how many Chinese men treat their wives...

 

Although we know that the actual numbers of our kind of relationships are small overall it is still very visible to the Chinese and men who cannot find wives especially are NOT happy about it. I think it is almost impossible for the government to try to curtail it however.

[david_dawei]

I think it is almost impossible for the government to try to curtail it however.

maybe like the changed rules for adoption, the foreign cannot be of a a certain temperment

[tonado]

American women should have great opportunity to find men in China.

[warpedbored]

American women should have great opportunity to find men in China.

Well said Tony.

 

I take exception to the notion that Chinese men treat their wives badly. I know many Chinese men that treat their wives very well. On the other hand I have first hand knowledge of several American men that marry Chinese women and then abuse them. I do think there are some cultural differences where American men are more accepting to the idea of marrying divorced single mothers than Chinese men. This I believe will change with the shortage of women.

[NewDay2006]

I think it is almost impossible for the government to try to curtail it however.

maybe like the changed rules for adoption, the foreign cannot be of a a certain temperment

Maybe.... I will say over the years, especially when my 11 year old son was in daycare, i've seen many children adopted by americans.... they are all girls, I can't remember seeing an adopted boy.

 

even though I've experienced the agony and pain of divorce, I could never imagine not ever having found love. This makes you ask the question.... is it better to have love and lost, or to never have loved before ? .... was that Shakespeare? or maybe Elmer J. Fudd, the dude with the mansion and a yacht?

Edited February 26, 2007 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[rogerluli]

American women should have great opportunity to find men in China.

Well said Tony.

 

I take exception to the notion that Chinese men treat their wives badly. I know many Chinese men that treat their wives very well. On the other hand I have first hand knowledge of several American men that marry Chinese women and then abuse them. I do think there are some cultural differences where American men are more accepting to the idea of marrying divorced single mothers than Chinese men. This I believe will change with the shortage of women.

 

Married men having girlfriends is MUCH more common in China than the US. I never would say that all or even most Chinese men treat their wives badly either.

[tonado]

American women should have great opportunity to find men in China.

Well said Tony.

 

I take exception to the notion that Chinese men treat their wives badly. I know many Chinese men that treat their wives very well. On the other hand I have first hand knowledge of several American men that marry Chinese women and then abuse them. I do think there are some cultural differences where American men are more accepting to the idea of marrying divorced single mothers than Chinese men. This I believe will change with the shortage of women.

 

Married men having girlfriends is MUCH more common in China than the US. I never would say that all or even most Chinese men treat their wives badly either.

 

My vision with CFL is that more American women will look for Chinese men in future. Then this forum will have more women.

[warpedbored]

Hey I'm all for it Tony but I don't see it coming to bear. First of all there isn't a shortage of marriageable men in the US yet and secondly American women like women all over the world want to marry a man who is financially secure. Since Chinese incomes are lower than in the US they aren't likely to want to move to China. If the man comes here she would have to be financially responsible for him. Not something most women of any country want to do.

[tonado]

Hey I'm all for it Tony but I don't see it coming to bear. First of all there isn't a shortage of marriageable men in the US yet and secondly American women like women all over the world want to marry a man who is financially secure. Since Chinese incomes are lower than in the US they aren't likely to want to move to China. If the man comes here she would have to be financially responsible for him. Not something most women of any country want to do.

 

Carl,

 

As China becomes a world business leader in future, more Chinese men will have money and status, then things may change. Well, anything is possible.