The good wife...

[Dennis143]

what are the traits of traditional american husband? i was wondering

March,

I think your question would best be answered by an American woman.

 

David answered that a traditional Chinese woman is one who has hundreds if not thousands of years of teachings and traditions passed down to them through generations. An American man only has a couple of hundred years of existence and having come from many different races and cultures it would be difficult to define all encompassing traits, as was done with a traditional Chinese woman.

 

However, there is, I suppose an image of what the traits of American man in the minds of Chinese women. I¡¯ll throw it back to you, March. What are the traits of an American man that appeal to a Chinese woman?

[papa bear]

Interesting topic since I had a conversation about this when in China with the husband of Jen's cousin. Seems he was a bit alarmed about how I was treating Jen as a partner rather than her master and giving her freedoms that are not good in his eyes as a Chinese wife.

 

1, Budgeting for trips to China was too expensive and I should have not allowed Jen to travel to China.

2, I should take more charge of our marriage dictating every part of what Jen does.

3, It is not a good idea to allow Jen to meet and become friends with other Chinese here as it would lead to her not learning English and assimilating into America.

4, Reguardless of expense, I should demand that we have a baby right away as this will change Jen's attitudes about many things.

5, Taking care of me when I am sick or injured should not be looked at as her caring for me out of love but is rather her duty as a wife.

6, Jen should be my subordinate not my partner.

7, We would have a much better chance of making it by starting our own business in China rather than staying in the United States.

 

My response was to agree with him by politley nodding my head rater than arguing about the differences in an American marriage. will Jen and I make any changes? Naw, we seem fine as is.

 

His alarm was probably more because he was afraid his wife would see how well you treated Jen and would start to expect the same from him, which explanes why many Chinese ladies seek a husband outside China.

However he does have a point about the language issue, it is proven that when anyone immigrates the more contact they have with people speaking there native language the harder it is for them to learn the new language but she isn't a child so she still has deep emotional ties to China so she still needs some contact with other Chinese, it gives her a feeling of connection.

 

Anyway to get back on topic, we learn our values mostly from the way we were raised and sometimes in spite of it, I am just lucky to have gotten the best wife in the world she just happens to be Chinese.

[SheLikesME?]

what are the traits of traditional american husband? i was wondering B)

March,

I think your question would best be answered by an American woman.

 

David answered that a traditional Chinese woman is one who has hundreds if not thousands of years of teachings and traditions passed down to them through generations. An American man only has a couple of hundred years of existence and having come from many different races and cultures it would be difficult to define all encompassing traits, as was done with a traditional Chinese woman.

 

However, there is, I suppose an image of what the traits of American man in the minds of Chinese women. I抣l throw it back to you, March. What are the traits of an American man that appeal to a Chinese woman?

Overpaid and oversexed.

 

OOps, that may not be considered a good trait. Oh well..........

Edited November 20, 2006 by SheLikesME (see edit history)

[march]

what are the traits of traditional american husband? i was wondering B)

March,

I think your question would best be answered by an American woman.

 

David answered that a traditional Chinese woman is one who has hundreds if not thousands of years of teachings and traditions passed down to them through generations. An American man only has a couple of hundred years of existence and having come from many different races and cultures it would be difficult to define all encompassing traits, as was done with a traditional Chinese woman.

 

However, there is, I suppose an image of what the traits of American man in the minds of Chinese women. I¡¯ll throw it back to you, March. What are the traits of an American man that appeal to a Chinese woman?

i have never dated a chinese guy so it is hard for me to compare and get the result. i see my husband as a man instead of an AMERICAN man. and as a man, he is handsome, considerate and tolerant. i dont know if these traits go with all the men in the world or american guys, or just my husband

[Feathers268]

Well, we were in Kunshan, a boomtown about 30 miles outside of Shanghai and he grew up in Hangzhou. So not so much out in the sticks for this attitude. As far as his wife, I'd say she is the 2nd most beautiful of the 5 cousins in Jen's family. Jennifer being first of course.

Is the cousin's husband a successful businessman in China? Otherwise he would not have the courage or confidence to tell a foreigner how to tame his wife.

I wouldn't say he's a tycoon and making tons of money but he is quite successful in his own business. But, I don't think it even was the point of having courage to talk to me, an American. You have to understand, when I first went to China, my knowledge of China was little more than what the US State Department posted. So I didn't have a clue what I was going to find at all. He took it upon himself to help me learn about the country and in turn, I would talk with him at length about American culture. We actuall closed a few restauraunts talking. In this time, our relationship grew to the point that we could talk with each other about a great many things and I had told him that my biggest wish would be that someday I could extend the same hospitality he has shown me to him here in America.

That being said, PB I agree with you in part that I think he was afraid of Jen rubbing off on his wife and making her want a little more of an "American" attitude. But even that works both ways. I can recall Jen being mad at me there and when I was "mop slapped" in front of her aunt and cousin, it was followed by the both of them scolding her for her actions. I couldn't understand their Chinese, but, this was one of those times I didn't have to.

[Joanne]

what are the traits of traditional american husband? i was wondering

March,

I think your question would best be answered by an American woman.

 

David answered that a traditional Chinese woman is one who has hundreds if not thousands of years of teachings and traditions passed down to them through generations. An American man only has a couple of hundred years of existence and having come from many different races and cultures it would be difficult to define all encompassing traits, as was done with a traditional Chinese woman.

 

However, there is, I suppose an image of what the traits of American man in the minds of Chinese women. I¡¯ll throw it back to you, March. What are the traits of an American man that appeal to a Chinese woman?

i have never dated a chinese guy so it is hard for me to compare and get the result. i see my husband as a man instead of an AMERICAN man. and as a man, he is handsome, considerate and tolerant. i dont know if these traits go with all the men in the world or american guys, or just my husband

 

Don't worry, March. Even if you have been married to 3 Chinese men and are having the 3rd American husband, you still don't have enough information to make a general conclusion.

[SheLikesME?]

what are the traits of traditional american husband? i was wondering B)

March,

I think your question would best be answered by an American woman.

 

David answered that a traditional Chinese woman is one who has hundreds if not thousands of years of teachings and traditions passed down to them through generations. An American man only has a couple of hundred years of existence and having come from many different races and cultures it would be difficult to define all encompassing traits, as was done with a traditional Chinese woman.

 

However, there is, I suppose an image of what the traits of American man in the minds of Chinese women. I抣l throw it back to you, March. What are the traits of an American man that appeal to a Chinese woman?

i have never dated a chinese guy so it is hard for me to compare and get the result. i see my husband as a man instead of an AMERICAN man. and as a man, he is handsome, considerate and tolerant. i dont know if these traits go with all the men in the world or american guys, or just my husband

 

Don't worry, March. Even if you have been married to 3 Chinese men and are having the 3rd American husband, you still don't have enough information to make a general conclusion.

Big, Tall, & UGGGLY .................

 

 

Except for Joanne's husband. He looks cute. How did that happen? Where find?

Edited November 23, 2006 by SheLikesME (see edit history)