ameriken Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Finally, today was Jie's AOS interview. She passed! For all of you in the process, I thought I would give some details of our process and interview. First, let me break off on a tangent by saying that life with a Chinese woman is everything I hoped it to be! I could not find a better wife for me than Jie. The Chinese/American relationship is perhaps the most rewarding marriage both can find! Each has something the other is looking for and has had difficulty to find. Jie belongs to a website strictly for Chinese nationals who came to marry an American man. The vast majority of these women, maybe 90%, are very happy, speak very highly of their men and marriages. I say this to give other guys confidence that these marriages can and do work. Of course, you have to really know and trust her, treat her with respect...as an equal, not a maid; let her know you care about her needs and concerns and that you will take care of them. Make her part of who you are, make her a part of the home. The ultimate way to show your love and respect, is trust. I am saddened to hear stories about the other 10% of those marriages. Some men can be selfish and controlling. They are suspicious and dont trust her to leave the house on her own; they tell her what she can and cannot do, where she can/cannot go; some become emotionally distant and treat her like a housemaid. Some are physically, mentally and/or verbally abusive; some drink a lot (which most Chinese women do NOT like). And finally, are the money control freaks...guys who dont put her on their bank account or credit card, are distrustful and will not share money with her, refuse to get what she needs or refuse to let her spend money, or hide their finances from her like it is a big secret. If you want to run off your Chinese wife, these are the ways to do it. But the majority of men are very good to their wives. Give her love, trust, freedom and respect, let her make decisions, and trust her with 'your' money, and she will return it all to you in ways you could never imagine....treat her right and she will remain happy, dedicated, hard working and loyal to you beyond death, and nothing will ever break that bond! Ok, enough of my longwinded rambling, We just hope everyone can have the same love and success as we do! That being said, on to AOS. NOA1 for the I-485 and I-765 was June 21. Since I always file my taxes in October, mine werent ready and I had to choose: wait for the taxes and then file, or file without the taxes and get RFE'd. Since the 90 days was up on her K1 visa, she was 'out of status', so I filed without the taxes to keep her legal, waited for the RFE and sure enough, it came. I sent the taxes Sept, and within 2 or 3 weeks we got the interview letter for today, November 7. Meanwhile, the I-765 was approved and Jie got her work card. As for the interview itself, we were at USCIS for under 1 hour, wait time included. The IO (immigration officer) commented about how much we brought (two full bags). We had every document filed since the K1 I-129F. We had original marriage certs, birth certs, application copies, and I mean everything. We also brought photos from my visits to Shanghai before we married, photos of when we married, and photos of us together here in the US. I thought we would interview separately, but did not, we were together. The questions to Jie: (Reviewing the I-485) Can I see both your passports and id's?Do you have an original copy of your marriage certificate, I only have a copy in the file (we gave it to him). What is your home address? When did you arrive in the US?Have you come to America, or left the country any other time before you got the visa or after?When did you get married?What Chapel did you marry in? (We married with the judge in the county building, and explained there was no time to plan a big wedding, but we intend to have a larger ceremony n 2008 in China)Have you ever been arrested for anything?Have you ever committed visa fraud?Have you even helped anyone come here illegally? Where did you marry? (Vegas)What hotel did you stay in? (Binions, near the courthouse)Have you met each others family? (Yes, and briefly explained my trips to China, and our trip to NY to see my parents) As he interviewed, he was thumbing through our 1"+ thick file, looking at my taxes, employment letter, etc, making sure he had all the proper documentation and that it was complete. Finally he asked for the photos. We showed him two full albums.....the one from the K1 interview, and a new one showing our life and experience in America. As he thumbed through, we gave short explanations of some of the photos. He looked at every every single page. Then he said Jie would receive her green card in about 2 weeks. He explained it is a temporary conditional residency, and in 2 years we re-apply to lift the conditions. He said we would have to show evidence of our marriage/relationship, such as joint accounts, joint loans, credit cards, etc. I asked if Jie was supposed to get a stamp in her passport, and he said they dont do that anymore. That was it! A 30 minute wait, and a 20 minute interview! (It took me longer to write this silly novel than it did to to go there today). We are relieved that for two years, we dont have to live, think, and breathe VISA or AOS. With that behind us, we can move on to other more pleasant matters..... I hope this helps anyone in the AOS process, and good luck to you! Link to comment
dnoblett Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Awesome!, I like your writings about how to treat your lady, I feel the same way with my fiance. I hope our AOS interview goes as well as yours. Link to comment
david_dawei Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 ken, great to hear from you.. miss your insightful and pointed posts. great update. Glad to hear another step accomplished. Send Jie all our best from CFL ! Link to comment
ameriken Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Awesome!, I like your writings about how to treat your lady, I feel the same way with my fiance. I hope our AOS interview goes as well as yours. You'll do ok......when a relationship is real, it usually reflects well in the paperwork as well as the evidence. Good luck ! Link to comment
ameriken Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 ken, great to hear from you.. miss your insightful and pointed posts. great update. Glad to hear another step accomplished. Send Jie all our best from CFL !Thanks David, she sends back the greetings to you too! Link to comment
ed and ying Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Great News !!!! - Best Wishes for the future Link to comment
Trigg Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Can you say closure?? I knew you could and ain't it Suweeeeeeeeeeeeet?????? Link to comment
Randy W Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Congrats, and don't be too strange®! Link to comment
tywy_99 Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Great post, Ken! Well versed.I can definitely see that it comes from an extremely happy and contented guy. Congratulations to you both!... Link to comment
LeeFisher3 Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Congratulations!!! The only thing I would say differently than you is to forget about his and her money, it's all Family Money or our money. It's the attitude about whose money it is that gets more people into trouble especially when one partner is not able to contribute as much as the other. Link to comment
Guest Paul Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Hello Ken and Jie - Gollee, what a great post. Thank you for taking the time to write. As you are well aware there are many not-so-happy stories of these Chinese/American relationships, and quite frankly, it was starting to bother me. But now, your refreshing post has restored my thought process. I'm happy things went well for you, congratulations! Again, what a great post. Wheel Man Finally, today was Jie's AOS interview. She passed! For all of you in the process, I thought I would give some details of our process and interview. First, let me break off on a tangent by saying that life with a Chinese woman is everything I hoped it to be! I could not find a better wife for me than Jie. The Chinese/American relationship is perhaps the most rewarding marriage both can find! Each has something the other is looking for and has had difficulty to find. Jie belongs to a website strictly for Chinese nationals who came to marry an American man. The vast majority of these women, maybe 90%, are very happy, speak very highly of their men and marriages. I say this to give other guys confidence that these marriages can and do work. Of course, you have to really know and trust her, treat her with respect...as an equal, not a maid; let her know you care about her needs and concerns and that you will take care of them. Make her part of who you are, make her a part of the home. The ultimate way to show your love and respect, is trust. I am saddened to hear stories about the other 10% of those marriages. Some men can be selfish and controlling. They are suspicious and dont trust her to leave the house on her own; they tell her what she can and cannot do, where she can/cannot go; some become emotionally distant and treat her like a housemaid. Some are physically, mentally and/or verbally abusive; some drink a lot (which most Chinese women do NOT like). And finally, are the money control freaks...guys who dont put her on their bank account or credit card, are distrustful and will not share money with her, refuse to get what she needs or refuse to let her spend money, or hide their finances from her like it is a big secret. If you want to run off your Chinese wife, these are the ways to do it. But the majority of men are very good to their wives. Give her love, trust, freedom and respect, let her make decisions, and trust her with 'your' money, and she will return it all to you in ways you could never imagine....treat her right and she will remain happy, dedicated, hard working and loyal to you beyond death, and nothing will ever break that bond! Ok, enough of my longwinded rambling, We just hope everyone can have the same love and success as we do! That being said, on to AOS. NOA1 for the I-485 and I-765 was June 21. Since I always file my taxes in October, mine werent ready and I had to choose: wait for the taxes and then file, or file without the taxes and get RFE'd. Since the 90 days was up on her K1 visa, she was 'out of status', so I filed without the taxes to keep her legal, waited for the RFE and sure enough, it came. I sent the taxes Sept, and within 2 or 3 weeks we got the interview letter for today, November 7. Meanwhile, the I-765 was approved and Jie got her work card. As for the interview itself, we were at USCIS for under 1 hour, wait time included. The IO (immigration officer) commented about how much we brought (two full bags). We had every document filed since the K1 I-129F. We had original marriage certs, birth certs, application copies, and I mean everything. We also brought photos from my visits to Shanghai before we married, photos of when we married, and photos of us together here in the US. I thought we would interview separately, but did not, we were together. The questions to Jie: (Reviewing the I-485) Can I see both your passports and id's?Do you have an original copy of your marriage certificate, I only have a copy in the file (we gave it to him). What is your home address? When did you arrive in the US?Have you come to America, or left the country any other time before you got the visa or after?When did you get married?What Chapel did you marry in? (We married with the judge in the county building, and explained there was no time to plan a big wedding, but we intend to have a larger ceremony n 2008 in China)Have you ever been arrested for anything?Have you ever committed visa fraud?Have you even helped anyone come here illegally? Where did you marry? (Vegas)What hotel did you stay in? (Binions, near the courthouse)Have you met each others family? (Yes, and briefly explained my trips to China, and our trip to NY to see my parents) As he interviewed, he was thumbing through our 1"+ thick file, looking at my taxes, employment letter, etc, making sure he had all the proper documentation and that it was complete. Finally he asked for the photos. We showed him two full albums.....the one from the K1 interview, and a new one showing our life and experience in America. As he thumbed through, we gave short explanations of some of the photos. He looked at every every single page. Then he said Jie would receive her green card in about 2 weeks. He explained it is a temporary conditional residency, and in 2 years we re-apply to lift the conditions. He said we would have to show evidence of our marriage/relationship, such as joint accounts, joint loans, credit cards, etc. I asked if Jie was supposed to get a stamp in her passport, and he said they dont do that anymore. That was it! A 30 minute wait, and a 20 minute interview! (It took me longer to write this silly novel than it did to to go there today). We are relieved that for two years, we dont have to live, think, and breathe VISA or AOS. With that behind us, we can move on to other more pleasant matters..... I hope this helps anyone in the AOS process, and good luck to you! Link to comment
ameriken Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Congratulations!!! The only thing I would say differently than you is to forget about his and her money, it's all Family Money or our money. It's the attitude about whose money it is that gets more people into trouble especially when one partner is not able to contribute as much as the other. Thanks Lee! Actually, following my comments in my original post about selfishness about money, I wrote and trust her with 'your' money and put the quotes on 'your' as a hint of sarcasm. We do the same over here, it's 'our' money, she has access to the bank accounts, credits cards, etc. I made that statement because when our ladies first come here, they have no job, money or income, and the husbands income should become her income too, and both should have equal access to it. 'Our' is definitely the operative word. How a person acts with money tells a lot about his/her heart. Link to comment
jim_julian Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Congratulations to both of you! Link to comment
SheLikesME? Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 KEN, GOOD TO SEE YOUR POST. I 2 have missed them so much. I am happy for the 2 of you. As always, love your relations part of your post. Doug Link to comment
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