Is putting your foot down like stepping on a mine?

[SheLikesME?]

I laughed while driving around the country this week when I thought about putting my foot down on a subject with my wife, and then my leg blows up from a land mine.

Then I think about Trigg and a few of you guys who have been here awhile,. and have had your SO here for some time, talking about the TRAINING and the MOP-SLAPPING.

 

Thought I would post this subject and actually Roger has done it in the TC but it seems sidetracked.

 

If not too personal or anything I would like to hear stories of any demands you have placed on your SO.

[Guest pushbrk]

I laughed while driving around the country this week when I thought about putting my foot down on a subject with my wife, and then my leg blows up from a land mine.

  Then I think about Trigg and a few of you guys who have been here awhile,. and have had your SO here for some time, talking about the TRAINING and the MOP-SLAPPING.

 

Thought I would post this subject and actually Roger has done it in the TC but it seems sidetracked.

 

If not too personal or anything I would like to hear stories of any demands you have placed on your SO.

231858[/snapback]

Pretty much, yes, and like yours, my wife isn't here yet.

[Dennis143]

This is a good subject that deserves to be answered honestly and put kidding aside for a while. Of course, you are simply giving me a platform whereupon I can sing the praises of me wife.

 

I doubt that Leiqin fits the norm, but here goes. My wife dotes after me. My role is her provider. Her role is my comforter. It does not mean that she does not provide and I do not comfort. It just means that these are the unspoken roles that we have fallen into. I provide her with a comfortable home and life and she takes care of it by cleaning, cooking, gardening, ironing, and .

 

Because she does not read nor write English, does not speak it well, is computer illiterate, and does not have a car to drive, she is pretty much dependent on me for everything. So, I am her provider and you can understand who makes the major decisions in our life. I do. And, I must. And, she trusts my decisions completely, "You likea, I likea. You my husband. I follow you. I listen you."

 

In the past, I have always had relationships where the women were totally independent. Now, I am in a marriage where my wife depends on me for everything. My wife NEVER complains, nags nor argues. My wife is always thinking of my welfare: "You hungrya. I cooka givea you something to eat." or "You go play computer." My wife seldom turns down sex and is often the one who initiates it. "I all yours. I givea all to you. Anytime you want, I open for you." My wife NEVER asks for money for herself, yet I am sure to always give her money so that she has some cash in her wallet too. My wife is ALWAYS thinking of my best interest. Heck, my wife still insists on giving me nightly baths. "You tireda. I givea you shower now. You go to bed, I givea you messagey." And she is always telling me: "I thanka you, my husband. I lucky! I very very lucky!"

 

Anyway, what was the question? Uh, aren't all Chinese women like this?

Edited July 18, 2006 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[skibum]

People are people no matter where they come from. Some are reasonable and some are not. I would hope that everyone marries a reasonable person who will listen and make a reasonable decision. Of course, you need to be the same.

[se_lang]

ya put foot down and she will put hers up, and you know up where!

[SheLikesME?]

This is a good subject that deserves to be answered honestly and put kidding aside for a while.  Of course, you are simply giving me a platform whereupon I can sing the praises of me wife. 

 

I doubt that Leiqin fits the norm, but here goes.  My wife dotes after me.  My role is her provider.  Her role is my comforter.  It does not mean that she does not provide and I do not comfort.  It just means that these are the unspoken roles that we have fallen into.  I provide her with a comfortable home and life and she takes care of it by cleaning, cooking, gardening, ironing, and  .

 

Because she does not read nor write English, does not speak it well, is computer illiterate, and does not have a car to drive, she is pretty much dependent on me for everything.  So, I am her provider and you can understand who makes the major decisions in our life.  I do.  And, I must.  And, she trusts my decisions completely, "You likea, I likea.  You my husband.  I follow you. I listen you."

 

In the past, I have always had relationships where the women were totally independent.  Now, I am in a marriage where my wife depends on me for everything.  My wife NEVER complains, nags nor argues.  My wife is always thinking of my welfare: "You hungrya.  I cooka givea you something to eat." or "You go play computer." My wife seldom turns down sex and is often the one who initiates it. "I all yours.  I givea all to you.  Anytime you want, I open for you." My wife NEVER asks for money for herself, yet I am sure to always give her money so that she has some cash in her wallet too.  My wife is ALWAYS thinking of my best interest.  Heck, my wife still insists on giving me nightly baths.  "You tireda.  I givea you shower now.  You go to bed, I givea you messagey." And she is always telling me: "I thanka you, my husband.  I lucky!  I very very lucky!"

 

Anyway, what was the question?  Uh, aren't all Chinese women like this?

231877[/snapback]

I'm FREAKing CRAZY. This is drivnig me nuts. Where is that airline phone number. I don't care if my foot blows off.

[NewDay2006]

This is a good subject that deserves to be answered honestly and put kidding aside for a while.  Of course, you are simply giving me a platform whereupon I can sing the praises of me wife. 

 

I doubt that Leiqin fits the norm, but here goes.  My wife dotes after me.  My role is her provider.  Her role is my comforter.  It does not mean that she does not provide and I do not comfort.  It just means that these are the unspoken roles that we have fallen into.  I provide her with a comfortable home and life and she takes care of it by cleaning, cooking, gardening, ironing, and  .

 

Because she does not read nor write English, does not speak it well, is computer illiterate, and does not have a car to drive, she is pretty much dependent on me for everything.  So, I am her provider and you can understand who makes the major decisions in our life.  I do.  And, I must.  And, she trusts my decisions completely, "You likea, I likea.  You my husband.  I follow you. I listen you."

 

In the past, I have always had relationships where the women were totally independent.  Now, I am in a marriage where my wife depends on me for everything.  My wife NEVER complains, nags nor argues.  My wife is always thinking of my welfare: "You hungrya.  I cooka givea you something to eat." or "You go play computer." My wife seldom turns down sex and is often the one who initiates it. "I all yours.  I givea all to you.  Anytime you want, I open for you." My wife NEVER asks for money for herself, yet I am sure to always give her money so that she has some cash in her wallet too.  My wife is ALWAYS thinking of my best interest.  Heck, my wife still insists on giving me nightly baths.  "You tireda.  I givea you shower now.  You go to bed, I givea you messagey." And she is always telling me: "I thanka you, my husband.  I lucky!  I very very lucky!"

 

Anyway, what was the question?  Uh, aren't all Chinese women like this?

231877[/snapback]

Nooooo Dennis, all chinese women are not like that. My ex wanted me to iron her clothes and she wouldn't cook.

 

I really like doing things for my woman, but that woman was something else.... My current, well she is something else, I'll be glad when she gets here. she says, I'm her boss, but I tell her I don't want to be her boss, but she insists i am... I just want to be a good husband for her.

 

When I was in Beihai, I soon realized I only needed to bring 3 outfits and 3 pairs of underwear instead of the 2 large bags I brought. My wife washed my clothes everyday and would iron them for me.

 

I don't get the nightly baths yet Dennis , but who knows what the future will bring. I want to make her happy and secure and I think she wants the same for me.

[Kaige]

Make sure you get the nightly baths as the wife won't let you in bed, unless you are clean, remember cleanliness is next to godliness, also this I think is based on chinese culture, so bathe

[Guest pushbrk]

This is a good subject that deserves to be answered honestly and put kidding aside for a while.  Of course, you are simply giving me a platform whereupon I can sing the praises of me wife.

 

I doubt that Leiqin fits the norm, but here goes.  My wife dotes after me.  My role is her provider.  Her role is my comforter.  It does not mean that she does not provide and I do not comfort.  It just means that these are the unspoken roles that we have fallen into.  I provide her with a comfortable home and life and she takes care of it by cleaning, cooking, gardening, ironing, and  .

 

Because she does not read nor write English, does not speak it well, is computer illiterate, and does not have a car to drive, she is pretty much dependent on me for everything.  So, I am her provider and you can understand who makes the major decisions in our life.  I do.  And, I must.  And, she trusts my decisions completely, “You likea, I likea.  You my husband.  I follow you. I listen you.â€?

In the past, I have always had relationships where the women were totally independent.  Now, I am in a marriage where my wife depends on me for everything.  My wife NEVER complains, nags nor argues.  My wife is always thinking of my welfare: “You hungrya.  I cooka givea you something to eat.â€?or “You go play computer.â€? My wife seldom turns down sex and is often the one who initiates it. “I all yours.  I givea all to you.  Anytime you want, I open for you.â€? My wife NEVER asks for money for herself, yet I be sure to give her money so that she has some cash in her wallet too.  My wife is ALWAYS thinking of my best interest.  Heck, my wife still insists on giving me nightly baths.  “You tireda.  I givea you shower now.  You go to bed, I givea you messagey.â€? And she is always telling me: “Thank you, my husband.  I lucky!  I very very lucky!â€?

Anyway, what was the question?  Uh, aren’t all Chinese women like this?

231877[/snapback]

That's fantastic, Dennis and I'm very happy for you. The thread, of course is about "putting your foot down". That really only happens when two have reached opinions, or positions that do not agree and one decides they are going to assert themselves to influence the decision their way.

 

I think most of us will find that "putting our foot down" will resemble stepping on a land mine.

[Dennis143]

Dennis, you are the exception rather than the rule. Please be careful not to set that expectation in anyone's mind.

231901[/snapback]

Yes, I figured that out a long time ago, but just kept it to myself until now.

[SheLikesME?]

Dennis, you are the exception rather than the rule. Please be careful not to set that expectation in anyone's mind.

231901[/snapback]

Yes, I figured that out a long time ago, but just kept it to myself until now.

231910[/snapback]

Well now that we are sharing secrets. After my first divorce I met a lady at church that would have been just about like this. Not Chinese but Mexican. She was all American and spoke english but man I regretted I let that one go. Your a blessed man Dennis but a smart one too.

 

Now I'm off topic. But then..........

[Dennis143]

This is a good subject that deserves to be answered honestly and put kidding aside for a while.  Of course, you are simply giving me a platform whereupon I can sing the praises of me wife.

 

I doubt that Leiqin fits the norm, but here goes.  My wife dotes after me.  My role is her provider.  Her role is my comforter.  It does not mean that she does not provide and I do not comfort.  It just means that these are the unspoken roles that we have fallen into.  I provide her with a comfortable home and life and she takes care of it by cleaning, cooking, gardening, ironing, and  .

 

Because she does not read nor write English, does not speak it well, is computer illiterate, and does not have a car to drive, she is pretty much dependent on me for everything.  So, I am her provider and you can understand who makes the major decisions in our life.  I do.  And, I must.  And, she trusts my decisions completely, ?œYou likea, I likea.  You my husband.  I follow you. I listen you.??

In the past, I have always had relationships where the women were totally independent.  Now, I am in a marriage where my wife depends on me for everything.  My wife NEVER complains, nags nor argues.  My wife is always thinking of my welfare: ?œYou hungrya.  I cooka givea you something to eat.??or ?œYou go play computer.?? My wife seldom turns down sex and is often the one who initiates it. ?œI all yours.  I givea all to you.  Anytime you want, I open for you.?? My wife NEVER asks for money for herself, yet I be sure to give her money so that she has some cash in her wallet too.  My wife is ALWAYS thinking of my best interest.  Heck, my wife still insists on giving me nightly baths.  ?œYou tireda.  I givea you shower now.  You go to bed, I givea you messagey.?? And she is always telling me: ?œThank you, my husband.  I lucky!  I very very lucky!??

Anyway, what was the question?  Uh, aren?™t all Chinese women like this?

231877[/snapback]

That's fantastic, Dennis and I'm very happy for you. The thread, of course is about "putting your foot down". That really only happens when two have reached opinions, or positions that do not agree and one decides they are going to assert themselves to influence the decision their way.

 

I think most of us will find that "putting our foot down" will resemble stepping on a land mine.

231909[/snapback]

Well, I understand perfectly. And, I understand that my marriage may be the exception; however, I am puzzled and perplexed too. This question reminds me of why I decided to change course and marry a non-American woman. Past marriages required having to 'put my foot down' and I didn't enjoy it.

 

I find that the mere question of having to put ones foot down means that somehow the two people are out of balance. Somehow, something is being lost in communication. The needs and the desires of one person are not being met; therefore, the need to put one's foot down arrises.

 

Sure, Leiqin and I may be the exception. However, it wasn't a post to gloat, but to show that having to put my foot down has never been a desire nor a necessity. We live in harmony and are always asking each other what we can do to please and comfort each other. I don't know, but to me that's what I sought in marrying a Chinese woman. And, happily that's what I got. Not, blasting anyone else's marriage, but I really believe that's what most men here also seek.

[Guest pushbrk]

This is a good subject that deserves to be answered honestly and put kidding aside for a while.  Of course, you are simply giving me a platform whereupon I can sing the praises of me wife.

 

I doubt that Leiqin fits the norm, but here goes.  My wife dotes after me.  My role is her provider.  Her role is my comforter.  It does not mean that she does not provide and I do not comfort.  It just means that these are the unspoken roles that we have fallen into.  I provide her with a comfortable home and life and she takes care of it by cleaning, cooking, gardening, ironing, and  .

 

Because she does not read nor write English, does not speak it well, is computer illiterate, and does not have a car to drive, she is pretty much dependent on me for everything.  So, I am her provider and you can understand who makes the major decisions in our life.  I do.  And, I must.  And, she trusts my decisions completely, ?œYou likea, I likea.  You my husband.  I follow you. I listen you.??

In the past, I have always had relationships where the women were totally independent.  Now, I am in a marriage where my wife depends on me for everything.  My wife NEVER complains, nags nor argues.  My wife is always thinking of my welfare: ?œYou hungrya.  I cooka givea you something to eat.??or ?œYou go play computer.?? My wife seldom turns down sex and is often the one who initiates it. ?œI all yours.  I givea all to you.  Anytime you want, I open for you.?? My wife NEVER asks for money for herself, yet I be sure to give her money so that she has some cash in her wallet too.  My wife is ALWAYS thinking of my best interest.  Heck, my wife still insists on giving me nightly baths.  ?œYou tireda.  I givea you shower now.  You go to bed, I givea you messagey.?? And she is always telling me: ?œThank you, my husband.  I lucky!  I very very lucky!??

Anyway, what was the question?  Uh, aren?™t all Chinese women like this?

231877[/snapback]

That's fantastic, Dennis and I'm very happy for you. The thread, of course is about "putting your foot down". That really only happens when two have reached opinions, or positions that do not agree and one decides they are going to assert themselves to influence the decision their way.

 

I think most of us will find that "putting our foot down" will resemble stepping on a land mine.

231909[/snapback]

Well, I understand perfectly. And, I understand that my marriage may be the exception; however, I am puzzled and perplexed too. This question reminds me of why I decided to change course and marry a non-American woman. Past marriages required having to 'put my foot down' and I didn't enjoy it.

 

I find that the mere question of having to put ones foot down means that somehow the two people are out of balance. Somehow, something is being lost in communication. The needs and the desires of one person are not being met; therefore, the need to put one's foot down arrises.

 

Sure, Leiqin and I may be the exception. However, it wasn't a post to gloat, but to show that having to put my foot down has never been a desire nor a necessity. We live in harmony and are always asking each other what we can do to please and comfort each other. I don't know, but to me that's what I sought in marrying a Chinese woman. And, happily that's what I got. Not, blasting anyone else's marriage, but I really believe that's what most men here also seek.

231912[/snapback]

I'm not at all sure yours is all that exceptional in this regard. As I recall you decided not to put your foot down about a couple things. There's not need to find out now what would have happened if you'd tried.

 

Might as well pat yourself on the back too. It takes two to live in harmony.

Edited July 19, 2006 by pushbrk (see edit history)

[SheLikesME?]

You've got the right idea there Dennis and Mike.

 

What was on my mind was Trigg, and some others always posting about getting the mop-slap and how us mewbies will go into training once our wife arrives. This came up with mercator recently. (He must be having fun, less posting is a good sign.)

 

So I guess I overstated this and just simply wonder what TRAINING do we give our SO when they arrive. And are there diferences that we must work out? What are they?

[SheLikesME?]

Maybe this is where this subject should be taken up and shut this thread down.

 

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=19335

Edited July 19, 2006 by SheLikesME (see edit history)