What if your SO doesn't speak English?

[david_dawei]

I meet my SO (now here) on chnlove as well... and my first visit was in late Sept too.

 

She spoke no english at all. We arranged for someone (who knew limited english) to be with us the first 7 days of our 12 days together... by the 10th day, we got engaged without being able to speak a word to each other... we were in a store, wandered into the jewelry section and both looked at each other and knew...

 

Looking back, i would say in order:

1) learn a few basic phrases and words, don't worry about grammar

2) Get a friend to accompany as she can

3) pocket translator that you both will work

4) Computer for translating

 

most important, follow her lead and don't question her; stay away from idioms and slangs and you'll do good !

[Stone]

She spoke no english at all. We arranged for someone (who knew limited english) to be with us the first 7 days of our 12 days together... by the 10th day, we got engaged without being able to speak a word to each other...  we were in a store, wandered into the jewelry section and both looked at each other and knew...

 

Pretty romantic.

[yuan fen]

"Interpretation" when learning a new language, or even attempting to teach a new language, I believe, should be taken serious.

 

I feel "Misinterpretation" should also take some reasonable thought.

 

Would this also revert back to cultures?

 

Things I always try to remember.

 

Offensive to who? Always think about what is said.

 

If you tell your best friend they're a "Pin Head," your still buddies in most cases. In another culture this could be insulting.

 

Even body language could fall within these lines.

 

Touching a person? Who knows.

 

With Jie and I, we also talk with our hands when together in conversation.

 

Hey, there's a thought.

 

Proof of; the two communicating in sign language .........

 

That's what "Rights" can do for ya.....mmmm, right?

 

Just keep practicing, slowly, practicing....

 

Then there is no other way to do it. Just go there, and jump in the water. If you can't swim, try harder.

 

I also find that writing to my Degreed Colleagues in Shang hai, writing in this form helps tremendously. Line by line.

[Yuanyang]

It'll be awhile. She can study and practice. Her English will progress well and she'll be ready for the interview.

[dstarsboy]

This is all excellent advice. I'm glad you guys come here often, even the ones that already have their wives living with them and still come onto these forums to help out the lost causes like me. I've taken notes on everything you all mentioned, but I had another question along the same topic.

 

For the ones of you who's SO did not speak any English.. at what point in the relationship did you feel it was right to start regular phone communication? Before or after you first met? and how the heck did you do it? From what I can imagine, it would take quite a long time to say sentences to one another while trying to look up translations and I assume that it gets pretty expensive and probably even more frustrating than in person.

[Randy W]

Go with chat windows. Each can type in their own language, and the other translate. Anything not understood can be re-phrased.

 

With the chat windows and doing our own translation, we were able to say much more than we ever could with a human translator in the way.

 

For phone calls, it took us 2 or 3 just to figure out how to agree when to hang-up. After maybe 4 or 5 more, we could work through an entire conversation, but it was always the same one.

[dstarsboy]

Go with chat windows. Each can type in their own language, and the other translate. Anything not understood can be re-phrased.

 

With the chat windows and doing our own translation, we were able to say much more than we ever could with a human translator in the way.

 

For phone calls, it took us 2 or 3 just to figure out how to agree when to hang-up. After maybe 4 or 5 more, we could work through an entire conversation, but it was always the same one.

187585[/snapback]

Groovy idea! But she does not own a computer, though. Maybe something I can help her with once I visit, though.

 

Haha, That made me laugh, about working through the same conversation. Still, I can see that it's better than nothing. Guess its just a slow process and with patience, all will go well.

Edited February 3, 2006 by dstarsboy (see edit history)

[yuan fen]

Jie does'nt have a computer either.

 

 

So I had no choice, but to call.

[mercator]

I left a laptop with my wife my last trip, but she doesn't use it much. She'll get some PC training from me when she gets here. As a result, she goes to a service and they do her email (maybe 6-10 a month), while we talk on the phone 1-4 hours a day, at least 5 days a week.

 

Though I must admit going through withdrawals from her being at her family home on vacation for the New Year. I called her a little while ago but she was still asleep. Apparently the ladies of the family were up until all hours of the night talking each others' ears off, again. She is getting so hoarse from all that talking I *almost* feel bad taking my turn talking to her

[IluvmyLi]

I sent my SO $300 last year for a computer. She got a decent desktop model. Well I thought it was decent until I had to dish out another $100 when her monitor started smoking on it's own.

Edited February 3, 2006 by IluvmyLi (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

For the ones of you who's SO did not speak any English.. at what point in the relationship did you feel it was right to start regular phone communication? Before or after you first met? and how the heck did you do it? From what I can imagine, it would take quite a long time to say sentences to one another while trying to look up translations and I assume that it gets pretty expensive and probably even more frustrating than in person.

187582[/snapback]

You want to consider the social awkwardness she might feel and therefore any embarrassment she might feel at fielding a call in public that she cannot really communicate in. If this bothers her to do this, than you don't want to do it till she feels comfortable. Ask her if she would want to talk in public...

 

A computer is definitely the way to start... and if you get skype on both sides, you can IM and talk free as well...

 

Once we progressed out of email ping pong, we would use IM and translate each others message on the fly... sometimes attaching the translation for each other ; I found that the chinese websites translate chinese to english quite a bit better than any US based one.. but I cannot access the chinese one while in the US.

 

it's very probable you'll encourage a mistranslation and misunderstanding as well... Think twice and ask questions if something does not seem as you expect in a reply...

 

My SO also got a decent used computer for about $150... so they are resourceful to find a deal...

[egolessvegan]

For the ones of you who's SO did not speak any English.. at what point in the relationship did you feel it was right to start regular phone communication? Before or after you first met? and how the heck did you do it? From what I can imagine, it would take quite a long time to say sentences to one another while trying to look up translations and I assume that it gets pretty expensive and probably even more frustrating than in person.

187582[/snapback]

You want to consider the social awkwardness she might feel and therefore any embarrassment she might feel at fielding a call in public that she cannot really communicate in. If this bothers her to do this, than you don't want to do it till she feels comfortable. Ask her if she would want to talk in public...

 

A computer is definitely the way to start... and if you get skype on both sides, you can IM and talk free as well...

 

Once we progressed out of email ping pong, we would use IM and translate each others message on the fly... sometimes attaching the translation for each other ; I found that the chinese websites translate chinese to english quite a bit better than any US based one.. but I cannot access the chinese one while in the US.

 

it's very probable you'll encourage a mistranslation and misunderstanding as well... Think twice and ask questions if something does not seem as you expect in a reply...

 

My SO also got a decent used computer for about $150... so they are resourceful to find a deal...

187614[/snapback]

There are many ways to communicate. Just let your instincts take over.

First time I went to China for 26 days, neither my wife or I were able to speak eachothers language. We shared the same space 24 hours a day and rarely did we have any problems understanding one another. It was perhaps the most amazing experience of my life all things being considered.

Ken

[jim_julian]

First of all, I travel to Chongqing all the time ... you won't have any trouble with PEK or CKG airports.

 

Now the bad news ... very few people (try zero) in Chongqing, outside maybe her family, will speak English with you.

 

The second level of bad news ... no one (except maybe your new friend) will take the time to understand your Chinese.

 

The only reasonable solution is for her to study English in night school. You can help her by trying to speak to her on the "phone" ... phone being hopefully an Internet connection like Skype or a cheap phone card.

 

Be prepared for the Chongqing climate ... the damp cold is hellish in the winter (I'm in Chongqing now) and the heat and humidity in the summer is often unbearable ... ohh, and did I mention pollution?

 

That said ... Chongqing women are very beautiful and the food is great.

 

Good luck!

[dstarsboy]

Can anyone suggest a good audio translation software for the desktop computer? I'm thinking of something I can type an English sentence into and push a button and it speaks the sentence in Mandarin, then I can just try to repeat this over the phone. Is there software like that, hopefully that works fairly well?

[warpedbored]

Not everyone can afford a pocket translator as nice as Mike suggested. Aim high though has some affordable ones that worked very well for me on my first visit to China.

http://dictionary.aimhi.com/electronic/cpChinese.html

 

Bing took English in middle school but had forgotten most of it before we met. When I got there her English was almost non existent. We both had pocket translators though. The first day I was there we had the services of a friend of hers that spoke English. After that we decided we could pretty much make do on our own. It is really amazing how much of communication is not verbal.