Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?

[warpedbored]

An old topic with a new twist in that you asked point blank why didn't we marry an american girl.   I had a woman in my store recently who asked me the same thing only she said "couldn't you find an american girl?" as if I am such a loser that I had to import some sub-standard foreign female because no american woman would have me.  Pissed me off royally but since she was a customer I couldn't tell her off and kick her ass out. 

 

To answer your question I married a Chinese woman for many reasons.  First of all I am more attracted to asian women than caucasian women.  My ex wife is Japanese.  When we divorced I dated several local caucasian women but found them not as interesting.  I missed the intercultural exchange.  One day I got some spam in my inbox from AFF.  For kicks and giggles I filled out a profile and forgot about it.  Soon I was deluged with emails from Chinese women.  Most of them didn't seem sincere.  Glamour shots with emails that seemed as if they were casting a net and fishing.  Then one day I got one from Bing.  It was different.  The photo was a home photo and  the woman in the photo had obvious inteligence in her eyes.  The letter was honest and sincere.  We started writing back and forth and 2 1/2 years later we were married.  My wife's english isn't stellar but she speaks well enough that we have no trouble communicatiing.   Now after 15 months of marriage I can tell you it was the best decision of my life.   My wife is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I couldn't be happier.

148949[/snapback]

Carl, I lived in Eugene, Oregon for 9-1/2 weeks three years ago. Too many white people for my taste. It rained to much and everyone drove the speed limit. Had to get back to El Lay.

 

Do you encounter much racism in Oregon?

149077[/snapback]

Portland is a pretty liberal city and has more than the national average number of asians. I have encountered very little racism towards my wife here. Oddly enough I have encountered more negativity from caucasion women than men. As if they resent foreign women taking up available men. I remember one woman I dated before I met Bing telling me when she found out my ex was Japanese, "i'm sorry I am not small and petite like asian women" very sarcastically.

[Dennis143]

and, you should have answered "No, you sure aren't!"

[ed and ying]

Fate - met someone by chance. We fit each other, really that simple. There was no plan or searching involved.

[Mick]

We live in a very small, I mean very small, town in the south. Still, we have experienced no racism on the part of the residents here. Just about everyone in town knows everyone else. She has been accepted with open arms by all concerned. Including Li, there are three and a half Chinese residents here. I say that because Salina, our daughter, is half-Chinese.

[shimaore]

My first answer would be why not marrying outside of my culture , I personally think marrying in my culture will provide me with a level of comfort but I prefer the experience of being challenged on a daily basis . I would personally not marry anyone I can not communicate with therefore basically we need to have a minimum level of understanding in a choosen language ( english /spanish or french personally ) or for my fiancee ( english or mandarin ) .

I could meet thousands of women in London but I am not sure we would have a cultural compatibility ( I am an ethnic malagasy whatever it means ) and I will always remember my first english girlfriend , we were studying together at Uni when i arrived in the UK ( 1999 ) and suddenly out of the blue she just told me : I do not fit her circle of friends ( mainly white europeans ) and social background ( she was pretty wealthy and me just a poor son of immigrants ) . Since then I have an apprehension when meeting up people of the same background . Otherwise i got on pretty well with some nigerian and indian girls but well they tend to marry within their own ethny and since there 's not many malagasy in London I decided to give it a try to the internet : why I fell in love to a chinese woman because of the way she treated me and how we communicated I never experienced this anywhere else ( I guess she 's a special one , her being a chinese is just a part of her - I do not minimise this part but it 's absolutely unimportant to me ) ....

 

[Dennis143]

My first answer would be why not marrying outside of my culture , I personally think marrying in my culture will provide me with a level of comfort but I prefer the experience of being challenged on a daily basis . I would personally not marry anyone I can not communicate with therefore basically we need to have a minimum level of understanding in a choosen language ( english /spanish or french personally ) or for my fiancee ( english or mandarin ) .

I could meet thousands of women in London but I am not sure we would have a cultural compatibility ( I am an ethnic malagasy whatever it means ) and I will always remember my first english girlfriend , we were studying together at Uni when i arrived in the UK ( 1999 ) and suddenly out of the blue she just told me : I do not fit her circle of friends ( mainly white europeans ) and social background ( she was pretty wealthy and me just a poor son of immigrants ) . Since then I have an apprehension when meeting up people of the same background . Otherwise i got on pretty well with some nigerian and indian girls but well they tend to marry within their own ethny and since there 's not many malagasy in London I decided to give it a try to the internet : why I fell in love to a chinese woman because of the way she treated me and how we communicated I never experienced this anywhere else ( I guess she 's a special one , her being a chinese is just a part of her - I do not minimise this part but it 's absolutely unimportant to me ) ....

 

150907[/snapback]

You are a beautiful man with a beautiful story. I wish you and your new Asian woman a lifetime of love and happiness.

Dennis

[chrisnhong]

The news of the week here has been of the resignation of the state opposition leader. He got himself nicely drunk at a party a few weeks ago, called the chinese malaysian wife of the outgoing state premier a 'mail order bride'. He might have gotten away with it if he hadn't gone on to fondle a female reporter on the arse, then preposition another. And he still might have gotten away with it if he hadn't tried to deny all....

[chrisnhong]

Perhaps not. This one attempted suicide last night.

[shimaore]

My first answer would be why not marrying outside of my culture , I personally think marrying in my culture will provide me with a level of comfort but I prefer the experience of being challenged on a daily basis . I would personally not marry anyone I can not communicate with therefore basically we need to have a minimum level of understanding in a choosen language ( english /spanish or french personally ) or for my fiancee ( english or mandarin ) .

I could meet thousands of women in London but I am not sure we would have a cultural compatibility ( I am an ethnic malagasy whatever it means ) and I will always remember my first english girlfriend , we were studying together at Uni when i arrived in the UK ( 1999 ) and suddenly out of the blue she just told me : I do not fit her circle of friends ( mainly white europeans ) and social background ( she was pretty wealthy and me just a poor son of immigrants ) . Since then I have an apprehension when meeting up people of the same background . Otherwise i got on pretty well with some nigerian and indian girls but well they tend to marry within their own ethny and since there 's not many malagasy in London I decided to give it a try to the internet : why I fell in love to a chinese woman because of the way she treated me and how we communicated I never experienced this anywhere else ( I guess she 's a special one , her being a chinese is just a part of her - I do not minimise this part but it 's absolutely unimportant to me ) ....

 

150907[/snapback]

You are a beautiful man with a beautiful story. I wish you and your new Asian woman a lifetime of love and happiness.

Dennis

151047[/snapback]

thanks Dennis - no idea if I will have a constant smile with my special one but for sure we will work hard on it ( oups I meant she will make me work hard on it _ hehehe )

[Tom]

"couldn't you find an american girl?"

148949[/snapback]

I've had the same question a couple of times, but instead of getting upset, I kind of laughed and thought to myself 'Ha...silly Americans'.....hmmm...wait...I'm a...oh never mind.

[LeeFisher3]

But have you considered it is very difficult to marry within the American culture, mainly because most Americans don't have any culture other than what grows on the shower curtain or laundry basket...

[kaigaorui]

Silly guys! You are fooling yourselves once again. We dont pick wives: wives pick us! And as far as american woman, I believe The Guess Who wrote a song about that.

[ndjarrett]

My answer was...I married American twice...divorced twice...so now I am gonna try something different. Always been attracted to asian women anyways.

 

There were a few who assumed "mail-order-bride" who were quickly straightened out.

 

And, there are always a few smart-asses or jerks who just can;t cope...then the answer is KMA and get outta my face.

[notrevorich]

as she doesn't look Greek/Irish/American Indian

148822[/snapback]

What???? I thought you were hillbilly

148828[/snapback]

Southern Greece!

148861[/snapback]

So You must be a Greek Hill Billy

aren't there some hills near Nashville ?

[Trigg]

as she doesn't look Greek/Irish/American Indian

148822[/snapback]

What???? I thought you were hillbilly

148828[/snapback]

Southern Greece!

148861[/snapback]

So You must be a Greek Hill Billy

aren't there some hills near Nashville ?

158441[/snapback]

Yup, I'm a greasy hillbilly!