Jeikun

Not so. It is not based on province. What happens is that in some provinces there are certain ethnic groups and any ethnic group that is not Han is legally allowed to reproduce like rabbits. Han Chinese in Yunnan are under the population planning rules. true and not true, china is not as rigid as usa govt control Not a very lucid statement that anybody who has been in China for more than 4 days would find true. When the Chinese government wants to exercise control, they can do it very rigidly and in the most brutal ways imaginable. Oh, really? Show us an example. As far as I know, when the fishing ship went to the coatline of Russia, the Russians fired at them, killing 7 out of 16. Last month, the same thing happened in the Chinese coast line by American so called research ship, did we kill the Americans? Negative. Because despite moaning about it, the Chinese government was too smart to fire on a US ship in INTERNATIONAL waters. Firing on the US ship would have been an aggressive and unjustifiable response in both the view of the USA and the UN, and bought heap big plenty trouble for China. They were aware of this. So they just harassed them, and mooned them, and the USA was too smart to be aggressive to the Chinese ships to justify an aggressive response. It's a good thing both of our countries military leadership have the good sence to think such things through. Of course the political spinmeisters and uneducated masses... that's another story. Good thing they're not in charge of the military. Oh, but what does comparing a Russian and a Chinese unrelated naval action have to do with how strict the USA and China are about civil law. Just an excuse to inject a smidgeon of venom? I am perplexed. My example just serves the propose of denying the saying that our government is brutal, by some guys here...actually our government is people friendly. By the way, according to the news here, the USA ship did go inside our waterway... it is lucky for Americans this time. If they went near/inside Russian coastline, they would have lost their lives, at least some of them. If we went inside their territorial waters, yes. China claims to have sovereignty within their "exclusive economic zone", which the UN and no other country holds to be the case. They have exclusive fishing rights there. Not the right to say who can go there and what they can do (except that they can't steal fish). Now, if that ship had been stealing fish... China would have been within it's rights to accost them. Russia knows this well also. The distance between Russia and Alaska is very small. If you went 10 feet off shore you would be closer to Russia than we were to China. Anyway, "lucky this time" isn't so accurate, we do that constantly. Almost every day. It's just never in the news because usually nothing exciting happens from it. Don't get me wrong, I don't BLAME China for not liking it. Just like we never liked people maneuvering in the caribbean or the gulf. It's just part of the game we play. The USA and China have strong interests in keeping peace with each other. But our Navies and Air Forces have to flex their muscles at each other occasionally. It's all in good fun, actually. My main question in using that, is that how the military behaves to a foreign power doesn't have much to do one way or the other with how that country's civil government governs it's own people. Anyway whether China is harsh or friendly, and whether the 1 child policy is fair or unfair isn't really the point. The point was to what extent it is causing a gender imbalance, and what kinds of problems could it cause? Personally, I think a bigger problem will be the age balance. Since most Chinese traditionally take care of their parents, and because of improving health care people live longer lives in the modern age, there will be more and more people growing old who need to be supported by much less young people. We have the same problem growing now in Europe, and the USA, and Japan because many of these developed countries had many babies after World War 2, and now have much fewer, but it could possibly become a larger problem in China someday. What do you think?

Not so. It is not based on province. What happens is that in some provinces there are certain ethnic groups and any ethnic group that is not Han is legally allowed to reproduce like rabbits. Han Chinese in Yunnan are under the population planning rules. true and not true, china is not as rigid as usa govt control Not a very lucid statement that anybody who has been in China for more than 4 days would find true. When the Chinese government wants to exercise control, they can do it very rigidly and in the most brutal ways imaginable. Oh, really? Show us an example. As far as I know, when the fishing ship went to the coatline of Russia, the Russians fired at them, killing 7 out of 16. Last month, the same thing happened in the Chinese coast line by American so called research ship, did we kill the Americans? Negative. Because despite moaning about it, the Chinese government was too smart to fire on a US ship in INTERNATIONAL waters. Firing on the US ship would have been an aggressive and unjustifiable response in both the view of the USA and the UN, and bought heap big plenty trouble for China. They were aware of this. So they just harassed them, and mooned them, and the USA was too smart to be aggressive to the Chinese ships to justify an aggressive response. It's a good thing both of our countries military leadership have the good sence to think such things through. Of course the political spinmeisters and uneducated masses... that's another story. Good thing they're not in charge of the military. Oh, but what does comparing a Russian and a Chinese unrelated naval action have to do with how strict the USA and China are about civil law. Just an excuse to inject a smidgeon of venom? I am perplexed.

Wow, great reading. Back in 2004 just a few days before I joined CFL, I hired John Roth to handle my K-1 petition just as a security blanket. I'm glad to see he's out there like that actually trying to do something about it, and really seems to care.

Why should he go to jail? Based on a photo of alleged dope? Exactly. In most states getting caught red-handed with a small amount and even smoking it doesn't get you jail time. Just gets you relieved of your dope and presented with a fine. A photo of a random guy with a bong in his mouth wouldn't even get a 2 second glance from an average police officer. If Phelps were charged based on that it would be the pinnacle of hypocracy. Regardless of someone's personal feelings on pot use. And I normally feel law enforcement goes too easy on many celebrities... but that doesn't excuse the opposite extreme being applied here.

Completely hypothetical... I know there are a billion reasons against it... but suppose the US one day did what Iceland did essentially. "We will honor no foreign debts" What would anyone REALLY do? It would kill our credibility true, but who could afford not to do business with us?

I don't think the article was a blame piece, it was just written in the easy-to digest without thinking to much, and shocking attention-grabbing way that pretty much all news stories made for general public consumption here in the USA are. Even an article about a cat stuck in a tree, a sinkhole, a kidnapping... same style. And since it's sensationalist to a degree, if you don't agree with it, it tends to piss you off. If you do agree with it, it tends to make you more sure of your opinion than perhaps you should be. And those are BOTH outcomes that they want. Either way you pay attention to it, have a reaction to it, and remember it.

I couldn't eat dog either, but don't judge Chinese who do. Just as I would hope if someone kept chickens as pets and couldn't eat them because of it they wouldn't consider me a murderer for eating Chicken I wouldn't eat the Honeycomb tripe, but I loves me some chicken blood cubed up and put in chicken broth... It's like silken tofu made of meat.. hehe had that at the same dive restaurant where the medium-rare chicken gave me salmonella and we had to switch tables because the roaches wanted to share the first one. I don't agree with you about Chinese medicine. I do agree so far as Chinese food is by and large healthier than American food. And that certain things are beneficial for certain conditions, but my (as of yesterday officially) ex-wife is in China now rotting from the inside while getting the benefit of amazing Chinese medicine for a condition that a pill a day would permanently control and reverse in the US. But at least her body is being treated like a garden and not a machine...

It's all about what you grew up eating when you were too young to protest or care what was put in front of you. These things become "normal". I remember a few years ago Jun and my Grandma talking about pig brains, chitlins, pig's feet and how yummy they were while the rest of us cringed.

I think everone has some racist thoughts or impulse, to some degree or another. I agree about it being bred into us to be xenophobic by nature. But I also believe people are capable of acting intelligently and fairly despite the occasional thought. Seeing a good looking scantily clad lady walking towards you on the street might send blood rushing *somewhere* and make you want to *something* her *something*, but I hope for her sake and yours that you don't regularly give such impulses more than a moment's thought before banishing them back to the id. *censored for non-TC posting*

there are many great things in both cultures to embrace. just need open mind right. But have too say i will never like mcdonalds burgers , yuk yes.. I much prefer fish eyes, pig stomach and ears, duck brain, and beef tongue... Oh... and donkey meat is to die for on a cold northern morning Oops..left out the dog meat... And that "three screams" thing where you dip the live baby mice in the sauce and just chew em' up alive nummy!! (but seriously, no need to apologize for not liking McDonald's... you're better off without it)

Also I wanted to add, I realize the difference is in that China's history and culture is continuous. Government may have changed, but language, culture, and ethnicity has evolved in a steady stream from the most ancient times... as China is the only of the great ancient civilizations that still exists. I in no way mean to trivialize this, or imply I am too dense to get it. I also don't mean to imply insofar as richness and depth, that our culture is in the same league. I value our culture, but compared to China, all the world's cultures are young. I just don't like to see it exaggerated to the point that it often is. There are so many great things to be seen in American and English literature, western philosophy and culture. I just keep getting visions of some redneck living in a trailer park with his Chinese wife, and the horrible and shallow vision of America that must come from that. Just wish we could take joy and pride in both, and pass it on to your kids as something to be proud of and appreciate on both sides, you know?

I agree in this to a point, in that many Americans are ignorant of even their own backgrounds, history, and culture. Yes many people's lives and viewpoints never expand more than 100 miles from their home, and their history is only as long as their grandfather's memory. Sadly, I think this does not just apply to Americans. It's a disease of the modern age when the "next" and the "new" is shoved down your throat faster than you can swallow the "now". America is just the most obvious example of it because we got to this point first. Look to yourself, and teach your children well, is all I can advise. China, or the USA... in both places (and all) the majority of us will never have control of what others do and think. Of course here, it's interesting to talk about it, even argue, but in reality we all just do what we must to survive and try to have a fulfilling life. Not enough energy to try to run everyone else's life too. However, it doesn't mean our culture isn't worth understanding. Look outside your own walls and prejudices. I hear many people give David (deserved) praise for wrapping his mind around Chinese concepts. But why do we always assume that an American can see the wisdom in Eastern thought if he is smart enough, but a Chinese person cannot see the wisdom in Western thought? Is it that Chinese are inferior thinkers? Or that western thought is so foolish that any Chinese person is too wise to be so foolish? I find both ideas insulting and arrogant to a degree. So instead of REALLY sharing ideas and concepts and our own culture, we trivialize it. We reinforce our SO's own old stereotypes, while at the same time giving ourselves a big ol' pat on the back for trying to overcome our own. We do ourselves discredit, and willingly accept labels that do not define us, to appease, rather than to grow together. And many who do "defend" the US on messageboards and such, do it with such zeal that it will never be accepted except by someone who alreayd agrees, and could never change anyone's mind anyway because of all the opinions a Chinese woman has to consider, a loud angry guy on a messageboard isn't likely one she will think of I just see a lot of one-sidedness, closed-mindedness, and pontificating (and yeah I know I've been a part at times) out there, and often it is not from the people we want to believe it's coming from. But again, nothing I say will change anyone's opinion, and many of you probably just take me as a blowhard. I have my own opinions of those of you who do

To say the way things happened in the US is "fast track" is also to ignore history, David. Perhaps you are trivializing the familiar in favor of the exotic and thus robbing yourself of perspective. Americans did not spring forth from the ground 232 years ago. Our philosophy and government and culture largely decended and evolved over the last 2,400 years and before from Ancient Greece, Plato, Germanic and Celtic Europe, the Roman empire, european culture and monarchy... to say because America's identity as a soverign nation is barely over 200 years old, that we were not built on these things would be just as silly as saying because Communist China's government is only 60 years old that China is a baby country, culture, and people. 2,500 years is a long time. Maybe "fast tracked" to you, but compared to what? I learned Aesop's fables as I was learning to read. I heard Grimm's fairy tales, and european children's songs as a child. I studied English literature and Greek philosophy in high school. This is all part of our history and culture, and in my mental framework. And while I know you aren't saying it... US culture and history isn't just yankee doodle dandy, monday night football, hollywood, and hot dogs. If any of our SO's see it that way, that is OUR failure, not theirs.

Yeah, you're covered there I guess. Kinda like how I felt in Japan at just 5'11".

Sighing right along with you, Dave. Hey, Lilac... do you have ANYTHING you think China could benefit from doing like the west (even something trivial), that isn't just a sideways comment about something else you don't like about America? If not that's cool and all (I happen to agree with your quip), but everyone else kept it on topic and pretty light-hearted. No fair to get two don't-likes in one post

China needs to learn more western ways of doing things like not chewing their food with mouths wide open like a cow chewing cud and spitting bones and nasty bits right on the dern table. I mean.... gerrr-oss! My mama woulda swatted me cross-eyed if I had ate like that when I was 4! America needs to learn more eastern ways of doing things like eating more vegetables, fruits, fish, and more healthily prepared foods instead of bacon double cheeseburgers and quadruple big-gulps of fizzy sugar water before we become a nation of Jabba the Hutt look alike contestants... oh wait... too late maybe.

If you are from the USA you are from a town of less than 12 million. Even NY,NY is barely over 8 million, and the next biggest, LA is less than 4. My wife used to laugh at my concept of a "big city" and say we are all country people here. Just as I was shocked that the "little town" she claimed to be from had a population of 1.5 million which would make it bigger than the 6th largest city in America. And honestly, when I was in Beijing, a sizeable portion of the men were as tall/taller than me, and I'm 5'11". Han are not small people.

Forgive me, but this popped into my head and posting it is the only way to get it out: http://i39.tinypic.com/1zg698h.jpg

I looked for awhile online, and couldn't seem to find one for sale (maybe someone else knows an online place). Plenty of the shabu-shabu style hotpots, but none of the divided sichuan style. I got one from a tiny little asian market in Virginia, and see them in most of the ones here in California. If you don't have one in your parts, maybe you can work out with another member, or someone you know near one of the larger asian markets to purchase and send out to you.

Glad you picked something to try and give him a little heads up, without rocking the boat at home too much. Hope it ends well (especially for you). Let us know, won't you? Oh, and I know it makes me a vocab nazi, but I'm so neurotic about it I can't help it: People can be mute(unable to speak : lacking the power of speech), but points can be moot (deprived of practical significance).

It's not just age difference. I'm aware of other members with the same age difference who have been married for years, and are very happy. As another member pointed out, it's ratio. When I was 28, I dated a 20 year old girl who (despite not being able to drink) was pretty much on the same level as me (divorced and starting over). BUT if I had met her when I was 22 and she was 14... it would have been a different (and much less legal) situation. Anyway, I'm almost sorry I made the comment, because I know Dennis only wanted input about his decision to tell Al, or not. I just got so shocked at a 22 year old meeting a 45 year old blind, I couldn't stop myself from commenting.

I would agree to it being none of our business as well, Jin. Except that Dennis asked for input, and he knows as well as I do that if you air something here, you get plenty of input whether you ask for it or not. So to use a popular English idiom "He asked for it" so im sure he tell him to join CFL as he has many things to learn for all things, right ? As long as he is ok with him reading this thread I would guess that if he doesn't plan on telling him about the matchmaking switch, then he won't tell him to join candle either, at least until after he's met the girl. Since reading this thread would give everything away.

I would agree to it being none of our business as well, Jin. Except that Dennis asked for input, and he knows as well as I do that if you air something here, you get plenty of input whether you ask for it or not. So to use a popular English idiom "He asked for it"

This is undoubtably the most asinine post that I have yet to read during four years as a member of this forum. Your post speaks for itself and any intelligent member can see it for what it is. While I wouldn't give it that designation (I'm certain I've seen hundereds of posts more deserving of being called asinine), and I have some serious doubts about the viability of such a relationship... I wouldn't call it visa fraud. It's only visa fraud if they met, and then one of them surepticiously, or both of them knowingly, pursued a visa when there is no bona fide relationship. While the circumstances of them meeting may indeed be fraudulent (to one or both of them), if they truly build a relationship from that point, it would not be visa fraud. Also, if they didn't pursue a relationship it of course wouldn't be visa fraud, because no visa. Either way, Dennis wouldn't be a "party to" anything beyond their first meeting, because that is between grandpa Al, and chickie-boo at that point. So while questioning Dennis' decision in being a party to their introduction and witholding information from Al is within bounds (hey he even asked for it). Suggesting he's condoning or assisting in visa fraud is innacurate and overreacting. And Dennis, re your recent post mentioning my comment of "he's a letcher"... that wasn't my verdict... just a possible explanation in my mind for why a mature 45 y/o man who has likely been around the block a few times and saw the moon landing on TV would want to pursue marriage with a 22 y/o freshly minted girl who probably can't remember life without the internet and a cell phone, and might have "gone steady" for a year or two once, and doesn't even know how to say "I like cheese" or "Which way is the library" in his native language. I seriously doubt it's because he thinks they are twin souls and she just understands him SO DEEPLY (and even if so that part is due to the machinations of your sister-in-law as she isn't even the girl he THINKS he was talking to). Nevertheless, that isn't an opinion on what you asked about... my opinion on that was, keep your mouth shut this time, but make clear you don't want to be a party to future "matchmaking". OK Is it BYOB? I think since it's being said that you would BE the party (to)... that means you have to bring the beer, Dennis.

This is undoubtably the most asinine post that I have yet to read during four years as a member of this forum. Your post speaks for itself and any intelligent member can see it for what it is. kinda going by GUZ is doing on "not bonefide" arranged meetings, no common language, big age gap , no history before meeting ... etc .... etc ...etc i wish them every luck, but they are being set up for a big "white" THIS I agree with you completely on, Rob. It would indeed be red flag city for a VO. finally someone gets it except... you assume GUZ is somehow informed of these discrete details... who exactly is going to tell GUZ so clearly the details when AL is not told? Doesn't anyone get it? If I remember correctly, both you and I, David, were required to offer certain items of "evidence" for our fiancees for their interviews. While ALL the details won't come out (like not knowing she wasn't the girl he was originally planning to meet) unless he just wanted to shoot himself in the foot... some like: Age (actually generation) Gap - birth certificates, anyone? Language Barrier - Let's see someone try to fake this at the interview Beginning and Evolution of the relationship - Can be lied on (but then that WOULD be fraud) Not saying it means they would definately be turned down... hey maybe they won't file for a year, and she will learn English in that time, he will visit her 6 times, and they will have thousands of emails and phone logs, right? But "better" couples have been turned away for far less. So yeah, I DO "get it", David. Do you?