MarkLuvsShuPing

Carl, Damn it! I'm sorry this happened to you and Bing, of all people. My first impulse is to revert to my southern roots and want to open a big barrel of whoopass on somebody. Obviously that's not a possibility, so I'll try to be a little more useful. I know this sucks for you. It's so unfair and full of injustice and nothing burns me up more than that. What a crock! It's as if they want to instill fear in those who apply for their damn visa. I, for once, agree with Clifford. (That alone should compel you.) Why the hell should you present any more evidence than you already have? Evidence that this bimbo didn't even look at. WTF?!!!!! It might be a different scenario if she'd looked at everything and asked for more, but how can she just blow Bing off like that? Anyway, I'm ready to fire off a letter when needed, just ask. In the meantime, I plan to do exactly what I am doing for mine and ShuPing's case. I pray. I am praying for you and Bing, Carl. I know that God has the power to work this out for you two. This is simply a bump in the road and will only make your love and determination stronger. Find out as much as you can about all this. Keep a cool head and take a few deep breaths, then just know that it will work out for you guys. You'd be suprised what a little positive energy can do for a situation. In fact, I'd like to ask everyone here to add as much positive energy as they can muster about this. Let's just imagine Carl and Bing together, Bing getting through customs and the happy reunion they will have there in the airport. I really believe this kind of energy is more than GZ can trump. We can't do anything else right now, we might as well try this. Hang in there Carl. This will work out and you will come through this with Bing in your arms.

This has been one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I'm not sure why, except that I'm a perfectionist and the prospect of filing an unacceptable packet kept pushing me to procrastination. Fortunately, I have a very loving wife who inspired me to keep going. I finally used a service called ImmiForms on the web and for a nominal fee, I had/have access to all the forms I need to put the K-3 Visa through. It also takes the info you put on one form and fills in the other forms for you. Really helpful to me. Thanks for all the moral and technical support. I know I'll be needing more, but just watching everyone else go through the process and learning has been invaluable.

Thanks guys. "None" it is. Just an aside, after re-reading the instructions for the I-130, 4.C. states "If any item does not apply, please write "N/A." But I feel compelled by Clifford's advice, I'll be adding none and n/a.

Almost ready to send off the I-130, does anyone know how important it is to put "n/a" or "none" in the empty spaces? I can't find any instructions on how to fill these forms out, seems to me they can't be too picky if they don't even tell you what they expect. But then again, it is our gubment.

Hey, I could use some of that making you beautiful cream for myself.

I work with troubled kids in a residential treatment facility, these kids have been abused and neglected, many are extreme cases. The one thing that I see missing in their lives and here on this thread is consistency. Discipline, whether by spanking, restrictions, praise or attention, must be consistent. If a kid is punished for lying about homework today, but not given any consequence for lying about something else later, they get mixed messages - i.e., it's OK to lie sometimes. These mixed messages create doubt and insecurity in the child. These are the things that lead to worse offenses because the kid wants to have well defined boundaries. Having boundaries = knowing you are cared for. The kid is basically saying, "I'll push these boundaries because I need to see if my parents care enough to notice." Consistency is key. It sends the message that you, the parent, care enough about the kid to define their boundaries. Kids have a hard time learning about healthy boundaries and they need our help. If the boundaries depend on the mood of the parent, the kid will keep testing and pushing to find the consistency. In that regard Dave, you and your wife really need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline. If she is going to ream your son anytime he screws up, then you need to support her efforts. You don't have to ream him too, but you have to present a united front. However, if you think she was way too harsh on him, you need to tell her to lighten up because you won't feel comfortable backing her up if you think she's wrong. Parents don't have to have the same parenting styles to be effective, but they do need to be united. That'll show consistency and that'll make the kid feel secure. Kids who are secure feel better about themselves and won't go looking for confirmation about their self worth in all the wrong places. If they've gotten clear messages from their parents, they'll feel safe about going to their parents for advice and to get their emotions validated. I've never hit my son, not once, yet he is one of the most responsible, honorable and honest people you'll meet. His mother and I don't like each other, but we work together to provide consistency in his life and the effort really shows. The point is that it doesn't matter how you punish or praise the child as long as you do it consistently. I don't believe that spanking is neccessary, but if you're going to do it, do it the same way each time.

You think you're rambling, you should see some of our posts in the Rumpus Room. Congrats on finally getting to the end of your process. I wish the best for you and your fiance.

Yeah, I kinda knew that, but she has trouble getting on 001 for some reason. I'll post a note over here and see how that works. Thanks Bob

Good luck Bobby, we know it will be smooth sailing/flying through the end of this thing. No worries.

I am on the phone with ShuPing and she tells me that she would like to meet some girls who are in the same waiting game as she is. Kind of a support system of waiting wives. She is in Nanning and we are just starting the process. If anyone would like to get together with ShuPing and make a new friend, please shoot me an e-mail.

Hey Mike, Let's do. I actually live in Arvada. My son plays midget football in Wheat Ridge. I applied for a job at Coors Tech a couple of years ago. Now we're both involved with Chinese women. Must be something in the CO water.

OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!! Mike, I'm really happy for you guys. 11 months put you on the fast track! I hope ShuPing and I can follow in your footsteps. I'm sure the interview is just a formality, but get her as ready as possible anyway.

I'm jealous! Great news and congratulations! Your long journey and waiting are almost over. I wish you guys all the best.

I look not at the economic state of the Union, I agree with CD on that issue, but the effect the president had on the national psyche. All presidents have had their dark sides, either their own personal or through their administration. Reagan had Iran-Contra, Kennedy had Marilyn, Clinton had, (no, not Monica), Paula. It's the nature of the position to let it effect their judgement. No president is 100% responsible for the policies and laws and economy that goes on during their administration, it's a collaborative effort. Where the rubber meets the road is in the public's overall attitude. FDR was great in that he helped the country feel good about itself and recover from the great depression and WWII. Kennedy got us in the space race and challenged us to be the world leader that we thought we were. Reagan took us to that shining city upon the hill. Conversely, Johnson got lynched by a country in turmoil over an unjust war. Carter came off as a wimp because the country needing to blame someone for corrupt politics, the economy and the Iranian hostages. Clinton divided the country so severely that the Gore/Bush race came down to a few hanging chads. Bush, like our country, has had an up and down ride while the country fears, first it's own indecision and then a threat from outside and now another ugly and, apparently, unjust war. Presidents make those life and death, global decisions and they should be judged on how well those decisions panned out, because those decisions effect the national psyche and the course of history. How many of you remember thinking on 9-11 "Damn, I'm glad Bush won and not Gore". Now how many think he's evil because he jumped on Iraq without a real reason? How many opinions would change if, tomorrow, they found the infamous WMD in Iraq or Wall Street jumped a rocket to all time highs for 6 months? What if DHS thwarted a terrorist attack that would've made 9-11 look insignificant? The presidents are a reflection of the country's mood. Clinton was allowed to rise above the law and deny another citizen her civic rights because we, as a nation, cared more about who's to blame than the truth. Reagan got away with diverting money for his own agenda, despite congress disagreeing with him, just because the Soviet Union was crumbling and the US was high on the global hill. I still say Reagan and Clinton were the most important because they are opposite sides of the same corrupt coin. They are the sins that our children will pay for and that will impact our country the most in the long run. OK, leaving the soapbox now. Next?!!!

Reagan and Clinton. Reagan because he brought back the pride in our nation and the downfall of the Soviet Union. Clinton because he will prove to be the demise of the Democratic party.

Thanks Frank, yeah, I do need a publisher. Know any? Did you read my post about wanting to get this thing published to hopfully increase awareness about our "blight"? I'd like to flesh out my story some more and maybe add some others from CFL to it. I think it would be a good way to spread the word about he crap people have had to go through.

Last chapter, thanks for being patient, this story got a lot longer than I thought it would. We did wake up at 6:00am, how could we not? I had 2 alarms set and I was so anxious that I woke up 10 mins to 6. I laid there, not wanting to leave my sleeping bride, taking in the feelings and physical sensations that I would miss for the next few months or possibly more. The alarms went off and we were off. We took no time to think of emotions, we just showered, dressed, packed and avoided the impending separation. ShuPing planned to take an advanced course in nail sculpting in Beijing after I left, so I gave her 1300RMB to finish paying for it. We were the first ones into the hotel restaurant for breakfast. I took my time eating, knowing that I wanted to keep that one last moment from slipping away from me. Of course time did continue on and about 7:25, we went back to the room to bring our bags down. Mr. Lo was there to pick us up, punctual as usual. He loaded his taxi and, unfortunately, he had to put two of my bags in the back seat forcing me to sit in the front. My plan was to arrive at the airport at 8:00 for the 9:15 departure time. I didn't take into account that it was rush hour and we were in a very big city. Mr. Lo did his best to avoid the traffic, taking round about ways that were less congested, but nevertheless I watched the minutes pass by on my watch. 8:00 and then 8:30 passed and we still weren't at the airport. We got there at 8:45 and quickly unloaded my bags. I snapped a quick photo of Mr. Lo, shook his hand, and ran into the airport with my wife. We stopped long enough to pay for the porter who carried my bags and then the airport tax. I got to the customs area, where ShuPing wasn’t allowed to go and I told her I would check my bags and come back to her. She said she would wait. I got to the check-in counter at about 8:50 and checked my four bags. Unfortunately, I had to pay extra for two of them, there was a two limit max on checked baggage, anything over that is $130 per bag. I had no American money, only Chinese RMB, so I asked if I could pay with that. The ticket agent told me that would be fine, but she would have to convert the amount into RMB. When that was done, she wanted about 2100RMB. Unfortunately, I had given ShuPing most of my RMB for the nail class. I was about 600RMB short. My credit card was maxed out and I had an unknown amount of money in my checking account, so my only recourse was to go back and get some of that money from my wife. I informed the ticket agent that I would have to run back and she said she would go with me, but I had to really hurry because the plane would start boarding in 15 minutes and I still had to go through customs and security. Rushing back to where I’d left ShuPing, I found her still waiting. I quickly told her that the bags cost more than we had anticipated and I needed more money to pay for them. Speaking English quickly to someone who’s English is marginally conversational is pointless. I had to repeat myself slowly, I was not in slow mode at that moment, so I took an extra breath. The girl behind me tapped her foot in mock patience while I tried again to explain. This time she got it and gave me the money she had. I counted out what I needed and gave the rest back to her. I kissed her quickly on the cheek and told her I would try to come back to say goodbye. I ran quickly back to the ticket counter with the young ticket agent right on my heels. I paid the money and the bags were checked. I got my boarding pass and asked how much time I had. The ticket girl told me it was 9:05 and I must hurry through customs and security before I missed my plane. I headed off to the customs counter with my heart heavy with regret and anxiety. I quickly got through the necessary delays and made it to the concourse as the business class passengers were boarding. I bought a phone card and frantically attempted to call ShuPing, but a message by a Chinese telephone operator, informed me that something was wrong with the way I dialed or that her phone was off, I really had no idea what the message was. I clearly understood what it meant though, my wife was waiting for me to come back to kiss her goodbye and I couldn’t go back to her. I boarded the plane hoping she could know the sadness I was feeling. My last look at her had been a quick glance over my shoulder as I ran to check my bags and catch my plane. I wanted to run up and tell the pilot to hold the plane while I went back to her one more time. Instead, I pulled out my journal and wrote her a letter. My flight to Tokyo was quick and uneventful. When I got to Narita airport, I had a short layover and bought a calling card there. I struggled with using it too, until a friendly girl explained it to me. I called ShuPing and she answered. She had waited for me to return, but when I didn’t, she understood. She had asked Mr. Lo to take her to a place where she could watch the planes take off. When she was walking back to the cab, she fell and banged her knee on the sidewalk. The remainder of my flight was fairly routine. I re-entered the country through Seattle with no real problems. The customs agents were impressed with the amount of ginseng I was bringing back with me, but otherwise there were no problems. I had about a five-hour layover in Seattle. I got back to Denver to find that two of my bags were missing, but they turned up after about an hour search. My mother and son picked me up and my first China adventure was over. Fortunately, my life with ShuPing has just begun. For those of you who followed my story, thanks for noticing and coming back from time to time. I appreciate the support and hopefully I can do something positive and meaningful with this story.

Mayhaps a new plan to ...try to take over the world?!!!!!!!!!!! (Reference 300 for those who avoid it). Either way, I predict this to be a great year for our monkeys!

Happy Birthday Kimnjake!!!!! We wish you all the best of love and especially togetherness for this year! http://www.ze-card.com/images/thumbnails/animated/birthday.gif

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ShuPing is a monkey too. I wonder if monkeys are naturally adventurous, therefore they marry us Americans. I'm a tiger and I always tell her that I'm hungry for monkey meat.n Forget the chicken, I'm hungry for monkey!

OK, only two days left in the story. Morning came and we ate breakfast at the hotel, ran over to the ATM and got some money, hailed a taxi and we were off to see the Summer Palace. We got there, paid our money and went in. The Summer Palace is beautiful, spread out over a 12 square mile area and overlooking Kunming Lake, it is one of the best things I saw in China. I learned a lot about the history of the last emperors. We saw the opulent lifestyle of Cixi, the empress. She used the money that should have gone to build up the Chinese navy to build this incredibly beautiful but unnecessary royal resort. Needless to say, there was a lot of walking involved. There was also a lot of climbing to be done too. There is the Tower of Buddhist Incense, which is straight up on top of a really large hill. The climb was worth it, you can see about everything from there. Even though it was wintertime, this is one of the most beautiful places in China. Lots of gardens and palaces. It is definitely a "must-see" if you go to Beijing. (If you're interested you can check out this web site:The Summer Palace ShuPing's feet began to hurt after being there about 3 hours. Being the American I am, I wanted to push on and see everything, but I saw the complete futility in this kind of thinking and we decided to go back to Beijing. We exited the nearest gates, which was near Suzhou Street on the north side of the park. The problem was there were no taxis there. We walked into the little town and ShuPing flagged a car down to ask where we could catch a taxi. Apparently, that was a long way off and the guy offered to give us a ride (for 35 RMB) into Beijing as he was going that way anyway. This stuck me as odd because it isn't something you'd readily find in most American suburbs and if you did you would have to question the motives of the driver. Nevertheless, we hopped in and he took us right to our hotel. He and ShuPing talked quite a bit. She told me they were discussing politics. She asked me questions about what happens to poor people in the United States. She said they were talking about the poverty in Beijing, how there were a lot of very poor people in Beijing because it is so expensive to live there. Relative to the rest of China, Beijing can be quite costly. We decided to eat lunch instead of going directly back to our hotel room. We ate at the same restaurant we had eaten the day before, the one right next to the hotel. I decided not to order the Peking Duck this time. This would be our last night together and that thought was starting to seep into my mind more and more often. ShuPing felt it too, but we resolved not to dwell on it, but instead we tried to enjoy our time together. We relaxed in the hotel room for a few hours, watching TV and napping, ShuPing was very tired. When we re-energized, we decided to go see the movie we hadn't been able to see the night before. ShuPing told me that before we could go to the movie, we had to stop at the drug store. She needed to get a special medication for her sister-in-law that they didn't have in QiQiHaer. We left the hotel and headed over to the ATM again. We stopped in the department store to buy some candy and then attempted to hail a taxi. This is usually not a problem, but for some reason we were in the wrong place. Taxis were either full and wouldn't stop or they wouldn't stop because we were in the wrong place and they couldn't stop. Persistence pays off though and we finally got the ride we wanted. ShuPing told the driver where she needed to go and that we planned to go to the movies. He knew of a theater near the drug store and said that the movie "Cell Phone" was really good, he had just seen it. I had hoped to see "Pirates of the Caribbean", I had seen it before and would know what was going on, even if it was in Chinese. I decided that I was in China, I should see a Chinese movie. We were dropped off near the drug store and directed to the theater. We went to the drug store. I am interested in Chinese medicine and I was somewhat excited about seeing how they were different. I was not disappointed. The front of the store appeared to be dedicated to natural remedies and medicines. I saw dried seahorses, roots, even a lizard fan (two dried out hooded lizards tied together to a stick). There were lots of roots and herbs, but nothing I could identify. They even had a section of specialized teas. They also had the typical, boxed medicines you might find in a western drug store. We walked across the street to the theater and bought tickets to "Cell Phone". We ad about an hour and a half to kill before the movie started so we walked around to do some window-shopping. I had seen several Dairy Queen's earlier and I had a strong desire for some soft serve ice cream. I asked ShuPing if she knew what Dairy Queen was and she had never heard of it before. The search was on. Actually, we walked around a little and couldn't find one, so the alternative ended up being a KFC. We had an ice cream cone each and waited for the movie time to arrive. We had about half an hour to be with each other in the KFC. Someone asked the question recently about how to be romantic or what is romance. Romance is the ability to be with someone you love, no matter where that place is. It's that ability to be together and to feel the love between you and your lover. KFC can be romantic, if you make it that way. We went into the movie theater, not at all like the megaplex cinemas here in the states, but a small little room with a projector screen on one wall. The back of the room was higher than the front and the seats were bolted down, much like any theater only smaller. The movie started and ShuPing interpreted a some of the dialogue, but I was able to get the gist of the story. A man, obsessed with his cell phone and women, finds out the hard way that keeping secrets from your wife will get you into trouble. It was actually a good movie and even thought I couldn't understand the dialogue, I could tell there were some very funny parts to it. When we left, ShuPing told me that many Chinese men are like the man in the movie, they can't keep their pants up. It is one of the reasons that she had never married before, she never felt she could trust a man. I told her that men are men and it's not just a Chinese thing. Many men, not all, cheat on their wives and it doesn't matter where they are from. I think she found that interesting. We went back to the hotel and prepared everything to leave early in the morning. The plan was to wake up at 6AM, eat at 7 and leave for the airport at 7:30. My flight was leaving at 9:30. One more installmen to go and I'll finish my China trip story. Stay tuned...

I was thinking more along the lines of a couple hundred e-mails without a reference to the geographic location of the sender.

Oh Christ! ShuPing bought a jar of that crap in QiQiHaer. When she broke the seal on it, I damn near ran for the bathroom to puke. I joked with her that if my son walked in and smelled that he might say, "Che fang pi?" (Who farted?) She got a big kick out of it. I think I'd rather eat the silk worm caccoons than that mess. http://www.soimmature.com/images/stink_bombs.gif

Don't know what it was called, but there was a section that was closed off, no cars were allowed. I didn't notice any smells either, well, nothing out of the ordinary.

Just another step in the process. Look to the near future with happiness and just know that the right person will be the one that handles your paperwork and interviews Bing and that everything rolls along nice and smooth. I really think it helps to keep positive.