MarkLuvsShuPing

Now that I've started I suppose I should continue. Prior to going to Harbin we had gone to a photographer and had some pictures taken. When ShuPing asked me if we could have some pictures taken I had no idea what we were really doing. We stopped in the photographer's studio, which looked more like a bridal shop, to pick out the package. ShuPing talked to the sales girl for several minutes and then asked me if I thought we could afford the photo package she was pointing out. It was all in Chinese so I asked her what it included, she said this, this, and this, showing me the little picture on the brochure. The actual cost escapes me now, but it seemed reasonable enough so I agreed. The next day we went for the pictures. I assumed we would be there for a short time, 2 or 3 poses and be done with it. I should have grasped the magnitude when ShuPing said one of the girls would be making her hair and face up. I won't go into all the details, but we each got made up and each had 5 costume changes before the 5 hour ordeal was over. The reason we couldn't stay in Harbin any longer was because we had to go and pick out the pictures we wanted. No problem, she is very beautiful and very photogenic. I, on the other hand, had too much make up on. All in all, the pictures were really nice. A few days later we went to pick up the finished products - 1 huge (apprx 50"X 40") picture, in a gold frame, another large (apprx 35"X 28") picture in a gold frame, an 8X12 of ShuPing and a really nice, hard cover wedding album with many assorted pictures. Unfortunately it contained a lot of poor or misplaced English in it. Examples include: "I fear no longer your small."; "I love you when the brushing of the rain"; "Fresh Fashions for Spring"; "give me, I keep you satisfy, one mor chance to keep you satisfy"; and my two personal favorites - "Solo Love" and "Right here wailing". Now I'm not complaining, I think it is a very sweet book and the sentiments come from the right place, so who could complain. But it does crack me up. I can only imagine the butchery I would do if I attempted the same thing in Chinese. I thought I might be able to make a few RMB if I went around and sold my English editing services to various businesses. Of course, who in China knows or cares if the words are right? I don't really mean to be a tease *Darrell*. I really want to wrap this story up soon, but it's late and I have to get up really early tomorrow and besides, you have 300 to keep you amused. I hope you enjoy these snippets of my Chinese experience. Goodnight John Boy!

Now for the next installment of "As China Turns" ShuPing and I ate breakfast in the hotel restaurant. It was a very good buffett and we both filled up. Then we were off to meet HouLi and go to the Snow and Ice Festival. A long ride across town and over the river got us there. Along the way, I saw the first and only car accident I'd see in China. A van appeared to have lost control on the ice and hit the fence and railing on the side of the overpass. It sat sideways in the road as we passed. Back to the festival, for those who don't know, Harbin has a yearly event where they build a huge display of ice and snow sculptures. These aren't simply small little ice carvings, these are building sized creations that are elaborate and beautiful. This year coming is the year of the monkey and the entrance was a 25 foot monkey head made of snow. Unfortunately, we found out that it was only opened at night and that night was the grand opening so many things weren't ready yet. They wouldn't let us in more than a few feet to take pictures. Rather than go back to Harbin, we walked across the road to a little ski slope. It was very little, just a small hill with a butt lift to the top. We decided that it would be a good way to give ShuPing the experience of skiing. We paid for an hour and got boots, skis and poles. ShuPing managed to do fairly well with only a little instruction from me. There wasn't much hill to ski on, so the few times she did fall it was a sit down not a wipe out. Living in Colorado, I've become a fair hand at skiing, but I must've looked like a pro to the folks struggling to get down that little hill. I noticed the stares as I followed ShuPing down. It was time to go, so I ran back up the hill (the lift had stopped working) for one more quick run. I gave everyone a good show as I zipped down the hill with perfect form. *Riiiight* We came back to the city, passing the place where earlier there had been an accident with a van. It had been close to 2 hours since we had passed that way and the van was still sitting in the same spot. Talk about slow recovery. HouLi took us to a nice restaurant that she said served real authentic Chinese country cookin'. There were some good dishes and there were some not so good. HouLi's husband joined us and ordered beef tongue (I think that's what it was). He said it was a well liked Chinese country dish. I let him have all he wanted since I didn't want it. Soon it was time for HouLi to go to work and we were to go to the hotel to check out. We ended up taking too long to check out and missed our train, something ShuPing said she never did before. We had to see some rail road official to get the ticket renewed for the next tain to QiQiHaer. Once we got on the train, we were assigned seats in the dining car, which was not going to be used for passenger meals. The dining room car was pretty cold , but at least I didn't have to search for leg room. This train was also not the express train, so it stopped at every little station along the way. We enjoyed a nice, quiet and somewhat private train ride back to QiQiHaer.

LMAO How did you know I would think that I guess you could call it an educated guess since your reputation preceedes you.

My apologies Darrell, but don't you think it just adds to the telling to have to wait for the next exciting episode? Too bad I don't have some soap to sell. Now that you're all on the edge of your seats... We left QiQiHaer early in the morning of the 19th heading to Harbin. This was a commuter train so it was packed. The train ride from Beijing to QiQiHaer was a sleeping train and had the hard cots with not enough headroom, but at least it was romantic with a full moon to share with my airen. The commuter train wouldn't have been romantic if it had been empty, I'm a fairly tall individual and the lack of leg room nearly killed me. There are 3 seats facing 3 seats on each side of the train with about 2 feet in between the seat in front of you. The lady in front of me was kind enough to let me stretch one leg out under her seat and she did the same under mine, but 3 and a half hours later as we pulled into Harbin station, I was sure I would fall on my face when I stood up. Fortunately there were enough bodies pressed together to hold me up when I did stand. I should say that there is a certain sense of privacy in being the only English speakers in such a crowded space. I felt we could talk about anything and no one would know what we were saying. We did have some quality time together in that sense. ShuPing's neice met us at the station and we took a cab from there straight to the Marriage Certificate office. Finding a cab at the station seemed to be particularlly frustrating for them. We found several empty cabs but for some reason, which I still don't understand, we couldn't find one that would take us to the office. I think it had something to do with hotels, but I'm not sure. I know that we had to run a guantlet of hotel solicitors at every train station we went to. Eventually, we did find someone to take us. The folks at this government office weren't particularly kind and accomodating, but they weren't rude either. With the single exception of the photographer. He was an older guy who really seemed to enjoy his job, he was capturing a happy moment in time for many, many people. We filled out the required paperwork with only an occaisional call to HouLi, ShuPing's other neice who is pretty fluent in English. We left the office with instructions to return at 1:30 to pick up our certificates. This really pleased ShuPing, though I didn't catch the significance until days later. Basically, they had told her that it was all approved and we just had to return to pick it up. We then went to pick-up HouLi to have lunch. She took us to a very nice German brewery/restaurant. It was still Chinese food, just served in a micro-brewery with American country music playing in the background. Yes, another surreal moment. All the beer in the place is free, you just have to pay for the meal. We had 3 types, dark, pilsner and green, which, after talking to HouLi, I think was made from blue-green algea or spirulina. It wasn't bad, but the pilsner was delicious. Here's where things start getting good. HouLi, it turns out, works for the provincial government's public affairs office as a liason for agricultural issues. Her English is pretty good and it is amazingly refreshing to be able to converse with someone who understands enough to have an extended conversation. She was very curious about how ShuPing and I met and how we knew we wanted to get married based solely on our interaction on the internet. She was frank about her concerns, but after the lunch, she said she felt good about me and my relationship with her aunt. She also cleared up a lot of things for ShuPing. Things that I just couldn't adequately explain to her. Things like the whole visa process, life in America and the adjustments that ShuPing would have to make. HouLi was a Godsend and would prove even moreso later. We left with plans to drop HouLi off at her office and pick up our marriage certificates while she booked a hotel room for us. We did so and with very little trouble, we paid the clerk for the certificates and papers. I was ready to leave, headed for the door and ShuPing said we had to go to another office. OK, no problem. I'll go ahead and include my impressions of this office, even though it was insignificant, I think it is a good glimpse into Chinese culture. There was a gentleman and three ladies working in this very small office. The man was smoking and chit-chatting with 2 of the girls as they wrote e-mail on Yahoo China. He appeared to be the supervisor and did some wandering around which made him seem importantly busy. The other lady helped us with our paperwork, calling the supervisor over for final approval. No one seemed to be in any hurry, not that we were, but there was no stress on "Turnover! Turnover!". ShuPing said that I had to pay the lady and I thought, "Didn't we just pay upstairs?", but I learned to just do as I was told. We left and met HouLi. She said that because the Snow and Ice Festival was starting, all the hotels were booked up, she couldn't find a room for us. Fortunately, her boss had just left town and would be gone for a week, so she was able to get his private room for us, and at a discount. She took us to a nice hotel, not a 5 star, but definitely a good 4 star called the Center Hotel. She said that no one is ever allowed to use this room, but she managed to coerce the hotel manager. Instead of the normal 1000RMB per night, we got it for 400RMB. The room was on the top floor, the 9th. We stepped off the elevator and turned away from the long hallway to walk to the shorter hallway with only one room in it. We opened the door and nearly fell down. It was definitely the best room in the place, the Presidential suite according to HouLi. The entire room was beautiful. There was a dining room, with china cabinets along the wall and decorative nic-naks. There was Perrier in the little fridge. There were picture windows over looking the city. There was a sofa and chair in the living room with a fine tea setting prepared on it. An executive desk sat in another section of the great room. A wide-screen TV sat against another wall. There was a nice guest bathroom and the bedroom sported a huge bed (still hard, but softer than most), vanity, picture window and wall closet. The cherry on the cake came when we entered the bathroom. Everyone knows the general concept of a bathroom in China, but this one put American bathrooms to shame. It was larger by itself than the little hotel room we stayed in in Beijing. A large sink and counter with a hair dryer attached to the wall. A toilet, but not just any toilet, this one had a remote control command panel on the side. You could control the bathtub, music, heat and call room service or make a phone call all from the comfort of the john. The bathtub was a jacuzzi with shower nozzles built into the walls for pulsating bathtime fun. There was a foot massager that shot jets of water over your tired dogs and rolled and massaged them. You could play the radio or a CD or make phone calls while you soaked in the tub. Needless to say, HouLi had given us a wonderful wedding gift. When the door closed we began shooting video (no, not that kind of video Darrell) and taking pictures. Then we quickly jumped into that marvelous bathtub, I wanted to stay there the whole time. Later we ordered room service and had a wonderful meal in our executive honeymoon suite. Too bad we could only stay for one night, but it was a hell of a night. Alright, I'll finish the Harbin story later tonight.

Hey, a man's gotta sleep sometime. Stop me if I get too detailed, I don't want to use up too much server space or reader attention (unless I'm posting on 300). We spent the first night in QiQiHaer at Mama's house. I was honored to be given the bedroom and only bed for the night. Everyone else (Mama, Er Guo, sister-in-law, grandson and ShuPing) slept on a 6' x 12' brick platform in the living room. I figured out that it was the chimney from the cooking fire in the kitchen. ShuPing instructed me to use the chamber pot if I needed to in the night, a real treasure at 5 AM when the temp outside had to have been below 0. On the second day there, ShuPing recieved a phone call. When she hung up she had the biggest smile on her face. She said that she had to go to a hotel to pick up the documents that my mother had sent via UPS. We rejoiced!, now we could get married. The next day or so was spent visiting family and trying to decide who we would displace when we returned with our marriage certificate. ShuPing told me that it was tradition for a family member to give up their home for the newlyweds. We decided to take 4th sister's apartment. A small place located in the city and close to everything. It thankfully had a toilet, but not any hot water or a shower. Speaking of showers, because there are few showers in homes, there are public showers. I don't know if this is true for all of China or just North China, but it was the case in QiQIHaer. It was decided that we needed to bathe, so my new brothers in law and a nephew took me to the local bath house. Now I'm as secure in my manhood as the next guy, but there are times when it gets put to the test. I was already a source of great interest in a place where there are simply no white guys, period. Walking down the street produced lots of stares and I was fully clothed. Imagine the curiosity I created walking around naked. I'm not a real hairy guy, but I can boast a nice crop of chest hair and, without going into great detail, there were other apparent physical differences. Nonetheless, I continued on bravely. After a quick shower, we sat in the steam room for 5 mins. Then I was directed to lay on a table, much like a massage table. There was a plastic film on it and warm water dashed over it, so I laid down. A young man, who I was sure had never seen a white man before, let alone a naked one, began to scrub my body with a scouring pad. It wasn't near as painful as it sounds, but I did notice that he was scrubbing the top layer of my skin away. No problem, I've got 6 more. He scrubbed from head to toe and everywhere in between. He touched me in places only doctors and lovers have touched, though not intentionally, so I let it go. It was indeed refreshing and an experience I could only shake my head at. After another shower to wash the dead skin away, we all sat around in the locker room and drip dried. I'm hoping the conversation that went on was about sports or politics, but I can only imagine that it concerned the funny look on my face. I think it was, however, another bonding experience for my brothers and I. It works in China, but I don't know that it would work here in the states. I'll continue this later and tell you about Harbin, the marriage certificate and the honeymoon suite, it was quite the experience.

OK, I've made you guys wait long enough for the whole story. Not sure if I can get it all in here at one time, maybe it'll be a 2 or 3 part posting. Many of you know I was waiting at the last minute for my Affidavit of Single Status and Divorce Decree verification from the consulate in Chicago. Well, the night before I was to leave, I checked FedEx and found that they had mailed it late that night. Fortunately I had them send it to my mother, who, in turn sent it UPS to QiQiHaer. I was still aprehensive that we would have it in time. The flight over was long, but nice. No problem, even saw some beautiful images of the frozen cliffs of the Aluetian Islands peeking through the clouds. ShuPing met me at the Beijing Capitol airport and we rode (courtesy of Mr. Lao, our taxi driver) to the little hotel that ShuPing had booked for us, (yes, seperate rooms). We passed Tienemin Square along the way and many other eye-opening things. We ate some dinner at a little barbeque stand just a block away. We talked and got used to each other as we'd never actually met face to face before. There was magic and the smell of cooking meat in the air. Hole in the wall doesn't adequately describe the place, but it was romantic, none the less. I was relieved to find an actual toilet and fascinated by the shower in the bathroom. Some of you will already know about the showers, but it wasn't in a shower stall, but just on the wall. I couldn't get over that everything in the bathroom was going to get wet when I showered. Next day, Mr. Lao took us to the Great Wall. We rode the little creepers to the top of the hill. For anyone who hasn't been, just imagine being pulled up the side of a hill on one of those creeper things you use to crawl under your car on. I thought it was a little kiddie ride, I didn't know it was taking us to the entrance of the Great Wall. I proved that I'm a good man, we climbed the steep, uneven steps to the top of the hill. I kept trying to decide if I should try to catch anyone who fell down above me or get out of the way. Fortunately no one fell. What a great view. We visited a wax museum of Chinese Imperial history. I had my first experience of eating a real meal in a real Chinese restaurant. We spent the rest of the day and the next running errands. I was just fascinated with everything and my beautiful girl. We took a train to QiQiHaer that afternoon. I got to experience the discomfort of a Chinese train ride. Her family met us at the station the next morning. QiQiHaer was as cold as advertised. We rode to Mama's house and I got to meet my new Mama. Her home is one of the poor little shacks that are packed together in certain little neighborhoods. No inside bathroom and no running hot water. I simply took in the whole experience and tried to remember who was who in my new family. We had a couple meals that day. I found out that people in this part of the country really like to drink. Er Guo (2nd brother) brought out a big jug of homebrew with lots of different things foating in it. I wasn't sure, so I asked for only a little. I shot that in one gulp during the first toast and was instructed to sip it. I had bought gifts of Jack Daniels for my brothers in law and they thought I should drink that instead. Seeing the need to make an impression on my new brothers, I got pretty toasted with them. Er Guo decided that he'd drink the Jack with me. So after finishing his First full glass of home brew, he had a couple more glasses with me. At some point, I felt th need to find the facilities, so Er Guo took me by the hand and we went out to the out house, where again I was amazed to find four rectangular holes in the concrete and I wondered how anyone could use these holes. Er Guo soon felt the pain of mixing his liquer and passed out, only to wake up later to hurl his cookies. I, on the other hand, just felt drunk and sat around in a stupor the rest of the night. Part 2 coming soon.

My son is 10, will be 11 when we go. He's really excited about going, even knowing the few negatives (smog, smoking and toilets). He's even motivated to learn some Mandarin.

I plan to go again in June. I'll be taking my son this time.

Hahahah. I warned you! <Mr. T>I pity the foo</Mr. T> who hopes to jump into a soft bed after a long trans-pacific flight. We prefer the term "Afro-American snot". Ahh, the wonders of high-sulfer diesel. <Cheech Marin>Emissions controls? We don't need no steenkin emissions controls!</Cheech Marin> Also, keep in mind that you should always carry your own TP with you, as there is no guarantee you will find any in a public WC, should you muster the intestinal fortitude to lighten your load. There is nothing (legal) like your first trip to China; The keen sense of "We are SO not in Kansas anymore!" Congratulations. Welcome to the visa-wait purgatory. Thanks Moon, I'll try to remember to be more politically correct next time I discuss snot. I got lucky, my wife was always quick to whip out the TP or napkin and, even though they thought I was crazy, I always had my moist, anti-bacterial towelettes. Not so effective for wiping your butt in a WC, but perfect before and after a greasy finger-food meal. (My sister-in-law wouldn't take the ones I offered her, later I found out that she thought they had something to do with sex. American condom anyone? ) No, Kansas was definitely in another world, but KFC was always just around the corner. There were definitely more KFCs than McDonald's, but both were plentiful, even in QiQiHaer. I was often amused by the parallels and contradictions. FuMart, not WalMart. The Chinese version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?". MTV on one channel and soap operas set in Imperial China on another. Dancing in a private room to techno music on the kareoke machine with the family. Santas with Asian eyes, Christmas trees and Merry Christmas signs everywhere with no pretext of a religious event. Crumbling brick shacks with no bathrooms or hot water in the middle of a technologically advanced city. It was often a surreal experience. I'm still trying to re-adjust to my pre-China life. I know it will never happen, I'm no longer the same person.

Welcome to the Candle Doug. I just returned from China where I was getting married. In fact, I went to Harbin for the marriage certificate. I found the people of northern China to be very warm and friendly. I hope you can get your stuff approved through the gauntlet quickly, I started about a month and a half before my trip and still had to have my mother UPS the documents to me in QiQiHaer. Remember, you must have the Affadavit of Single Status notorized by a local notary, then by the Secretary of State in California and then by the US Sec of State before you take it to the Chinese consulate in San Fran. Fortunately for you, you can hand deliver t to them. Good luck with your preparations. We had no problem with the marriage certificate office. We dropped off our paperwork in the morning and went back at 1:30 to get our little red books. I hope it goes as smoothly for you.

Thanks guys, it's good to be back and I'm ready to get right back into the mix. Things I was told about, but couldn't grasp until I'd experienced them... hard beds - What the hell?!!!!! I've slept on softer floors. And not just some of the beds or most of the beds, but ALL of the beds are hard. WCs - I'm supposed to what? Gotta pee?, no problem. Gotta sh**? Big problem, I think I'll wait for a toilet. (Held it for 2 and a half days, but I managed to avoid the squatting position.) Taxi Drivers - A constant source of amusement for me. I only saw one accident the whole time I was there. Spitting - I can't say that I blame anyone for spitting so much after seeing the amount of air pollution. Blow your nose at the end of the day and see all the black snot, you'll want to spit too. Family - How can you prepare to be loved and accepted so quickly and completely? My new family is wonderful. Even if I did make the mistake of calling third sister by her given name.

Hey Y'all! Just wanted to give a big "Howdy" to everyone now that I'm back from my first trip to China. I had a great time and spent some precious time with my new wife. I also discovered a whole new family that I love very much, they welcomed me in and treated me like I belonged there. One thing I can say about north China is that the people seem to be as warm and kind as the weather is cold, and it is very cold this time of year. Everything went off perfectly, right down to the white Christmas. The only problem I had with the whole thing was leaving my lovely wife. I'll be updating my avatar real soon and hopefully putting pics up on the web for any who are interested. It's good to be back, but now the long wait begins.

You know... The condom thing would have been good to know about 12 hours ago when I still had the ability to get some. I did throw an old one in the suitcase. Are those things reusable? I'm all packed, finishing up my last shift before taking off. I found out that Fed Ex sent my documents today, unfortunately a day late. Still I think the original plan will work. We should have them middle of next week. I appreciate all the well wishes and good advice. Now it's time to put it all together. I'll post an update when I can.

Clifford, you are very astute. No, ShuPing and I have never met. The pic is a cut and paste job. When I come back, it'll be the real deal. I've got candy, buying cigarettes and some booze. I've got Timberline rip offs, but maybe a little grass sticking out of them would do the trick. Cross your fingers for me that the faxes work, otherwise it could be a long trip. ShuPing insists that we can not sleep together until we are married, the wedding is set for Dec 24, though we had hoped to get the license on the 16th or 17th. May lee LaoPo! Got it! Thanks for all the advice guys.

Shaved and trimmed but I'm keeping the beard. Too ugly without it.

Hmmmm, hell I'll try anything once. Thanks Mick.

I'm leaving on a jetplane! I've only got a few loose ends to wrap up and I'll be ready to go. Unfortunately I won't be getting my notarized, verified, authenticated marriage documents from Chicago before I leave. Not to worry too much though, Mom will fax them to ShuPing's sister and then UPS the originals. It will only be a problem if Harbin tells us the fax is not good enough, then we'll have to wait to get the official marriage license until we're headed back to Beijing. Yes, I do have them translated and I'll take that with me. I've gotten quite a few extremely useful tips from you guys in the past few weeks. Xie xie ni. Wetnaps for the bathroom, long johns and snow boots for the cold, presents for the in-laws. I'm leaving the hotel arrangements to ShuPing, buying a translator when I get there and getting cash instead of using credit cards. Does anyone have any last minute advice before I go?

Good! I'm bringing caramels too.

I hope you have better experiences with American popcorn than Diana and I have had. I couldn't stand all that sweet popcorn stuff while I was in China, until finally during the second year there we found the Metro store, with real American popcorn. She didn't like it then and she doesn't like it now either. Must be the fact that she has had her tastebuds desensitized by all that stuff they call popcorn over there. I was going to bring a tin of carmel popcorn and peanuts as a gift for ShuPing's mom, do you mean they have it over there, or at least a representation of it? And she may not like what I bring?

ROFLMAO!!!!! That'll do it for sure.

I heard from ShuPing about the Passport. Here is the quote from her e-mail. So it sounds like she thinks she can get it, she just needs to go to QiQiHar. No problem, we'll be there the end of next week. Why all the concern about a passport for ShuPing? Of course I just want her to be able to visit while we go through the process. However, I was just reading a post, from someone who said, if they had to do it all over again, they would bring their spouse over on a tourist visa and then apply for her to stay and not go back. I realize this is probably not the most legitimate way to get through the system, possibly even illeagal, so I would never do it, but if someone did do it, what would be the implications? How would they go about it? Not for me, just curious.

Perhaps you can show her the scene in the movie "Something About Mary" where the old lady lets her little dog like her face and then he licks his privates. Just to show her that you're not the only one who does it.

I'm glad you caught that Eric, I was wondering where the comment was. Is that what they call "puppy love" Dave? Just don't get caught doing "doggie style". You'll be barking up the wrong tree for sure. Loved the story Dave, Thanks.

Where else but Candle can you watch someone's thingies grow?

Would the driver understand if I said, "Home James"? Boy I'd feel like George Jefferson with a chauffer. That would be cool, if I could afford it.