Danax

Even the liberal Dutch are banning traditional muslim dress in the name of security. And the more we all just go along with it, thinking it won't affect us, the closer we get to waking up one day and wondering what the heck happened to our freedom.

We have to be very careful not to give the government too much power because there's a fine line between a foreign "enemy combatant" and a citizen defined the same way. The fear of being held indefinitely based solely on the Government's suspicions is the ultimate form of terror; no one would dare speak out against them. I think that truly, Bush is trying very hard to implement as much of the "New World Order" as quickly as he can. This is just another small link in the chain that will eventually bind us all.

I think the correct answer is yes, we should point out any red flags that we might see. Love is definitely a cause of blindness. Even in Wally's wedding pic, it looks like she's pulling away from him. Body language is hard to fake, even for a "pro", so there will always be signals to save someone from disaster, if one's eyes remain open and thinking remains clear. It sounds like a title for a Country and Western song but Being In Love is a Bad Place to Be sometimes.

That's beyond scary Wally. I'm not too deep into this process yet but I had not yet considered the deeper ramifications of that document. If it just didn't work out but there was a sincere effort on her part, then it's understandable not to leave her destitute but if you've been played, then fight her with every ounce of strength you can find. I feel like fighting alongside you!

I would feel fortunate to have a wife who decided that on her own. It would tell me that perhaps she is feeling the inner need to purify herself, which is a very good sign, or at least, like you say, she just wants to eat healthier, which means she'll likely avoid unhealthy food and habits period, and that can't be bad. It will cost you more though, but if she really gets into it and has the time, she can buy organic bulk foods and veggies and not so much of the prepared and prepackaged stuff, which is very expensive. Example; I buy enough organic whole oats and bananas for 7 breakfasts (I eat the same thing for breakfast every day) and it costs me probably $3-$4 for the whole week.

Yuppers, we always have female dainties hanging about the bathroom. I have never seen the logic in washing them by hand and then hanging them in there. First, It takes water much hotter than the 105-110 temp that people can put their hands in to really kill all the germs-so they never really get them sterilized. More importantly, these delicate silky things are hanging around me when I uh, when I uh, uh, expel yesterdays meals. Now that has GOT TO BE unhealthy. I did, however, learn the hard way that TELLING wifey that she is wrong was not a good idea---ouchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Yet another lesson in cultural diversity learned the hard way!! Hey, it sounds like you're back in the house instead of the garage anyway.

Yes - 78 it is. I have the thermostat programmed for 78 when she's home alone, 75 when I'm home. Our "thermostat wars" consist of her setting the fan to "Auto", or me setting it to "On". I sweat at 78. You wife just ain't cheap enough. I come home to a cold house and she's got her coat on and a hot water bottle stuck inside. I kick the furnace on and it takes a couple hours to warm up to 72. My central AC broke 3 years ago and my central heat last year and I've yet to fix either. I've endured Houston's humid heat and mild winters with only a window unit in my bedroom and an antique space heater. I also love having my windows open. I love all of the money I've saved. My summer electric bill might hit $45 at times, where it used to top $300 and my winter gas bill was almost the same. I drive a 19 year old BMW, no AC. No car payments except some mechanic bills sometimes. I also save the plastic and paper bags for lots of things. I pick up old lumber and building materials tossed on the curb and store or reuse them. My house is furnished (except the bed) with mostly antiques that I either found in the street and rehabbed or were given to me, like my Eastlake sofa and chairs. I think cleanliness, order and harmony are great, although I've relaxed that living in my old house/construction zone. I got rid of all of my old clothes and now have 5 shirts, 3 t-shirts, 2 pairs of shoes and a jacket and sweatshirt. Less is more. This is all feeling right to me. I'm thinking I was Chinese in my last life.

Thank you all for the data. The qualities mentioned sound like good ones to me. Modesty, loyalty....I'm right there. The others I say to myself that I like, but have yet to actually take to heart myself, like thrift, cleanliness, doing as opposed to planning, being practical...........I guess this is where the training comes in

I know. I sort of cringed after posting it because I know they're all different, but I doubt that I'm the only one who's had these thoughts in the early stages. Oh, I forgot thriftiness. I like that one. Thanks for sharing that Robert. I'm also getting that these ladies don't tend to be high-maintenence types that want a walk-in closet just for their shoes and don't do windows, so to speak. Pruning trees is a good sign. I love that blend of practicality and thriftiness.

I think a lot of us went into our international relationships without much first-hand experience with Chinese women. So, if we continue with the relationship, we go from the ideas in our heads to what really is. Forgive my attempting to pigeon-hole Chinese ladies, but I'd like to express my current ideas on this subject and hear what you all think. The common traits I'm getting from CFL are; 1) Clean freaks. I like cleanliness too but am not a stickler about it. I envision my house eventually being like a Zen temple; orderly, pure, no clutter, few possessions, beautiful, giving off a feeling of peace. Really, this is what I love and am striving for. Slippers would be great too. In the meantime though, it is a long way from that. I've got fire ants nesting in my bathroom walls spilling dirt and themselves into the shower (ow!) and I often have a mouse roaming around at night because I find droppings. I can deal with these issues calmly and will take care of them for her sake, but I hope she can have a little patience because they are part of life in an antique house. Which leads me to #2. 2) Hot tempered. While cleanliness and order lead to a feeling of serenity, yelling and anger destroy the same. How can I tell ahead of time if I've picked a mop slapper? 3) Dominant personalities. Still not sure if this is a common trait or not. I guess my original idea was of a peaceful Asian woman drinking tea with me as my loyal partner able to calmly handle life's challenges together. 4) Loyal. I don't want all of this to sound negative, so I still have the notion that these ladies believe in fidelity and loyalty as ideals, not just a practical ideas based on security. 5) Practical. Not into flowery ideas of what could be, but rather interested in dealing with the here and now. Anyone else want to add to this? Again, I don't want to offend anyone and obviously we're dealing with individuals but culture and upbringing are definite factors in what makes us us. I'm just looking for more data.

I would guess that the romantic aspects in "love" marriages fade naturally in most cases anyway, and it ends up pretty much how you're describing. Besides just the basic arrangement points, what about compatibility in interests and personalility? I also would wonder how long a woman would stay in an arranged marriage in America (I'm not sure where you're from) once she becomes independent enough to work or, at least good enough with English to hook up with someone else who she might fall in love with. Women seem to need romance from time to time or they feel cheated. Your approach is very male. I think I understand where you're coming from and the post reads more cold and dry than it probably is.

True. Just because someone isn't interested in the standard religions or disciplines doesn't mean they're not questioning. I have read that the Chinese tend to do yoga and meditation to improve their health and beauty while the westerners tend to try to elevate their conciousness and attain psychic powers.

I meant that a woman who simply lived life from birth to death without investigating, or at least pondering and asking questions about the deeper meaning of life, would not be a good partner for me. And specifically having an interest in the so-called Eastern ideas would be a plus. So, I naturally turned to China and I'm finding less interest in such things than here in America. I had mentioned in letters and my profile that I believed the meaning of life was to advance spiritually and that I practiced meditation, yoga and qi gong. I also mentioned qi in one letter as being important to keep full and flowing. I also mentioned an acupuncturist that I was receiving treatments from. That's a lot of material to respond to, especially since I was obviously so interested in it, but, as I said, I got zero comments and it sort of baffled me. I will say though, that the lady I am writing has her subtle way of letting me know she's with me somewhat in this, as far as enjoying quiet, nature etc, which might be the Chinese "doing" version of being "spiritual". I like the idea of being reserved and I like the idea of being practical and doers. I am reserved myself but am not a very good doer so I would probably drive a Chinese woman crazy with my procrastination (INSERT MOP-SLAP EMOTICON HERE). I guess some of this understanding/misunderstanding of each other's ways is exactly what many here have mentioned as things to be prepared to deal with. Nice to have CFL to get a head start on this.

I understood your meaning there. I was reversing your comment because the only way I would consider myself lucky in that situation would be by being able to weed out any woman who would be offended to the point of not wanting to speak to me again because of mentioning that, although I never mentioned the sexual aspects, not because she decided to give me another chance by talking to me... Maybe there's a cultural trait here that I don't understand, but a purely "pragmatic" woman with zero interest in such things would not interest me as a potential wife. My surprise has simply been that so little interest or knowledge had been shown, but thanks to CFL mainly, I now understand the various reasons. Thanks for your response. Now I understand some of the defensive posts. I really hadn't considered or meant my comment as being a minor slam to the ladies here.

Why should I consider myself lucky if I get no response to any mention of Daoism? I never mentioned anything even hinting at sexual. If I had, would that've been inappropriate? Are saying that most Chinese people, having had their history erased, have no interest whatsoever in anything vaguely resembling religion, philosophy or ancient culture? If so, then yes, I do consider myself lucky to be finding this out now rather than later. I don't claim to understand "the Chinese" as the only Chinese people I've known are my acupuncturist and her husband, both of whom are very knowledgeable about the Daoist practices and philosophy. But, they're here in America.

I guess I'm not sure why this is the case ? You might have to come to the realization that sex does not play the prodominate, cerebral nor chi, role it does in your presumptious post. It's not the case. Don't take a comment like that so seriously. It's mostly information for men anyway, and, at risk of sounding "presumptuous" again, most people are not interested.

I think you're referring to "The Art of Love", by Hong Ying. I haven't read it but it sounds like some of those ideas are mentioned. The original practices are thousands of years old and the most often referred to ancient text is "Secrets of the Jade Bedroom", by Peng Tze. This information was usually kept secret until very recently, so that's another reason that most Chinese have no idea about such things. The most well known teacher is Mantak Chia. He's from Thailand but supposedly received his knowledge from a master in China. Sounds like our Chinese ladies have a little catching up to do.

This is exactly what I thought but didn't think about it until after I posted the topic, that is, about Mao destroying religion etc. And I also have heard about the Chinese hatred for the Japanese. Interesting though, that Zen originally came from China, and was called Chan, and the Japanese copied it. Of course, it originally probably all came from India. I am surprised though that, with so many Daoist temples still standing, interest hasn't grown in the ancient wisdom. I suspect it will in time. The interesting thing is that a lot of this knowledge will probably get passed back to China from the West as things continue to open up.

I'm not trying to get into anyone's private life here but I have been wondering if Chinese ladies, and men, are generally familiar with Daoist lovemaking practices and concepts. I know Tai Chi and Qi Gong are common there but when mentioning these things in my letters to my Chinese lady friend and when I had also mentioned this in my profile when I had one on an internet site, without any sexual references, I never received a single response or comment. I would think at least I would've received some comment as it would seem fairly uncommon for a westerner to have an interest in Chinese culture. I have to say I was somewhat disappointed as I half-hoped to find a woman who would be knowledgeable and interested in these matters. I've read hundreds of profiles of Chinese women and it is extremely rare to find any mention of meditation, yoga, or Daoist ideas. I suppose the average Chinese person engages in sex the same way the average American does; with the man orgasming freely, with the Daoist methods being limited to a small percentage of the population. I know the Falun Gong group has probably made a lot of people careful what they say over there so perhaps that's part of the reason. Or is it just an example of the "old ways of China" being more alive in the West than in the East?

Yes, I believe many men seek just that, whether they've thought about it like that or not. Anything short of that is not worth giving up one's single freedom, where the walls are silent, and can't swing mops. This is a higher type of relationship, one that can elevate both parties to something beyond each individual, an unspoken, understood, moment to moment supreme harmony and cooperation. Obviously, it takes two people that really get this idea for it to work. It's like dancing, and a major red-flag to me would be feeling a foot on mine, not in an "excuse my clumsy dancing" way, but rather a firm stomp. Liking the same music helps too.

I would have to say that 90+% of the women I've viewed from China online are not attractive physically to me. If I hadn't run across the lady that I'm communicating with now, I would've gone on my merry way, uninterested in the whole idea and remained single, although a lot of them seemed to be "traditional" and that vague idea is attractive to me, and evidently many others. So you're right about many American men being attracted to Asian ladies in general, the number of internet matchmaker sites dedicated to this phenomenon seems to prove that. And can we also state that the Asian ladies understand this attraction, and lap it up and take advantage of it? I'm not meaning to sound accusatory, women have always had an innate ability to be able to best utilize their assets. A Chinese woman, ordinary in her mind and to her peers in China, can be romanced and treated like a queen, which seems to be a nearly universal female desire, regardless of geography or culture, and also have the chance to emigrate. Not surprising that these pairings are popular. Would you say that Chinese women find Western men physically attractive? I would imagine so, as the same "exotic factor" would seem to likely work both ways. Could you be more specific as to what "expected them to become Chinese" means? Should I take up mah jong?