dstarsboy

Actually, its funny that you guys mention saying goodbye. That was awful too. She was at work and she kept saying "I work" so I thought she meant she was at work, so I was, like, "Um... ok, weirdo, duh, I know that." But about 20 minutes later I guess she meant that she needed to get back to work. I wish there was better things to say before you hang up. In American culture you don't just talk then say bye. You usually do a "Bye. See ya soon. You're nifty. Have fun at work." sort of stuff, but it felt so "unlike" goodbye when we're talking and it was. "No bus stop no far my home... ShenSai." (click). It just feels like something is left hanging out there. Of course, everyone else here probably has a more diverse vocabular and can do "American" goodbyes. Also, thanks for all the websites you posted and ideas on chat/translators/better phone etiquette. And Joanne, trust me, an hour on the phone with goofy kids like me and my SO will probably slowly degrade your mental health, and I think your health is worth more than 30 bucks an hour.

So there I was... playing a video game on my computer... enjoying my Sunday night... then I looked at the time. Great Scott! I have to call my SO for the first time! So I called her and boy was it weird! I'll let ya know, I wasn't entirely unprepared. I have done around 40 Pimsleur 30 minute Mandarin lessons (half way through CD 2) and I actually thought I was hot stuff, breezing through whenever the audio guy asked for me to translate a sentence. I even wrote down, like, 20 phrases in Mandarin I could use on the phone. Then she picked up the other line, said,"Hi" and I started spittin' my game. I must tell you that she understood about 20% of the Mandarin I was speaking! It was rediculous, I had no idea I was that bad! Surprisingly, she spoke English a little and was able to say some things, but most of the conversation exchanged between the two of us consisted of "I don't understand" said in about 20 different ways. It was 30 minutes of frustration, but I must tell you I was excited and had fun and loved every minute of it. Even though she doesn't sound very happy about it, I convinced her that we should try talking once a week to get better and for the love of god, I hope we get better!

That's a great suggestion. I didn't really think of that. I always thought I would take the "eh, close enough" or "I think I know what she's saying so I'll just go with that" approach, but i can see how this will lead them down the wrong path.

Someone should post a list of everyone who's signed up so far. Do you need to have a local SO to be invited?

I also heard Americans say "sorry" more than Chinese.

I take it you're in Beijing right now? Go for it, man! I haven't thought of how I would ask my wife, I think I would basically just get down on one knee and pull out the right and hold it up to her and try not to ruin the mood with my god-awful Mandain. I don't think much more needs to be said, unless this method of proposing is not correct for Chinese culture!?

Wow, incredibly accurate! i even clicked on "additional information" about my home and it knew the stories, sq footage, year built, car spaces, etc. The price seems dead on too, thanks!

Trust me, it could be worse. My SO loves China and is very skeptical about moving to the US and actually wants me to move to Chongqing. Of course, if I married her, I would do definitely have to consider this reality. Consider yourself lucky that your SO is very happy among her people, she loves you and you still enjoy the benefits of living in the USA. I wouldn't worry too much about you turning Chinese, if you're willing to give up everything and move to make her happy, then a little cultural shake-up for the same reason shouldn't be overwhelming.

And the pay is probably poopy too.

Well that's kind of a bummer that you don't use it anymore, do you feel you have gotten your money's worth from it? I'm just kinda worried about spending 400 bucks on something I'm only going to use on a few trips to China. 189272[/snapback] Kids these days?? You would be spending the money to enable you to communicate with the woman you hope to spend your life with. You'll use it when you need it and for as long as you need it. You want to put a price on that? 189483[/snapback] You bring up a mighty fine point, sir...

Well that's kind of a bummer that you don't use it anymore, do you feel you have gotten your money's worth from it? I'm just kinda worried about spending 400 bucks on something I'm only going to use on a few trips to China.

Good stuff. -Holds bag of questionsable stuff- "Oregan cleans another dirty mouth. No matter what." (tell me I'm not the only one who knows this commercial?)

Nice! Thanks for the link, I think I may just bite the bullet and get the 399.00 one though. I have to look at it as a long term solution, really, I mean, does everyone still use their translater every once in a while even on their 5th or 6th encounter with their SO or even sometimes at home months or maybe years after their SO moves in? Here's to hoping the price goes down in a few months.

I have no idea what it is, but I've seen quite a few posts about how its not very popular with the westerners.

It not nearly as long as you said it was. 188759[/snapback] funny, that's what my ex-wife said on our first date........ 188761[/snapback] I guess that explains why she's now your "ex".

Can anyone suggest a good audio translation software for the desktop computer? I'm thinking of something I can type an English sentence into and push a button and it speaks the sentence in Mandarin, then I can just try to repeat this over the phone. Is there software like that, hopefully that works fairly well?

Yep, seems like I definitely have to get this girl a computer for the messenger/webcam thing.

Every girl from China I have communicated with has told me that they learned some English in middle school but they lose it, like, the day after graduation since they have no one to practice with.

Thanks guys, you rock! You just saved me a bunch of money!

My SO and I have our first phone date! The 20th, its her birthday so we're gonna chat it up. GULP! I've been writing down Mandarin phrases I could possibly use, but this is assuming I know how to say them right... and assuming I understand her reply. I think this will be brief, maybe 15 minutes per call to start then eventually getting into the 6 hour marathons like you guys do and I think I'll take a suggestion someone gave me and just speak English very slowly and cut out the extra words. Anyways, after saying all that, the package my cable company gives me for Asian calling is $7.95 per month (includes 60 minutes) and .12 cents per minute after those 60 are used up. Is this price good, bad or ugleh? If its not good, what kind of price do you get and how?

Wow, this is a great concern. This never even crossed my mind, but you bring up a good point, especially if she's a night owl and your town has no night life. Who knows, she may like it just the way it is, so you may have nothing to worry about. I think you're definitely on the right track with the trips to some major cities here and there. I just pray to God that my SO has some sort of hobby when she gets here (like gardening?) because even in a city as big as Phoenix, anyone can get bored during the first year "transition/work on English before getting a job" phase, so you're not alone. Hopefully some people who have actually gone through your big/small town experience can post something more helpful.

Groovy idea! But she does not own a computer, though. Maybe something I can help her with once I visit, though. Haha, That made me laugh, about working through the same conversation. Still, I can see that it's better than nothing. Guess its just a slow process and with patience, all will go well.

This is all excellent advice. I'm glad you guys come here often, even the ones that already have their wives living with them and still come onto these forums to help out the lost causes like me. I've taken notes on everything you all mentioned, but I had another question along the same topic. For the ones of you who's SO did not speak any English.. at what point in the relationship did you feel it was right to start regular phone communication? Before or after you first met? and how the heck did you do it? From what I can imagine, it would take quite a long time to say sentences to one another while trying to look up translations and I assume that it gets pretty expensive and probably even more frustrating than in person.

I plan on visiting my SO in September (in Chongqong), however, she does not understand English and I do not understand Mandarin. I am trying to learn Mandarin when I can (audio CDs) and she tries to do the same, but she is usually very busy with her work so I still feel that by the time I arrive we still wont be able to communicate well at all. I have read some threads about visits to China with their SO's where their SO spoke English relatively well, but what if they don't speak well at all? Can you recommend some tips for easing communication? Such as, should I bring a pencil and paper everywhere to "Pictionary" up some words I can't say? Should I draw shapes and things with hand gestures while I talk to help her know what I mean (I heard it is uncustomary to talk with your hands)? Can you recommend some relatively inexpensive technology or small books that could help? Thanks in advance.

dstarsboy, I (we) can hardly wait for you to make your first visit to China. Hopefully, it's Nanning or someplace similar. Just know that if you don't go with a very open mind, you will be lost and quickly swallowed up by the seeming chaos. Or, you will learn to embrace and, maybe, love the disorder of your new love's country. Most of us miss it, when we return to our quite, orderly and serene lives. 187398[/snapback] I can't wait as well, I have plans to go in September so I'm browsing these forums quite a bit to ease some culture shock. I was mainly asking because of course, I don't want to be taken advantage of (aka. hail a cab 4 times only to have someone different push me out of the way 4 times to get into it). Especially in front of my lady. Haha.