Angry SO

[nygatl15]

My SO got very angry with me last night. It really shocked me. She was very angry over a pretty mild subject.

 

I never saw her like that and it scared the heck out of me. Is it that chinese when they get angry, they get very "loud"? I didn't really respond to her.

 

I have to say it shook me up. The mild manners and disposition is a main reason, i'm attracted to the Asian woman... am I over reacting?? It really shook my confidence in us. Are my expectations too high?

[rogerluli]

Kind of hard for someone outside your relationship to comment on this one meaningfully. My SO has never gotten mad like that and very much dislikes anyone who gets angry easily. But there are important cultural differences between us and our SOs. What you thought something very minor must have seemed very major to her.

[BuffaloPaul]

I had a couple of episodes like that. The first time it was very trivial - she thought I brought too much stuff to China. Her explanation is that it is "normal" for her to react very emotionally. However, I have noticed she doesn't seem to hold grudges at all and within a very short time forgets completely about it. It scared me for a while but I have written it off to her generally passionate nature. She pretty much shows all her feelings and doesn't withhold anything. So, I am always pretty clear about her feelings.

[Dan R]

In my experience Chinese are excitable and can rant with the best of them. I have not been the object of it but have heard it many times. Afterwards when things are settled it is fine again. I have no misgivings that my So is meek, she is stubborn and wont hesitate to stick up for me. We have both wondered what our first fight will be about, hasn't happened yet. She said she has been asking a friend who is married to an American how they argue. I told her I don't hit but when I asked if she does, she said maybe. . I think arguing style is a real concern for the SOs because they hear so much about violence in America.

[BuffaloPaul]

.  I think arguing style is a real concern for the SOs because they hear so much about violence in America.

Yes, we discussed this over and over for about a year. She was convinced that many American men beat their wives. I think that this is the downside of 001. It's good for a lot of things, but sometimes, it has been a long ordeal to convince her that the girls on 001 are wrong about some things.

[boba]

I saw Meixiang go off a couple of times with people that she thought were trying to take advantage of me. It is interesting that they both were woman. I also saw her get pretty upset with her daughter. I agree that Meixiang seems to be very passionate in every thing she does.

 

I also found it interesting when she was in volved in conversations with her family that the disscussion would often take on a higher tone. Then after a little while everyone would lighten up and laughter would filter in.

 

I really enjoyed watching her barther the price of something such as a bunch of grapes or half a duck. I alwasy found this very intesting.

 

Boba and Meixiang

[rogerluli]

She pretty much shows all her feelings and doesn't withhold anything.

This is EXACTLY the way my SO is also Paul. She tells me she cannot hide anything which is great. My ex would let things simmer, sometimes for years, and then confront me all at once with "Do you remember when you wronged me that time?"... Who me ? What time ? When? Where? Guys don't remember that stuff...

[rogerluli]

We have both wondered what our first fight will be about, hasn't happened yet. She said she has been asking a friend who is married to an American how they argue.  I told her I don't hit but when I asked if she does, she said maybe.  .  I think arguing style is a real concern for the SOs because they hear so much about violence in America.

My SO and I have agreed to never argue. After being married twice before I have figured it out guys. There are two parts to this...

 

First - Pick the right woman...

 

Second - Do everything she tells you to...

 

 

Any questions ?

[BuffaloPaul]

She pretty much shows all her feelings and doesn't withhold anything.

This is EXACTLY the way my SO is also Paul. She tells me she cannot hide anything which is great. My ex would let things simmer, sometimes for years, and then confront me all at once with "Do you remember when you wronged me that time?"... Who me ? What time ? When? Where? Guys don't remember that stuff...

Yeah, had the same experience with my ex. Even 20 years after my "infractions" she was still throwing them in my face. With Jenny, she has not once brought up anything in the past.

 

Funny too about loud discussions. The first time I was in China I thought everyone was arguing constantly. Jenny would get in a discussion with a cab driver and I thought they were fighting, then she would explain the topic and I could only laugh.

[maiyademama]

The mild manners and disposition is a main reason, i'm attracted to the Asian woman...

Women are women.

[rogerluli]

.  I think arguing style is a real concern for the SOs because they hear so much about violence in America.

Yes, we discussed this over and over for about a year. She was convinced that many American men beat their wives. I think that this is the downside of 001. It's good for a lot of things, but sometimes, it has been a long ordeal to convince her that the girls on 001 are wrong about some things.

This comment about American men beating their wives I find surprising. I never heard that before. My SO and the little sisters said American men were well thought of for treating their wives much better than Chinese men do...

[Dan R]

It comes from all the news agency and hollywood free publicity given to promote American society.

[rogerluli]

The mild manners and disposition is a main reason, i'm attracted to the Asian woman...

Women are women.

Wait a minute here... Are you suggesting that all our problems with women won't magically go away just because we now have an asian SO?

 

So I explained everything there is to know about men a while back and it only took 3 paragraphs.Can you explain women to us in say 3 pages ?

[tonado]

PMS.

[rogerluli]

PMS.

Wow it only took Tony 3 letters...

 

Good thing wifey isn't around or he would be looking at 3 mop slaps...