Missing Wife

[natrigon]

Thanks for your observations. I am waiting for a reply from my wife, to my offer to go back to China. It was not my decision to not meet her parents, it was hers and I am surprised that she did not anticipate the strong reaction of her Mother to this.

 

I guess "reading between the lines" about my situation, I am not as optimistic as some. There just seems to be to many "bottom line is money

" issues that keep reappearing. I think that is the basis of the objection to my age. But, I will do what  I can to salvage things.

Just my 2 cents:

 

I understand a little about the Chinese culture and think it is very important to meet her family. I would not expect my wife (in America, China or anywhere) to marry me, never meet her family and then leave her country. Like others I would suggest going to China and spending some time with whole family. You might be suprised (like I was) and find whole new meaningful relationships with them.

 

Even though you are suprised that she did not anticipate her families strong reaction I am suprised that you did not either. Try and put yourself in the mothers shoes. He daughter is married to an older man, from another country who has no desire to even meet the family and then will take the daughter far away never to be seen again. The mother is most likely afraid!

 

I am not trying to be a jerk, just trying to share some of my experience, hope it helps and hope you at least get to China and meet them once.

 

Louis

[NicolaNSam]

I gotta go with Louis on this one,

 

If your going to go through with this go and meet the parents and promise them that you will return with your wife at least once a year so they can see her again. I'm sure their just worried about that

[skibum]

Ray, why? That seems sad as I now count my in-laws among my best friends. I cannot picture a reason not to meet.

[Robert S.]

Sometimes they are too shy about not speaking English, or not being rich, or being sick and elderly.

[NicolaNSam]

Ray,

 

That must be so hard for your wife. I'm very sorry to hear her father abandoning her. My sister's husband left a few years ago and her baby was alone with her mother. She now found someone and the baby is growing up and loves her step father. Things work out for the better sometimes. I would rather have a father that is not around than one that is a hell raiser.