How to overcome the fear of driving on the road?

[Catherineli]

Hi Ronny! Nice you come on here! I'm learnin' something from ya again! Your story is hilarious! "Adrenaline" can be great but it may sometimes arouse trouble. Three questions for ya: (1) how come there was an air burst outside of your helicopter window? What's air burst? (2) "You had the ship but he wouldn't let go." What do you mean "ship"? That poor guy got hit by a long screwdriver, hahahahahah (3) Were you guys hurt by the flying shards?

I guess other women can drive. I will do too!

Good luck to everyone!

[Randy W]

But you never know!

 

http://shanghaiist.com/attachments/shang_shanghaiist/Lamborghini-Benz-1.jpg

[tsap seui]

Hi Ronny! Nice you come on here! I'm learnin' something from ya again! Your story is hilarious! "Adrenaline" can be great but it may sometimes arouse trouble. Three questions for ya: (1) how come there was an air burst outside of your helicopter window? What's air burst? (2) "You had the ship but he wouldn't let go." What do you mean "ship"? That poor guy got hit by a long screwdriver, hahahahahah (3) Were you guys hurt by the flying shards?

I guess other women can drive. I will do too!

Good luck to everyone!

Catherine, you will overcome your fear....just take your time and have some good "self talks". I don't feel that I could ever overcome my fear of riding with new drivers, especially teaching them. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach, even for my own family members. Luckily it was something I could pay others to do for me....LOL

 

Yes, that was funny about the new pilot freezing up on us when the airburst, maybe 20 feet in front of us, went off unexpectedly. It was quite loud and the shrapnel from the explosion almost knocked out both windscreens and it did knock out the chin bubble by my feet, and shredded part of the instrument panel in front of us. Other than slivers of razor sharp plexiglas from the windscreen embedding themselves in our skin which felt like 100 bee stings, we were very lucky that none of the metal fragments from the rocket propelled grenade or what ever it was missed us. The front of the chopper and instrument panel was a total mess but we were very okay, in my book....everything was working and nobody was screaming....it was a good flight....LOL We weren't hurt, we both had our face shields down when it happened (mine got cracked) and we just had to have a flight surgeon pick out slivers of plexiglas. The new guy pilot got himself put in for a purple heart out of the deal and he tried to get me to do the same. Heck, it was nothing, a little blood and the pain like many bee stings. I would have been embarrassed to death to be put in for a purple heart for something so minor, so I told them I didn't want anything for something that minor. I never was into medals anyhow...too many officers in the rear wrote up phony medals for each other....they meant nothing to me. I had my flight wings, that was the only thing medal wise that was important to me, let the "heroes" pin that stuff on their chests, it didn't mean nuttin' to me.

 

That fellow, the other pilot almost got us killed. I know it bothers him to this day as I saw him at a Vietnam Helicopter Pilot's Association gathering in Washington, DC a few years back. He could hardly look me in the face. I never gave any crap about it, even back then. It only bothered me that I could not get back control of the helicopter from his superhuman strength. It was crazy. He couldn't even hear me screaming in his ear that "I have control of the ship". That smart door gunner's quick action is what saved us.

 

The story is, we were flying with 3 other troop carrying helicopters in a very tight combat formation, loaded with troops to insert into what turned out to be an ambush of a landing zone. The North Vietnamese soldiers started shooting at us a we flew as one chopper and were about 100 feet over the trees. This airburst was from one of their rocket propelled grenades (I am guessing) and something happened to it's mechanism and it exploded prematurely. As a 20 year old aircraft commander I was teaching this new (maybe 26 or 27 year old) pilot how to fly in a tight formation. I was right on my controls as he flew as we were thinking this area was safe. When the airburst went off, he got the death grip on his controls and he flew us out of formation and right beneath a gunship that was flying right beside us. I could not get back control, and I was pulling on my controls with all of my might. He froze up, lost focus and concentration and was going to fly us and our troops right into the ground.

 

But, my southern talkin' friend, he didn't fly us into the dadgum ground...and now we can sit in our computer chairs and laugh about it. Much much worse happened than that almost boring simple lil' story, that was one of the funny ones.

 

In aviation everything is talked of in nautical terms, as you are actually flying in an ocean of air, so the term "ship" was often used for your airplane, jet, or helicopter.

 

You are a very intelligent woman, this is one of those "mind over matter" things. You will do well. Have a happy Christmas.

 

Ronny

[Catherineli]

HI Ronny, guess what? Your funny story becomes a very good gift for me at this Christmas Eve. Today is our Christmas Eve but it's our working day. I'll have to go out to deal with some jobs. I'll come back to talk to you more. My family friend Bill used to fly to the Vietnam too as a pilot. I'm always fascinated with his military life. One of the training programs was to cast you in a wild mountain or some place without food or water. Then you have to find a way to survive the hardships. Or after you're arrested alive by the enemy, how can you go through different tests, etc. I'm curious with such things.

Ronny, you're a hero!! Merry Christmas to you! Yajie

[Catherineli]

Thank you for Randy's picture here. It's never wrong to be cautious with driving. To fear also means to be conscious. Maybe fear is a blessing to everyone!

[Randy W]

HI Ronny, guess what? Your funny story becomes a very good gift for me at this Christmas Eve. Today is our Christmas Eve but it's our working day. I'll have to go out to deal with some jobs. I'll come back to talk to you more. My family friend Bill used to fly to the Vietnam too as a pilot. I'm always fascinated with his military life. One of the training programs was to cast you in a wild mountain or some place without food or water. Then you have to find a way to survive the hardships. Or after you're arrested alive by the enemy, how can you go through different tests, etc. I'm curious with such things.

Ronny, you're a hero!! Merry Christmas to you! Yajie

 

 

Are you working tomorrow - on Christmas Day?

[Catherineli]

No, Randy, I don't teach tomorrow. But I remember I was teaching six hours at school on Dec 25, 2011. I was feeling unfair. The self-pity attacked me from time to time as I stood in front of the students. The lovely students became a downer. Their smiles were noisy and their talking was intolerable. I kept watching the time in the hope of leaving the class for my cozy home for Christmas. In the end when I felt the time being stagnated, I heard the bell ring. It was signaling that the class was over. I quickly dismissed them with my brief good-bye. To my surprise, the students suddenly stood up cheering “Merry Christmas” to me and they held a beautifully wrapped large apple in front of me. All at once, I was ashamed of myself and the Christmas atmosphere of love crept into every part of my body and warmed my heart deeply. An apple means peace and joy in Chinese culture.

Oh, sharing apples, I'd like to make a post about apples lol

 

Peace and joy to everyone ! Merry Christmas!

[Doug]

I agree with what has been said so far. Now let me get out of line, hehe...

 

First thing I do with kids is have them stir the car sitting next to me. I will do this, if needed, when Fen gets here. Anyway, I can then put them in more and more situations and faster speed but be able to control things as needed. Get a pillow for the console of the car or take the console out; or get some kind of car or pickup with a bench seat so you sit next to your husband and stir the car. See if you can work out something like this with your husband and just stir the car a lot, as he sits in the drivers seat and works the pedals, as you sit next to him. He will put you in situations to build your confidence. He can have his hand semi wrapped on the stirring wheel but not touching it, but is there for emergencies in a tight spot. As you get better he will drive faster and tell you to do this or that quicker and quicker. It is a BIG confidence builder. I am 100% against the USA government method of learning to drive these days. It is better for family to teach you. It is the only way to come across all the situations you will encounter.

 

For some reason I thought you lived in China. Where are you located? Up in Northern states with possibility of snow this year, or where it never snows or ices up? Well, AFTER YOU FEEL CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO DO THIS, become that race driver you fear!!!! If you have the chance of some bad weather, go to a large empty parking lot and avoid the light polls, but practice spinning the car around. My Dad and I did this, as I grew up, the night before we had to go to work, so we were used to ice again. Learn how to throw the car around a little stronger each time until you learn how it will slide at this speed or that, and how severe you crank the wheel. If a pull handle emergency brake is in your car, I doubt you have, it is great for spinning a car around. If front wheel drive it is great to learn how to get out of a spin by turning hard the way you want to go and hitting the gas. And if front wheel drive try doing the spinning in reverse. If rear wheel drive, then you do about the opposite, although the gas can be your friend there as well, sometimes. Make a goal to become a stunt river and figure a new set of tires or front end alignments in the process, but this will help and not hurt the car, hahaha just kidding. Ok I said too much, but another thing to do, like when I was 10, is get in a parking lot that is for sure empty with a blind area to shoot through and avoid the walls and trees and pot holes. Do this over and over and you will get faster and faster until you fly over the holes. Smooth ride

Another thing to do at some point is take a performance driving class at a local road race track. I require kids I raise to learn how to throw a car around and control it. Then some of that fear is lessoned. If I had another set of kids I would pay for this and require it before they get their drivers license. Just my opinions here.

Edited December 24, 2014 by Doug (see edit history)

[Catherineli]

Thank you Doug for taking the time to help me here! I read your words over and over. They do help me! Sit by my teacher and stir the car;practice driving at an empty parking lot with many pot holes, trees or more obstacles. It's very practical to take a driving class for sure. Xiexie Doug! I'm living in the north of China but never touched the wheel. I'll move to the USA next couple of months. Have a happy Christmas!!

[Randy W]

That word STIR would be STEER (spelled correctly). Just sayin'. I hate to take any of Doug's own special flavor out of it.

[danb]

Catherine, Hello. I am not sure but didn't you mentioned before that your son taught you how to drive? How many hours have you actually spend driving behind the wheel? I suspect that you haven't driven that many hours, perhaps a total of 20 or less hours. Your fear is natural. You are just inexperience. In the US we have been in cars all our lives , sitting next to Pops watching him do everything. We noticed him using the turn signals, the windshieldwipers, the defroster, the gear shifter for the transmission, steering the car,and braking for just about everything. We saw how he reacted to everything. To dogs in road and kids playing near the road and old ladies driving too slow and hot rodders zooming along. We saw all this before we were 16. Most have suggested that you just need to go out and do it...carefully. I must agree with them. I have two other suggestions. Practicing driving in a large parking such as mall or a local high school on days that they are empty. Another place to practice when you are still in China is on your Campus. Find friends, students, or coworkers to drive with you on campus. Practice , practice, and practice. Your confidence will gradually build as you gain experience. Good Luck. Danb

[Catherineli]

Hello Danb, What you shared about your childhood watching your dad driving suggests the difference between our two countries. I was brought up watching my father fixing his bicycle before he put us on his bike rail. My son was supervising me driving for two weeks. We were driving for two hours each day in the summer of 2013. Then I passed the road test without knowing why. I guess I'm alright driving by myself as long as there're no other cars on the street. I should say I'm not afraid of driving but fear the traffic. I'll go out very much early, ahead of the schedule, in order to avoid the rush hour until I'll be able to wave naturally on the street.

Yes, after driving more, I'll be better at it. I passed the test only one day before I came back to China. Men drive better than women. I guess I can't drive well also because I'm a woman, a short old woman. lol

have a good day!

Catherine

[Doug]

That word STIR would be STEER (spelled correctly). Just sayin'. I hate to take any of Doug's own special flavor out of it.

Yes Catherine, only do what I am saying in the USA then. My gosh you have PLENTY to stir (steer stear, wearing your pance with a pancake on your head, depending) around in China. But the good thing about China is that everyone is looking out for you. Just drive as much as possible. There are many drivers just like you in China, no problem. Just practice staying between the lines, in your lane, as much as possible. Many times you cannot do that in China because everyone else is out of their lane, but it is getting better than years ago. Gosh yes just take your time and get experience. All that other junk I wrote was for the USA only. Just wait on any of that until your here. Have fun in the meantime.

[Randy W]

 

That word STIR would be STEER (spelled correctly). Just sayin'. I hate to take any of Doug's own special flavor out of it.

Yes Catherine, only do what I am saying in the USA then. My gosh you have PLENTY to stir (steer stear, wearing your pance with a pancake on your head, depending) around in China. But the good thing about China is that everyone is looking out for you. Just drive as much as possible. There are many drivers just like you in China, no problem. Just practice staying between the lines, in your lane, as much as possible. Many times you cannot do that in China because everyone else is out of their lane, but it is getting better than years ago. Gosh yes just take your time and get experience. All that other junk I wrote was for the USA only. Just wait on any of that until your here. Have fun in the meantime.

 

 

 

Just adding emphasis to a couple of things Doug said. It seems to me that drivers in China are MUCH more aware of the traffic around them than their U.S. counterparts. Just maintain that same awareness yourself.

[warpedbored]

My wife had a driver's licence in China for 10 years before coming here. She only needed to learn the differences in laws and get used to obeying all of the rules of the road. She says driving is much easier here because drivers are more orderly.