What do you like or not like with life in America?

[Dennis143]

Please, I don't mean this to be a question about the differences, good or bad, between America and China.

 

I've asked this question several times to my Chinese ESL students and they've, mostly, been reluctant to answer thinking (I guess) that they did not want to show disrespect to their mother country. And, I really don't care to learn what is better or not about living in China vs. living here... I know it is difficult not to compare... especially the social life you had in China. I understand.

 

I'm simply curious if our Chinese lady members would consider sharing with us the good and the bad they find living here.

[Doug]

I know you want the ladies to respond, but I did ask this question of a Chinese lady next to me on the airplane going to Shanghai a couple of trips ago. She went to college in America and never expected to stay there. She met a white guy and they married and she stayed of course. I think she said she was a citizen now. She has 2 teenage daughters, and was in her 40s. I hope I don't get censored, but this is her words not mine.

 

Good:

She learned I liked China so much, so I asked her why she liked America. She said "blue", "blue sky". We talked a little about pollution and how she never saw a blue sky in Shanghai growing up, and now she just loves the blue sky in America. (I've often thought how pollution per capita is not the issue, so much as how much smoke is belching in an area. I've paid attention to the sky in every city I visit there now.)

 

Bad:

Now this was a flight out of San Francisco, her home town. Of course I mentioned a little trouble in getting my wife's visa. I never said a thing about politics, but she said Democrat Communist", as if one and the same to her and not in a good way either, three times in that conversation. I never let her know my leaning. But she never said Democrat without communist connected with it. (Interesting from her point of view and life history I thought. Please don't make this a political debate!)

Edited November 7, 2014 by Randy W
No offense was taken (see edit history)

[Catherineli]

Different people have different answer. I don't think I married an American man but I married English langauge. I agree with everyone who shares the positive things about America. But I like English much better than Chinese. In English there are more vivid expressions such as spooning, bushy-haired, and as busy as a mosquitor in a colony of nudists, to name a few. It's hard to find such funny sayings in Chinese. Spooning makes me think of many same Chinese spoons being laid out together next to each other. lol It's cool, as cool as a cucumber!

American men are more like the English idioms in many ways. They know how to make life more colorful and enjoyable. They go fishing, barbeque, golf -------. They know how to treat women in a romantic way. Chinese people's life is more like studying and studying plus eating and sleeping for traditional people. Present young ones in China may indulge in some unhealthy things and become wild. Of course I should never make a general statement towards any cultures. There are always exceptions and negative side to each culture. There are also dull Americanmen and nice Chinese men in the world.

I never say anything on 001 but I learned something from there. Some Chinese women made a conclusion that American men are not "stable". Some Chinese women don't feel safe with them. They share that some American men say "I love you", then the next day, they may say, "I want to divorce you". "They change faces as quickly as turning a page within one book" according to 001, a forum in Chinese. I'm curious now to see how you guys respond to these women's remark.

No matter what kind of life, I make a conclusion that we have to trust God with faith. We humans are all vulnerable to life in some way after all.

[Dennis143]

Different people have different answer. I don't think I married an American man but I married English langauge. I agree with everyone who shares the positive things about America. But I like English much better than Chinese. In English there are more vivid expressions such as spooning, bushy-haired, and as busy as a mosquitor in a colony of nudists, to name a few. It's hard to find such funny sayings in Chinese. Spooning makes me think of many same Chinese spoons being laid out together next to each other. lol It's cool, as cool as a cucumber!

American men are more like the English idioms in many ways. They know how to make life more colorful and enjoyable. They go fishing, barbeque, golf -------. They know how to treat women in a romantic way. Chinese people's life is more like studying and studying plus eating and sleeping for traditional people. Present young ones in China may indulge in some unhealthy things and become wild. Of course I should never make a general statement towards any cultures. There are always exceptions and negative side to each culture. There are also dull Americanmen and nice Chinese men in the world.

I never say anything on 001 but I learned something from there. Some Chinese women made a conclusion that American men are not "stable". Some Chinese women don't feel safe with them. They share that some American men say "I love you", then the next day, they may say, "I want to divorce you". "They change faces as quickly as turning a page within one book" according to 001, a forum in Chinese. I'm curious now to see how you guys respond to these women's remark.

No matter what kind of life, I make a conclusion that we have to trust God with faith. We humans are all vulnerable to life in some way after all.

My dear friend, Yajie, er Catherine. I simply asked what you liked or didn't like about living in America, but you decide to open a whole different can of worms.

 

OK, I will respond to your questioning about American men (in BOLD type above)...

 

Let's face it. Most, if not all, of us American men chose to seek a Chinese wife as an alternative after having failed with American women. Sure, I suppose, many of us seem fickle in that going in we were never fully aware of all the cultural differences we would face and then suddenly run to the hills when we realize how different and daunting these differences are especially when comparing why we couldn't endure an American wife and now faced with even greater challenges with a Chinese wife. Bùyào zhǎo jièkǒu

 

I think there's a thin line with many of us where we fall madly in love with this new, exotic person and then find out this precieved docile Asian woman of our dreams is actually quite strong and demanding. Some of us can stand, accept, appreciate and endure. Some others cannot.

 

You know as well as all of us that people are people and everyone is different... no culture can be easily put in a box.

Edited November 7, 2014 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[Catherineli]

Hi Dennis, I can't answer any questions about what I like in and what I don't like in America as I've not started the American life yet. I was sharing other people's opinion. but I like this topic. One of the good things with Internet is that we can be "truthful", which means we can't share everything if face to face talking about what we don't like. People tend to be social and pleasing lol

Thank you for being honest with me!

[tsap seui]

 

Different people have different answer. I don't think I married an American man but I married English langauge. I agree with everyone who shares the positive things about America. But I like English much better than Chinese. In English there are more vivid expressions such as spooning, bushy-haired, and as busy as a mosquitor in a colony of nudists, to name a few. It's hard to find such funny sayings in Chinese. Spooning makes me think of many same Chinese spoons being laid out together next to each other. lol It's cool, as cool as a cucumber!

American men are more like the English idioms in many ways. They know how to make life more colorful and enjoyable. They go fishing, barbeque, golf -------. They know how to treat women in a romantic way. Chinese people's life is more like studying and studying plus eating and sleeping for traditional people. Present young ones in China may indulge in some unhealthy things and become wild. Of course I should never make a general statement towards any cultures. There are always exceptions and negative side to each culture. There are also dull Americanmen and nice Chinese men in the world.

I never say anything on 001 but I learned something from there. Some Chinese women made a conclusion that American men are not "stable". Some Chinese women don't feel safe with them. They share that some American men say "I love you", then the next day, they may say, "I want to divorce you". "They change faces as quickly as turning a page within one book" according to 001, a forum in Chinese. I'm curious now to see how you guys respond to these women's remark.

No matter what kind of life, I make a conclusion that we have to trust God with faith. We humans are all vulnerable to life in some way after all.

My dear friend, Yajie, er Catherine. I simply asked what you liked or didn't like about living in America, but you decide to open a whole different can of worms.

 

OK, I will respond to your questioning about American men (in BOLD type above)...

 

Let's face it. Most, if not all, of us American men chose to seek a Chinese wife as an alternative after having failed with American women. Sure, I suppose, many of us seem fickle in that going in we were never fully aware of all the cultural differences we would face and then suddenly run to the hills when we realize how different and daunting these differences are especially when comparing why we couldn't endure an American wife and now faced with even greater challenges with a Chinese wife. Bùyào zhǎo jièkǒu

 

I think there's a thin line with many of us where we fall madly in love with this new, exotic person and then find out this precieved docile Asian woman of our dreams is actually quite strong and demanding. Some of us can stand, accept, appreciate and endure. Some others cannot.

 

You know as well as all of us that people are people and everyone is different... no culture can be easily put in a box.

 

 

 

Wow!!!!!!!!!....."Most, if not all, of us American men chose to seek a Chinese wife as an alternative after having failed with American women. "

 

I can only speak for myself here but, Shirley you jest with a bold all encompassing statement like that. That was the last thing (that I was a failure with American women) when I sent out a introductory email to a woman on a Chinese website...actually it was on AmericanSingles.com. Heck, while there were completely no matrimony plans or even such thoughts between any of us, I was dating 3 different American women when I boarded the plane to Beijing that first time. And I certainly wasn't looking for some boring "docile" woman, or looking at Chinese women as docile demure creatures who would answer my very beck and call. Not even knowing a Chinese woman I had more respect for them than that sort of train of thought. If I was looking for something like that I'd have gotten myself a puppy, fer Christsakes. Good grief, Bubba!!!!!

 

I'll let others speak for themselves but that is way too inclusive of a statement. Not trying to diss you in particular on this line of thought Dennis but please, speak for yourself if you will, my good man, jest don't include this white boy in a statement like that. I'm sure other American males from Candle may have a word to say on this.

 

For what it's worth, on my 3rd trip to see Wenyan, as we were talking openly and honestly and discussing our lives with each other, trying to get to know each other as well as possible, Wenyan, with her signature mischievous smile on her face made the statement "Many Chinese people think American man go to China to meet woman because he is no lucky with American woman." To be sure, she was dead serious, this was something seriously on her mind as she awaited my comment to that one...it most certainly would have been a deal breaker for her and she would have been damn right to have dumped me on the spot had my answer given her an inkling that I was in that sorry club. I quickly flat out told her the truth...that "I was actively dating 3 American women when I left for China to meet you". Rather it would hurt her feelings or not, I told her the truth.

 

You should have seen the extremely visual look of relief on her face when she saw I wasn't in China with her because I was some guy down on his luck with American women and was looking for easy pickings or scraping the bottom of the barrel or some such demeaning sort of action with her (and Chinese women in general for that matter). She laughed heartily and told me "Good"..."thank you for being very honest with me".."I VERY no seek together with a man who no lucky with American woman and think go China to seek easy China woman".

 

Wenyan, like most Chinese women (I would think) demand, and damn well should get much more respect than that sort of debasing horseshit from an American man. Who wants a "has been" as their partner in life...certainly not Chinese women. In my book on my view of life, any dumb assed American man who looks down on Chinese women with such sorry disrespect deserves to get scammed and dumped after they come to America....at the least have a sorry miserable life. Chinese women are NOT PUPPYS, or, the end of the line for a partner in life.

 

It grips my ass to see Chinese even remotely thought of in such lowly terms. GRRRR!!!! I certainly never had such a thought cross my mind when I went over to China. Where the thought of Chinese women to be thought of as docile all serving type women ever came from, I don't know. I hear junk like that from time to time and while I know the folks who say such rubbish just don't know any better, I usually tell them, "Shirley, you jest...this ain't the Twilight Zone."

 

To step down off my Ritz cracker box, I could never make it with a docile answer my beck and call with no thoughts of her own woman....of any culture. Thank God Wenyan is a brutally and bluntly honest about her feelings woman...one who (like me) looks for her partner to be her equal, and even more. A partner who should be respected to the fullest. I thrive on this sort of relationship. I respect my woman to no end.

 

I'll concede that maybe some American men's idea of the dream woman is docile, eager to please others...puppy like. I prefer cats, and self respecting women with lots of moxie.

 

tsap seui

[Joecy]

Different people have different answer. I don't think I married an American man but I married English langauge. I agree with everyone who shares the positive things about America. But I like English much better than Chinese. In English there are more vivid expressions such as spooning, bushy-haired, and as busy as a mosquitor in a colony of nudists, to name a few. It's hard to find such funny sayings in Chinese. Spooning makes me think of many same Chinese spoons being laid out together next to each other. lol It's cool, as cool as a cucumber!

 

Catherine, you are so passionate about English, you are very lucky to know what you like, and do it as a profession.

I enjoyed the difference of the two language too! Very fun to compare.

 

I enjoy noticing the difference!

This is also something I like about US. Such a melting pot ---- different ethnic, color of skin, culture, language... people respect difference and learn from each other. Maybe this is why the America is leading in innovation?

 

Being different is not a good thing in China.

If you have tattoo and piercing, you must be with the gangsters, or will end up there.

If you have too many question, the teacher will think you're not respecting(authority), you are a trouble kid.

Edited November 7, 2014 by Joecy (see edit history)

[RubyA]

From my own experience living in both China and America, what I like about living in America:

First of all, I live in the Southern part of America, I really enjoy the warm weather (I come from Northern China), a lot of trees and grass.

Second, the pace of lifestyle in where I live is slow, I can take my time and enjoy my life.

 

Third, I enjoy what I do for a living here, it's not stressful at all.

 

Fourth, I enjoy living in a house that I can afford, some apartments in China are more expensive than the houses in America, and they are tiny, I don't think I can afford one on my own in China.

 

Fifth, I can afford buying and owning a car without a loan ( of course it is a used car, haha, the important thing is I am stress free), if I am in China, I doubt that I can afford a car in my 20s with my own income, it seems cars are more expensive in China too.

 

Sixth, Living in America, I don't see people compare with each other as much as in China (again, stress free), I don't have a brand new car, but I do have an vehicle to take me to places that I need to go, and that's all it matters. I wish there are buses in where I live, but there is not since it is a small town.

 

As to what I don't like about the life in America, it is probably that my family are not here with me. I do get homesick once in a while. But I do have a loving husband, sweet mother-in-law, and other family members on my husband's side.

 

I guess I am very easy to be satisfied with my life, and I like to live my life stress free.

Not sure if I answered your questions or not, Dennis.

 

Ruby

Edited November 7, 2014 by RubyA (see edit history)

[Dennis143]

.

Not sure if I answered your questions or not, Dennis.

 

Ruby

Those were great answers, Ruby. Thank you for that insightful post. It is wonderful to know how comfortable and stress free your life is now. I don't think anyone wants stress in our lives.

 

I guess it was wishful thinking on my part to not expect you ladies to make comparisons between your mother country and here.

[Doug]

From 2 kids I have heard.

 

Good:

Less homework.

 

 

Bad:

None to Homesick, depends on the kid.