Joecy Posted September 28, 2014 Report Share Posted September 28, 2014 My parents are here visiting for 2 months. Now they were touring Yellow Stone Park with a local tourist group that speaks both Chinese and English. I'm on a break from my parents. This is their 2nd time in the US. Last year when they first visit, there was a "debate" on how long they should stay. My dad's first assumption was they would stay for 6 months, which were most of the other Chinese parents did. I told my husband, he looked a little surprised. He said he had never stay with his parents for more than 1 month after he was 18. We agreed to give 2 months a try. The funny thing was, after the first 2 weeks in the US, both my parents said they wanted to go back sooner, 2 months was too long! They were not very comfortable living in a environment where they didn't understand the language, they had no friend, and people seemed not respecting seniors as they did in China... On the other hand, my in-laws heard me talking about my parent's 2-month visit, they were like, "I envy your parents get to stay with you for 2 months!" My senior American lady friend would said, "wow, how nice! You and your daughter must be very happy!" I told them I was stressed out trying to find activities for them to do, fearing they would be bored to death in this little town. They said, "Don't worry, they just wanted to be around with their children and grandchildren." I sense that visiting grown up children for 2 months is not very common in the US culture. How long does your wife's parent visit? What do they usually do in the US? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis143 Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 IMO it's a whole different situation having their daughter move to the other side of the world probably forever vs. having our American parents who live with us in the US come and stay for months at a time here in our home. Now if the situation were reversed, I certainly doubt that my parents would want to come stay with us for a lengthy visit in China. THAT I can guarantee you. Talk about a fish out of water... Let's face it. As we age, we don't like to be taken out of our comfort zone. We like to be where things are familiar, where there are few surprises, where we feel like we have some control. It appears that, if they miss you so much, the best choice is for you to return for more frequent visits. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randy W Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 Yes, I would think that a return visit from you and/or your husband would be most appropriate for you. In the U.S., we can travel easily to visit our parents, and usually like to see other family members who may be visiting at the same time. Holiday gatherings are very common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubyA Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) My mom will visit me and my husband in US for the first time in December, I am not sure how she will like it being here. But she plans on staying for 6 months. I am very excited for her coming, and pray for the best. Edited September 29, 2014 by RubyA (see edit history) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuehan123 Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 I know of parents who came for a visit and stayed forever. I know of parents who came for a visit and left a week later. I expect it is much easier to get parents to stay in downtown LA's China town than it is in Nowhere, USA. Immediate family relations and customs for USA families versus Chinese family relations and customs are culturally as far apart as the two countries. The key is to find a compromise that everyone will accept. If they can come to USA, at all, you are way, way ahead of many other wives. If you can go home often, you are indeed very, very lucky. If your husband goes with you, you really won the lottery. So, do both as often as you are able, as suggested above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnoblett Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 This is different from living in a parent's home, this is parents visiting from overseas and living at your place, it is not a permanent condition, if they were immigrating permanently this would be a different thing and I would be looking for a place for them to live, or a home that has an "in-law apartment" My mum-in-law has been visiting since June and will be returning to China before her allowed stay runs out. No issue with her staying in the second bedroom other than the language barrier. I guess it is a matter of choice and how much can be tolerated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joecy Posted September 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2014 Let me guess, DenniseIMO= in law mother oh stay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis143 Posted September 30, 2014 Report Share Posted September 30, 2014 (edited) Let me guess, DenniseIMO= in law mother oh stay? Close enough, Joe. Close enough. OK... truth... IMO = In My Opinion Edited September 30, 2014 by Dennis143 (see edit history) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now