What to prepare to welcome your Chinese loved one

[Joecy]

Congrats on getting the visa approved!! The Immigration journey on the China end could be painful and long. Ours took 18 months. But I had no idea my husband had been working like a weaver bird, getting our new home ready for me during that time, making sure this new home in the foreign land didn't look too foreign. I had pictured many times how I would enter our new home. When I saw a pair of white & soft slipper at the door, me and my daughter and my parents' pictures on the wall, together with picture of the family members from his side, I knew this was home!

 

 

Here's what my husband did I really appreciated:

• Picture of me on the wall, in our room
• My cloths, shoes already in the closet (some of my stuff was shipped earlier)
• Picture of my daughter on the wall, in her room, and a very soft fluffy stuff animal later became her favorite one
• Slippers from China hotel (My habit was to take off outdoor shoes at the door, change into slippers for indoor)
• A shoe rack at the door (I was surprised to see some American family wear their outdoor shoes indoor, even on carpet!)
• Chopsticks
• A giant Chinese wok + microwave on top of the stove with vent built in
• A place to air dry cloth (He found two standing shelf made by plastic and placed them in the basement. Later, those shelves evolved into a long pole held by his bike holder on the wall. Exactly how I would air dry cloth in China)
• Chinese grocery store: first place I went after arriving. Once there, I felt at home in China again, brought soy sauce and tofu right away! My daughter found her favorite drink from China. The price was crazy though...

 

Several things I was craving for during the first half year:

• Wet mop
• Chinese style slipper (with the bottom part make by bamboo, super comfy to wear in the summer, didn't like flip flop!)
• Chinese veggie!!!! Bok Troy!
• Reading materials in simplified Chinese.

 

Hope these might help to make your Chinese loved one feel at home.

 

 

 

 

[Thomas Promise]

Here is an ancient post on what to do before your loved one arrives. It is very cute and funny.

 

I've got a 'short list' of things to do before my hunny-bunny arrives:

 

 

1) 'sanitize' my computer files to get rid of all those http's and news groups that could possibly be 'misunderstood'
2) get the magazines out from under the matress
3) Wash the cat
4) Return the beer-empties to the recycle-center to pay for the cat bath
5) Clean the house and especially the kitchen -- put all the knives away.
6) Collect the loose change in the sofa from my drinking budies to pay for the house-cleaner
7) wash the laundry
8) pay the bills first, so I have water to wash the laundry
9) make a seperate account on the computer for Yan (so I don't have to continue to repeat step #1 again
10) Take out the trash
11) Pay the bills so the trash will be picked up
12) Wash the car (refer to step #8)
13) clean the top of everything
14) Clean the office -- oh WTF, skip this step
15) Get new sheets, etc for the bed, and new towels for the bathroom
16) Put all my past journals in a safe place (refer to step #5)
17) Have new unused toothbrush ready in the bathroom
18) Clean the house again
19) get rid of all the things in the kitchen whose expiration date is pre-2000
20) empty the dressers to make room for Yans clothes (throwing away all my SI swimsuit mags -- ouch)
21) empty the closets to make room for Yans clothes (throwing away all my Maxim mags -- ouch)
22) Visit Home depo to buy new garbage cans (refer to steps #2, 10, 19, 20, 21)
23) fill the bird and squirl feeders, and remove the ken and barbie swimsuit figurines from the bird bath
24) remove the rubber duckie and sailboats from the bathtub
25) Clean the car -- especially checking the crevises for old condom wrappers (refer to step #5)
26) buy fresh flowers for the kitchen table
27) Have yans pictures all over the house
28) Take down that poster of Britney covering the hole in the wall from my beer-buddy (see Step #6) with a nifty Chinese wall hanging
29) Make sure the bathroom door lock works (for her, not me)
30) Move enough beer out of the fridge to make room for something besides a pizza
31) check the back of the fridge, removing anything that resembles a golf-fairway (See step #22)
32) Make sure that the TV doesn't present the Playboy Channel when she turns it on for the first time.
33) pre-pay the chinese take-out place (including tips) for 5-days of take-out so we can come out of the bedroom when we want.
34) make sure no articles of female clothing still remain in the house (unless they are her size )
35) Visit the chinese grocery store to stock up on dumplings, etc. ("It's what I always eat, dear! )
36) Clean the house again
37) Get a job
38) Pay off my tab at the local well
39) make sure the auto-timed thermostat will drop to freezing after 1AM
40) Take the plastic fish out of the fish tank and put real ones in
42) Put tin foil all around the stove to make her feel at home
43) Put plastic covers on the remotes and the diningroom chairs, and cover the table with a silly piece of vinyl
44) put the CLEAN dishes in the dish washer
45) put small toys on the car dash and hang one of those 'thingies' from the mirror
46) Clean the Cheetos dust off the A/V equipment (I can't believe you guys missed this one )
46) Clean UNDER everything including the toilet seat (thanks Don) (See step #13)
47) Review my VCR & DVD collection--trash anything beyond an R rating (see step #22) (Thanks WB)
48) Have a long talk with my cat explaining it cant sleep on my crotch anymore
49) Buy a catbed (see step #48)
50) Clean BEHIND everything (see step #25)
51) check the medicine chest and pantry for 'personal toiltries' that a man would never use (See steps #5 & 25)
52) Check the attic (see steps #51 & 34)
53) Throw out the butt-can on the porch (told her I quit) (see step #25)
54) Quit smoking (see step #53)
55) Loose 10 lbs (see step #30)
56) Accept that I am loosing my bachlorhood
57) Accept that the house will not be mine anymore (see step #56)
58) Accept that I can't watch late-nite TV anymore (see step #56)
59) Check my underbriefs, throwing out those with skidmarks
60) Buy new underbriefs (see step #59)
61) Buy a matching clock for her side of the bed
62) Accept that I can't sleep corner-to-corner in the bed anymore (see steps 56 & 48)
63) Change the airfilters in the furnace (see steps #36 & 39)
64) Install some mood-lighting throughout the house (sitting in the dark watching late-nite TV is no longer acceptable) (See steps #56, 58, & 32)
65) Buy a silk camasole & tap-pants for her (unopened) and place under her pillow (see steps #34 & 39)
66) Get a new 'return address' envelope stamp that reads 'michael and yan ...'
67) Get some fragrance candles for the empty candel-sticks (see steps #64 & 26) (thanks squeak)
68) get some mood-CD's for late nites (see step #67)
69) Clean my wok, rice-steamer, etc. (thanks squeak)
70) Practice my chinese cooking recipes (so I don't look so stupid) (see step #69)
71) Clean the carpet -- check the corners for any hairs that are not long and black (thanks squeak)
72) visit the city hall and check for marriage license details (thanks squeak)
73) Clean the 10-years of dust off the venetian blinds (have no drapes) (thanks squeak)
74) Go through old photo albums and remove all pictures of old girlfriends.
75) Have house-slippers by the door for Yans arrival (thanks Marty!)
76) Take the blankets to the cleaners to remove the cathair (see step #48)
77) Get extra keys made to the house
78) Remove anything from the freezer that resembles Mt. Everest and allow it to thaw (to make room for the frozen dumplings -- see step# 35)
79) GO TO THE FREEKIN CHINESE GROCERY STORE AND STOCK UP ON NON-AMERICAN FOOD (I can't believe everyone, including myself, missed this one) (Thanks Yan).
80) Get cash (several hundred $) in my pocket--nothing is more embarrising than being caught 'empty'
81) Clean the house!
82) Clean the house!!
83) Clean the house!!!
84) Make reservations at a good restaurant in ChinaTown for when she arrives in Boston
85) Get directions to the airport and double check her flight schedule
86) Take all that trash out to the street
87) Before going to the airport, take a shower and brush my teeth...twice
88) Make sure my fly is up

[Greg.D.]

....

A giant Chinese wok + microwave on top of the stove with vent built in

......

The wok is lonely without a big metal spoon/utensil for stirring and moving the food around.

 

After I found the Chinese grocery, I realized it was the best place to buy a non-coated wok with the tool I mentioned above - plus tongs for grabbing things in the wok; plus metal bowls and other bowls for holding food before and after cooking - I mean, guys, if you are in China, watch the cooks cook and make note of the things they use the most. I also got an excellent (made in Viet Nam)

cleaver with a rosewood handle for about $8. Cutting boards, of course, peanut oil, chiles, etc etc - but probably leave those choices to the cook.

 

At Big5 sporting goods store I got a butane-fueled stove for about $20-25 that is used for hot-pot on the table. Hot-pot calls for ladles. Small bowls for dipping sauces, these things will be at a good Asian grocery. So, that's my hardware suggestions ....

 

Greg

 

p.s. I sort of cured the wok in the oven first to burn off the industrial oil but also to try to bake on some cooking oil. I treat cast-iron that way - but my girlfriend believes in washing the wok after use - so, maybe I am wrong about keeping a wok in ready condition. I would love to hear your suggestions, Joecy

[dnoblett]

Here is an ancient post on what to do before your loved one arrives. It is very cute and funny.

 

I've got a 'short list' of things to do before my hunny-bunny arrives:

 

 

1) 'sanitize' my computer files to get rid of all those http's and news groups that could possibly be 'misunderstood'

.....

Thanks for saving that one, I remember The Don had posted that one long ago, glad it was not lost when he purged his posts.

[tsap seui]

My wife used a wok in our home in China. By far, her favorite cooking utensil she uses now is a pressure cooker I bought her, she loves the thing, and so do I, the food is great and as she says "very quick".

 

tsap seui

[Doug]

Thomas especially #13, which includes the tip top of the round bar/rod where clothes are hung in the closet.

[Joecy]

 

Cutting boards, of course, peanut oil, chiles, etc etc - but probably leave those choices to the cook.

 

At Big5 sporting goods store I got a butane-fueled stove for about $20-25 that is used for hot-pot on the table. Hot-pot calls for ladles. Small bowls for dipping sauces, these things will be at a good Asian grocery. So, that's my hardware suggestions ....

 

Greg

 

p.s. I sort of cured the wok in the oven first to burn off the industrial oil but also to try to bake on some cooking oil. I treat cast-iron that way - but my girlfriend believes in washing the wok after use - so, maybe I am wrong about keeping a wok in ready condition. I would love to hear your suggestions, Joecy

 

Hi Greg, I'm impressed! Your girl friend is very luck!

Sorry for my late response, road trip visiting my in-laws, a very intense Grandparents' week with all English. No chance to speak or cook Chinese, my head is about to explode.

 

I had the same habit of washing the wok with the kind of brush made by bamboo stick. I don't do this any more after realizing stainless steel wok use less oil, produce less smoke and easier to clean. But the first half year I was in love with the big wok and the brush! Chinese in large cities probably don't use this kind of brush any more. When I found the bamboo brush in a Chinese grocery store, I decided to go extreme , anything that's rural Chinese or old fashion will be my choice!

 

The wok+tongs+utensil did make the strange western kitchen looks much better! My husband said he loves to hear the "klung klung klung" sound from the stir fry. I felt the kitchen was the only place where I had my full confidence.

 

http://www.tigersandstrawberries.com/wp/wp-content/scrubbing.jpg

To answer your question, I believe it's best to oil coat the wok after wash, my husband would do the same. And I love what you said about "leave the choice to the cook". You've got all its needed! --- Stay out of the way, let her cook her way!

[Joecy]

My wife used a wok in our home in China. By far, her favorite cooking utensil she uses now is a pressure cooker I bought her, she loves the thing, and so do I, the food is great and as she says "very quick".

 

tsap seui

tsap seui,

That's the advanced cooking for me, you are lucky!

[Joecy]

Here is an ancient post on what to do before your loved one arrives. It is very cute and funny.

 

I've got a 'short list' of things to do before my hunny-bunny arrives:

 

65) Buy a silk camasole & tap-pants for her (unopened) and place under her pillow (see steps #34 & 39)

69) Clean my wok, rice-steamer, etc. (thanks squeak)

70) Practice my chinese cooking recipes (so I don't look so stupid) (see step #69)

79) GO TO THE FREEKIN CHINESE GROCERY STORE AND STOCK UP ON NON-AMERICAN FOOD (I can't believe everyone, including myself, missed this one) (Thanks Yan).

84) Make reservations at a good restaurant in ChinaTown for when she arrives in Boston

 

Hi Thomas, Thanks for digging out this super list!

65) is such a nice touch! I had no idea what is camasole & tap-pants before.

Very western style but very romantic~ be prepared to see her big smile!

[Joecy]

Also, if you have children from the first marriage, who never met your loved one before, it is very very important to get both the children and your loved one prepared:

Tell her:

- Things you love about your kids

- Their personality (better if you know your kids well enough )

- Tell her you will make sure the kids respect her

- Your kids are not use to Chinese cooking (the authentic Chinese food your loved one cook is VERY DIFFERENT from the American Chinese food!) Sometimes, it's hard for the kids to try something that's out of their comfort zone. Let her be prepared that the kids might not like everything she cook, although you love ALL OF THEM

- It's not always 2 person world, sometimes it is more. That's why you cherish so much when the 2 people world arrives.

 

Tell your kids:

- Things you like about her

- That her English is not that good yet, it might take time before the kids can understand her.

- Be respectful, if they don't like her.

 

I realize how hard it is for the guys here to keep a balance while writing down all these.

Salute to all the dads!

[Scott@Hong]

Actually I would recommend not buying anything for the kitchen. Most things I purchased prior to my wifes arrival now sit in storage boxes in the basement.

"Stupid man thank you try to buy this, but this one not right"

 

You can clean like crazy, but that first few days when you go to work and she is home alone. Don't be surprised what you come home to. My 90lb 4ft nothing wife re-arranged the entire house, every piece of furniture by herself (still havent figured out how she did it) the first 2 days I was at work.

[Joecy]

Actually I would recommend not buying anything for the kitchen. Most things I purchased prior to my wifes arrival now sit in storage boxes in the basement.

"Stupid man thank you try to buy this, but this one not right"

 

You can clean like crazy, but that first few days when you go to work and she is home alone. Don't be surprised what you come home to. My 90lb 4ft nothing wife re-arranged the entire house, every piece of furniture by herself (still havent figured out how she did it) the first 2 days I was at work.

Hi Scott, I'm sure deep inside, she appreciated you tried.

 

Rearranging the house sounds fun! Women ALSO need to work on things, to feel they own it

We might be small in size, but we have muscle too!

Yes, working makes us happy

[amberjack1234]

 

Actually I would recommend not buying anything for the kitchen. Most things I purchased prior to my wifes arrival now sit in storage boxes in the basement.

"Stupid man thank you try to buy this, but this one not right"

 

You can clean like crazy, but that first few days when you go to work and she is home alone. Don't be surprised what you come home to. My 90lb 4ft nothing wife re-arranged the entire house, every piece of furniture by herself (still havent figured out how she did it) the first 2 days I was at work.

Hi Scott, I'm sure deep inside, she appreciated you tried.

 

Rearranging the house sounds fun! Women ALSO need to work on things, to feel they own it

We might be small in size, but we have muscle too!

Yes, working makes us happy

 

I know about the muscles. I have to watch what I say around the wife.

 

Larry

[warpedbored]

 

Here is an ancient post on what to do before your loved one arrives. It is very cute and funny.

 

I've got a 'short list' of things to do before my hunny-bunny arrives:

 

 

1) 'sanitize' my computer files to get rid of all those http's and news groups that could possibly be 'misunderstood'

.....

Thanks for saving that one, I remember The Don had posted that one long ago, glad it was not lost when he purged his posts.

 

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