PBS.org Independent Lens - Seeking Asian Female

[Dennis143]

Certainly there is not a single member on this site who behaved like this smiling predator. Hunt her, marry her, and teach her to be what you want her to be. No one, not a single one meets this description on this website.

That's right, Jesse. We're all so very different than that guy not to mention way cooler, better looking, more prepared, richer and a much better catch too. Gawd, isn't it wonderful to be us?

[Randy W]

 

Certainly there is not a single member on this site who behaved like this smiling predator. Hunt her, marry her, and teach her to be what you want her to be. No one, not a single one meets this description on this website.

That's right, Jesse. We're all so very different than that guy not to mention way cooler, better looking, more prepared, richer and a much better catch too. Gawd, isn't it wonderful to be us?

 

 

Sarcasm meets sarcasm. Ain't it wonderful ??!?

[Fu Lai]

Saw this interview and it sheds light on the director...

 

American Man, 60, Seeks Chinese Bride: Interview with director Debbie Lum

 

Lum's documentary Seeking Asian Female began as an exposé on American men with Asian fetishes -- and grew into a complicated love story about the challenges of cross-cultural marriage.

http://uschina.usc.edu/files/images/20121213203827seekingasianfemale.png

Steven and Sandy. Photo courtesy of Seeking Asian Female's Facebook page.

The idea behind Seeking Asian Female was born from documentarian Debbie Lum's life-long discomfort with "yellow fever," which refers to non-Asian men's fascination with Asian women. She decides to follow Steven, the stereotypical, clueless, if well-meaning, 60-year-old Caucasian man who is obsessed with finding a young Chinese wife. Through an internet search, he falls for a 30-year-old woman named Sandy and brings her over to the United States on a three-month engagement visa. In that span of time, Sandy will have to decide whether she wants to marry him -- or return home to China.

While Lum began hoping to make an objective fly-on-the-wall documentary, she found herself being pulled into the story. First off, the English-speaking Steven and Mandarin Chinese-speaking Sandy cannot actually communicate, so they inevitably rely on Lum to be their translator. Lum soon becomes Sandy's only confidante, calling her when she's upset or needs help, and at one point, Sandy confesses that if there wasn't a movie being made, she would have wanted Debbie to be her maid of honor. Lum's objectivity is tested again and again, and one day, she can't help but ask Steven point-blank: I understand what you get out of this arrangement, but what do you think she gets out of it?

Lum's debut documentary feature reveals two people from opposite worlds, both with questionable motives, yet both unexpectedly relatable in their struggle to make their relationship work. In addition to winning Grand Jury prizes at the San Diego Asian Film Festival (for Best Documentary Feature) and the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival (for Best Documentary Director), what's also impressive is Seeking Asian female's rock-star consultant lineup, which reads like a who's who of leading Asian American documentarians: consulting producers Stephane Wang-Breal (Wo Ai Ni Mommy) and Steven Okazaki (White Light, Black Rain), as well as story consultants S. Leo Chiang (A Village Called Versailles) and Spencer Nakasano (aka Don Bonus, Kelly Loves Tony, Refugee). The story is co-written by Lum, Tina Nguyen, and Amy Ferraris.

Asia Pacific Arts talks to Debbie Lum at the San Diego Asian Film Festival about her personal documentary that challenges our ideas about cross-cultural romance and unlikely lovers.

 

When did you realize you needed to be a character in the film?

 

Debbie Lum: I didn't realize I needed to be in the film until towards the end of the shooting. There were a number of things that happened. Obviously, I got totally drawn into their story, but even before that, Steven really had a hard time ignoring me behind the camera. And I realized that both Steven and Sandy were very challenging characters, and when you have two people who are very foreign to the audience, you need someone to help understand and guide the story.

Also, when it comes to the whole phenomenon of yellow fever and the objectification of Asian women, Asian America is left out of the equation. And it's a big issue, because they're often mistaking Asian American women for Asian women. That was what ultimately convinced me to put myself in it.

APA: How did you find Steven?

Debbie: Way, way back, I was writing a screenplay, and one of the characters in it was an Asiaphile. I've met these guys all my life, but I thought, maybe I don't know them as well as I thought I did. So I started contacting them on Craigslist to see if they would be willing to be interviewed for a screenplay I was writing. I brought my camera, and I realized there was really amazing material.

 

http://uschina.usc.edu/Files/images/201212/seekingasianfemale1.jpg

 

APA: In the documentary, Steven talks about how he was searching for an Asian wife for years, before he decided to narrow it down to specifically Chinese women. Was the fact that you [as a Chinese American] might be able to communicate and understand his future Chinese prospects one of the reasons you chose Steven as your subject?

Debbie: Actually, not at all. That was purely circumstantial, because I had been following three or four other men at the same time. One of the guys was a police officer from the Bay Area really into Vietnamese American women. There was a young wannabe rockstar in San Francisco that was really into Japanese women. And, there was a guy that liked all Asian women but he ended up with a Filipina woman, so it was a real diverse group.

The whole film was total unexpected chance. You couldn't have written it. I did always have an instinct that Steven was a fascinating chracter. He was always my favorite amongst the men I was following, but he was so crazy that I thought he was never going to find anyone, so the story wouldn't go anywhere. And then he ended up being the one. I was also expecting Sandy to be a different person.

 

http://uschina.usc.edu/Files/images/201212/seekingasianfemale3.jpg

 

APA: There's a scene in the documentary where you turn the camera on yourself, and you're talking to your husband about how bad you feel for Sandy, who you've just met. And he says, "Maybe they're in love."

Debbie: [laughs] He had to put up with so much through the making of the film. Production alone was crazy, and he's from Ireland, and before he met me, he had never heard of "yellow fever." He used to joke with me and say, "You've got some issues." But then he found out about this whole phenomenon, and he says sometimes now when he's with me, he feels kind of dirty. [laughs]

APA: Especially if people know that your wife is making a film about it!

[in Seeking Asian Female, Lum tells the viewer that one of the reasons Steven feels so comfortable confiding in her is because she has a Caucasian husband, so he assumes they have a lot in common -- a notion she finds disturbing.]

Debbie: People in San Francisco are much more uptight about the whole thing. It's different in SoCal. The further you get from Berkeley the less you feel it, but there's a lot fo backlash. And that's why I think a lot of the [Asiaphile] men were talking to me. A lot of them felt like they have been labeled.

You can't really generalize about men with yellow fever, but what I would say is that for a lot of them, in their mind, they are escaping what they conceive of as liberated feminist American women. Secondly, they do feel a sense of entitlement, in a way that, if you look at the other side of the equation, Asian women don't often feel the same entitlement to date white men. And because the men did feel entitled, they wanted to talk to me about it. They were so surprised that anyone might have an issue with it. They needed a soapbox to articulate this, and they weren't shy about it. Women get mad about that, I think, but maybe we should take that same attitude and feel entitled to dating white men as well.

APA: What do you think made you so fascinated with men with Asian fetishes? Because it's one thing to be curious about it, but it takes another level of fascination to make a film about it.

Debbie: It's always just been a real big issue with me. It's always bothered me. It's supposedly quite normal to have attention, and most people want to be the object of affection, but I always felt like it was problematic. Because I'm bit older, I grew up during a time when Asian Americans were at best invisible. You go from being invisible to being totally desired but for the wrong reasons. It's definitely a bit better now.

 

http://uschina.usc.edu/Files/images/201212/seekingasianfemale4.jpg

 

APA: What surprised you most about how your film's story turned out?

Debbie: The biggest surprise for me was actually Sandy, the person that he found. He totally lucked out to find this person who is quite an amazing character. Maybe that's a reflection on him, or it could have just been total luck. But I also realized I had so many of my own expectations about her. Here I am, thinking I can tell him, "This is how Asian women are. You don't know how Asian women are. I know how Asian women are." But I had my own stereotypes and expectations about her.

Steven really surprised me by the end, because I actually just thought he wast just somebody who enjoyed seraching. I didn't think he actually wanted to find somebody, but when he did find someone, he stepped up to the plate.

APA: Was Sandy open to being filmed for the documentary from the very beginning?

Debbie: She was. The first time I see her in the film is the first time I met her. Steven had told her about me -- and that I was going to be there filming.

APA: As someone who was coming to America for the first time to meet a potential husband, why do you think she was so open to having her story be public?

Debbie: She's a very unique person. She has a certain confidence, and she's very proud of who she is. She maybe represents the new generation of Chinese women who are quite media-savvy. She's a self-made woman. She grew up in one of the poorest regions in china, she didn't finish school or go to college, and she moved to the big city. That journey alone is worth a documentary.

I think she was just somebody who really knows what she wants. That said, it's not like this is an easy film for her. She is really quite courageous to have been part of it. Poeple, when they haven't seen the film, have a lot of preconceptions about who she is. They jump to a lot of conclusions that are frankly unfair. So that part isn't easy for her.

APA: How did Steven and Sandy react when saw the film for the first time?

Debbie: By the time we watched the film together, there were really no surprises for them. I was really nervous the first time I showed it to them, and they were nervous as well. But at the end, they said, "That's not as bad as I thought it would be!" [laughs]

[Dennis143]

 

 

Certainly there is not a single member on this site who behaved like this smiling predator. Hunt her, marry her, and teach her to be what you want her to be. No one, not a single one meets this description on this website.

That's right, Jesse. We're all so very different than that guy not to mention way cooler, better looking, more prepared, richer and a much better catch too. Gawd, isn't it wonderful to be us?

 

 

Sarcasm meets sarcasm. Ain't it wonderful ??!?

And, Randy is the coolest one of all.

[Randy W]

 

 

 

 

Sarcasm meets sarcasm. Ain't it wonderful ??!?

And, Randy is the coolest one of all.

 

 

That's a definite step up from, "Randy is queer for me."

[Randy W]

I found this comment to be very telling about the producer's attitude, almost like she doesn't consider herself "Asian". I don't think Steve makes this distinction.

 

Also, when it comes to the whole phenomenon of yellow fever and the objectification of Asian women, Asian America is left out of the equation. And it's a big issue, because they're often mistaking Asian American women for Asian women.

 

[Randy W]

. . . and this

 

Debbie: She's a very unique person. She has a certain confidence, and she's very proud of who she is. She maybe represents the new generation of Chinese women who are quite media-savvy. She's a self-made woman. She grew up in one of the poorest regions in china, she didn't finish school or go to college, and she moved to the big city. That journey alone is worth a documentary.

I think she was just somebody who really knows what she wants. That said, it's not like this is an easy film for her. She is really quite courageous to have been part of it. Poeple, when they haven't seen the film, have a lot of preconceptions about who she is. They jump to a lot of conclusions that are frankly unfair. So that part isn't easy for her.

 

[warpedbored]

 

I found this comment to be very telling about the producer's attitude, almost like she doesn't consider herself "Asian". I don't think Steve makes this distinction.

 

Also, when it comes to the whole phenomenon of yellow fever and the objectification of Asian women, Asian America is left out of the equation. And it's a big issue, because they're often mistaking Asian American women for Asian women.

 

 

Much as I dislike her preconceptions about men who marry Asian women she does have a point. Asian Americans more than any other minority in the US are perceived as being foreign even though they're as American as any of us. It's kind of a pet peeve of mine. I have a customer named David Oh who is of Korean decent, born and raised in the USA. I met another man of Korean decent who had the same last name and asked him if they are related. "What nationality is he?" the man asked. I told him "American". Later when I related the story to David he laughed and said "good answer!"

[tsap seui]

Yeah, the more it went on the more that director Debbie got on my nerves.

 

At least she made the comments about the Sandy girl being a self made woman. I love seeing people who believe in themselves know who they are, and pull themselves up from challenging situations.

 

So glad I didn't meet a woman like Debbie. Glad I met a Chinese woman.

 

 

tsap seui.

Edited May 13, 2013 by tsap seui (see edit history)

[Randy W]

 

 

I found this comment to be very telling about the producer's attitude, almost like she doesn't consider herself "Asian". I don't think Steve makes this distinction.

 

Also, when it comes to the whole phenomenon of yellow fever and the objectification of Asian women, Asian America is left out of the equation. And it's a big issue, because they're often mistaking Asian American women for Asian women.

 

 

Much as I dislike her preconceptions about men who marry Asian women she does have a point. Asian Americans more than any other minority in the US are perceived as being foreign even though they're as American as any of us. It's kind of a pet peeve of mine. I have a customer named David Oh who is of Korean decent, born and raised in the USA. I met another man of Korean decent who had the same last name and asked him if they are related. "What nationality is he?" the man asked. I told him "American". Later when I related the story to David he laughed and said "good answer!"

 

 

 

But they're also Asian in both appearance and personality - maybe the best of both worlds for some.

[Randy W]

Yeah, the more it went on the more that director Debbie got on my nerves. I think Debbie divorced herself from being Chinese a long time ago, except when it suits her.

 

At least she made the comments about the Sandy girl being a self made woman. I love seeing people who believe in themselves know who they are, and pull themselves up from challenging situations.

 

So glad I didn't meet a woman like Debbie, she can have her prententious American Born Chinese crap and white fever attitude and stick it up her snout. Glad I met a real Chinese woman.

 

 

tsap seui.

 

 

She had this to say about Sandy, so at least she came to appreciate what Steven had found

 

Debbie: She's a very unique person. She has a certain confidence, and she's very proud of who she is. She maybe represents the new generation of Chinese women who are quite media-savvy. She's a self-made woman. She grew up in one of the poorest regions in china, she didn't finish school or go to college, and she moved to the big city. That journey alone is worth a documentary.

I think she was just somebody who really knows what she wants. That said, it's not like this is an easy film for her. She is really quite courageous to have been part of it. Poeple, when they haven't seen the film, have a lot of preconceptions about who she is. They jump to a lot of conclusions that are frankly unfair. So that part isn't easy for her.

 

[warpedbored]

 

 

 

But they're also Asian in both appearance and personality - maybe the best of both worlds for some.

 

Not necessarily true. My friend David is married to a blonde haired blue eyed woman and acts as American as anyone.

[ameriken]

 

 

 

http://uschina.usc.edu/Files/images/201212/seekingasianfemale4.jpg

 

 

 

 

She was being nice because of the camera... I think she really meant to say she'd cut off something else.

Edited May 13, 2013 by ameriken (see edit history)

[warpedbored]

 

 

 

 

http://uschina.usc.edu/Files/images/201212/seekingasianfemale4.jpg

 

 

 

 

She was being nice because of the camera... I think she really meant to say she'd cut off something else.

 

I thought maybe she wanted him to pull her finger.

[Dennis143]

I've had this discussion with American born Asians. They (most of them) realize that living here among this huge immigrant Asian population that they'll quite often be lumped into that group of new arrivals. I see the same with latinos whose families have lived here for generations.

 

From my perspective, it's a white non-white issue. Simply put, white anglos settled this country and any non-white racial groups are too often assumed to be foreign born, blacks notwithstanding. It raises their hackles of many non-white Americans to have to too often explain that they were born here and their family have been here for generations and that they're as American as me or anyone else.

Edited May 15, 2013 by Dennis143 (see edit history)