Yes or No, okay?

[tsap seui]

You are so right.

 

I really did ask her a total of twice to teach me some Chinese. I never thought about it before, but dang if'n you ain't hit on a good point, Oscar.

 

Maybe Chinese is too hard of a language to teach for someone like her. Here we were working on her immigration visa to America and preparing for her upcoming interview by doing such things like studying the 100 questions in english, that some guy (can't remember exactly who....LOL) put into the FAQ section of the interview guide here on Candle.... all of this so we could quickly get her out of the clutches of whoever was chasing her in China.... and Lord God Billy Bob, would you believe that dadgum woman wouldn't have the decency to stop everything and teach me how to converse fluently in Chinese? I'll swear I jes don't know what the hail wuz she thinkin'? That people were actually gonna be speakin' english when we got to America? What????

 

I'll tell you what, when the boy leaves for school in the morning, and right after I git through spinning that lil' rabbit sittin' in her terlet seat over me....me and that woman is gonna have us a talk!!!! I'll ga-rone-tee ya......we is gonna have us a dadblamed talk !!! I may have been cheated out of understandin' her optomocally !!!!!

Tarnation, if'n this don't put a new spin on things....so to speak.

 

I once was blind, and now I can see......come on everybody, clap yore hands and sing along with me ....will that circle be unbroken...by and by Lord, by and by....

 

 

tsap seui

[Fu Lai]

... Maybe Chinese is too hard of a language to teach for someone like her.

 

???? I didn't mean to upset you tsap seui if I did and I was talking generally, not about your wife. My wife started to teach me it but it was too difficult. My name is Fu Lai and I have heard Chinese women say they won't think about China another minute once they are headed to America, for various reasons. Mostly because they want to start a new life, etc. I was just trying to add to the conversation if that's okay.

[tsap seui]

No problem here my man. My toes ain't tender. Ya just gave me some ideas for some funny stuff to write about. And, I do like funny stuff. Thanks.

 

At one point we thought the State Department was never going to give us the visa. I wasn't about to let some flunkys like the State Department interfere with my bona fide relationship with my wife, and we had all the plans ready for our life in China. She was gonna teach me Chinese just like I had been helping teach her English 3 hours a day on the phone for about 58 months. Our home in Fushun is really nice and comfy, it's been ready and awaits us. Who knows, once the boy gets settled into university here, in 2014, we may well come over and live some in China. She never was running away from anything there, neither was I.

 

tsap seui

[david_dawei]

The reality is that no chinese lady comes to the US with the goal to to teach some USC chinese... like that is their ticket into the US. Do you realize how many years it would take to become fluent in chinese by a wife? Let's stop the games.

 

Jokes are jokes, but let's not be down right stupid in playing to the crowd here for votes.

 

And his name is Fu Lai... Let's not put every possible dig into a poster.

[Mick]

This is a very complex and multifaceted issue and with that said, I think it is hard to generalize as to a person's motivations for seeking a visa. When Li and I were first together, there were friends on both sides who felt she was only out to get a visa, blah blah blah, etc. etc. The fact is, she refused to come to America and, though she had an open mind about doing so in the future, at that time it was a no go. I respected that and changed my plans. I originally went to China with the thought of staying one year, then returning home. I ended up staying a little over five years. As I said, Li didn't want to leave China as there were some issues with her family that were unsettled. So we waited. She has never formally tried to teach me Chinese, but I have picked up a lot over the years, especially living over there.

Edited February 25, 2013 by Mick (see edit history)

[credzba]

The reality is that no chinese lady comes to the US with the goal to to teach some USC chinese... like that is their ticket into the US. Do you realize how many years it would take to become fluent in chinese by a wife? Let's stop the games.

 

Jokes are jokes, but let's not be down right stupid in playing to the crowd here for votes.

 

And his name is Fu Lai... Let's not put every possible dig into a poster.

Actually David..

I think what you say is true, but I met my wife while TRYING to learn Mandarin.

In the end, I am like Mick, I have only learned what I pick up along the way.

BUT the original plan, before romance entered the picture, was for her to teach me Mandarin.

 

While she didn't "come to USA with goal to teach me Mandarin", we did meet "with the goal of her to teach me Mandarin".

[Randy W]

 

The reality is that no chinese lady comes to the US with the goal to to teach some USC chinese... like that is their ticket into the US. Do you realize how many years it would take to become fluent in chinese by a wife? Let's stop the games.

 

Jokes are jokes, but let's not be down right stupid in playing to the crowd here for votes.

 

And his name is Fu Lai... Let's not put every possible dig into a poster.

Actually David..

I think what you say is true, but I met my wife while TRYING to learn Mandarin.

In the end, I am like Mick, I have only learned what I pick up along the way.

BUT the original plan, before romance entered the picture, was for her to teach me Mandarin.

 

While she didn't "come to USA with goal to teach me Mandarin", we did meet "with the goal of her to teach me Mandarin".

 

So you met her as a teacher, and became her partner. Whereupon she dropped you as a student.

 

That seems to fit right in with what David said.

[david_dawei]

 

The reality is that no chinese lady comes to the US with the goal to to teach some USC chinese... like that is their ticket into the US. Do you realize how many years it would take to become fluent in chinese by a wife? Let's stop the games.

 

Jokes are jokes, but let's not be down right stupid in playing to the crowd here for votes.

 

And his name is Fu Lai... Let's not put every possible dig into a poster.

Actually David..

I think what you say is true, but I met my wife while TRYING to learn Mandarin.

In the end, I am like Mick, I have only learned what I pick up along the way.

BUT the original plan, before romance entered the picture, was for her to teach me Mandarin.

 

While she didn't "come to USA with goal to teach me Mandarin", we did meet "with the goal of her to teach me Mandarin".

 

It is nice to hear yours and Mick's stories... and others... It is the belittling BS I can do without.

 

Thanks for sharing.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

Orange Juice Please. Thank you.....

 

Living in China is a challenge for anyone, including the Chinese. Chinese people adapt by going with the flow, because bitching or complaining about things not being right, is time consuming, and often gets nowhere. For example, it's not unusual to go to a restaurant with friends, and take the time to choose your dish from the menu. Then, one of the wait-staff comes to your table to take your order. It typically goes like this:

 

Restaurant guest: "I'll have number 32 please."

Wait staff: "Oh, so sorry, mayo, we don't have that. Please choose something else."

Restaurant guest: A troubled, "Oh?" Because that's about all you can see you really want.

Restaurant guest: "I'll have number 43 please."

Wait staff: "Oh, so sorry, mayo, we don't have that. Please choose something else."

Restaurant guest: A troubled, "Oh?" Because, that was just a bowl of rice.

 

Recently, I was on a plane that was of course, late to arrive. After everyone was seated, I noticed a male flight attendant bring two cups of orange juice to two very well-dressed men, the typical China VIP type. I thought it was a bit unusal to get such service and a drink while the plane was preparing to push back.

 

Then, later during the flight, the flight attendants began to deliver food and drinks. I had the chicken and rice. Then, later the drink cart came and asked what I wanted to drink.

 

Male flight attendant: What would you like to drink?

Me: Orange juice please.

Male flight attendant: I'm sorry sir, we are all out of orange juice. Choose something else please.

 

Now, this is where most Chinese simply choose another drink. But, I was feeling passive aggressive and very capable of pulling off the entire who's on first routine with a straight face and smile.

 

Me: I'll have orange juice please.

Male flight attendant: I'm sorry sir, no orange juice. It's all gone. How about water?

Me: No thank you. I'll have some orange juice please. Thank you.

 

Now, a female flight attendant approaches:

 

Female flight attendant: Sir, I am sorry, we do not have orange juice. How about some tomato juice?

Me: Oh, thank you very much. I would like to have some orange juice.

 

Cross-talk between the female flight attendant and male flight attendant in Chinese. We would have to go all the way into first class to get the orange juice. Should we do that? I'm not sure she said, let me again ask him if he will accept orange soda pop.

 

Female flight attendant: Sir, would you like to have some orange soda?

Me: Thank you very much, but no. I would like to have some orange juice please.

 

The male flight attendant then proceeded to first class and brought back a large container of orange juice.

 

I'm not sure the reason why, but I rather enjoyed this.

[Doug]

I thought I posted here but must have decided not.

 

You know everything was understood, but................ My first chinese wife & I were in the taxi headed to the marriage registration office back in 2005, after we had got the single status paper from the Beijing Embassy. Like I say all was understood, BUT.......... ...I told her, you know in America a guy asks a girl if she will marry him and she answers yes or no. She smiled and took a DEEP breath and said yes yes yes. Finally I got a straight answer.

 

Heck even at the registration there were no questions, just paperwork and handing us our little red books. I kept waiting for some kind of question and answer, or verbal declartion. I was looked at like get out of the office your wasting time. That was it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am glad I am now married to someone who gives straight answers and got hitched in a different province where many questions were asked as Fen and I stood there and we had to answer yes. But you know............even then there was no direct question about taking on a husband or wife. But it sure was better than Beijing. I felt married for once. And we DID buy rings!

[Randy W]

I thought I posted here but must have decided not.

 

You know everything was understood, but................ My first chinese wife & I were in the taxi headed to the marriage registration office back in 2005, after we had got the single status paper from the Beijing Embassy. Like I say all was understood, BUT.......... ...I told her, you know in America a guy asks a girl if she will marry him and she answers yes or no. She smiled and took a DEEP breath and said yes yes yes. Finally I got a straight answer.

 

Heck even at the registration there were no questions, just paperwork and handing us our little red books. I kept waiting for some kind of question and answer, or verbal declartion. I was looked at like get out of the office your wasting time. That was it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am glad I am now married to someone who gives straight answers and got hitched in a different province where many questions were asked as Fen and I stood there and we had to answer yes. But you know............even then there was no direct question about taking on a husband or wife. But it sure was better than Beijing. I felt married for once. And we DID buy rings!

 

 

Not sure that I remember which - You were married in Guangxi (this time) ?

[Doug]

Orange Juice Please. Thank you.....

 

Living in China is a challenge for anyone, including the Chinese. Chinese people adapt by going with the flow, because bitching or complaining about things not being right, is time consuming, and often gets nowhere. For example, it's not unusual to go to a restaurant with friends, and take the time to choose your dish from the menu. Then, one of the wait-staff comes to your table to take your order. It typically goes like this:

 

Restaurant guest: "I'll have number 32 please."

Wait staff: "Oh, so sorry, mayo, we don't have that. Please choose something else."

Restaurant guest: A troubled, "Oh?" Because that's about all you can see you really want.

Restaurant guest: "I'll have number 43 please."

Wait staff: "Oh, so sorry, mayo, we don't have that. Please choose something else."

Restaurant guest: A troubled, "Oh?" Because, that was just a bowl of rice.

 

Recently, I was on a plane that was of course, late to arrive. After everyone was seated, I noticed a male flight attendant bring two cups of orange juice to two very well-dressed men, the typical China VIP type. I thought it was a bit unusal to get such service and a drink while the plane was preparing to push back.

 

Then, later during the flight, the flight attendants began to deliver food and drinks. I had the chicken and rice. Then, later the drink cart came and asked what I wanted to drink.

 

Male flight attendant: What would you like to drink?

Me: Orange juice please.

Male flight attendant: I'm sorry sir, we are all out of orange juice. Choose something else please.

 

Now, this is where most Chinese simply choose another drink. But, I was feeling passive aggressive and very capable of pulling off the entire who's on first routine with a straight face and smile.

 

Me: I'll have orange juice please.

Male flight attendant: I'm sorry sir, no orange juice. It's all gone. How about water?

Me: No thank you. I'll have some orange juice please. Thank you.

 

Now, a female flight attendant approaches:

 

Female flight attendant: Sir, I am sorry, we do not have orange juice. How about some tomato juice?

Me: Oh, thank you very much. I would like to have some orange juice.

 

Cross-talk between the female flight attendant and male flight attendant in Chinese. We would have to go all the way into first class to get the orange juice. Should we do that? I'm not sure she said, let me again ask him if he will accept orange soda pop.

 

Female flight attendant: Sir, would you like to have some orange soda?

Me: Thank you very much, but no. I would like to have some orange juice please.

 

The male flight attendant then proceeded to first class and brought back a large container of orange juice.

 

I'm not sure the reason why, but I rather enjoyed this.

Boy this is classic Jess. Way to go. I have to use that someday.

 

The girl at the Chinese Pizza Hut would not let me custom order my pizza. But then I got to thinking they must have an english speaking manager and ask to make sure this is the way it is. Fen was surprised at my agressiveness about this, but it saved me from writing the head of Tom's here in the USA to complain after I got home. I find that if I get a store manger I get what I want exactly like I want it, and tastes nearly like home.

 

All these sports friends of Fen are way more direct than what I dealt with in the past, though sometimes Fen tells me something I understand one way, but I find I need clarification from time to time.

[Doug]

 

I thought I posted here but must have decided not.

 

You know everything was understood, but................ My first chinese wife & I were in the taxi headed to the marriage registration office back in 2005, after we had got the single status paper from the Beijing Embassy. Like I say all was understood, BUT.......... ...I told her, you know in America a guy asks a girl if she will marry him and she answers yes or no. She smiled and took a DEEP breath and said yes yes yes. Finally I got a straight answer.

 

Heck even at the registration there were no questions, just paperwork and handing us our little red books. I kept waiting for some kind of question and answer, or verbal declartion. I was looked at like get out of the office your wasting time. That was it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am glad I am now married to someone who gives straight answers and got hitched in a different province where many questions were asked as Fen and I stood there and we had to answer yes. But you know............even then there was no direct question about taking on a husband or wife. But it sure was better than Beijing. I felt married for once. And we DID buy rings!

 

 

Not sure that I remember which - You were married in Guangxi (this time) ?

Jiangsu Province, in Nanjing. (up Next door to Shanghai and that dang Pudong airport).

 

We had to go down where you are to visit the parents and all brothers and sisters. Thinking about it, Fen's family one by one said OK as I asked each one point blank over lunch if I could marry her. I figured Mama was the heavy on this question, but I decided to ask Baba first. Baba, glanced to Mama, who said OK, then Baba said OK.

Edited March 2, 2013 by Doug (see edit history)

[Randy W]

Boy this is classic Jess. Way to go. I have to use that someday.

Orange Juice Please. Thank you.....

 

 

The girl at the Chinese Pizza Hut would not let me custom order my pizza. But then I got to thinking they must have an english speaking manager and ask to make sure this is the way it is. Fen was surprised at my agressiveness about this, but it saved me from writing the head of Tom's here in the USA to complain after I got home. I find that if I get a store manger I get what I want exactly like I want it, and tastes nearly like home.

 

All these sports friends of Fen are way more direct than what I dealt with in the past, though sometimes Fen tells me something I understand one way, but I find I need clarification from time to time.

 

 

We bought a fan at a good price at the downtown Jincheng - the price marked on the shelf was the one Jiaying wanted to pay, but the computer rang up a higher price. They actually went and got the tag off the shelf showing the lower price, compared it to the merchandise, but still wanted us to pay the price in the computer. Jiaying had to call about 8 managers down before they agreed to sell at the advertised price.

[Doug]

 

Boy this is classic Jess. Way to go. I have to use that someday.

Orange Juice Please. Thank you.....

 

 

The girl at the Chinese Pizza Hut would not let me custom order my pizza. But then I got to thinking they must have an english speaking manager and ask to make sure this is the way it is. Fen was surprised at my agressiveness about this, but it saved me from writing the head of Tom's here in the USA to complain after I got home. I find that if I get a store manger I get what I want exactly like I want it, and tastes nearly like home.

 

All these sports friends of Fen are way more direct than what I dealt with in the past, though sometimes Fen tells me something I understand one way, but I find I need clarification from time to time.

 

 

We bought a fan at a good price at the downtown Jincheng - the price marked on the shelf was the one Jiaying wanted to pay, but the computer rang up a higher price. They actually went and got the tag off the shelf showing the lower price, compared it to the merchandise, but still wanted us to pay the price in the computer. Jiaying had to call about 8 managers down before they agreed to sell at the advertised price.

Fen is not so bent on getting her price as I have read and experienced before. She will argue down a little, but just enjoys life a bit too much for it all that. She admires your wife for knowing what she wants and achieving it.