Old in China

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

I'm getting older. Hell, we all are. Yet, I remember 29 and the inevitable 30, 39, and the inevitable 40, and now, 59. I suppose we send out the feelers in our own way like: Do you think I look older? Do I look different? Have I changed?

 

I know in America people tend to be on the light side about this. They will tell us things we want to hear and avoid slamming it home. Well, that ain't so in China. When you ask such a question in China, you get a reply of what's right there in their mind's eye. Yes, you're old. You look older.

 

Oh, you used to be so slender, and handsome. How do you reply to the in-your-face truth? Haha.....Well, it's the truth. It can be pretty shocking to hear it, but it's the truth. Western society blows smoke. I don't know the better way, in fact it's rather hard to process the in your face being fat, average looking or less, and then old. But, if you want to know the truth, just ask a Chinese person. Surely it wakes you up pretty good.

[Steve in USA]

Hmmmm..... the girls in The Rain Bar in Shenzhen last night kept saying I was so handsome, says a 55 year old 112kg laowei. :-)

Edited January 20, 2013 by Steve in USA (see edit history)

[Urkidding]

Hmmmm..... the girls in The Rain Bar in Shenzhen last night kept saying I was so handsome, says a 55 year old 112kg laowei. :-)

 

 

That's what they use to tell me when I was 10 years old and 90 lbs.

 

http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj147/southernbound199/kids-at-strip-club.jpg

[Steve in USA]

Actually I do love the bluntness in the way that most Chinese express themselves.

 

A quick one comes to mind, I was with an ex-GF at Fantawild Adventures outside Shenyang last year. Its kind of a Chinese ripoff of Disneyland. We just got off of a water ride and was drying out from a lot of water slashing over our heads. Her son points at me and says matter of factly "You have hair like old woman." His mother straight faced agreed. I laughed my ass off. They were right.

[credzba]

I couldn't decide whether to post in this thread, or in "A walk in the park" thread, obviously I choose this one .

 

When my wife and I married, I was 50, she was 41.

We both said we were lucky to find each other, even if it was so late in life.

 

The plan then, and the plan now is to grow old together.

When I tell people what I wish for, it is exactly the things in these two threads.

 

I know I wont be young forever, hell, when I was young I wasted my time on people and things that didn't matter.

Now, I long for being one of those old guys in the park.

I want to wake early in the morning, and go to the noodle shop.

I want to go to the plaza near our apartments, and do the tai chi, and qi gong exercises with the old men.

In the evening, all the ladies go to the plaza, and dance Chinese dances for exercise, I want to go watch my wife exercise (and the other ladies but don't tell on me).

 

Many of my dearest friends are from the China mainland, and I hope we can arrange to live near each other.

In my dreams, we live in the ancient household set-up with 4 houses joined to a center courtyard.

In the morning, we all go out and cook breakfast, and enjoy eating together.

In the afternoons, we play Mahjong.

The rest of the day we talk, gossip, and enjoy each other company.

 

I know I'll be old sooner or later, I'll always be a foreigner.

Still, I hope to enjoy every day.

 

 

[Fu Lai]

I've experienced the "you look young for your age" remarks since I was in my twenties and still being carded at night clubs.Then the next three decades it continued until at this time I think I have caught up with my years. So I am now learning how to be an older guy and really kind of liking it. I am going to play it for all it's worth!

Edited January 20, 2013 by Fu Lai (see edit history)

[tsap seui]

Age....man, in 12 days on February 1st my odometer is flppin' over to 63. I can only laugh, as I have laughed at every odometer flip since my 22nd. Everyday is a holiday, a freebie if you will.....because....and here's the story, every damn thing about me has a story...LOL Just a few days after hitting 21 one of my doorgunners and I were walking away from a burning shot to shit Huey that the peter pilot and I had just shot a no hydralics approach and landing on the active at Phu Loi airfield. Choppers land to a hover, one without any hydralics have to land like a plane, only we have to land sideways to the active and just before the skids touch the ground you roll off the throttle so the ship yaws back into line with the runway. Too late or too quick on rolling the throttle off and a skid will dig in and the ship will flip. Any how, I had talked the new peter pilot (his second time out) into being calm, disregard the flames behind him and help me get this thing down as it took both of us pulling with all our might on different controls that felt like they weighed a ton to perform this lil' aerial ballet.

 

So my doorgunner and I were walking away from the popping inferno behind us with the crew chief directing the tow truck to his helicopter as the fire brigaed was putting out the flames and the new guy was kissing the ground and crossing himself like he was in a John Wayne war movie or something and I started laughing and said to my buddy....

 

"Marijuanna Joe, I am 21, shot down 4 times, now this, and only been incountry 8 months...I don't think I will see my 22nd birthday." Ol' Maryjane Joe snickers and says...."Hell sir, I'm on my second tour and I'm 18, I don't think I'm gonna even see 19."

 

I punch MJ in the shoulder and say..."Fu#k it man, it don' mean nuthin"....lets go cop a buzz"...."and DON'T call me sir, I hate that shit."

 

So age and getting older? It don't mean nuthin'....I'm still, and ALWAYS will be 21. Just ask my wife...our family joke is tht our 16 year old son is my brother and he's the older one.

 

Old in China??? Wow, I have never seen a culture so obsessed with being old. I think the men start telling themselves they are old men around age 40. Then in early 50's they get booted off their jobs for younger men and boom....yep, they turn old. They damn well BETTER be out there doing those early morning workouts. And it would help them more if they quit thinking they were old.

 

Everytime I go over to ma and ba's for a feed bag with the family they exclaim how young I am. As a joke I run over to a mirror and look in it for a dramatic minute or so, like I'm trying to figure out what they are talking about. No, I keep young by being the blue collar worker that I am. Having been self employed most of my life I learned to drag myself to work, through bad rotator cuffs, hurt knees, whatever. The medicine of staying busy at what you do is much better than any medicine a doctor could give you and it keeps your mind young and your body.....well, as I say in my stupid hillbilly redneck language....gittin' old is all a "pigmeat" of yore imagination, I tells ya..

 

End of story.

 

tsap seui

[Sam and Fen]

Age....man, in 12 days on February 1st my odometer is flppin' over to 63. I can only laugh, as I have laughed at every odometer flip since my 22nd. Everyday is a holiday, a freebie if you will.....because....and here's the story, every damn thing about me has a story...LOL Just a few days after hitting 21 one of my doorgunners and I were walking away from a burning shot to shit Huey that the peter pilot and I had just shot a no hydralics approach and landing on the active at Phu Loi airfield. Choppers land to a hover, one without any hydralics have to land like a plane, only we have to land sideways to the active and just before the skids touch the ground you roll off the throttle so the ship yaws back into line with the runway. Too late or too quick on rolling the throttle off and a skid will dig in and the ship will flip. Any how, I had talked the new peter pilot (his second time out) into being calm, disregard the flames behind him and help me get this thing down as it took both of us pulling with all our might on different controls that felt like they weighed a ton to perform this lil' aerial ballet.

 

So my doorgunner and I were walking away from the popping inferno behind us with the crew chief directing the tow truck to his helicopter as the fire brigaed was putting out the flames and the new guy was kissing the ground and crossing himself like he was in a John Wayne war movie or something and I started laughing and said to my buddy....

 

"Marijuanna Joe, I am 21, shot down 4 times, now this, and only been incountry 8 months...I don't think I will see my 22nd birthday." Ol' Maryjane Joe snickers and says...."Hell sir, I'm on my second tour and I'm 18, I don't think I'm gonna even see 19."

 

I punch MJ in the shoulder and say..."Fu#k it man, it don' mean nuthin"....lets go cop a buzz"...."and DON'T call me sir, I hate that shit."

 

So age and getting older? It don't mean nuthin'....I'm still, and ALWAYS will be 21. Just ask my wife...our family joke is tht our 16 year old son is my brother and he's the older one.

 

Old in China??? Wow, I have never seen a culture so obsessed with being old. I think the men start telling themselves they are old men around age 40. Then in early 50's they get booted off their jobs for younger men and boom....yep, they turn old. They damn well BETTER be out there doing those early morning workouts. And it would help them more if they quit thinking they were old.

 

Everytime I go over to ma and ba's for a feed bag with the family they exclaim how young I am. As a joke I run over to a mirror and look in it for a dramatic minute or so, like I'm trying to figure out what they are talking about. No, I keep young by being the blue collar worker that I am. Having been self employed most of my life I learned to drag myself to work, through bad rotator cuffs, hurt knees, whatever. The medicine of staying busy at what you do is much better than any medicine a doctor could give you and it keeps your mind young and your body.....well, as I say in my stupid hillbilly redneck language....gittin' old is all a "pigmeat" of yore imagination, I tells ya..

 

End of story.

 

tsap seui

 

If you go to any mall in the US you will see a store named after me. Forever 21.

[Dennis143]

"Wow, you really fat!" as, they plunge their finger into my belly. "Wow, you really ugly!", I want to answer. I get so sick of Chinese who don't know American etiquette. If got nothing nice to say, shut up or go sit by Chinese. Yes, I am overweight and I'm old (63) too. BFD. But, then again, I also get the compliments too that I know aren't true "You're still young... your husband really handsome... You are really lucky..."

 

Got to take it all and just accept it for what it is.

[Mick]

I know what you mean, Dennis. During my years in China, there were periods of time that I grew tired of the "directness." Yet, at the same time, Chinese folks can be very indirect at times, beating around the bush a hundred different ways rather than getting to the point. Like you said, you really have to take the whole package. When I taught English Lit over there, one of the stories we read was Oscar Wilde's 'Portrait of Dorian Gray," in which the man doesn't age but his portrait does. We typically had interesting discussions about the Chinese and American cultures views on aging.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

"Wow, you really fat!" as, they plunge their finger into my belly. "Wow, you really ugly!", I want to answer. I get so sick of Chinese who don't know American etiquette. If got nothing nice to say, shut up or go sit by Chinese. Yes, I am overweight and I'm old (63) too. BFD. But, then again, I also get the compliments too that I know aren't true "You're still young... your husband really handsome... You are really lucky..."

 

Got to take it all and just accept it for what it is.

 

 

I know what you mean, Dennis. During my years in China, there were periods of time that I grew tired of the "directness." Yet, at the same time, Chinese folks can be very indirect at times, beating around the bush a hundred different ways rather than getting to the point. Like you said, you really have to take the whole package. When I taught English Lit over there, one of the stories we read was Oscar Wilde's 'Portrait of Dorian Gray," in which the man doesn't age but his portrait does. We typically had interesting discussions about the Chinese and American cultures views on aging.

 

Too many people, and not enough jobs. If you're 50, it's time to move over and relinquish your job to a younger person. Time to retire. At first, I accepted these cultural behaviors in stride, but I'm with Dennis that insensitive behavior is very annoying. Some Chinese are familiar of the things that may offend Western people and refrain from doing them to your face. These days I'm more inclined to respond to the old and/or fat comments by answering, I may be old, and I may be fat, but I know how to drive safely, stand in an orderly line, talk quietly on the telephone in public, and make sure I use deodorant before I board the bus or subway.

[NickF]

I just qualified for Medicare, so I guess I'm officially a Senior citizen (hate that term.) On the other hand I still work full-time, and weather permitting, bicycle 10-15 miles a day, so I guess I won't drop dead for a year or two.

 

On the other hand I'm preparing ChunMei and my daughter for that inevitible moment... life insurance, etc..

[Doug]

I'm old enough to get the discount at a few resturaunts, but not most. I think once I asked for it and never have since.

 

About the only time I do is when some young lady gives it to me without my asking, even if I don't quite qualify. Man I look old..........

 

 

Anyway it feels weird. I just don't think I'm old. I'm working.

[Robert S.]

_{I am 58 and had to apply for disability because I could not do my medical transcription anymore because I developed trigger finger. My VA doctor told me I had to quit typing or my hands would get like claws. So I quit my job and applied for SSDI and got it. It is only $1022 a month, but what the heck, medical transcription was going downhill anyway, everything being taken over by voice recognition, the computers taking our jobs away from us.}

 

_{I wish I could go to China and just hang out and explore the food, the culture, and the old parts of the country. Even though my Chinese wife divorced me four years ago I'm still interested in China. Shoot, maybe I could get real lucky and a lady would love me for who I am, rather than for being a ticket.}

 

_{I was recently talking with an old guy, a Paki, working as a security guard, and he made a comment that I can't quit thinking about, calling retirement "bonus life." Man, I have been greatly enjoying my bonus, especially with my early retirement, though it is in severe poverty, the time itself is the most valuable thing.}

 

_{This is an enjoyable thread and good luck to the rest of you old farts.}

Edited February 9, 2013 by Robert S. (see edit history)