Recent Divorce and Red Flags

[warpedbored]

If you withdraw the petition you will have to start over from scratch. and wait until your next trip to China to marry. Also as I stated before there are no do overs for an I-130 if denied. My advice is to have a consultation with Marc Ellis or another immigration lawyer well versed in NOIR and familiar with the consulate in Guangzhou. Maybe I'm wrong but IMO with drawing the petition would be just adding another red flag. Especially if you told them it was because you were too hasty.

[credzba]

If you withdraw the petition you will have to start over from scratch. and wait until your next trip to China to marry. Also as I stated before there are no do overs for an I-130 if denied. My advice is to have a consultation with Marc Ellis or another immigration lawyer well versed in NOIR and familiar with the consulate in Guangzhou. Maybe I'm wrong but IMO with drawing the petition would be just adding another red flag. Especially if you told them it was because you were too hasty.

 

Agree with WarpedBored, get a good lawyer.

 

I wrote a long post, and deleted it because I started thinking I had misunderstood her age, so I went back and re-read.

So, now I'll repost .. she really IS 22, and your 45.

 

Your divorce timing is not the red flag, her being 22 and nno previous marriage is a huge red flag (at least if I was the vo).

 

Forget your OWN thinking, and put yourself as a vo for a minute.

Your job for the next 5 minutes is to defend US immigration law from being circumvented.

You know Chinese culture, people, and even tendencies for fraud in different regions.

 

You pull up this new application for fiance visa.

The girl is from a smaller city (job wise) .. check her finance situation...

She is 22, most girls don't marry till 25 (after college).. why is she marrying so young.

Why a fiance visa, she can marry in China, and you KNOW her family is going to want to be at their only daughters wedding.

 

You pull up the American citizen.

he is 45 ! .. I mean I can understand why a 45 year old guy wants a 22 year old girl, that is obvious, but why does she want him.

Is he rich (check his finances .. top 15% credit score is average).

Is he a movie star looking (check pictures).

WHAT, he is divorced.. Chinese people look on a divorced person as used merchandise... AND he has kids already?

 

Hmm.. let me reflect on this data.

NO Chinese parent would let their 22 year old daughter marry a divorced Chinese man with average income.

Most 22 year old girls wouldn't WANT to date a guy 33 year older than them unless he had something to offer.

In this case, I don't see the attraction, or logic in the parents letting her marry this guy except for the visa.

 

As a vo I think .. at least they are only a fiance visa. I don't have to do anything, just let it time out.

K1 can timeout and you don't even get to appeal your case before a immigration judge. That is the downside to a K1.

 

Seriously, get a GOOD attorney, but I think even with Marc your odds are not high.

As some others stated, if she was 32, divorced, with a child, and you were 55, you odds would be way better.

But at 22, it doesn't look good to my eyes.

[david_dawei]

Let's at least apply a little logic to the idea of withdrawing the case to marry and file later...

 

If a K1 was continued with, the earliest you would marry (assuming a favorable visa issue) is 9 months or so...

 

To withdraw now, and marry around July next year would be... any guess? 9 months or so...

 

So to claim some reason for the K1 as being hasty is irrational and you look like an idiot to try to claim as such since you continue the 'rush' concept; rushing to find someone after divorce; rushing to file K1; rushing to withdraw to marry... If I can think this, her next VO has seen it 100 times.

 

Had you come here and asked prior to filing, I think everyone is in agreement that you should wait and build up the relationship issues... but seeing that you have filed the only sense in withdrawing is to wait another year or more to marry. Otherwise, the logic really doesn't add up.

 

As Carl said: if you file K1 you have the fall back option of marrying and then filing as CR1. As Randy says, you can get someone to review the case and advise you.

 

IMO... I would not withdraw unless it makes rational sense all around; like you wait another year or two including a marriage.... but that is no guarantee of any different outcome. There are so many variables you can only guess the outcome, regardless of how well prepared you are... unless you are a glutton for detail...

 

My story goes as follows:

I had already brought over one lady as a K1 without any issues... but we divorced and I later meet another while I was technically married but in the divorce proceedings. Although I was certain that this second relationship was without doubt, I applied all the logic I could to the red flag issues over the last several years of interviews. In short: I decided I would visit several times and marry on the 4th visit; file and by the time of the interview have 6 visits; and by the time of the interview I would of known her close to 3 years... Despite taking every precaution and remedying a few the night before the interview, my wife was grilled for 45 minutes by the VO everyone said was the 'denial VO' and to be avoided. while waiting for interviews, the girls around her schemed to go to the bathroom if this VO called them... my wife jumped at the opportunity to get her. As she said: She can ask me anything she wants... I will talk with her. We were able to overcome a certain pre-determined denial because we had now 3 years together and enough intimate knowledge of each other's life that the VO proclaimed at the end, "you have proven your case"...

 

I had told my wife that we should plan on 3-5 year process... and filing was simply the beginning steps...

 

You have to decide what your long term plans is for making the best possible outcome of an interview as this is all that matters; as the interview is the longest time you will have known each other and the VO will decide based on observation of your case.

 

Because you have filed and we lack the ability to strongly advise you to wait (which is easier said than withdrawing), I am inclined that you roll the dice and let the interview play out... Had you come earlier, I would of strongly recommended you wait a year or two and marry...

 

I would say Randy's advice to seek outside review of your case is the best short-term plan... you can do that without changing anything.

[david_dawei]

But at 22, it doesn't look good to my eyes.

There has been lots of good advice and comments... this is one of the better threads we've seen concerning red flag issues...

 

We can all play the guessing game of what the VO will think or do, but I wanted to say your analysis and comments are quite good and serious for consideration. Nice post.

[Roebel]

I hate being the poster child for red flag issues, and every time I think there's a reasonable solution someone throws a wrench in the plan. I know everyone is trying to help, but it is quite discouraging.

 

She is from a divorced family, her mother remarried but her step father died last year. Her father doesn't have much communication with her and lives in another province, as well as her brother. So some of the normal family expectations aren't as strong. At 45 and 22 or 46,47 and 23,24 we could still have a family, waiting for five years is really not reasonable. Even though I was married before I don't have children.

 

I don't think that 45, and 22 are commonplace here. It seems the age gap happens more with 50+. has anyone seen this exact situation before?

 

I think the red flag issues with my K-1 are obvious so I don't know that its worth the time and expense to follow through with it. Or do I have to go through with it now to save face?

 

I don't mind putting the time in to grow the relationship and apply for the CR-1 next year. I just want to know that its even possible.

 

If I sound frustrated I am, please forgive me. I will try to consult with someone

Edited October 16, 2012 by Roebel (see edit history)

[Randy W]

Yes - I think that's the key to getting through this. Sit back, don't do ANYTHING right now, except to consult with someone who can look at your case objectively.

 

We'll just never have a complete picture here.

[knloregon]

Roebel, a lot of people are on your side here, that isn't always the case, so we think you are sincere, but your case, is, at best very close if you (she) goes to interview.

 

Until just recently, (as I recall) her family wasn't mentioned, yet, that is one of the most important parts of the visa process --- your acceptance into her family. Since she comes from a broken home, and apparently, her mother (and her mother's side of the family) are the important extended family for her --- the obvious question: How much time have you spent with them? Its one thing to say --" ok" --- its another thing to bring you into the fold ---- regardless of the actual visa type, (and given your other negatives) DOS is going to want to see that you are very much the dutiful son to be --- or son-in-law. IMHO.

 

 

 

[tsap seui]

I hate being the poster child for red flag issues, and every time I think there's a reasonable solution someone throws a wrench in the plan. I know everyone is trying to help, but it is quite discouraging.

 

She is from a divorced family, her mother remarried but her step father died last year. Her father doesn't have much communication with her and lives in another province, as well as her brother. So some of the normal family expectations aren't as strong. At 45 and 22 or 46,47 and 23,24 we could still have a family, waiting for five years is really not reasonable. Even though I was married before I don't have children.

 

I don't think that 45, and 22 are commonplace here. It seems the age gap happens more with 50+. has anyone seen this exact situation before?

 

I think the red flag issues with my K-1 are obvious so I don't know that its worth the time and expense to follow through with it. Or do I have to go through with it now to save face?

 

I don't mind putting the time in to grow the relationship and apply for the CR-1 next year. I just want to know that its even possible.

 

If I sound frustrated I am, please forgive me. I will try to consult with someone

 

Whew....buddy, your emotions have got to be feeling like a badminton birdie about now, knocked every which way but loose, desperately wanting to be with your girl (like yesterday), and in a few months facing an interview in a place that at on a good day is a highly arbitrary crap shoot.

 

Ya got some good advice from some knowledgeable people who all hope the best for a favorable outcome for you guys.

 

I highly admire you both for being mentally prepared and willing to pull the K-1 case from the USCIS, wait some time, get married, wait some time and then file a CR-1. That right there is the sort of winning attitude that it takes a couple should the shit hit the fan. Never forget the power of time, especially if you run into trouble down the road with the State Department.

 

You guys WILL get the visa...it could either come at the end of a K-1 interview in a few months, or it may be at a later date, but you will get her visa.

 

I do not think you should pull your case right now.

 

Yes, it is a shame you didn't land on Candle before you filed the K-1, get all this sage advice and file a couple of years later but honestly, I wouldn't pull the plug on the K-1. Hell, we've got and seen characters who got their divorces finalized in America only weeks or months before their girlfriend had her interview in Guangzhou...and their girls got their visas. It is all a crap shoot, one where luck rules the day. You can literally think of the interview as a pick the "lucky ducky" contest at a small town carnival.

 

My gut feeling is don't pull the K-1, see where it leads. Look at the dynamics here....you would be pulling the K-1 to buy more time together with your girl....and you're looking to add on what? Another year, year and a half of time together as stronger proof.

 

My thinking is you are going to get more "time" together, should you even need it, if they deny her at the K-1. Thing is, no one here can state for a fact that she will be denied at that K-1. We've seen worse time of divorce cases than yours and those women got their K-1 visas. It's all arbitrary, man.

 

One way or the other, should you need it, you are going to get a year, year and a half of "time"rather you pull the plug yourself, or the DOS denies her.

 

Why not drop Marc Ellis an e-mail and ask that specific question..."Should I pull the case at this point?"

 

I like Marc, and talked to him a few times. I did not use his service as he himself even admitted we probably didn't even need him, but he talked very candidly with me about Guangzhou, and he would most likely tell you to pull, or not to pull the K-1 at this point....for free.

 

You could always use Marc should your girl get denied.

 

Don't count your girl out just yet. I like David's words to his woman, it's a process of 3 to five years (or however he put it)....yes, it can be a five year journey....the jackals in Guangzhou hold all the cards and with a total lack of oversight they can do as they damn well please... including giving a woman a K-1 visa even though she had a short relationship with her American man after his divorce date.

 

I also like you and your girl's attitude to do whatever it takes to be together. Don't lose that attitude, no matter what.

 

Good luck to you guys. My hope is your success at the K-1 interview. Should things fail there, you will prevail at the next, CR-1 or IR-1, interview.

 

The time you guys are willing to invest now is testament of your commitment to each other. It will carry you through should Guangzhou deny her. T I M E is your friend, and the most powerful tool in your toolbox.

 

tsap seui

[Roebel]

I hate being the poster child for red flag issues, and every time I think there's a reasonable solution someone throws a wrench in the plan. I know everyone is trying to help, but it is quite discouraging.

 

She is from a divorced family, her mother remarried but her step father died last year. Her father doesn't have much communication with her and lives in another province, as well as her brother. So some of the normal family expectations aren't as strong. At 45 and 22 or 46,47 and 23,24 we could still have a family, waiting for five years is really not reasonable. Even though I was married before I don't have children.

 

I don't think that 45, and 22 are commonplace here. It seems the age gap happens more with 50+. has anyone seen this exact situation before?

 

I think the red flag issues with my K-1 are obvious so I don't know that its worth the time and expense to follow through with it. Or do I have to go through with it now to save face?

 

I don't mind putting the time in to grow the relationship and apply for the CR-1 next year. I just want to know that its even possible.

 

If I sound frustrated I am, please forgive me. I will try to consult with someone

 

Whew....buddy, your emotions have got to be feeling like a badminton birdie about now, knocked every which way but loose, desperately wanting to be with your girl (like yesterday), and in a few months facing an interview in a place that at on a good day is a highly arbitrary crap shoot.

 

Ya got some good advice from some knowledgeable people who all hope the best for a favorable outcome for you guys.

 

I highly admire you both for being mentally prepared and willing to pull the K-1 case from the USCIS, wait some time, get married, wait some time and then file a CR-1. That right there is the sort of winning attitude that it takes a couple should the shit hit the fan. Never forget the power of time, especially if you run into trouble down the road with the State Department.

 

You guys WILL get the visa...it could either come at the end of a K-1 interview in a few months, or it may be at a later date, but you will get her visa.

 

I do not think you should pull your case right now.

 

Yes, it is a shame you didn't land on Candle before you filed the K-1, get all this sage advice and file a couple of years later but honestly, I wouldn't pull the plug on the K-1. Hell, we've got and seen characters who got their divorces finalized in America only weeks or months before their girlfriend had her interview in Guangzhou...and their girls got their visas. It is all a crap shoot, one where luck rules the day. You can literally think of the interview as a pick the "lucky ducky" contest at a small town carnival.

 

My gut feeling is don't pull the K-1, see where it leads. Look at the dynamics here....you would be pulling the K-1 to buy more time together with your girl....and you're looking to add on what? Another year, year and a half of time together as stronger proof.

 

My thinking is you are going to get more "time" together, should you even need it, if they deny her at the K-1. Thing is, no one here can state for a fact that she will be denied at that K-1. We've seen worse time of divorce cases than yours and those women got their K-1 visas. It's all arbitrary, man.

 

One way or the other, should you need it, you are going to get a year, year and a half of "time"rather you pull the plug yourself, or the DOS denies her.

 

Why not drop Marc Ellis an e-mail and ask that specific question..."Should I pull the case at this point?"

 

I like Marc, and talked to him a few times. I did not use his service as he himself even admitted we probably didn't even need him, but he talked very candidly with me about Guangzhou, and he would most likely tell you to pull, or not to pull the K-1 at this point....for free.

 

You could always use Marc should your girl get denied.

 

Don't count your girl out just yet. I like David's words to his woman, it's a process of 3 to five years (or however he put it)....yes, it can be a five year journey....the jackals in Guangzhou hold all the cards and with a total lack of oversight they can do as they damn well please... including giving a woman a K-1 visa even though she had a short relationship with her American man after his divorce date.

 

I also like you and your girl's attitude to do whatever it takes to be together. Don't lose that attitude, no matter what.

 

Good luck to you guys. My hope is your success at the K-1 interview. Should things fail there, you will prevail at the next, CR-1 or IR-1, interview.

 

The time you guys are willing to invest now is testament of your commitment to each other. It will carry you through should Guangzhou deny her. T I M E is your friend, and the most powerful tool in your toolbox.

 

tsap seui

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Yes, I do feel like a badminton birdie! I had this long emotional post all ready to go, but I will save it for now.

 

I was going to call to schedule a consultation, but email is a much better idea. I can put it down in writing and make sure I get all the details straight. I would think he would have a clear answer, at least I hope.

 

Thanks again!

Edited October 16, 2012 by Roebel (see edit history)

[b.c]

My situation was similar. I met and started a relationship with the girl I would eventually petition for before my divorce was final. She was 22 at the time we filed as well. However, I was 31 and we had been together for about 1 year before we filed and I had visited her 6 times by the time we filed and another 6 times while we were in processing, for a total of 12 meetings in person by the time of our interview.

 

I do not think that being recently divorced is much of an issue by itself. But I think it can certainly come into play if there are any other possible issues with your petition. Based on skimming through your posts, I think you have been given great advice and should proceed carefully and cautiously.

[Beachey]

 

I do not think that being recently divorced is much of an issue by itself. But I think it can certainly come into play if there are any other possible issues with your petition.

 

Reading through this thread, that is the other question I have. Can you document (with an EOR) the breakdown of the marriage prior to the divorce. It is quite common for a marriage to be over for all practical purposes months or even years before the divorce is finalized. If you can show that your marriage was over way before the divorce; it helps with the short timeline between divorce and engagement. However, as others have documented better than I, there are other red flags.

[tsap seui]

 

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Yes, I do feel like a badminton birdie! I had this long emotional post all ready to go, but I will save it for now.

 

I was going to call to schedule a consultation, but email is a much better idea. I can put it down in writing and make sure I get all the details straight. I would think he would have a clear answer, at least I hope.

 

Thanks again!

 

A clear answer? Hmmmmm....not saying Marc won't have one, it's just tough to give a single definitive answer when there are so many variables, what if's, and such.

 

We all hope the best for you and your girlfriend. With any luck at all, she may well go to her interview and walk away with an approval. I've seen much closer (to the interview date of all things) divorce finalization dates of the American than what you report here. Yes, you have some age difference....I've seen almost that many years in age difference with a guy and his girlfriend, plus he met her before his divorce was final....bingo, she still got the visa.

 

Then, you see them deny people for half of what others had, yet were successful with.

 

Another thing we've seen many times, usually I've found this out when folks in trouble PM'ed me....what we all speculated on Candle had absolutely nothing to do with the reasons Guangzhou denied the lady....there just are hardly any "clear answers" buddy.

 

I personally hate and despise speculation and conjecture as it was used against us in our case and it was totally DEAD WRONG, so I try my best never to speculate or conjecture on what a VO, or fella like Marc Ellis might would say to you.

 

Just e-mail Marc with a simple explanation of your case as it stands at this point. He could it on something none of us even thought about just as easily as he could agree with any of the thinking here. It's not that anyone is smarter than the other, it's just the nature of the beast in Guangzhou. I'm not joking when I say "luck" is what rules the day with an interview. The Americans in the State Department in Guangzhou play the rules any way they feel like on any given day. You...We....have to stay flexible, keep our wits about us, and have tons of patience. They can do anything they want to, damn the rules, damn what you've seen happen to others whose red flags were much redder than yours....it's all about how lucky you are, not how smart you are.

 

Again, one of the best (lets hope you and your girl never need this) and strongest things I see about you and your woman is your willingness to use time to succeed. Many folks are impatient and that can be a deal breaker should they encounter problems along the way.

 

If you guys encounter problems, keep your focus as to your goal. Keep your patience, and never lose sight of the fact of how time is your strongest tool. She Will get her visa. The people in the State Department can delay you but they can never tear a bona fide relationship apart....unless you let them.

 

My guess is the USCIS will approve your case in America, and the paperwork will be forwarded to the State Department in Guangzhou. There are many parts to an immigration petition. It would have been nice to have met you guys before you filed but while we don't have that luxury you will have a lot of support here should you need it. You may well have strengths (like a strong financial history) that will over shadow many types of "red flags"

 

You guys stay strong and think positive

 

tsap seui

[Roebel]

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Yes, I do feel like a badminton birdie! I had this long emotional post all ready to go, but I will save it for now.

 

I was going to call to schedule a consultation, but email is a much better idea. I can put it down in writing and make sure I get all the details straight. I would think he would have a clear answer, at least I hope.

 

Thanks again!

 

A clear answer? Hmmmmm....not saying Marc won't have one, it's just tough to give a single definitive answer when there are so many variables, what if's, and such.

 

We all hope the best for you and your girlfriend. With any luck at all, she may well go to her interview and walk away with an approval. I've seen much closer (to the interview date of all things) divorce finalization dates of the American than what you report here. Yes, you have some age difference....I've seen almost that many years in age difference with a guy and his girlfriend, plus he met her before his divorce was final....bingo, she still got the visa.

 

Then, you see them deny people for half of what others had, yet were successful with.

 

Another thing we've seen many times, usually I've found this out when folks in trouble PM'ed me....what we all speculated on Candle had absolutely nothing to do with the reasons Guangzhou denied the lady....there just are hardly any "clear answers" buddy.

 

I personally hate and despise speculation and conjecture as it was used against us in our case and it was totally DEAD WRONG, so I try my best never to speculate or conjecture on what a VO, or fella like Marc Ellis might would say to you.

 

Just e-mail Marc with a simple explanation of your case as it stands at this point. He could it on something none of us even thought about just as easily as he could agree with any of the thinking here. It's not that anyone is smarter than the other, it's just the nature of the beast in Guangzhou. I'm not joking when I say "luck" is what rules the day with an interview. The Americans in the State Department in Guangzhou play the rules any way they feel like on any given day. You...We....have to stay flexible, keep our wits about us, and have tons of patience. They can do anything they want to, damn the rules, damn what you've seen happen to others whose red flags were much redder than yours....it's all about how lucky you are, not how smart you are.

 

Again, one of the best (lets hope you and your girl never need this) and strongest things I see about you and your woman is your willingness to use time to succeed. Many folks are impatient and that can be a deal breaker should they encounter problems along the way.

 

If you guys encounter problems, keep your focus as to your goal. Keep your patience, and never lose sight of the fact of how time is your strongest tool. She Will get her visa. The people in the State Department can delay you but they can never tear a bona fide relationship apart....unless you let them.

 

My guess is the USCIS will approve your case in America, and the paperwork will be forwarded to the State Department in Guangzhou. There are many parts to an immigration petition. It would have been nice to have met you guys before you filed but while we don't have that luxury you will have a lot of support here should you need it. You may well have strengths (like a strong financial history) that will over shadow many types of "red flags"

 

You guys stay strong and think positive

 

tsap seui

 

I really appreciate the support and encouragement.

 

We do have some have some positives going for us despite some of the challenges. And I hope some things like communication, attitude, and confidence are considered when the case may be marginal. She's willing to prepare, and already has a positive attitude, so maybe that will get us over the hump.

 

I've sent an email to Marc, if/when I receive a reply, I will post his suggestion.

 

Thanks!

[david_dawei]

Question: If the barriers appeared insurmountable, would you be willing to throw in the towel and withdraw and say good-bye? If yes, then do so now.

 

As this is the type of relationship which causes all of our problems we relate; The VOs know this based on age differences, marriageability, and dumb luck to meet the wrong person.

 

You have one great problem in the future: She can never understand your life and cultural experience; she can be all smiles and support but never, ever get it... if that is all you want in a life partner than maybe don't let go.

 

Personally, I don't quite get marrying a person who would be the same age as my daughter. But as you have no children you lack life experience too. I had a Shanghai girl of 22 ask me to get in a relationship... and I laughed... and she was quite serious and didn't understand me. I stated fairly simply (and she understood english very good): I am not sure how my daughter would accept me marrying someone her age.

 

It was not that I would be embarrassed it was that I knew that she could not consider such an idea... and she was silent since she saw no problem with being the same age as my daughter... She only asked me again for a relationship. The inability to grasp the reality of what I said is Chinese to the core. At least I got the last laugh by being able to step backwards and see the future together.

[Roebel]

Question: If the barriers appeared insurmountable, would you be willing to throw in the towel and withdraw and say good-bye? If yes, then do so now.

 

As this is the type of relationship which causes all of our problems we relate; The VOs know this based on age differences, marriageability, and dumb luck to meet the wrong person.

 

You have one great problem in the future: She can never understand your life and cultural experience; she can be all smiles and support but never, ever get it... if that is all you want in a life partner than maybe don't let go.

 

Personally, I don't quite get marrying a person who would be the same age as my daughter. But as you have no children you lack life experience too. I had a Shanghai girl of 22 ask me to get in a relationship... and I laughed... and she was quite serious and didn't understand me. I stated fairly simply (and she understood english very good): I am not sure how my daughter would accept me marrying someone her age.

 

It was not that I would be embarrassed it was that I knew that she could not consider such an idea... and she was silent since she saw no problem with being the same age as my daughter... She only asked me again for a relationship. The inability to grasp the reality of what I said is Chinese to the core. At least I got the last laugh by being able to step backwards and see the future together.

 

 

Actually this whole exchange as solidified my resolve to move forward. And Lili is right there by my side, giving me hope, and making me see the possibilities of what we could have.There are many people that have met their spouse in China and other places in the world and not even been able to speak the same language and with an age difference, even many people on this site, and have been successful.

 

I was hung up on the age difference for quite a while, what other people might think, what would happen in the future, if it was right, those kinds of things. Then it occurred to me, this is a person that I’ve been relating to for months why would I let the math hurt us both when we enjoy being together so much? What I realized was that’s it much more important to look at how we communicate, what we give each other, how we solve problems, how we are together, if there is a problem with maturity or difference of culture then it will appear there. We’ve actually spoken many times about how we would handle our different philosophies and differences. But in reality we see things eye to eye more than in different directions.

 

Sure cultural differences can cause a problem, but at the same time they can make life so interesting. I have travelled through China since 2008 and really love the culture and am willing to embrace part of that into my life. At the same time she’s been exposed to a lot of western culture and she’s willing to embrace it as well.

 

Part of the problem is that the focus is on the number too much. My philosophies on life are even different than my own sister. And many people who are the exact same age don’t see life the same way, so why not focus on the reality of the relationship and not what it looks like on paper? Also everyone has different life experiences and all 22 year olds aren’t at the same maturity level, and I don’t have a daughter to worry about her opinion.

 

What I’ve come to realize is that some of the advice given here is tainted by personal opinions, so I don’t know how much I can’t trust some of it. But I really do appreciate those that have been supportive.

Edited October 18, 2012 by Roebel (see edit history)