What does the average citizen think of Americans

[amberjack1234]

I've know this all along. Chinese man are the kings of having double standards. They all want to have sex before marriage, college etc, but when it comes to marriage they will only have a virgin. Same goes for a divorced woman. Most will not marry a divorced woman, especially if she has a child but they still don't want them to marry a foreigner, what gives on this. Perhaps Jesse, Randy or some of the others that live there now and know many of the Chinese men personal point of views, could shed some light on this matter better than we can. What do they want them to do grow old and lonely or perhaps be present when one of them gets horny. When, say ones boss wants her because he knows she can't afford to lose her job? What is her choices?

 

Back up a little now to the part where we get the dirty stairs and dirty remarks on the street. How does a Chinese man or a Chinese woman know, from you and your lady walking down the street together, that she has been married before and whether or not she has children. They can't unless they know her personally. Which is unlikely. The simple truth is that these kind of commenter and observers just don't like foreigners or at the very least don't like them messing with their women.

 

Here is my take. I sometimes, considering China's rise in the world in the last 12 years, kind of expect the their social issues to escalate as fast and they are not staring, making rude remarks in public, spitting, peeing on the sidewalk or public places etc. is just not catching up as fast.

 

I can remember very well in the mid 60"s that seeing a African-American with a Caucasian woman walking hand and hand down the sidewalk DID attract a LOT of unwanted attention. Now there is not a second look, at least where I live. I think that you get my drift. So I guess that I am going to just have to be more patient, I suppose, but I don't have that much time left to be that patient.

 

Larry

[sweetnov]

What Does Ordinary Chinese People Want to Ask America

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFc53S4JRcM&t=17s

[DennisLeiqin]

What Does Ordinary Chinese People Want to Ask America

 

Awesome!...such varied comments and questions...makes me wonder what Americans would want to ask Chinese...

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

I've know this all along. Chinese man are the kings of having double standards. They all want to have sex before marriage, college etc, but when it comes to marriage they will only have a virgin. Same goes for a divorced woman. Most will not marry a divorced woman, especially if she has a child but they still don't want them to marry a foreigner, what gives on this. Perhaps Jesse, Randy or some of the others that live there now and know many of the Chinese men personal point of views, could shed some light on this matter better than we can. What do they want them to do grow old and lonely or perhaps be present when one of them gets horny. When, say ones boss wants her because he knows she can't afford to lose her job? What is her choices?

 

Back up a little now to the part where we get the dirty stairs and dirty remarks on the street. How does a Chinese man or a Chinese woman know, from you and your lady walking down the street together, that she has been married before and whether or not she has children. They can't unless they know her personally. Which is unlikely. The simple truth is that these kind of commenter and observers just don't like foreigners or at the very least don't like them messing with their women.

 

Here is my take. I sometimes, considering China's rise in the world in the last 12 years, kind of expect the their social issues to escalate as fast and they are not staring, making rude remarks in public, spitting, peeing on the sidewalk or public places etc. is just not catching up as fast.

 

I can remember very well in the mid 60"s that seeing a African-American with a Caucasian woman walking hand and hand down the sidewalk DID attract a LOT of unwanted attention. Now there is not a second look, at least where I live. I think that you get my drift. So I guess that I am going to just have to be more patient, I suppose, but I don't have that much time left to be that patient.

 

Larry

 

Good post Larry. I agree with your observations. I have noticed that it can be very challenging to get a Chinese man's viewpoint as they seem to have a picture in mind to say what they think you want to hear. However, when you go to their blogs, or get them drinking, you see a completely different face. Chinese by nature are not openly vocal whiners about things. We Americans like to get things out in the open, which can make Chinese people very uncomfortable.

[tsap seui]

What Does Ordinary Chinese People Want to Ask America

 

Awesome!...such varied comments and questions...makes me wonder what Americans would want to ask Chinese...

 

I agree Dennis, that was pretty darn cool to see their questions. It reminded me of the questions my Chinese family has asked me in the past, or taxi drivers with Wenyan telling me what they asked. Funny, I got asked basically the same questions in Australia and New Zealand as I did in China and what was asked in the video.

 

At large.....I dunno, I am very comfortable with the Chinese peoples and when I am in their country I feel at home and comfortable too. People are just people. No matter where you go, some have prejudices, some are even racists, but at the end of the day we're all basically the same.

 

I would never be so high and mighty of an American to judge whatever the Chinese folks think of me, good or bad. That is their right and what their own personal lifes experiences have shown them.

 

Good grief, the bullshit we have been fed about the Chinese for so many years, and the Russians...LOL...all that commie crap and God is on "our" side. Ain't no fool gonna ever tell me that there ain't no racism in this country. It starts at the top. You'd have to be blind not to see it.

 

All the shit I went through with US Customs officials and the State Department bastards...I love America and it is my choice to live here, but brother....my eyes are not closed, my brain is intact, and my name is not Pollyanna. I was spoon fed propaganda and conjecture horse shit from an early age. We ain't no damn better, or different than anyone else we point our finger at.

 

tsap seui

The above was only Mr. seui's observations from hisowndamn life experiences, others may have led a more sheltered and delicate life.

[Randy W]

I've know this all along. Chinese man are the kings of having double standards. They all want to have sex before marriage, college etc, but when it comes to marriage they will only have a virgin. Same goes for a divorced woman. Most will not marry a divorced woman, especially if she has a child but they still don't want them to marry a foreigner, what gives on this. Perhaps Jesse, Randy or some of the others that live there now and know many of the Chinese men personal point of views, could shed some light on this matter better than we can. What do they want them to do grow old and lonely or perhaps be present when one of them gets horny. When, say ones boss wants her because he knows she can't afford to lose her job? What is her choices?

 

Back up a little now to the part where we get the dirty stairs and dirty remarks on the street. How does a Chinese man or a Chinese woman know, from you and your lady walking down the street together, that she has been married before and whether or not she has children. They can't unless they know her personally. Which is unlikely. The simple truth is that these kind of commenter and observers just don't like foreigners or at the very least don't like them messing with their women.

 

Here is my take. I sometimes, considering China's rise in the world in the last 12 years, kind of expect the their social issues to escalate as fast and they are not staring, making rude remarks in public, spitting, peeing on the sidewalk or public places etc. is just not catching up as fast.

 

I can remember very well in the mid 60"s that seeing a African-American with a Caucasian woman walking hand and hand down the sidewalk DID attract a LOT of unwanted attention. Now there is not a second look, at least where I live. I think that you get my drift. So I guess that I am going to just have to be more patient, I suppose, but I don't have that much time left to be that patient.

 

Larry

 

In the South, also a few unwanted bullets - but this was not about the women, it was about prejudice against the blacks. I don't feel any prejudice here, either toward me or my marriage, but, of course, I believe what others are saying.

 

What is different in China is that I see no indication that there's even any THOUGHT of changing. Many of these attitudes took a generation or more to change, i.e. the old thought patterns dieing off, while new ones take hold in the younger generation. I saw that in our next door neighbors in La Porte - he would NEVER have associated with a black, but yet allowed his son to bring a black friend home to visit.

 

The trash is perhaps the most visible artifact of their upbringing - children are taught to simply toss their litter wherever they are. Here, too, there's absolutely no thought of changing this very ugly habit. Once the thought DOES occur to this culture, it'll take several generations for it to really take hold. I remember the highways of the 50's and early 60's - we knew they were ugly, but it took a major clean-up effort to really change attitudes. I don't see that anyone in China really cares.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

The trash is perhaps the most visible artifact of their upbringing - children are taught to simply toss their litter wherever they are. Here, too, there's absolutely no thought of changing this very ugly habit. Once the thought DOES occur to this culture, it'll take several generations for it to really take hold. I remember the highways of the 50's and early 60's - we knew they were ugly, but it took a major clean-up effort to really change attitudes. I don't see that anyone in China really cares.

 

Yes, the trash. Some cities are a little better than others; like Shanghai, Beijing, and Shenzhen, but still a big problem. There is an attitude that what is thrown, will be picked up by the "cleaners." Even here at my office, we have more than 500 young Chinese educated men and women. As they walk the courtyards, and halls, you will often see a few who simply toss trash right on the floor, or ground without a second thought. And, you also see me follow right behind and pick it up and toss it in the wastecan; hopefully while they see me do it.

[honeybun]

I had a long comment written, but it disappeared. Anyway... Randy W, have you talked to your wife about whether she feels any prejudice? It would be an amazing place to live in China where you can both experience no prejudice toward you or your relationship.

 

DanB, about promotions and being passed over by less qualified minorities in the USA. The difference is, in China, what we would call discrimination is legal. Potential employers can request a particular age, height/weight, sex, race, etc. When you apply, your resume contains a photograph of yourself. The decision can be based just on this info if they please. During the Olympics, Uigurs were monitored by the government and had a curfew. I agree there is racism and discrimination in both places, and likewise in both places there are people who are biased and not biased, and regions that tend to have more racist people than others. However, in my opinion there is little comparison to be made on whole between the US and China. China is an unfair place in many, many ways, and therefore it's not surprising that people don't tend to be concerned about fairness based on color.

[bullmastiff]

I think Chinese in general like Americans. They are just taking advantage of the situation for commercial reasons. That's all ....

We , on the other hand, in this country , in general , don't like Chinese ! there is an overall sentiment and dislikes for various reasons.

 

They are by far much better than Middle Eastern or Mexican . Trust me !

One thing I do respect is their no non sense approach to law enforcement . It is a much safer place than in the US.

[Randy W]

I had a long comment written, but it disappeared. Anyway... Randy W, have you talked to your wife about whether she feels any prejudice? It would be an amazing place to live in China where you can both experience no prejudice toward you or your relationship.

 

. . .

 

None that we especially notice or care about or. She'll occasionally have me wait outside or be somewhere else when she asks about a price

 

One thing I do notice, though, is a blank look (that I can't read) we occasionally get from both males and females first looking at one of us then the other.

[griz326]

People are racist and discriminatory by nature; it is a survival mechanism.

 

My father-in-law is not happy that his daughter married me. He is not happy that his grand-daughter is not at home with him in Nanning. My mother-in-law loves me because I take care of her daughter and grand-daughter. I doubt that either of my brothers-in-law hold me in high esteem; although taking care of their family and my family is not lost on them.

 

My wife decided that for the best interests of her daughter and her own hopes, marrying an old, fat, ugly, American fart was a good plan.

 

She's a great woman. Both she and her daughter have taken great care of me in the last year when I was so close to death. There are many married American men whose wife is not as loyal and reliable as my Lao Po.

 

Presuming I live into old age with my Lao Po, it concerns me that I will never really know her the way that I want to know her because we lack the words to truly communicate on an intimate level.

[rgranlund]

China is very complex and constantly changing. Many young people idolize the West: just look at all the billboards advertising western name brand perfumes and T-shirts with anything written in English. However, many older hard-line Communist Party members, some of who may still remember fighting us in the Korean War, are very anti-American. My personal experiences are varied. My fiancee's son encouraged her to seek a mate via the computer. We were both wary, but we were both willing to overcome our skepticism and get to know each other deeper. I have found my fiancee to be very open-minded and brave. I view her as I would a pioneer who first came West in a covered wagon. Imagine how scary yet exciting it must be. It really irks me when closed-minded Americans make inconsiderate comments like: They just want to use you to become a US citizen; or, How old is she (assuming that I am a "cradle robber" which I am not). Firstly, China's economy is stronger than the U.S.'s economy. Secondly, my fiancee has no intention of becoming a U.S. citizen. Thirdly, we were both looking for loving companionship for lifetime with someone similarly minded and of about the same age and educational level. This being said, not all of my experiences in China were rosy. My fiancee would drop my hand and look away from me when we pulled up with one square block of her apartment complex (where we did not stay more than a few hours). She explained to me that "many eyes are watching." Even though she does not wish to hurt my feelings, she has her family to consider. How will her family be treated after she is gone? On the way back from my first trip to China, a Chinese tour group bound for NYC and Las Vegas, engaged me in lengthy conversation. My friend wanted me to know the meaning of meiguo, meaning beautiful land, and hence meiguoren meaning people of the beautiful land. I heard the "oohs" and "ahhs" as we approached JFK from above on a cloudless day with no smog to be seen. They were fascinated by the fact that we can own guns. My friend said that he wished he could shoot a gun. I seemed as if he viewed my like John Wayne. I applaud the efforts of President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to expand private support for more college students studying Mandarin. If we are to dispel stereotypes on both sides of the water, and we are to resolve world problems, we need understand one another better. My niece, Yuhe, studies English in primary school. English, German, and Japanese are the three most popular secondary languages. The same does not hold true of U.S. college students; very few study Mandarin as a second language.

[credzba]

People are racist and discriminatory by nature; it is a survival mechanism.

 

My father-in-law is not happy that his daughter married me. He is not happy that his grand-daughter is not at home with him in Nanning. My mother-in-law loves me because I take care of her daughter and grand-daughter. I doubt that either of my brothers-in-law hold me in high esteem; although taking care of their family and my family is not lost on them.

 

My wife decided that for the best interests of her daughter and her own hopes, marrying an old, fat, ugly, American fart was a good plan.

 

She's a great woman. Both she and her daughter have taken great care of me in the last year when I was so close to death. There are many married American men whose wife is not as loyal and reliable as my Lao Po.

 

Presuming I live into old age with my Lao Po, it concerns me that I will never really know her the way that I want to know her because we lack the words to truly communicate on an intimate level.

 

I think this way as well.

Being close to death can help a person focus on reality, and get past the rationalization fog.

[Richard & Li]

What an interesting thread! It brought back many memories of my experiences in China; like a guy riding his bicycle into the back of a bus while he was staring at me (he was not injured). Speaking of busses, another memorable thing was when a bus would go by with people hanging out of the windows waving at me and shouting 'hello'.

 

I found that the amount of overt reaction to my mere presence was dependent upon the amount of exposure the city had to foreigners. My wife's hometown is one of the worst places I've been in that regard. There is no tourism there and the quantity of people staring at me became almost a physical pressure. I felt no animosity, in fact almost every face was smiling, but it was just too much; after a month or so, I ended up wanting to stay indoors most of the time.

 

Conversely, in cities like Shanghai & Hangzhou; few people had any reaction at all to seeing me.

 

I don't really believe that Americans are much different. We have just been so indoctrinated in 'political correctness' that we are experts in concealing anything considered by our culture to be 'politically incorrect'. The feelings and prejudices still exist; we are just uncomfortable being honest about it whereas most Chinese are not. (For me, working in a very politically correct environment, this is a somewhat refreshing aspect of Chinese culture.)

 

This extends to business. In America, a business would be sued out of existence by the government itself if they were caught using discriminatory pricing. In China, it's common practice. My wife, like most everyone's, would never allow me to purchase anything in China, because I would be charged an extravagant price. But, since I only know a few common phrases in Mandarin, it would have been nearly impossible to shop by myself anyway.

 

One thing I read in this thread that I don't believe is that all the smiles and friendliness are disingenuous. Of course, some are (the ones who want something from us), but, so many people only wanted to say 'hello' and asked for nothing other than a few words with me, I have to believe they were completely genuinely, friendly, nice people.

Edited May 26, 2012 by Richard & Li (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

My wife said that she had had several marriage proposals after her divorce (and one child), but from what I see here, that's unusual.

IMO, it would depend if the men were single (as in never married) or divorced; If single then it would be surprising; if divorced it is less surprising and more expected.