Starting Over - Needing some Advice

[jtaylo69]

Hi Everyone,

 

I know it's been at least 6 years since I was on here & it looks like I'll be back for a while as, unfortunately recently, I found out that the lady that "I THOUGHT" was the woman of my dreams, turns out that like many we've read on here before, was acutally using me to get here to the USA from China. Now that she has her education, a new car and a great job, she's decided that she doesn't want to be with anyone and that she doesn't want to love anyone.

 

Sooo, Fantastice. The world changes every day and we must be willing to make the chage with it, right?

 

Ok, here is my current situation and hopefully we have folks here that have either already gone through the process or is currently doing so.

 

I've met a delightful young lady who is form Pagadin City located in the Philppines. While her age is a bit of a concern for me, (She's 20 years younger than me) everything else dose seem to be going nicely. She's a little quirky but very conservative.

 

What I would like to know is the full scoop. The entire process that i will need to expect, ie, what forms first, second, etc. All of the steps, in order. How much I can expect to have to pay etc. Interviews processes / requirements, medical requirements, who to pay, when ... the whole shibang.

 

Any info would be GREATLY Appriecated..

 

Thanks

Jim

[Yuanyang]

Age shouldn't be an issue (I'm +16 years). Others have more.

[dnoblett]

Manilla can be just as bad as Guangzhou, so better establish a strong relationship along with evidence and provide this up front when filing any petition.

 

There are two paths, Get married first and then file an I-130 for a CR-1 spouse visa, or file and I-129F for a K-1 fiancee visa and marry later.

 

There is a third visa (K3) however this was developed at a time when getting a spouse visa was taking an excessively long time, it allowed spouse to come to the USA and wait for spouse petition approval, however since petition approval is happening BEFORE K-3 can be processed, the NVC closes the K-3 and proceeds on with the underlying spouse visa.

 

Study the forums, and ask questions before you file the petition.

 

Some places to start:

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?/topic/16183-newbie-links/

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?autocom=custom&page=i130guide1 (Spouse Visa)

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?autocom=custom&page=k1guide (Fiancee Visa)

 

 

Other considerations are: Is there a step-child involved? Will the step child be age 18 or older at time of marriage? If already age 18 but less than 20, DO the K-1 if you want to bring step child to the USA, if less than age 18 then consider marriage overseas and filing for spouse and step-child visa.

 

Costs:

 

Here are the costs breakdowns, visa petition filing to green-card..

 

I-130 CR-1/CR-2 Spouse/Step child case

• I-130 $420 each
  
• DS-230 $330 + $74 Each
  
• I-864 (IF I-130 is filed in the USA) $88
  
• Total $824 each DCF, $912 each if filed petition in the USA
  
• Grand Total $1648 DCF, $1824 if filed in the states.
  

I-129F K1/K2 Fiancee visa

• I-129F $340 (Just for K-1, K-2 gets a derivitive visa)
  
• K-Visa fee at Consulate $350 each
  
• I-485 fee for green cards after marriage $1070 each
  
• Total $1760 for K-1 and $1420 for the K-2
  
• Grand Total $3180
  

I-130 + I-129F K3/K4

• I-130 $420 each
  
• I-129F (No charge)
  
• Petitions reach NVC
  
• Takes the K-3/4 path, if somehow I-129F is seperated and approved before I-130 at USCIS
  
  • K-Visa fee at Consulate $350 each.
    
  • I-485 $1070 each to adjust status after arriving on a K-3/K-4
    
  • Grand Total $3680
    

  [*]Takes the CR-1/CR-2 path if USCIS sends both CR-1/CR-2 and K-Visa petitions to NVC

  • DS-230 $330 + $74 each
    
  • I-864 $88
    
  • Grand total $1824
    

I did not add costs for Medical, Vaccinations and Postage, it is essentially the same in any case.

[jtaylo69]

Great info there. Thanks.

 

Here is what she worte to me last night. Not sure if what she's saying is true, (Just seems weird in comparison what I went through there in Guangzhou)

 

"you dont have to do that to immigration just for me to come there.,we know each other that it was very expensive,i need to have a property here a house and a lot and i need to have a business and most of all i need to have a money on the bank 200 thousand and above.,see that is the major project that needs to apply a visa here thats why i ask you to come here 1st and go to the immigration here and be clear about all the requirements soo that you will know ok.,i wish you understand about what i said.,pls pls pls do not make a move that can make you pay big.,you must come here 1st jim and get the requirements,do it step by step not a hurry"

 

What can you all make of this? Is she being miss informed or is there something underlying here?

[jtaylo69]

Oh yeah, it might help If I state the route i am planning. Since she does not have any children, I was thinking of doing the K1 again. I guess mainly becuase it is what I did the last time.

[DennisLeiqin]

Great info there. Thanks.

 

Here is what she worte to me last night. Not sure if what she's saying is true, (Just seems weird in comparison what I went through there in Guangzhou)

 

"you dont have to do that to immigration just for me to come there.,we know each other that it was very expensive,i need to have a property here a house and a lot and i need to have a business and most of all i need to have a money on the bank 200 thousand and above.,see that is the major project that needs to apply a visa here thats why i ask you to come here 1st and go to the immigration here and be clear about all the requirements soo that you will know ok.,i wish you understand about what i said.,pls pls pls do not make a move that can make you pay big.,you must come here 1st jim and get the requirements,do it step by step not a hurry"

 

What can you all make of this? Is she being miss informed or is there something underlying here?

The visa that she seems to have in her mind is a tourist visa not spousal visa that you are asking about. All of the requirements that she lists are need to visit here on a tourist visa.

[dnoblett]

Tourist or business. Keep in mind if she it thinking of using a tourist/business visa like a fiancee visa, and coming to the USA get married and the adjust status this is visa fraud, don't do it.

 

If immigrations is intent then use an immigrations visa, NOT a visitors visa.

 

http://manila.usembassy.gov/wwwh3023/general-information.html

[Doug]

I remember your mug. Good Luck.

[jtaylo69]

Great info there. Thanks.

 

Here is what she worte to me last night. Not sure if what she's saying is true, (Just seems weird in comparison what I went through there in Guangzhou)

 

"you dont have to do that to immigration just for me to come there.,we know each other that it was very expensive,i need to have a property here a house and a lot and i need to have a business and most of all i need to have a money on the bank 200 thousand and above.,see that is the major project that needs to apply a visa here thats why i ask you to come here 1st and go to the immigration here and be clear about all the requirements soo that you will know ok.,i wish you understand about what i said.,pls pls pls do not make a move that can make you pay big.,you must come here 1st jim and get the requirements,do it step by step not a hurry"

 

What can you all make of this? Is she being miss informed or is there something underlying here?

The visa that she seems to have in her mind is a tourist visa not spousal visa that you are asking about. All of the requirements that she lists are need to visit here on a tourist visa.

 

So I am guessing that viturally everything as I remembered is the same, except uncle same got greedier. Right?

 

Are they just as slow as before? The last time, it took over 2 years to get the ex here.

 

What else can I expect.

 

Thanks all

[dnoblett]

So I am guessing that viturally everything as I remembered is the same, except uncle same got greedier. Right?

 

Are they just as slow as before? The last time, it took over 2 years to get the ex here.

 

What else can I expect.

 

Thanks all

Actually much quicker.

 

USCIS 2-6 months

NVC a month or so..

Consulate 1-2 months.

[jtaylo69]

So I am guessing that viturally everything as I remembered is the same, except uncle same got greedier. Right?

 

Are they just as slow as before? The last time, it took over 2 years to get the ex here.

 

What else can I expect.

 

Thanks all

Actually much quicker.

 

USCIS 2-6 months

NVC a month or so..

Consulate 1-2 months.

 

Holy Crap!! That's AWESOME!!

 

How many times will I (Or should I ) actually go there to be with her? I know at least once. Being a truck driver that is gone 3 - 4 months at a time now (Now that I have an ex) I rally can't afford to spend several weeks at a time there. I am hoping to be able to go later this year for about a week, but the next time I'd be able to go would be the middle of next year.

[knloregon]

I'd suggest much more time together.

 

I haven't been to the Philippines, but its got some obvious advantages, in that many (if not most) speak English. Is she Catholic ? If so, are you? ---are you going to Church with her---and her family?

 

Is she from a large family? If so, have you met them?---and how do they feel about you? ---from what I have read, the age difference is probably of even less importance in the Philippines than it is in China, but like China, there is a strong family bond---she may push that to the background to get what she wants, short term---travel to America---with you---but if you aren't part of her extended family back in the Philippines.........

 

..... Will it last any longer than round one?

[jtaylo69]

I'd suggest much more time together.

 

I haven't been to the Philippines, but its got some obvious advantages, in that many (if not most) speak English. Is she Catholic ? If so, are you? ---are you going to Church with her---and her family?

 

Is she from a large family? If so, have you met them?---and how do they feel about you? ---from what I have read, the age difference is probably of even less importance in the Philippines than it is in China, but like China, there is a strong family bond---she may push that to the background to get what she wants, short term---travel to America---with you---but if you aren't part of her extended family back in the Philippines.........

 

..... Will it last any longer than round one?

 

From what I can gather, she's not from a big family. No, I have not been there yet but soooooo Ready to go. We;ve chatted online for about a year, called her more times than my phone bill can handle, LOL. She's not very religious. I want so much to learn more about their culture, but many places on the net only gives bits & pieces. If I knew more, it would hopefully help me to understand more about them, LOL

[DennisLeiqin]

I'd suggest much more time together.

 

I haven't been to the Philippines, but its got some obvious advantages, in that many (if not most) speak English. Is she Catholic ? If so, are you? ---are you going to Church with her---and her family?

 

Is she from a large family? If so, have you met them?---and how do they feel about you? ---from what I have read, the age difference is probably of even less importance in the Philippines than it is in China, but like China, there is a strong family bond---she may push that to the background to get what she wants, short term---travel to America---with you---but if you aren't part of her extended family back in the Philippines.........

 

..... Will it last any longer than round one?

 

From what I can gather, she's not from a big family. No, I have not been there yet but soooooo Ready to go. We;ve chatted online for about a year, called her more times than my phone bill can handle, LOL. She's not very religious. I want so much to learn more about their culture, but many places on the net only gives bits & pieces. If I knew more, it would hopefully help me to understand more about them, LOL

Allow to add to Kim's question a bit...

 

From your posts you seem wild eyed and giddy again, which is good, but does that cloud your judgement? Meaning, what did you learn from your first try? What warnings, red flags, did you ignore that you won't this time?

Why not search for someone already here? If it's an Asian woman you want, there are many here looking for a good man. Have you given them a try?

 

From what others on this board did successfully on their second try was to marry in China, live a while or visit frequently with extended stays to develop very solid relationships before attempting to file. Are you also considering how important it is that you leave no doubt in the VO's mind that your relationship is more than just infatuation after a visit or two with email promises?

 

Good luck to you.

Edited April 14, 2012 by DennisLeiqin (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

probably the biggest thing I learned my first time was the life experience difference was a direct translate of age difference. I went into the first time with a list of requirements including married with child, etc , but I decided to let go of these 'requirements'. In the end, they were the problem.

 

Second time around, I found someone who seems to understand life much better than me and has survive with much less without really wanting more. Her concerns center on her husband (me) and her daughter. Everything else is small stuff.

 

I would seriously consider this as the second time here seems to be getting less life experience and you'll not know the ramifications until 2+ years together.