Our Chinese spouses don't want to live among Chinese...

[NickF]

Interestingly, since ChunMei started looking for another nanny position something unusual has emerged. She's been looking to work for a Chinese family, and in the past two weeks she's talked to three different families. The first question from each of the three has been, "Is your husband Chinese?"

 

When she tells them that her husband is American they don't even want to talk to her further.

 

Not sure why this is.

[Mick]

Interestingly, since ChunMei started looking for another nanny position something unusual has emerged. She's been looking to work for a Chinese family, and in the past two weeks she's talked to three different families. The first question from each of the three has been, "Is your husband Chinese?"

 

When she tells them that her husband is American they don't even want to talk to her further.

 

Not sure why this is.

Don't know for sure, but it could be that the Chinese family might expect the Nanny to work long hours and be on call at a moment's notice. They may think an American husband would object to such an arrangement. I know this very thing happened to a couple we know in a nearby city (Nashville). The couple in question owned a restaurant (or maybe two) and worked from 9am until around 1am each day, seven days a week. They wanted the Nanny to be there from 8am until 1am, seven days a week. The same thing happened. When they found out she had an American husband, they thanked her for applying and showed her the door.

[chilton747]

Interestingly, since ChunMei started looking for another nanny position something unusual has emerged. She's been looking to work for a Chinese family, and in the past two weeks she's talked to three different families. The first question from each of the three has been, "Is your husband Chinese?"

 

When she tells them that her husband is American they don't even want to talk to her further.

 

Not sure why this is.

 

Been there done that. They do not trust American husbands as they feel they will cause trouble for them. Many Chinese here are working "under the table" if you know what I mean and they fear that an American will blow their cover.

[ChrisA]

Chilton,

 

A true statement, nothing like a divorce. The down-side from this when it comes to Tax Time if she has a business, and she has unreported income, she dead in the water. In my case, I have chosen to file separately, so I know we both will get Audtied, I have nothing to hide, but boy she sure has a lot to hide. In 2010 she hired a new CPA after 6 months, I confronnted the CPA with the actual figures, the CPA quit immiediate, all I heard on the drive back to the store was" you cause me much trouble", she went back to the previous CPA and started the same BS all over again. If she thinks life is hard now, just wait until IRS gets a hold of her, then ICE, good by never to return.

 

The moral of the store is: Ladies, don't screw your husband, listen to him as he knows more about American law then your friends, if you disregard this vitial input, not only are you screwing yourself in the long run, but you risk the lost of your husband, just about every American husband doesn't want to get mixed up with legal issue when it's directed at us personally. There is an old saying "believe half of what you hear, because there is a lot of BS in between" if your unsure ask you husband and listen.

Edited April 25, 2012 by Chris&lijun (see edit history)

[DennisLeiqin]

Here in SoCal, to get around getting audited for doing large cash transactions Chinese businessmen and women use travelers checks. Apparently, they can exchange TCs in amounts over the $10000 bank transaction that a bank must report to the IRS. Instead of keeping large sums of cash on hand, these business persons are safe and secure having travelers checks.

 

My wife infrequently gets paid with a personal check and frequently gets paid in TCs. I guess my income is large enough that the small amount that I deposit from her income isn't significant enough to raise any flags.

 

The only drawback to her not having deductions is that she has no SS income of her own to look forward to.

[ChrisA]

Just isn't the case here, she's simming all the cash from the business and reporting CC income only, pays her comission based employees 50/50 cash/check, this leave a small paper trail for the books. Per my lawyer, should I have agreed to file jointly, then I would have agreed to her numbers, which I don't. She did sell the business 6/2011, hasn't reported the Capital Gains to her CPA and it isn't on her final P&L statement and is still claiming the comissions that have already been paid, double dipping on comission expense?

 

Per her Taxes in 2010, she reported a loss of -$17K on $195K of gross income, I told my lawyer to take the comission expense out of the P&L statements, and you have a fairly close Income Statement. Hasn't paid any taxes period. In 2011 was a gross income of $105K, what being reported is a joke, and now that she has to file separately, it should be real interesting to see how see handles the audit.

 

So even when I tried to set the record straight, meeting with our Pastor in Nov 2010, to explain what makes up gross income, she didn't listen and continued as business as usual, little did she know, she was comiiting TF, all because she listened to people who said she could make a lot of money under the table and she to this day thinks she will get away with it cheating the system. Funny, that 6 weeks ago, there was a couple who had appealed there conviction to the Surprem Court, and lost, because they made the same mistake my current is making, 20 years ago, and there getting deported for it.

[knloregon]

C & J, I feel for you ~ ! ----hope you have run your very prudent position of filing separate returns past a tax attorney --- as you describe, seems to me, there is just so much possible exposure still unaccounted for on your part. There must be other additional steps which you can take to protect your own position --- and future.

 

To put this in perspective, consider how the IRS might view the worst case scenario of your current position: Could they infer--separate filing aside--- that you are supporting her enterprise?

[Randy W]

C & J, I feel for you ~ ! ----hope you have run your very prudent position of filing separate returns past a tax attorney --- as you describe, seems to me, there is just so much possible exposure still unaccounted for on your part. There must be other additional steps which you can take to protect your own position --- and future.

 

To put this in perspective, consider how the IRS might view the worst case scenario of your current position: Could they infer--separate filing aside--- that you are supporting her enterprise?

 

That wouldn't seem to be something Chris ought to be discussing on a public board, beyond what he's already said.

[david_dawei]

I don't think any of it is worth discussing on a public board myself... sounds too self-serving and righteous moralism.. who really cares about how far a husband will go to distance themselves from their wife? Maybe write a book.