Hello from Florida! Help me out!!!

[david_dawei]

By the time we have our interview come around, we will have known each other for near 5 years, and would have been romantically involved for about 1 1/2 years. Given our situation, I cant think of any reason they could find to deny us a K1.

To me... your back to a distracting point... can you prove you have known each other for 5 years? Can you prove it is the same lady you knew before?

 

I would be careful of stating exact time unless you can show it with some proof. I would keep the prior thing very simply stated; not as how long you have known each other.

 

I think your trying to use that as leverage as a length of the relationship but without really hard proof I think you'll have to keep it a little more simple as others have advised. The VO is known to ask to see 'early' communication... what if they asked for something from the 'first meeting'... you can see how it can get denied real quick if you press a point which cannot be supported with evidence. Then it's game over. You want the VO to believe what you write. And they are willing to... but sometimes they want to 'verify' with some simple questions or request for evidence.

[Ryan H]

The real question is, how did all of you do it? How were you able to keep from going nuts with worry? Does it get easier? How do you guys handle shutting the computer and resting?

 

IMO, the very nature of this process lends itself to paranoia, overthinking, and second guessing (I did all 3 at various points going through the visa journey tunnel). You already have received good advice that you are taking to heart. I wish you the best going forward.

[Bparks777]

By the time we have our interview come around, we will have known each other for near 5 years, and would have been romantically involved for about 1 1/2 years. Given our situation, I cant think of any reason they could find to deny us a K1.

To me... your back to a distracting point... can you prove you have known each other for 5 years? Can you prove it is the same lady you knew before?

 

I would be careful of stating exact time unless you can show it with some proof. I would keep the prior thing very simply stated; not as how long you have known each other.

 

I think your trying to use that as leverage as a length of the relationship but without really hard proof I think you'll have to keep it a little more simple as others have advised. The VO is known to ask to see 'early' communication... what if they asked for something from the 'first meeting'... you can see how it can get denied real quick if you press a point which cannot be supported with evidence. Then it's game over. You want the VO to believe what you write. And they are willing to... but sometimes they want to 'verify' with some simple questions or request for evidence.

 

So in my situation would you just hold the first time we can provide physical evidence as our first meeting?

I know I'm pretty much asking you to spoon feed me, please bare with me.

Edited February 25, 2012 by Bparks777 (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

I would keep it simple as Randy suggested; First meet and just chatted as friends. Lost connection and reconnected later... chatted as friends... and the rest is history. When you talk about your "relationship", I am simply suggesting you may want to be careful how to put a time frame around it. If you say we have known each other for 5 years the VO could assume she knows practically every detailed part of your life... A VO (like in my wife's case) could decide to start asking very, very specific and detailed questions to confirm this. Around the time of our interview, the # 1 reason people were getting denied was because the lady did not know the USCs background and life to some questions.

[dnoblett]

So in my situation would you just hold the first time we can provide physical evidence as our first meeting?

I know I'm pretty much asking you to spoon feed me, please bare with me.

What they are trying to say, is met on line on a chat room sometime 4 or 5 years ago, but it was not until X (Documentable date) that your relationship got serious. You can say met in a chat room sometime 2007 or 2008 not sure the exact date, however got serious about this date (some date you have documented evidence for like email)

 

Typically this statement should easily fit in box on line 18 of form I-129F, for example my wife's I-129F went something like:

• Met on an online site (Date), exchanged emails (Date), started chatting (Date), Decided to meet each other (Date), Met in person (Date), Engaged (Date).
  

It really is that straight forward, you can say met in a chat room sometime around (date) lost contact from x-y, met again on Facebook (date), etc...

 

If you say sometime around and then lost contact, they will not delve into that history because there is no documentation just showing had a casual relationship a while back and after a set date which you can document your relationship became serious.

Edited February 25, 2012 by dnoblett (see edit history)

[Bparks777]

Ok so K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stupid. Straight forward, to the point got it.

[david_dawei]

Keep it as Fluff-free as possible... You may want to amp up the emotional description at times but realize this is your own desire... the government worker sees thousands a month... are you going to really convince them through "love" ??? So be very, very realistic as to what you say...

 

On the other hand, if your stoic as a chinese man... your likely to not express any emotion which is befitting to the relationship... so your challenge is to strike a balance between western sensational emotionalism and eastern stoicism... As the famous Triggister would quote, "Welcome to our nightmare".

[Bparks777]

I think I am starting to understand better. I am really starting to try to break down how I want to theme, and convey our case. I am starting to feel more confident, I know we will get the visa, just a matter of time, and persistence.

 

I refuse to believe the idea that Guangzhou consulates are monsters. I can't imagine they wake up with hopes of ruining good peoples relationships, and because we have a legit relationship, with nothing to hide, it's only a matter of properly portraying that. Im sure someone wouldn't live on the other side of the planet to do their job poorly, and the weight of our case being approved, is really in our hands, not to chance.

 

From what I have been studying we are far from any potential common red flags. She will have adequate financial support. All of our friends and family know, and support our decisions and would be willing to show this. We have plenty of evidence as to the validity of our relationship, will have proof of intent to marry (rings, engagement ceremonies (in traditional Chinese style, and dress "IM PUMPED how cool is that"), booked venues with floating dates, etc). We decided to be smart, rather then impulsive and wait to finish some matters before hand (school, getting some money saved) by time of interview, our relationship will have had time to properly mature. I will have 6-8 trips to see her under my belt, will be at the embassy for the interview. Her english is very proper which cannot hurt, no kids, no major age difference, no criminal background, a dislike towards the CCP. Documents will be front loaded and organized as well as possible.

 

I figure if I can properly, and precisely present all the above, without wasting their time I'm sure she wont have a problem.

 

Correct me if I am wrong, but general consensus is that the consulates decision will more than likely decided before even entering the interview. Based on the cold hard facts of the paper work , and proper front loaded documents. The interview is a chance to endorse their decision, or lose their decision. I cant imagine that they would simply deny our case, maybe at most issue a RFE, and in that case If I'm not mistaken for the most part, RFE's are sufficed and cases are overcome.

 

Sorry if the above is a bit fragmented. I am at work juggling papers, and researching this

[tsap seui]

With your family and friends all being behind you in this, a good thing would be to get personal letters from them attesting to their relationship to you and their knowledge of your relationship with your girlfriend. You could have the same thing written up and translated by any or your girlfriends friends in China who have met you and know about your relationship. I sent in 13 such letters in our initial application....7 from the China side and 6 from friends and family in America. All of the attestations were one or two pages.

 

Good luck with this. Take your time and study....know the process inside out. Your confidence will enhance your girlfriend's confidence, which will show at her interview.

 

tsap seui

[david_dawei]

I refuse to believe the idea that Guangzhou consulates are monsters. I can't imagine they wake up with hopes of ruining good peoples relationships, and because we have a legit relationship, with nothing to hide, it's only a matter of properly portraying that. Im sure someone wouldn't live on the other side of the planet to do their job poorly, and the weight of our case being approved, is really in our hands, not to chance.

Their only fault may be that they are empowered with the decision of who gets a visa to enter the US. Couple that with the known illegal immigration situation. Now add in that China is well known historically for this, particularly from certain provinces. Now add in that some try to use legal means (getting a visa) to get in the US with intentions of only wanting access to our benefits and way of life. Now realize that some will marry as an easy way to get the visa and even pay the american; some just hide their intention and marry with the plan to divorce.

 

And here you are, interview day... one of thousands that month... the VOs know a certain percent are probably less than honest in their paper work... so how to really determine who gets the visa??? (rhetorical... just showing that it's not so easy).

 

 

From what I have been studying we are far from any potential common red flags. She will have adequate financial support. All of our friends and family know, and support our decisions and would be willing to show this. We have plenty of evidence as to the validity of our relationship, will have proof of intent to marry (rings, engagement ceremonies (in traditional Chinese style, and dress "IM PUMPED how cool is that"), booked venues with floating dates, etc). We decided to be smart, rather then impulsive and wait to finish some matters before hand (school, getting some money saved) by time of interview, our relationship will have had time to properly mature. I will have 6-8 trips to see her under my belt, will be at the embassy for the interview. Her english is very proper which cannot hurt, no kids, no major age difference, no criminal background, a dislike towards the CCP. Documents will be front loaded and organized as well as possible.

 

I figure if I can properly, and precisely present all the above, without wasting their time I'm sure she wont have a problem.

Intent to marry is assumed. It does not need any proof. You can certainly say something to the effect that you will marry soon after arriving but your not really convincing them of anything they don't already know. Don't harp on this issue.

 

A relationship needs about 5 years to properly mature... They know people meet and decide to marry the first trip... Your in that impulsive and rash group now... That is not a proper and normal relationship anywhere around the world... but it is common in regards to visa relationships... so I would not try to convince them too strongly that waiting a few months is proof this relationship is maturing. They are more interested in how and why you meet and why you decided to do a visa so quickly... and maybe why you did not marry if your claiming a maturing wait took place.

 

Her dislike of the CCP is irrelevant. She is either a member or not. If not... there is nothing to state further.

 

The only issue I see is your age coupled with the impulsive decision to agree to do a visa together. It is not actually an agreement to marry but a request for a visa to marry in the US. You are among this group which shows up for interviews... On some level, you would look to see what sets you apart in this group... a much younger age than normal is not really a good thing; may not be a bad thing but it does set you apart.

 

 

Correct me if I am wrong, but general consensus is that the consulates decision will more than likely decided before even entering the interview. Based on the cold hard facts of the paper work , and proper front loaded documents. The interview is a chance to endorse their decision, or lose their decision. I cant imagine that they would simply deny our case, maybe at most issue a RFE, and in that case If I'm not mistaken for the most part, RFE's are sufficed and cases are overcome.

The case has clearly gone through a few hands. It is most likely annotated with some notes along the way. And the assignment of the VO seems to be much more intentional than one might otherwise want to believe. At Day 1 of the interview some materials are collected and added to the file. My wife said that this went very easily and the worker was smiling and quite nice... there was no indication to her for what she walked into the next day at the interview proper. So while Day 1 may add some material and possible some more notes it seems the VO assignment is probably set even before this. The interviewing VO is the one who makes the final determination but it would seem some pre-determinations have occurred.

[Bparks777]

I would like to add just for details sake, something I might of overlooked making known. We have talked in depth about us intending to be together, how to properly go about it, and the details involved. In spite of this there has not be an official proposal, and we are not technically engaged. I wanted to wait, and make it nice for her, bring a ring, get on a knee at Shanghai's pearl tower you know the whole 9 yards.

 

I already have 3 trips planned to go back to Shanghai this year. In conclusion of 2012 I will have been with her in January, May, August, and December. I am planning on making a proper proposal, and engagement in either August or December. We will have had about a year from our first physical meeting, and 3/4 trips before we are properly engaged and file our petition. I believe this should help in removing us from an impuslive category?

 

I would describe : Met in a chat room, Kept in contact through electronic means Facebook, Skype, IMessage. June 2011 started talking at an increasingly frequent basis, January 2012 physically met in Shanghai to celebrate the Chinese new year, after 2/3 returning trips decided we wanted to marry, August/December became engaged, filed petition shortly afterwards.

Edited February 27, 2012 by Bparks777 (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

I would like to add just for details sake, something I might of overlooked making known. We have talked in depth about us intending to be together, how to properly go about it, and the details involved. In spite of this there has not be an official proposal, and we are not technically engaged. I wanted to wait, and make it nice for her, bring a ring, get on a knee at Shanghai's pearl tower you know the whole 9 yards.

Is that they way she sees it too or only you? I would bet it is the latter... Most Chinese don't need formal proposals. It is a much more practical notion. But I am not sure if your trying to say that later you will describe the relationship as evolving over time and NOT until you actually did the formal proposal were you guys really in agreement as to deciding on a visa to marry in the US... My main concern with that would be that she would need to also have this story down-pat as she is the one who will answer to a VO face to face... anything you write or convey, she needs to be able to answer and explain. If she is asked: When were you guys engaged? I would not doubt that some (many) chinese put that date much earlier than most USCs would.

 

 

I already have 3 trips planned to go back to Shanghai this year. In conclusion of 2012 I will have been with her in January, May, August, and December. I am planning on making a proper proposal, and engagement in either August or December. We will have had about a year from our first physical meeting, and 3/4 trips before we are properly engaged and file our petition. I believe this should help in removing us from an impuslive category?

It would not be beyond the VO to ask how you are paying for all these trips... This is actually not so uncommon. If you both agree to how your story unfolds, this sounds less impulsive.

 

I would describe : Met in a chat room, Kept in contact through electronic means Facebook, Skype, IMessage. June 2011 started talking at an increasingly frequent basis, January 2012 physically met in Shanghai to celebrate the Chinese new year, after 2/3 returning trips decided we wanted to marry, August/December became engaged, filed petition shortly afterwards.

Only issue is the lost contact is not mentioned... so they are free to ask about that first meeting and early chats (which don't exist). Saying you lost contact (her contact info and your account) is ok and re-connected a few years later... I am more inclined towards this... it is the truth and the truth is usually easier to remember for both sides.

[Bparks777]

Noted, thank you!

 

I technically asked her to be mine which she agreed to... I made it apparent that I wanted to do it properly, and make it special for her. We will be sure to talk everything out so we are positive about being on the same page.

 

I'll be sure to briefly mention the disconnection, but not dig too deep into the subject. Thanks for the concern and tips.

[honeybun]

I would like to add just for details sake, something I might of overlooked making known. We have talked in depth about us intending to be together, how to properly go about it, and the details involved. In spite of this there has not be an official proposal, and we are not technically engaged. I wanted to wait, and make it nice for her, bring a ring, get on a knee at Shanghai's pearl tower you know the whole 9 yards.

We did it the same way. Agreed we would get married and started the petition for the visa, but I didn't give her a ring and officially propose until about 3 months before her interview. She was surprised and very happy to get a diamond, and she has taken great care of it.

 

I know this isn't what you come here for, but I am struck by how fast you guys are moving. Was this January the first time you met her face-to-face? I have no doubts about your feelings now, but a couple of fair warnings from someone not much older than you and probably only a hair wiser. #1, that feeling is not going to last a lifetime, so you need to really know her character to at least have a good possibility that you'll be able to stand each other (and that she'll come back when she storms out some day, because she will). #2, getting married seems to start them on a cascading series of expectations, including children. Once you have a child, at least some relationship problems are inevitable because of the stress and different expectations and hopes for the child. If she doesn't want kids right now, don't be surprised if that changes very quickly (and you can't really blame her).

 

I don't want to sidetrack you, I'm just putting these out there for your consideration.

[tsap seui]

I would like to add just for details sake, something I might of overlooked making known. We have talked in depth about us intending to be together, how to properly go about it, and the details involved. In spite of this there has not be an official proposal, and we are not technically engaged. I wanted to wait, and make it nice for her, bring a ring, get on a knee at Shanghai's pearl tower you know the whole 9 yards.

We did it the same way. Agreed we would get married and started the petition for the visa, but I didn't give her a ring and officially propose until about 3 months before her interview. She was surprised and very happy to get a diamond, and she has taken great care of it.

 

I know this isn't what you come here for, but I am struck by how fast you guys are moving. Was this January the first time you met her face-to-face? I have no doubts about your feelings now, but a couple of fair warnings from someone not much older than you and probably only a hair wiser. #1, that feeling is not going to last a lifetime, so you need to really know her character to at least have a good possibility that you'll be able to stand each other (and that she'll come back when she storms out some day, because she will). #2, getting married seems to start them on a cascading series of expectations, including children. Once you have a child, at least some relationship problems are inevitable because of the stress and different expectations and hopes for the child. If she doesn't want kids right now, don't be surprised if that changes very quickly (and you can't really blame her).

 

I don't want to sidetrack you, I'm just putting these out there for your consideration.

 

Good post Honey...er ah....Honeybun

 

 

I think these guys will do fine and it's cool to see the young love....kinda gives me some memories of my first wife even, what with the innocent hope and dreams, etc. My first wife had turned 18 a couple of weeks before we married and I was an old stud of 21, home from one tour overseas and heading back for another.

 

Good luck with the visa, and the first marriage, may you one day celebrate 70 years of continous marriage.

 

tsap seui