Tough situation - please give me advice

[bullmastiff]

Why feel sorry ? Millions of people have been trafficked and some cases dropped off the coast Long Island

I am speaking of reality

I just try to wake people up if they are still dreaming

Some people may find it a bit discomforting

 

Agree with David ' s assessment

[xiaozhu]

Why feel sorry ? Millions of people have been trafficked and some cases dropped off the coast Long Island

I am speaking of reality

I just try to wake people up if they are still dreaming

Some people may find it a bit discomforting

 

Agree with David ' s assessment

 

Why not? ... Anyway, let us drop/reserve disagreement, to seek common ground and peace! Thanks.

Edited March 20, 2011 by xiaozhu (see edit history)

[Lee VD]

Back to the subject... I agree that you should NOT have her mention boyfriend for the reason for visa. It will get her denied right off. I know a couple have been lucky but we have seen a LOT of denials recently for more important reasons.

 

Since she has a degree in Business English, you said, maybe she can leverage that experience into a trip to the U.S.. Does her employer have any ties to the U.S.? Would they be interested in her doing any kind of trip, at her own expense, to the U.S. for business or learning purposes? If her employer can describe this as a business trip she has a much better chance. Then she has a visa for a year and can come back other times. Also, it makes it MUCH easier to renew if she already has the B visa and shows a good track record of not overstaying. Then you can date as long as you want and not feel pressured (aside for the cost of travel!!).

 

If the employer is not up for this, then has she considered maybe going back to school? She may be able to get into a program for overseas study in the U.S.. There are tons of programs, including work-study programs. Something she could look into...

 

Lee

[pbatt]

Good advice Lee.

Several of my old students in Singapore got Visas to come here for work experience in the Degree's they were pursuing, mostly Hotel Management. They studied here for 3 months and then returned home.They were here last summer.All my students are from Mainland China and study in Singapore.

 

Something I have not seen offered yet is how about your parents coming to visit you and meet her that way? This would be a good way also for everyone to meet.

[lostinchina]

After thinking about this for a while, I've decided I'm just going to wait it out. I'll be in China until August and will probably live with her for 30 days while I'm on break from school. If everything goes well during the summer, I'll try and see her in December or next summer in China I guess... Long-distance relationships are frustrating. Sorry for taking so long to respond back to this thread and thanks for all of the help.

[bullmastiff]

Congratulation ! Amen for that !

[lostinchina]

Congratulation ! Amen for that !

 

Update: We lived in mainland China together for 30 days on my tourist visa last month. I've been back in Hong Kong for 2 weeks and will return to mainland China soon to start a 2 month internship before heading back to the states. I'll be interning in Shanghai which is a few hours by train to where she currently lives/works. Everything's still going well--but reality is starting to set in... Once I'm back in the US, I wont be able to see her for at least 4 months . I'm still trying to figure out what to do for my final two months in China. Should I start working on a K-1 or tourist visa for her?

 

Its a pretty serious relationship right now. Last time I talked with her about this, we decided the worst case scenario would be not seeing each other until next summer. If you have any, please offer opinions or advice regarding how I should handle this.

[warpedbored]

You might look into getting married and filing DCF. It is the fastest of all visas. If our income isn't up to 125% of federal poverty guidelines you'll need a co-sponsor.

[foobaz123]

I've long been under the impression that:

Young+Female+Single+NotRich+NotAtTheirJobForManyYears == 100% Automatic Denial.

 

Has anyone ever really gotten a tourist visa with all those conditions? To clarify, if the example is anyone over 30 with an established career you're right out.

 

I've thought about trying again for a visitor's visa so I know my wife could meet my father before anything happened to him. He's not in the best of health after all. However, since we're married I figured there was no chance in the world. Even before then, since she's neither older nor rich as far as I know there is no chance at all of getting one. Anyone know of a counter case?

[lostinchina]

Update: So we're still together. Everything is good except now I've been back at school in the US for 3 months. I'm trying to figure out a way to see her again. I was considering having her apply for a US tourist visa but the chances of denial are so high. She's already been to Hong Kong twice which is the only factor that might help getting a visa approved.

 

I'm trying to think of a different way to meet up. Are there any interesting countries to visit where she would have an easier time getting a tourist visa? We were thinking about New Zealand for a week which would be fun (but expensive). What about Mexico? Does anyone have any insight on this?

[JimS.]

Update: So we're still together. Everything is good except now I've been back at school in the US for 3 months. I'm trying to figure out a way to see her again. I was considering having her apply for a US tourist visa but the chances of denial are so high. She's already been to Hong Kong twice which is the only factor that might help getting a visa approved.

 

I'm trying to think of a different way to meet up. Are there any interesting countries to visit where she would have an easier time getting a tourist visa? We were thinking about New Zealand for a week which would be fun (but expensive). What about Mexico? Does anyone have any insight on this?

If ou go to Mexico, take body armor.

I say go for the tourist visa, worst thing that can happen is it is denied.

Have her get a letter from her work showing she is employed there and if it is on a long term contract.

That will help.

[2mike&jin]

I might have said this a time or two....I/We could not overcome the tourist visa issue...with a "Ton" of money, cars, houses etc. We visited Macau, Hong Kong, Thailand, and Malaysia - were denied Singapore - twice. We understand the rules have changed for Singapore. If you try to meet in a "neutral spot" - it's just as cheap to go to Macau or Hong Kong. She/up should be prepared to put "deposit money" in a bank that is usually tied up for 6-12 months after she returns...as a security deposit. For us it was just a short term CD.....this was a couple of years ago...rules might have changed - of course, depending on visit country requirements. For my two mao's worth - building a resume of going and coming - might/probably helps at GUZ interview time for an immigration visa, but I don't think it does a hoot of good for a "visit visa", at least it didn't in our case. I know I'm negative on your prospects of ever obtaining a visit visa - but it's the continuing manner in which GUZ treats Chinese that makes me think that nothing has or will change in the near term. The most efficient in terms of time and costs to me is to come visit her in China, Hong Kong, or Macau.....you're young you can stand the long flights and still "stay up all night". I fly business or 1st - and it takes me 3 days on each end to recover. Best of luck. BTW KL in Malaysia was a great place to go...a little pricey but they speak Mandarin and English/Malay so it makes the travel really easy.

[garfield529]

Just thinking ahead for you regardless of what you apply for K1/CR1, have you met her parents? I don't think it is an absolute requirement to gain the visa, but the cultural norm is being accepted by the family as the son and if you can not show evidence of that it could cast some doubt. Just a thought.

[Beachey]

I'm trying to think of a different way to meet up. Are there any interesting countries to visit where she would have an easier time getting a tourist visa? We were thinking about New Zealand for a week which would be fun (but expensive). What about Mexico? Does anyone have any insight on this?

 

A lot of the Southeastern Asia countires are fairly easy for a Chinese to get a visa: Indonesia (Bali), Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia. Keep in mind there is significant flooding going on in Thailand right now. The most expensive thing will be the plane ticket from the US. You can find nice hotels fairly cheaply in most of those places.

 

New Zealand and Australia tend to be difficult to get a visa for Chinese without showing strong ties to China.

[david_dawei]

Long-distance relationships are frustrating.

Long-distance relations happen. There are guys on this board who have waited 2-4 or more years just for the immigrant visa. How is she handling all of this? The number of years you need to wait to finally be together is an unknown. My wife and I built a 5 year plan early in the relationship; We set our expectation that we can't control what the government will do, but we can control what we choose to do (for the most part).

 

I feel you need to get further along this road. I am not saying you need to build a 5 year plan but you should be of a mindset of acceptance otherwise this is going to eat you up and you're not even close to filing.

 

To be honest, I don't like your prospects for a K1 approval. I know others disagree with my take on some predictions but it is just my opinion about certain issues I see at GUZ.

 

And I am not sure why you need to meet somewhere other than China or Hong Kong? What does that get you? Is it just savings your after? IMHO, you should be trying to visit her in China without pulling her into emotional complications about how she can get out of china. Paramount to chinese ladies is taking care of them in the right way and that includes emotionally-safe.

 

You've not mentioned her family (unless I missed it). You should be getting to know her family quite a bit more. She can certainly get to know your family long-distance as we all do. My wife talks with my mom and has even talked on QQ audio/video with my grandchildren. So there are many ways to build up a 'family feeling' to help round-out what is growing between the two of you. That may help add some emotional ballast to the situation. Maybe even a family member can visit back to china with you to see her at some point.