Adjusting to life here

[robhon]

I know Youyue really likes HK television but I've yet to find it anywhere. Once I discovered I could get CCTV on Comcast and told her. She was very luke warm about it. While living in SZ I think she really got used to a different quality of TV. (We both love that Monkey King series on HK television, the new one.)

 

Another note. A couple of other things I'm doing to try to make YY more a part of things here is, I finding a Chinese speaking accountant and a Chinese speaking doctor for us. Try as I may, my Cantonese is just not good enough to clearly explain the nuances of the IRS, saving for retirement, mortgages and lending, blah blah blah blah blah... And I know in any solid relationship opinions and responsibility on these matters have to be shared.

[Mick]

Food is undoubtably the biggest complaint. Find an Asian store and take her there the day after she arrives. You'll get it all wrong!

 

Next biggest issue is clean. It is incredible how our perception of what clean means can be so different.

I agree on both counts Don. Li, especially since she is pregnant, is craving all sorts of Chinese foods. Fortunatly, we have found two Asian markets within reasonable driving distance although the best one is about seventy miles away. As to what constitute clean, what else can I say?

 

Another adjustment issue for her is finding Chinese reading material. Other than a few rag newspapers, not much is available. Interestingly enough, Li was an English teacher in China and read English constantly. Now that she is in America, she only wants to read Chinese.

[carhil24]

Carl....you need to post more often. With your permission I'll stick a copy in the Immigration Challenges section.

Don, no problem with the copy. As for posting more often, I usually can find the time to read the posts on a daily basis, but not much time to respond, unless I feel that I can truly be helpful. But thanks for the compliments, everyone!

[carhil24]

Another adjustment issue for her is finding Chinese reading material. Other than a few rag newspapers, not much is available. Interestingly enough, Li was an English teacher in China and read English constantly. Now that she is in America, she only wants to read Chinese.

Mick, my wife does the same thing. FYI, we are planning a trip to SF sometime during the month of Jan, and if you like, maybe we can arrange some way of picking up some books for Li. Not sure about the cost of shipping or anything, but I'm sure we could figure it out. Also, I know its relatively easy to find Chinese DVD's and CD's on the Internet, and the prices are comparable to what you might find in SF, maybe someone knows of a site where you can purchase Chinese literature? Just a thought!

[carhil24]

Not that I disagree with the advice given but let me take each one point by point to show how they are not as critically important as some would believe, so that there is really very little to worry about.

 

Ping has done just fine with absolutely no Chinese TV for nine months.

 

"As the time draws near for Youyue to come here I'm getting more concerned about what I can do to make her more comfortable with the whole transition."

 

Hello all,

 

In response to Robert S's post, I wanted to submit the following:

 

If I understand Rob's original post correctly, and reflect back to that same time period when I was still waiting, it isn't so much that I was "worried" about her coming to America, not liking it, and quickly returning home, nor did I think that it was so "critically important" to have everything in place and perfect. It was more a concern of mine to try to make the transition for my wife (and her daughter) as smooth as possible, and make both of them feel as comfortable and welcome as humanly possible under the circumstances. I think that it is all a matter of comfort rather than a life or death situation, and therefore in that context, Robert, you are correct, it is not critically important, nor something to worry about a great deal. However, I think that we all need to remember that our wives and fiancees are leaving a place where they are comfortable with the language, the food, the culture, the home, their friends and their families, and coming to a place where everything they once considered comfortable is completely different than what they are used to. Obviously our food is different than theirs, our culture is no comparison to theirs, our homes are different, our friends are not their friends yet, and our families, even though they might be welcoming them with open arms, are not their families. I think what Rob originally wanted to know, and what I and others originally tried to answer for him, was how to make his wife as comfortable as possible when she arrives. And during the time I was waiting for my fiancee, I was concerned about the same things. And if there is just one good thing about playing the waiting game with BCIS and GZ, it's that you can use that time to make whatever preparations you feel will help your wife or fiancee feel as comfortable and "at home" as possible. Given the fact that they have given up so much just to come to America and be a part of our lives, I think that it is the least we can do. And to be honest with you, I feel that is a small sacrifice in comparison to what they have sacrificed. Quite often, when I hear my wife talking to her sister or mother or other family members back in China, tears come to my eyes when I realize how much she has sacrificed for someone that she had known for less than two years before committing her life to him. I am thankful everyday for my wife, and I will never forget nor take for granted that sacrifice. Regarding the lack of Chinese TV or not, until recently, CCTV and others were not available in my city, and we have done without. But now that it is available, we will be signing up for it, and although it is an additional expense, and probably not a necessity, it is something I want to do for my wife, because I know that she will enjoy it, and I will enjoy her having that enjoyment. It's not a question of her being unhappy without it, because she has been happy without it for all of these months, it's just an additional creature comfort that if I am able to do so, I want to give to my wife. Compared to what she did for me, this is absolutely nothing! To everyone whose wife, husband or fiancee is here, give them a kiss and a hug and thank them everyday for their sacrifice. For those of you who are still waiting, remember the sacrifice that they are about to make for you, and don't ever, ever take it lightly!

 

P.S. I apologize for messing up the quotations, I'm not sure what I did! Thanks for your patience!

[Robert S.]

Carl, your desires are beautiful. I wish I could have been as solicitous for a reasonable degree of comfort as you. But in our situation we could be more characterized as struggling for survival. This is something the Chinese are very talented at. I admire their toughness. But at the same time as she is picking out the crabs to be boiled (without the tongs) she is laughing and screaming and giggling about nearly getting pinched.

[Robert S.]

>>7) There is a satellite service by which we can receive Chinese broadcasts (the same favorite shows she enjoys in China) here. I don't have details yet ...

 

Ping has done just fine with absolutely no Chinese TV for nine months.  

I am happy for her. In my case, I have no problem subscribing to the ZTV Mandarin channel on Time Warner. That is, as soon as she gets here.

 

A few bucks a month is meaningless considering the fact that she can enjoy her native language TV while I am at work. My $.02 USD

Here in my part of Alabama there is no Chinese anything available. I would get it if I could.