My daughter Meiling

[roblimei]

Limei and Meiling left for China a month ago to visit her family. They will not return home for another 5 weeks. Meiling is 14 months of age. I call every other day and spend a lot of time talking over the phone to my daughter. The first couple of weeks she would talk back to me. (baby talk and saying "da da"). She also would not "warm" up to any of Limei's family. Now Limei states that she has accepted every member of her family with enthusiasm. However, now she will not verbally respond to me on the phone. Limei says that she is listening but with no response or reaction. I miss my girls tremendously and am now panicking! Is Meiling forgetting who I am. Limei is afraid, as I, that upon their return at the airport Meiling might not recognize me and forbid me to hold her. OH! The price of love!!! Anyone else experience this? Rob

[tkgert]

Limei and Meiling left for China a month ago to visit her family. They will not return home for another 5 weeks. Meiling is 14 months of age. I call every other day and spend a lot of time talking over the phone to my daughter. The first couple of weeks she would talk back to me. (baby talk and saying "da da"). She also would not "warm" up to any of Limei's family. Now Limei states that she has accepted every member of her family with enthusiasm. However, now she will not verbally respond to me on the phone. Limei says that she is listening but with no response or reaction. I miss my girls tremendously and am now panicking! Is Meiling forgetting who I am. Limei is afraid, as I, that upon their return at the airport Meiling might not recognize me and forbid me to hold her. OH! The price of love!!! Anyone else experience this? Rob

Your daughter will not forget you, she will remember your voice and your face and the way you hold her. Dont worry!!

[thelocaldialect]

She won't forget you. She might be a bit shy at the airport, but she'll warm up to you again very quickly. Kids adapt well to new situations, but they also remember more than we realize. It'll be ok!

[david_dawei]

Stay realistic. Life is not perfect. Don't divide time up too much.

 

To what degree she remembers or not doesn't matter even 1 years later, yes? Hopefully she is not so forbidding at first but that would go away anyways eventualy. Maybe she has to 'warm up to you'; why not? Maybe you'll have to engage her a little too.

 

I find some chinese dote on the small children a lot by holding them, so she could likely be more attached to those holding her now. If she says your name often and even has some pictures, then upon being back together the phrase is familiar and the picture may help.

 

Final thought: Don't sweat it and go with the flow. You'll have to figure that out once together.

[tsap seui]

Not to worry.

 

I was never married to my daughters mother, nor did I ever live with her. When the baby came, I talked to her each day on the phone and traveled 50 miles each way, once a week to see her for a few hours.

 

On the phone she could only coo and make baby sounds but her mom told me she knew who I was. On my trips she would smile crawl, or struggle to get out of her mom's arms for me to hold her, and it was easy to see she knew I was one of the important ones in her life. Her mom had two older brothers who played with my daughter too, but she always came to me when I came in the door...I don't know how, but she knew dada.

 

I know your feeling, but believe me, it'll be okay.

 

tsap seui

[roblimei]

Not to worry.

 

I was never married to my daughters mother, nor did I ever live with her. When the baby came, I talked to her each day on the phone and traveled 50 miles each way, once a week to see her for a few hours.

 

On the phone she could only coo and make baby sounds but her mom told me she knew who I was. On my trips she would smile crawl, or struggle to get out of her mom's arms for me to hold her, and it was easy to see she knew I was one of the important ones in her life. Her mom had two older brothers who played with my daughter too, but she always came to me when I came in the door...I don't know how, but she knew dada.

 

I know your feeling, but believe me, it'll be okay.

 

tsap seui

Thanks for the "personal" input! Just missing my girls. They have indeed become my life. Their absence has only reinforced how much.

[C4Racer]

Limei and Meiling left for China a month ago to visit her family. They will not return home for another 5 weeks. Meiling is 14 months of age. I call every other day and spend a lot of time talking over the phone to my daughter. The first couple of weeks she would talk back to me. (baby talk and saying "da da"). She also would not "warm" up to any of Limei's family. Now Limei states that she has accepted every member of her family with enthusiasm. However, now she will not verbally respond to me on the phone. Limei says that she is listening but with no response or reaction. I miss my girls tremendously and am now panicking! Is Meiling forgetting who I am. Limei is afraid, as I, that upon their return at the airport Meiling might not recognize me and forbid me to hold her. OH! The price of love!!! Anyone else experience this? Rob

 

You don't need to worry. My son was 15 months when he and my wife left for China. He was given lots and lots of attention, especially by his grandparents and uncle. His favorite think to do in China was go to the market with grandfather in the morning to buy fresh mango. He spent lots and lots of time with Yigong. He fit in very well with his cousin, who was just a year and a half older. So when I went two months later, I worried he maybe forgot daddy. Not to worry, somehow they always know daddy.

Edited February 7, 2010 by C4Racer (see edit history)