Last name

[ktmracer]

Congratulations on setting the big date!

 

My wife kept her maiden name, but plans to change her last name to mine after the AOS, which won't happen for a while. I was told that was the best way to handle it with regards to the paperwork. Plenty of others here have done the contrary, so I can't say which way is best.

 

The next question might be, what last name will your children take? I know that is not part of your concern with paperwork. My wife wants to give our first child my last name and the second child, should it happen, her last name. She says it is common in China. Nevertheless, it will not happen.

Making name change BEFORE AOS is the best procedure.

 

Changing after is a COSTLY issue, need to file an I-90 to change name on Green-card, THE FEE is $370

 

We married, and set name on marriage cert to married name, and then filed I-485 using married name, the resulting green-card has married name. We also applied for SSN using married name as well as D.L.

Dan,

We are getting ready to send in the I 751 for lifting of conditions (CR1)

since she entered 5/8/2008. She wants name change. Her 1st name, middle=her last name, Last= my last name. do name change now, then SSN, Then DL. any problems you see may happen? In may she will go to Toronto, then to China to see family finally.

Should not be an issue.

Dan, one more thing. Her card will expire May 8, she needs to travel back to China in late May. will the expired card cause problems upon re-entry to US? need to carry NOA from the (I751) green card conditions removal?

[Cerberus]

I am not sure if this is the right place for this so feel free to move if you need to.

 

My question is this. We have 3 choices when we get married. She can take my last name, she can keep her name, or she can use both her last name and mine. I was wonder if someone cold tell me the PRO's and CON's of each choice as I know they will effect passport and other things as well.

 

Thank you , and we are planning a March 13th wedding

3xcharm,

 

My wife and I had the same dilemma, way back when (approx 5 years ago), as what you have right now.

 

My wife (Yin) and I both discussed from each others cultural viewpoints, to decide which way we would go in the end. I left the decision to her. However, she tried taking the Western point of view and came up with Jiang-XXXX with the hyphen. (Her real family name). However, she didn't look to keenly on the idea, since my last name came from Teutonic cultures, and didn't match her name, as in the Green Beret movie, w/John Wayne; "...it didn't sing!" Boy! Could I see in her eyes that she was a bit unhappy with the end result.

 

She promptly threw the decision back into my lap! LUCKY me! "Damned if I do! Damned if I don't!"

 

To solve the crisis, I made the final decision, and followed two trains of logic.

 

1. Since you filed a I-129, what name did you use? We filed a I-129 and I-130. She stayed with her given family name on both the 129 and 130. Remember the nicknames used block? My wife at one time as known as "Alice." This was left off the blocks since we didn't want to increase research time from GUZ, in looking for an "Alice Jiang," in addition to what we already provided on immigration forms. Whatever you filed stay with it. Then if she truly wants to change her name it costs you some money, a court date, and it will be finished quickly, with no problems from GUZ

 

2. My wife's name has two separate and to myself, beautiful meanings. My wife is born and raised Chengdu, which is bordered by two rivers. The family name of Jiang, means "People by the River." Her given name Yin, means "green grass." There is no middle name. The given names matched her perfectly from the woman that I'm married to and her personality. There is a Missouri saying (I believe); "If it ain't broke, don't fixin' it!" IMHO, regards to my wife; what better name for a Chinese woman, than what she is given already? The name is perfect for her personality and who I married! How could I fix it up better, than what it is already?

 

Please understand that, at the risk of a generalizing statement; Sichuan province people by their very nature are an extremely proud culture, of fiery tempers, very much in love with their Motherland (China), and in my words only resemble Chinese/Texas rednecks, and don't take a whole lot of crap from anyone, and this means even from Chinese! Ergo, they stay with what their given names are.

 

I made the decision that she should keep her family given name, and definitely not add my idiotic Teutonic name, with a hyphen!

 

There are times when a man makes a sound decision, and he can look at someone and know that he/she made the right decision. This is one of those times, which I knew that I made the right choice.

 

Remember what I said about Sichuan people? Shortly after she arrived in the US, she dropped the name of "Alice!" permanently. Her line of logic was that since she was Chinese if an Westerner couldn't refer to her by her given birth name and remember it; then they probably didn't care about her in the first place and was never her friend in the first place. IMHO, pretty hard to argue with this reasoning.

 

Perhaps, you should research your wife's name with name conversion sites. Find out what it means, the cultural implications, what it means to her, etc, etc. Perhaps she was named after an ancestor.....you never will know, until you ask and research. Most of all listen to her and see what she truly wants. After all you are married to and love the same women no matter what her name is. When she reaches the US, then change the name if she so desires. After being around Korean and many Asian people for almost 15 years plus, I suspect that she (and many others) desire to stay with their family given names.

 

They (Far Easterners of any culture and most esp Thai, Japanese) will however, give some nicknames for their closest friends, when their name is particularly hard to pronounce.

 

I hope that the information helps you reach a good decision.

 

Dave

[3timescharm]

Thanks Dave.

 

I have pretty much told her to talk with her father and I would be happy with whatever she decided. You are right....the name will n ot change how I love her.

 

Robert

[Cerberus]

Thanks Dave.

 

I have pretty much told her to talk with her father and I would be happy with whatever she decided. You are right....the name will n ot change how I love her.

 

Robert

Robert,

 

Glad I could help. However there is a drawback, Perhaps, her Father is into gothic lifestyle....

 

You might get a spur of the moment thought like....

 

"Chinese Sphinx!"

 

Just joking, and pulling your chain a bit.

 

Regard to her Father that is an excellent idea. After all when you married her, began to love her, and became a fiancee to her, you married the entire family too! Good! Or bad!

 

The nicest part is the face that you gain in the eyes of her family. They realize that they aren't losing a daughter. They are losing a daughter to a very nice man, that considers what they did before he came along came stumbling into the room of their/her Life.

 

Please don't forget about what I mentioned in Item 1. This can be a serious concern, and can even dribble down into her returning to China with a passport. The last thing anyone of us needs, is crap from USCIS over something so small.

 

However, your comment regard to love, is the hammer dead on the head of the nail. This is exactly how I felt. I could have cared less whether she was named Bozo the Chinese clown. On second thought....... let me rephrase that. (Imagine e having a great sexual encounter/time, and loudly proclaiming your love for Bozo, and Bozo is the greatest!

 

Let stay with Alice. Who really cares what she chooses for a name? This is an individual choice, and nothing more. That is why later Yin dropped the "noms de guerre" of Alice , and reverted back to her own culture. This is a personal choice and we as husbands should respect the person.

 

I'm sure that whatever comes back from the family, it will be from her family and most especially what she desires. No matter if she calls herself Bozo the clown, or whatever; the love doesn't change. She is still your wife and will respect what you have already done.

 

Dave