keelec Posted November 24, 2003 Report Share Posted November 24, 2003 One rose is fine.Three are Better.and a Baker's Dozen would be a wonderful gift. BUT, NEVER GIVE A RUSSIAN WOMAN A PAIR OF ROSESOR A DOZEN ROSES. Of course, if she is an American woman, you might think twice before giving her 13 roses!!!! I was just reading Don's note about how candles symbolized Love, Peace, and Hope for one culture, yet, the weeping of the wax symbolized tears in another culture.http://candleforlove.com/forums/index....act=ST&f=1&t=30 It reminded me of what I've been told about Roses and Russian women. Apparently even numbers of flowers are used at funerals, and are used to symbolize death. Odd numbers of flowers represent love. Thus, one never sends a Russian Woman an even number of flowers, unless, it is to say the relationship is dying. ----- Clifford ----- Link to comment
owenkrout Posted November 24, 2003 Report Share Posted November 24, 2003 The cultural insult or unintentional message is a common trap when melding two cultures. For instance the gift of a clock, or watch, in Chinese culture is viewed as a reference to death. Not generally a good choice. Link to comment
Mick Posted November 24, 2003 Report Share Posted November 24, 2003 Li always was happy when I gave her nine roses. She says that in Chinese culture, this means eternal love. So I tried to give nine whenever possible. Russian culture is different I'm sure. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but my ex-wife is Russian, born in America. So I am somewhat familiar with Russian culture, having been exposed to her family. The only other significant, long-term relationship I have had with a woman was with a Cuban woman in Miami. After Li and I married, a friend remarked that I must have a thing for women from Communist countries. Russia was Communist when my ex and I were married. Link to comment
keelec Posted November 25, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 The cultural insult or unintentional message is a common trap when melding two cultures. For instance the gift of a clock, or watch, in Chinese culture is viewed as a reference to death. Not generally a good choice.Whew, It is a good thing my fiancee is not Chinese...... One of the gifts I brought her for our first date was a new watch..... SHE LOVED IT!!!!!! Some of the little things we take for granted can be so special to our loved ones. A $20 or a $30 watch could be worth a whole month's wages, and thus utterly unobtainable. ----- Clifford ------ Link to comment
Dave G. Posted November 25, 2003 Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 Interesting topic about gifts. Last night, Ben, JM and I sat down and wrote letters to Santa. I'm really working it this year to make the kid more attentive to homework and chores (I wonder if I can get him to believe this stuff till he goes to college). Ben wants rollerblades, X-box games, blah blah blah. JM only wanted health for her family and for me to love her forever (that's an easy one). I started with the laptop but drifted into the same themes as JM. It was kind of cool. Guess us old farts know what's really important (family, that is....not laptops). Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!!! http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/weihnachten/xmas-smiley-039.gif (Sorry...Germany doesn't have Thankgiving. My smilie source is from there.......) Link to comment
Bobby Posted November 25, 2003 Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 The cultural insult or unintentional message is a common trap when melding two cultures. For instance the gift of a clock, or watch, in Chinese culture is viewed as a reference to death. Not generally a good choice.I got nailed by this one unintentionally.. banded together and bought a $100+ clock for a chinese friend on his wedding. No one told us that timepieces were not allowed. I'm pretty sure his parents won't be talking to me again. I've been told that Chinese people love gifts in three's or multiples of three. I was taught that the word for "forever" is chang chang gou gou. My fiancee has been on me to give her a wedding ring. So, a few months ago, I bought 99 novelty rings and attached a single tag to each ring with a reason I love her on it. The guy at PakMail hated me, but she loved me and called me crying.. Link to comment
warpedbored Posted November 25, 2003 Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 Li always was happy when I gave her nine roses. She says that in Chinese culture, this means eternal love. So I tried to give nine whenever possible. Russian culture is different I'm sure. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but my ex-wife is Russian, born in America. So I am somewhat familiar with Russian culture, having been exposed to her family. The only other significant, long-term relationship I have had with a woman was with a Cuban woman in Miami. After Li and I married, a friend remarked that I must have a thing for women from Communist countries. Russia was Communist when my ex and I were married.Pretty in pinko? One good thing about the internet is it brings the world together. Once we start getting to know someone from a communist country the labels start to fall away and we realize there is a human being in there.Carl Link to comment
MarkLuvsShuPing Posted November 26, 2003 Report Share Posted November 26, 2003 Li always was happy when I gave her nine roses. She says that in Chinese culture, this means eternal love. So I tried to give nine whenever possible. Russian culture is different I'm sure. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but my ex-wife is Russian, born in America. So I am somewhat familiar with Russian culture, having been exposed to her family. The only other significant, long-term relationship I have had with a woman was with a Cuban woman in Miami. After Li and I married, a friend remarked that I must have a thing for women from Communist countries. Russia was Communist when my ex and I were married.Pretty in pinko? One good thing about the internet is it brings the world together. Once we start getting to know someone from a communist country the labels start to fall away and we realize there is a human being in there.CarlGood point Carl, We truly are the ambassadors of love. I feel I have a unique opportunity to impress the hell out of the in-laws and show them that, even though I am a decadent American, I am a wonderful human being. Not only do I get to buy wedding gifts for them, but I could give multiples of 3 and really blow them away. Now, the question is, what? So far, Bro-in-law is getting a cigarette lighter. Sis-in-law a Chinese bible. Not sure what to get Ma-in-law. Any suggestions? Link to comment
warpedbored Posted November 26, 2003 Report Share Posted November 26, 2003 Hmmm I really couldn't advise you on that one. since I am a woodworker when I went to China I gave everyone ink pens that I turned on my woodlathe. They were well received because I made them myself. There was a thread on this subject a while back though. Also when I buy a gift for Bing or her son I always include some spending money. It has been my experience that they love getting money as a gift. Perhaps a 20 dollar bill in a red envelope accompanied with a small gift would be appreciated. Link to comment
MarkLuvsShuPing Posted November 26, 2003 Report Share Posted November 26, 2003 Money is always good, forgot about the red for luck, a red envelope, now we're talking. Link to comment
warpedbored Posted November 26, 2003 Report Share Posted November 26, 2003 I would also recomend that you check with someone like Mick or Owen who have lived there for a while to make your you don't commit some cultural boo boo. You don't get a whole lot of opportunities to impress the mom in law. Link to comment
owenkrout Posted November 27, 2003 Report Share Posted November 27, 2003 Money is always a good bet. American money is always well received. Bit of a prestige item. Personally, I am not a drinker, but most everyone in the north of China is and a bottle of Jack Daniels is very expensive in China and again, a prestige item. American cigerettes also, but I draw the line there and refuse to carry them to hand out. One very wide spread habit that I will not encourage. A top quality fountain pen is very highly prized, especially by older people. A Chinese calligrapy set, but get someone who knows what they are doing to help you pick one out. Link to comment
MarkLuvsShuPing Posted November 27, 2003 Report Share Posted November 27, 2003 Definitely good info. Thanks Owen. ShuPing says her brother is a smoker, but I agree with you, I don't want to bring American cigarettes to hand out. I was thinking along the lines of a lighter, a cigarette case and an as yet undecided something, hmmm, maybe a box of Nicoderm patches. I like the fine fountain pen idea. And, of course, what's more American than Jack Daniels? Alright, I've got some great ideas. CFL Rocks! Link to comment
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