Where to Live

[frank1538]

While we wait for the ever elusive visa, Jingwen and I have been discussing where to live. These are her preferences: in the city, two stories, red brick, new, five bedrooms, That kinda rules out my current 3 bedroom in-town ranch. Actually, it rules out most in-town houses that I could afford, since I already bought one of those for my ex - only 10 years left on the mortgage. Reminds me of what Lewis Grizzard once said after his fifth divorce. Rather than getting married/divorced again, about every five years, he'd just find some women he hated and buy her a house - cheaper in the long run.

 

But, I digress. City living seems very importatnt to Jingwen and despite lots of photos and chats, I am not sure she fully understands surburban living. Unfortunately, her "dream house" will likely be found in the burbs.

 

Personally, I'm not real enthused about the burbs and the multi hour commutes to the office. Living in-town is my preference. In typical "lao po" fashion, she says she will be happy wherever we live and while I do not doubt her, I do want her desires realized.

 

Over the long haul, I am confident that appreciation in housing prices will eventually allow us to buy up to her dream house in town, but, until then, I struggle with where to start - smaller house in the city vs. larger house in the suburbs.

 

For those of you with your spouses already here, what kind of feedback are you getting about houses and location?

[Mick]

I guess I am very fortunate in that Li seems to be pretty much satisfied in any setting. All in all though, it seems she dislikes big cities and for that I am grateful. I lived in Miami for fifteen years and wasn't crazy about it. Li is a bit unusual in that she likes the rural setting. We live in southern Tennessee, just outside a small town of about 1500 people. To the immediate north is another small town with a population of about 400. So, we are out in the boonies a bit. Yet she loves living in nature. We are blessed in that this area is really beautiful with rolling hills, mountains, lakes and rivers. This autumn was particularly colorful.

 

About 25 miles to the south, across the border, is Huntsville, Alabama. It is a bit larger with a population of around 200,000 including the burbs. I was born there. Could be we will move down there eventually as it makes things a bit more convenient in terms of shopping, doctors, etc. Or we may move into Ardmore proper. At present we live just outside the city. Like I said, Li is pretty well satisfied anywhere except a large city. Fine with me.

[tywy_99]

"City gone Country", here!.....

 

I left the "rat race" of the city to take a position out at the foothills of the Blue Ridge mountains. That was twelve years ago and looking back on it, it was one of the better of my life's decisions. Beautiful countryside, sparse populaton and land is cheap. My first thoughts when I first moved here was that this would be a wonderful place to raise a family.

When my wife and I first met, I was telling her about this place and she nearly freaked out when I said "countryside." No, no, no, I said to her. This countryside is not like China countryside.

Like anything else, it has its advantages and disadvanatges and sometimes I think that I wish I was back in the city but then I slap myself and say, "bite your tongue boy!"....lol.

I know one thing. I can't wait to see my wife and step-daughters faces when they look up into the night sky and be able to see the Milky Way for the first time!......God Bless America!

[tonado]

To live in a city like Boston is very expensive. However, it is convenient to ESL schools and to Chinatown. Since my wife does not have a driver's license, living near the city is a must. She takes the subway to school. To afford a 5-bedroom place will be impossible in Boston unless you can afford to buy 2 million dollars home or to pay $3000 a month in rent.

[keelec]

City versus suburbs versus country

 

That is a decision that every couple will have to deal with, and is presumably a very personal decision. The difference between the City and the Countryside is a huge difference, and is certainly large enough to break apart a relationship.

 

Social relationships are very different between the city and country.

 

I think of things in comparison to Oregon.

 

Eugene, approx 150,000 people

Portland, approx 2,000,000 people

 

People that come from Portland to study at the university in Eugene invariably look around and say that "Eugene is Boring, and THERE IS NOTHING TO DO".

 

People that come from Eugene to Portland have the same feeling, "Portland is Boring, and THERE IS NOTHING TO DO".

 

Of course, one conclusion is that the whole state is boring. But, perhaps the better explanation is the one becomes comfortable with one's environment. When it changes too dramatically, even the entire social environment is changed. One type of person might be attracted to bars and music types of events. Another might be attracted to mountains and streams. It is difficult to substitute bars for mountains, or mountains for bars.

 

I would say that it would be difficult to bring a woman from a "City" environment and introduce her to a country environment. Likewise, it would be difficult to take a woman that has always lived in a small village and bring her into a BIG CITY environment.

 

Of course, one can expect many changes and adaptations when the loved ones come to the USA.

 

One note, the USA generally has some of the worst public transportation in the world!!!! The central portions of some cities have generally good busses and subways. Once one gets to the suburbs and the countryside, all semblance of public transportation disappears. If your wife doesn't drive, or won't drive for 6 months, then transportation could become a big issue.

 

----- Clifford -----

[tonyontherock]

I lived in NYC for about 5 years and then moved out to the burbs. I really like the combination, it takes about half and hour to get into Midtown for work or play, with all the lights and people, theatres etc. Yet, at home, after 9PM everything closes down and really quiet. I could have moved further away to get larger property, but the commute would dampen the quiet and tranquility.

Hard to live too far from the city. China town is definitely a place she would want to go, if nothing else for some decent food. Where I live, even the contractors started looking for McDonald rather than eating in any of the three Chinese restaurants in town.

[owenkrout]

Most of the Chinese wives may prefer living in the city. They are used to things like public transportation and walking to the market place that you simply will not have in the suburbs. Also the lack of people out on the streets is something that my wife still comments on, even in the city.

 

We are most probably going to move to Lawrence, Kansas next month. Better opportunities for jobs for both of us and being dominated by the University of Kansas, it is unusual in having a lot of people out walking and a lot of small shops downtown while still having the large chains on the edge of town. Also my wife has several Chinese friends living there already. Boils down to my wife likes it better than the small town life. She says that she wants to return to Kansas because people are friendlier there.