? Chongqing rent ?

[chengdu4me]

I would be surprised...no...make that shocked! if she is not prepared to pay her own rent if need be. "Need" being, if you don't/can't/won't. Hopefully she is saving money and by getting you to sent her money, she is saving even more.

 

Then there is the other side of the coin...I have gotten to know a few Chinese women that will spend every dime they can get their hands on and then borrow from everyone they know so they can spend more.

 

This is an issue you need to find out about before you get much farther. As far as how to do that, I can't tell you...I'm just not that smart. Even hinting at the suggestion that she might be using you for money will get into a hornet's nest that you may not want to get near.

 

But, I will say this. Any woman that does not have a sizable savings built up after ten years on the same job is worth taking a closer look at. This just isn't normal Chinese thinking. Prepare for the future, whatever the future may bring is the norm. Anything other than that is suspect.

[Highlander]

My wife has an apartment in Chongqing,pays rent by the year,in fact will be due in March.Its not very much,i think its 3000 yuan for the whole year.

 

jimi

Yes the rent is not very much. My Fiancee has always paid by 6 month terms, I believe. My principle point is ,that she did not "prepare" for the rent coming due very soon, thinking that this wealthy American will pay for the rent, which I will.

 

Now you see, she's already acting as if y'all are married.

Yes, now she is behaving like we are married. Sometimes she acts as if she was a " Blond in her past Life", but I think this is an ACT. She has had a difficult life, and I know I have to earn her trust, as she is earning mine. I know her coming to a strange land, and leaving all she has went through all of her life, is not easy. That takes a strong will. along with much faith, and trust.

 

One other thing I have learned, my wife thought/thinks that all USA men are loose with their money. She used to tell me she needed money for rent then I sent it to her. To my surprise, she had saved most all of it. When I asked her why she did this she replied "USA man no understand how keep money." Yes I was tricked but in a pleasant way.

That behavior would be a big no no for me. I am retired, and manage very well. I make my extra pocket money with buy-sell or repairing autos part time, and have a rental unit for income. I invested my money in CDs, long term that are doing very good. Would hate to think I cashed in a CD or one of my buy-sell items, to send money to someone that ask for it under false pretense. Glad your worked out well though. B)

[Highlander]

I would be surprised...no...make that shocked! if she is not prepared to pay her own rent if need be. "Need" being, if you don't/can't/won't. Hopefully she is saving money and by getting you to sent her money, she is saving even more.

 

Then there is the other side of the coin...I have gotten to know a few Chinese women that will spend every dime they can get their hands on and then borrow from everyone they know so they can spend more.

 

This is an issue you need to find out about before you get much farther. As far as how to do that, I can't tell you...I'm just not that smart. Even hinting at the suggestion that she might be using you for money will get into a hornet's nest that you may not want to get near.

 

But, I will say this. Any woman that does not have a sizable savings built up after ten years on the same job is worth taking a closer look at. This just isn't normal Chinese thinking. Prepare for the future, whatever the future may bring is the norm. Anything other than that is suspect.

I will be surprised if she has saved anything, have 10 years at a low paying job. She is poor, but dress like weathy,,,has a cell phone,,internet service,,eats at big restuarants often, so I understand if she has not saved, no problem. Just received an email, after none or 2 days, that she is unhappy that I did not jump up and send her the rent $ on 20 Oct, that she demanded(not ask for). I told her on 20 Oct, I would have the $ on 23 Oct, but does not seem to be quick enough.

[chengdu4me]

Sorry, but I see red flags here. Perhaps it is my own past experiences that make me see them when none exist. Perhaps it is my past experiences that allow me to see them...I can't say for sure. But, I do know one thing. Anyone that DEMANDS anything from me gets ignored.

[RobertH]

I would aggree a bit with the look a little closer. My girl has not touched a penny in the account I keep adding money to each month. When I ask her why she says she still has savings from the money I gave her back in July. She is very good with her money, and I aggree even more with the statment about having money saved after 10 years in the same job.

 

My girl had about 120,000 CNY saved before she bought into a Condo construction project, her condo will be ready for move in a few months after I hope to have her in the good old USA. So the plan is to sell the Chinese condo after 5 years when the Subway line reaches the development.

 

The point of my ramble here is most of our sweet pearls have a very good money plan. Find out what yours is.

 

Robert

[Highlander]

I would aggree a bit with the look a little closer. My girl has not touched a penny in the account I keep adding money to each month. When I ask her why she says she still has savings from the money I gave her back in July. She is very good with her money, and I aggree even more with the statment about having money saved after 10 years in the same job.

 

My girl had about 120,000 CNY saved before she bought into a Condo construction project, her condo will be ready for move in a few months after I hope to have her in the good old USA. So the plan is to sell the Chinese condo after 5 years when the Subway line reaches the development.

 

The point of my ramble here is most of our sweet pearls have a very good money plan. Find out what yours is.

 

Robert

Robert, your girl has a good head on her shoulders. I bought 3 properties in Ohio before the Interstate highway come through. I sold after 5 years, and doubled my infestment on each one. My girl seems to spend it as soon as she gets it, like a teenager.

[Highlander]

Sorry, but I see red flags here. Perhaps it is my own past experiences that make me see them when none exist. Perhaps it is my past experiences that allow me to see them...I can't say for sure. But, I do know one thing. Anyone that DEMANDS anything from me gets ignored.

I am starting to see what you mean. I have been seeing yellow flags for a while now. A big DEMAND sure can turn a yellow flag to a red flag real quick.

[RobertH]

For sure do not give up on her just yet. Just keep your eyes open. It could be a case of a woman who had done with out for so long now not knowing how to have restraint when she dose have access to some income.

 

One readflag I saw was the fact she somehow let you know she has friends who have well off boyfriends sending them 500.00 a month. Also the fact she has cut off the E-mail trying to get your to do what she wants.....

 

I dont know maybe give her a test of some sort, maybe contact her threw a Unknown Email address pretending to be a new guy interested in her and see if she bites...

 

 

Talk to Timb.... he has a funny signature timeline on his account...read it and you will understand what I mean. Ask him what the signs he had were reguarding the 1st girl.

 

I hope we are all over reacting to her at this point but I would rather be safe then sorry and see you get hurt or taken for large sums of cash....

 

You seem like a nice guy and you deserve a good woman...

 

 

Robert

[chilton747]

My wife has an apartment in Chongqing,pays rent by the year,in fact will be due in March.Its not very much,i think its 3000 yuan for the whole year.

 

jimi

Yes the rent is not very much. My Fiancee has always paid by 6 month terms, I believe. My principle point is ,that she did not "prepare" for the rent coming due very soon, thinking that this wealthy American will pay for the rent, which I will.

 

Now you see, she's already acting as if y'all are married.

Yes, now she is behaving like we are married. Sometimes she acts as if she was a " Blond in her past Life", but I think this is an ACT. She has had a difficult life, and I know I have to earn her trust, as she is earning mine. I know her coming to a strange land, and leaving all she has went through all of her life, is not easy. That takes a strong will. along with much faith, and trust.

 

One other thing I have learned, my wife thought/thinks that all USA men are loose with their money. She used to tell me she needed money for rent then I sent it to her. To my surprise, she had saved most all of it. When I asked her why she did this she replied "USA man no understand how keep money." Yes I was tricked but in a pleasant way.

That behavior would be a big no no for me. I am retired, and manage very well. I make my extra pocket money with buy-sell or repairing autos part time, and have a rental unit for income. I invested my money in CDs, long term that are doing very good. Would hate to think I cashed in a CD or one of my buy-sell items, to send money to someone that ask for it under false pretense. Glad your worked out well though. B)

 

The main thing the wife meant was saving money on the grocery bill. I would have to take another look at a woman that went to big restaurants often.

[Highlander]

For sure do not give up on her just yet. Just keep your eyes open. It could be a case of a woman who had done with out for so long now not knowing how to have restraint when she dose have access to some income.

 

One readflag I saw was the fact she somehow let you know she has friends who have well off boyfriends sending them 500.00 a month. Also the fact she has cut off the E-mail trying to get your to do what she wants.....

 

I dont know maybe give her a test of some sort, maybe contact her threw a Unknown Email address pretending to be a new guy interested in her and see if she bites...

 

 

Talk to Timb.... he has a funny signature timeline on his account...read it and you will understand what I mean. Ask him what the signs he had were reguarding the 1st girl.

I hope we are all over reacting to her at this point but I would rather be safe then sorry and see you get hurt or taken for large sums of cash....

 

You seem like a nice guy and you deserve a good woman...

 

 

Robert

 

 

Robert, I see you have a good head on your shoulders, same as your wife. I do not give up easy. I have a lot of patience, so I will play, WAIT & SEE ,,,for now. I lived and worked in the Big city, 30 years, and learned not to trust anyone, including family, sad but true. Here in the high country, there are signs,,DO NOT FEED THE BEARS,, for that will get them out of their natural habits to survive. On dating website, there are signs,,DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE,, for that will get someone out of their natural way of life,,NOW, I understand (mingbai) the signs.

[Highlander]

My wife has an apartment in Chongqing,pays rent by the year,in fact will be due in March.Its not very much,i think its 3000 yuan for the whole year.

 

jimi

Yes the rent is not very much. My Fiancee has always paid by 6 month terms, I believe. My principle point is ,that she did not "prepare" for the rent coming due very soon, thinking that this wealthy American will pay for the rent, which I will.

 

Now you see, she's already acting as if y'all are married.

Yes, now she is behaving like we are married. Sometimes she acts as if she was a " Blond in her past Life", but I think this is an ACT. She has had a difficult life, and I know I have to earn her trust, as she is earning mine. I know her coming to a strange land, and leaving all she has went through all of her life, is not easy. That takes a strong will. along with much faith, and trust.

 

One other thing I have learned, my wife thought/thinks that all USA men are loose with their money. She used to tell me she needed money for rent then I sent it to her. To my surprise, she had saved most all of it. When I asked her why she did this she replied "USA man no understand how keep money." Yes I was tricked but in a pleasant way.

That behavior would be a big no no for me. I am retired, and manage very well. I make my extra pocket money with buy-sell or repairing autos part time, and have a rental unit for income. I invested my money in CDs, long term that are doing very good. Would hate to think I cashed in a CD or one of my buy-sell items, to send money to someone that ask for it under false pretense. Glad your worked out well though. B)

 

The main thing the wife meant was saving money on the grocery bill. I would have to take another look at a woman that went to big restaurants often.

Most of my groceries come out of my little garden. This year I planted many Chinese vegetables, that seem to do very good. Some of my friends and I trade fruits and vegetables, so grocery bills in the summer are very low.

[Highlander]

Well, after last nights chat session, and sleeping on it, I believe things are NOT looking good. 2008 info does not seem like 2009 info, and early 09 info does NOT look like Oct 09 info. Wait-see, I guess.