Don't kid yourself: Chinese women are difficult to live with

[griz326]

Under the very best of circumstances, living with a strong-willed Chinese woman can be very difficult. Some people here will share this experience and some may not.

 

I am very easy to live/work with until you try to be my BOSS and give me ORDERS.

 

In the course of the last year, Lao Po has tried to change me, boss me and order me around. I don't like the role of A-hole, so at first I accommodated her odd requests with protests after the fact. It escalated, so I decided I had to demonstrate I could be a hard-ass or I could be a partner. This worked.

 

My theory is that my gal had to fight for every tiny bit of latitude she got in her previous marriage...and when I was so easy to live with decided she wanted to be boss. ...only to discover that NO WOMAN henpecks this man, NO WOMAN bosses this man, NO WOMAN changes this man and life gets uncomfortable when that sort of feminine pressure is exerted.

 

I think my gal has finally figured out that I will stand on my head to make her happy (or support her even if I don't like the promises she made)...so long as she is willing to work in partnership with me.

 

As we approach our first anniversary, I thought this realization might be useful to easy going guys preparing to marry a Chinese woman. Do not expect them to be docile and subservient; they may be, but you won't know that for certain until after you are married.

 

Fortunately, I married a good woman with a fabulous sense of humor who seems is enough to understand she cannot move this mountain, but can live with and enjoy the best this mountain has to offer.

Edited July 26, 2009 by griz326 (see edit history)

[Dennis143]

Under the very best of circumstances, living with a strong-willed Chinese woman can be very difficult. Some people here will share this experience and some may not.

 

I am very easy to live/work with until you try to be my BOSS and give me ORDERS.

 

In the course of the last year, Lao Po has tried to change me, boss me and order me around. I don't like the role of A-hole, so at first I accommodated her odd requests with protests after the fact. It escalated, so I decided I had to demonstrate I could be a hard-ass or I could be a partner. This worked.

 

My theory is that my gal had to fight for every tiny bit of latitude she got in her previous marriage...and when I was so easy to live with decided she wanted to be boss. ...only to discover that NO WOMAN henpecks this man, NO WOMAN bosses this man, NO WOMAN changes this man and life gets uncomfortable when that sort of feminine pressure is exerted.

 

I think my gal has finally figured out that I will stand on my head to make her happy (or support her even if I don't like the promises she made)...so long as she is willing to work in partnership with me.

 

As we approach our first anniversary, I thought this realization might be useful to easy going guys preparing to marry a Chinese woman. Do not expect them to be docile and subservient; they may be, but you won't know that for certain until after you are married.

 

Fortunately, I married a good woman with a fabulous sense of humor who seems is enough to understand she cannot move this mountain, but can live with and enjoy the best this mountain has to offer.

Really nice to read that last paragraph, Griz. Especially after reading some of your recent quandaries.

 

I often tell and explain to my many Chinese female friends how American men seek an Asian wife thinking they're more docile and submissive that western women. I, along with my Chinese friends, get a good laugh.

[warpedbored]

Good story Griz. Sounds to me like sa jiao meets head on with American stubborness.

[tonado]

Living together with anyone is difficult.

[tsap seui]

Griz, I enjoy reading your stories and how life is treatin' you and your wife.

 

I was always a "mountain" in my two previous marriages. I too, bent over backwards to give my ex's happiness...."as I interrpruted happiness for them." Yessir, I was the real king of my domain.

 

With the fiesty lil' rabbit I have been given the gift of actually listening to her advice, and her thoughts about what she needs for her happiness.

 

I don't have a clue where the gift of so easily hearing and thinking and caring about my wifes thoughts, wants, and wishes came from. I can only look at it as a gift, and part of the package that came along with meeting the lil' rabbit. I have never in my life communicated so easily with a woman, nor have I enjoyed a fiesty woman as much as I do the lil' rabbit.

 

My wife has a saying, "You give me good, I give you double good in return...you give me happiness, I always give you double happiness."

Such a deal , huh? Took me awhile to catch on, but buddy it works like a charm. A feller couldn't slap this grin offa my face....give good, get double good in return.

 

tsap seui

[amanda1969]

To love somebody is one thing but to live with might be another thing. Good and bad would come altogether but is real life.