Age is Just a Number

[Bert]

Age doesn't seem to mean much in China. When I first met my fiancee, she asked my age and then I asked her age. She just picked a number. She later explained that no Chinese women is going to tell you her real age when you first meet. I remember being met with laughter when I asked her best friend what her age was.

 

My fiancee finally told me her "real" age. It is further complicated in that the Chinese count age by the Lunar Calendar. As it turns out, her "real" age didn't match her ID. Her mother gave the wrong age when the police force her to register her daughters, probably trying to hide disguise the fact that she had a sister, or perhaps someone just made a mistake. So, I finally think I know her birth year. Then I see on Facebook a different year. She say, "Well, that is the year by father says I was born, but I was born so late in the year that I claim the next year." Sounds so logical to her. I think I finally know the year. We celebrated her birthday last December and we had the candles for her age. Three months later she tells someone she is a year older. I'm like "3 months ago you with such and such age". She says matter of factly, "That was last year." Oh, boy. Her family has two hukou bins. One shows her father's birthday 8 years off.

 

Quite often, Jie will encounter a woman she doesn't know. The woman will tell her how old they think I am and how they think she is, but they never tell each other their ages. This happened maybe 5 times in the short time I was in Guangzhou. The Chinese are just as bad a guessing my age as I am guessing their age ...lol. The youngest guess so far for me is 20. The oldest, 30. Nowhere close. They usually tell my fiancee that she is approaching 30. Drives her nuts. I just tell her I am robbing her youth ...lol.

 

OTOH, there was this guy they were telling me about that was 75 years old. He was very old and tired, they said. I envisioned a skinny, gray haired old man on his deathbed. When I met him, I would have said he was no older than me.

 

There is this Chinese woman at work that if I had met on the street, I would have put her age at 18. I figured to be in her position, she had to be at least 22 or 23. She is 35, still living at home with her parents.

 

Age just doesn't seem important here.

[GZBILL]

Age just doesn't seem important here.

 

In relationships, maybe, but it makes a big difference if you are in the job market. Huge difference.

[warpedbored]

Age just doesn't seem important here.

 

In relationships, maybe, but it makes a big difference if you are in the job market. Huge difference.

Especially for women.

[knloregon]

In the job market it matters. particularly if you are a woman----even at universities, regardless of gender, advertising for faculty----a place where you would expect a premium on experience and wisdom---they have an upper limit for professors....

 

But strangely, not so much in personal relationships---at least---America is much more "ageist" than China-----and let me go out on a limb here, but I think we can thank American feminism for some of the difference.

[rogerluli]

It seems to me to be the other way around in the work place...In China you are RETIRED from your job automatically at a certain age because they need that position for a younger person...In the US you can keep working until they cart you away if you wish...

[Randy W]

One of the Chinese women at work looks (and sounds) closer to 15

[samsong]

Birthdays don't seem too be as important with the Chinese as they are here with Americans in the United States. In the US we celebrate with cake and ice cream and we try not to forget a birthday but my wife shows no such inclinations like that. I learned from her that birthdays aren't that important. She hardly remembers mine but I remember hers. I've always been good at remembering birthdays anyways. Thus, another difference in cultures I have learned.

[fineart]

Age just doesn't seem important here.

 

In relationships, maybe, but it makes a big difference if you are in the job market. Huge difference.

Especially for women.

True!

And an American lady who is 58 but looks like 38 years old told me, she has experienced age discrimination during her job hunting. She said, as long as you are a young blonde and sexy, it is very easy to find a job.

[Jeikun]

Birthdays don't seem too be as important with the Chinese as they are here with Americans in the United States. In the US we celebrate with cake and ice cream and we try not to forget a birthday but my wife shows no such inclinations like that. I learned from her that birthdays aren't that important. She hardly remembers mine but I remember hers. I've always been good at remembering birthdays anyways. Thus, another difference in cultures I have learned.

 

 

This may be a generational thing. Jun was as much about celebrating birthdays (hers, her brother's, mine, my dad's, her dog's...) as any American I knew.

[warpedbored]

Birthdays don't seem too be as important with the Chinese as they are here with Americans in the United States. In the US we celebrate with cake and ice cream and we try not to forget a birthday but my wife shows no such inclinations like that. I learned from her that birthdays aren't that important. She hardly remembers mine but I remember hers. I've always been good at remembering birthdays anyways. Thus, another difference in cultures I have learned.

 

 

This may be a generational thing. Jun was as much about celebrating birthdays (hers, her brother's, mine, my dad's, her dog's...) as any American I knew.

Could be Jason. My wife is more like his.

[samsong]

Birthdays don't seem too be as important with the Chinese as they are here with Americans in the United States. In the US we celebrate with cake and ice cream and we try not to forget a birthday but my wife shows no such inclinations like that. I learned from her that birthdays aren't that important. She hardly remembers mine but I remember hers. I've always been good at remembering birthdays anyways. Thus, another difference in cultures I have learned.

 

 

This may be a generational thing. Jun was as much about celebrating birthdays (hers, her brother's, mine, my dad's, her dog's...) as any American I knew.

Could be Jason. My wife is more like his.

Well, last year on my birthday, not only did my wife forget (didn't remember), she started to argue with me! I just shrugged it off because I know her demeanor. She hasn't any feelings about birthdays, it's just another day to her. She doesn't know her mother's birthday but I guess it's just as well. Her mother doesn't know her own birthday either!

In addition, my wife's passport, birth certificate, etc. shows her birth year as 1962 but her university documents show her born in 1959 which would make her older than me!...Go figure!

We talked about that one time ans she's very sensitive about it. I would tease her and say that I've always been keen to older women!...lol. She would turn red as a beet.

She says that her parents "fibbed" about her age to get her enrolled into elementary school at an earlier time. She says that was a common practice among people back in those days.

[amberjack1234]

Every time that we buy groceries and there is some beer in the cart the girl at the register will always ask my wife for her drivers license. It ticks my wife off every time. I tell her that she should take it as a compliment but she don't.

 

The few times that we have been to the ABC store they refuse to sell to her even though she has her own credit card. She usually don't carry her drivers license with her for that matter she does not carry a purse or wallet of any kind, strange. So when she is ask for it she has to hunt me down and bring me to the cashier. We usually buy VO for friends and relatives in China when we go back home. She will not go there anymore. She is 35, shusssssshhhhh don't tell her I told you.

 

Larry

[Guest Pommey]

Jin is asked for ID often when even just buying smokes, guess she looks 17 to many