Familys U.S/China

[IllinoisDave]

[quote name='Bert-Jie Lin' post='493164' date='May 16 2009, 12:50

I remember one workplace where the company's slogan was "God, Family, and ***(company name here)". One colleague told me he had an issue with it. "First of all, not everyone believes in God", he said, "besides, there are a couple of things in addition to my family on my list of priorities above the company". He was actually a great colleague to work with.

I'd have to agree with your colleague. Very inappropriate IMO for a company to be dictating personal priorities that include religion. And there's a bunch of stuff I'd put on that list ahead of work, like almost everything. When I"m at work they get more than an honest day's work from me and the work I do is thorough and accurate. But when I leave, I leave it all behind. The other 15 to 16 hours of the day are mine.

 

Now I do realize that I'm very lucky to have a job where that's possible and that not everyone is so lucky.

[knloregon]

huge number of posts here which re-enforce the original point----individuals expressing individual opinions about how they want to live---within the context of their family members.

 

I totally understand, and agree, in fact, I turned my back on some family members in my early 20's because I viewed them of less value than close friends. In hind sight, I think I made the right choice, although maybe a too abrupt.

 

Point being, that's not the Chinese way... More likely to be pissed off, but ultimately, obedient to the extended family structure----and as GZBILL pointed out----thats a very significant social strength of the Chinese.

[Feathers268]

The "ideal family life" is different for every family, no matter the culture. And as always, over-generalizations of any country or culture are never good.

 

While some may consider the lack of "closeness" among some families in the US after fledglings have left the nest to be a cultural deficiency, others may find the same defiency in the practice of some Chinese families to leave their children in the countryside while they work in the city and only seen them once a year for a week or two.

 

There are many dynamics at play in both countries that account for differences in the definition of the "ideal family life."

I have to agree with what Dave said. It is a matter of perception of values that are very different. As Americans, we can find differences in family values that in our eyes may question things going the either way.

On big example, in a couple of weeks, Jen will be headed to China probably for 3 months. To most of my American friends, this is unheard of. The fact that my wife will leave for so long does not seem right to them.

We try to teach our children to be independent and capable of caring for themselves as adults. At the same time we as parents do not expect that they will care for us in old age but rather plan and save to take care of ourselves.

On the same token, I've seen Jen chang plans and ideas simply because her mother says so. I don't get the same from my parents because they know that if I don't agree, I'm not going to do it, and as an adult, there in nothing they could do about it. But then, they are proud of my ability to think and act for myself.

Sure, this does not include every American, the only thing the same to everyone is the freedom to conduct family business as they see fit.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

 

I have to agree with what Dave said. It is a matter of perception of values that are very different. As Americans, we can find differences in family values that in our eyes may question things going the either way.

On big example, in a couple of weeks, Jen will be headed to China probably for 3 months. To most of my American friends, this is unheard of. The fact that my wife will leave for so long does not seem right to them.

We try to teach our children to be independent and capable of caring for themselves as adults. At the same time we as parents do not expect that they will care for us in old age but rather plan and save to take care of ourselves.

On the same token, I've seen Jen chang plans and ideas simply because her mother says so. I don't get the same from my parents because they know that if I don't agree, I'm not going to do it, and as an adult, there in nothing they could do about it. But then, they are proud of my ability to think and act for myself.

Sure, this does not include every American, the only thing the same to everyone is the freedom to conduct family business as they see fit.

 

You make a good point. It seems that several American families opt to marry, and spend time with one another, and if they have children, choose to spend time with their new family, rather than parents and other relatives. Much of this is done out of necessity rather than choice, but it likely started as families were forced to move to new cities and states to find work.

 

If you compare that to China, it's only been in the very recent history, that children have started moving away from home to take a job. Still, they try to maintain ties with their family by sending money home to their parents and visiting; especially during the Chinese New Year.