I NEED HELP!!!

[Bob & Minglian]

Although I am not "one of the sisters" I will still comment. What a most unfortunate situation for anyone. How would any one of us feel if our loved one arrived in the U.S. and he or she had a change of heart? While there may be another side to this story, one that we certainly don't know, perhaps, there is not. Maybe a truly heartless act was done and she was the unlucky recipient. Now what does she do? It's true she could return to China, her homeland, and, I would sincerely hope, get the emotional support she must be needing right now. Yet for her, how does she save face with her family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintences when she returns? A likely elated departure from China and now the return feeling rejected, lost, and wondering about her future that just recently seemed so happy and full of promise. Again, imagine yourself going through this. I think for anyone of us it cannot be all that difficult to picture. So, let's take her at face value. What I hear from her is a plea for help. Does anyone on Candle know of a way she can legally stay in the U.S.? That 90-day clock is ticking loudly for her and she is struggling to find a solution soon. Does she have just the one option, a return trip to China?

[Guest sanfranciscojoe]

if you do not return to China, you will violate the law. Do you want to be a criminal hiding from the immigration authorities? If not, do the right thing, the legal thing and the moral thing and go home. You asked for helpful advice. Now you have it.

[Guest sanfranciscojoe]

Immigration fraud is a crime. All readers should consider two doctrines of criminal law: aiding and abetting a crime and conspiracy to commit a crime. Most of you are probably familiar with these concepts, at least in general terms. Please consider these concepts before advising, encouraging, assisting, or referring this poster.

Please also consider that, for all we know, this post may be disingenuous or even a trap.

[Dave G.]

From: http://www.bcis.gov/graphics/howdoi/fiance.htm

 

"If your fiancé(e) is not a citizen of the United States and you plan to get married in the United States, then you must file a petition with BCIS on behalf of your fiancé(e). After the petition is approved, your fiancé(e) must obtain a visa issued at a U.S. Embassy or consulate abroad. The marriage must take place within 90 days of your fiancé(e) entering the United States. If the marriage does not take place within 90 days or your fiancé(e) marries someone other than you (the U.S. citizen filing BCIS Form I-129F - Petition for Alien Fiancé), your fiancé(e) will be required to leave the United States. Until the marriage takes place, your fiancé(e) is considered a nonimmigrant. A nonimmigrant is a foreign national seeking to temporarily enter the United States for a specific purpose. A fiancé(e) may not obtain an extension of the 90-day original nonimmigrant admission."

 

Come on folks. The sympathy expressed in this thread is understandable. Poorlady -- if genuine (and I have my doubts) -- tells a tragic story. But, would we also tell her if she's angry with the guy, go kill him? If she needs money for a ticket home, go rob a bank? Think not. Why then can we even remotely advise her to stay if she wants to?

 

We know there are many good and bad people in the world. If poorlady found a bad one, it has NOTHING to do with him being an American. He's an ass who just happens to be American. Let's not get all worked up about nationalities. Think about those few Chinese who have screwed their fiances. Do we blame all of China? No...just those few bad apples.

 

So...poorlady...forgive me if I'm wrong. If what you share is the real deal, I'm very sorry too. But, please don't take this experience and apply it to all Americans. We call that bigotry in my country. If you cannot reconcile the relationship, you'll have to go home. Shattered dreams, humiliation, disappointment. I (we) understand. But, stay here as a criminal? Always looking over your shoulder? Going to a US prison possibly? Try it, and you'll really taste shattered dreams and humiliation. After your release, you still get deported. Please...don't make matters worse for yourself. Please don't abuse our laws. You need the love and support of family and friends. They are waiting for you back in China.

[Guest enight]

... she can stay here without problem..

 

none will catch her and put her in jail.

 

there are 7 million illegal immigrants in United States

, why she has to go back if she wants to stay?

[Guest jimb]

There is a lot of misinformation being handed out here. This woman is not here illegaly and if she overstays her visa, she will be out of status and not illegal. The worse she will recieve is a 3 to 10 year ban on re-entering the US if she overstays more than 180 days. There are many thousands of people who over stay their visa, and incur no penalty. It is even possible for her to get married, and adjust status on that basis. I would suggest an immigration attorney. for that. But it happens often that people enter the US on a visitors visa and get married.

 

jimb

[tonado]

Poorlady,

 

Sorry to hear about your sad story. Do you have any friends in NYC that can help you with getting you a temp place to live and food. Living in NY is very expensive. I wonder if you marry an American (not the petitioner)within the 90th day and do the AOS, then you are allowed to stay in USA legally. Consult an attorney. I heard that it is possible.

[Dave G.]

... she can stay here without problem..

 

none will catch her and put her in jail.

 

there are 7 million illegal immigrants in United States

, why she has to go back if she wants to stay?  

Sooooooo........

 

What I posted from the BCIS is inaccurate? I thought it was pretty cut and dry.

 

"The marriage must take place within 90 days of your fiancé(e) entering the United States. If the marriage does not take place within 90 days or your fiancé(e) marries someone other than you (the U.S. citizen filing BCIS Form I-129F - Petition for Alien Fiancé), your fiancé(e) will be required to leave the United States."

(Finally learned how to use color...hee hee) http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/j0/lightbul.gif

 

There are 7 million illegal immigrants in United States.

So, 7,000,001 is okay too? It's okay because everyone is doing it? If seven million people jumped off a cliff......okay, you get my point.

 

I guess I get upset cuz we are all working so hard. It's a privilege...not a right...to immigrate to the US. Those seven million are making it tough for the rest of us. Anyone look at the headlines this week? Illegal Swiss guy commits either fraud or attempted murder for hire. Illegal Honduran is the serial rapist in Miami. No....most illegals aren't bad. Don't get started on that chat. But, these cases have the tendency to turn people off to illegals and therefore prompts more legislation about legally immigrating to the US. Yeah....just what we need......http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/t/splat.gif

[Dave G.]

There is a lot of misinformation being handed out here.  This woman is not here illegaly and if she overstays her visa,  she will be out of status and not illegal.  The worse she will recieve is a 3 to 10 year ban on re-entering the US if she overstays more than 180 days.  There are many thousands of people who over stay their visa, and incur no penalty.  It is even possible for her to get married, and adjust status on that basis.   I would suggest an immigration attorney. for that.  But it happens often that people enter the US on a visitors visa and get married.

 

jimb

Can you post the law you're referencing for us?

[Guest enight]

So, 7,000,001 is okay too?  It's okay because everyone is doing it?  If seven million people jumped off a cliff......okay, you get my point.

...rules are set by gov or power group to let the others follow with their opinion. but does the gov and the power group always follow with the rules which they set?

 

... life is precious and various, every indivdual has to fight to survival or gain a better life... glad our ancestor didn't follow with rules to stay in jungle, otherwise we will not be able to sitting here and discussing this issue.

[gigibebe]

Hi Everybody,

Whatever the laws are if she can stay or not is not as important as can she take care of herself in NEW YORK, The cost of living is very high there, and the job market is not what it use to be. She should really think about that first, what is she going to do for income,place to live, etc. Will she really have a good life there? Maybe in the long run but I can tell you for sure in the short term it will be like hell if she don't have friends or family there. JMHO

[Dave G.]

So, 7,000,001 is okay too?  It's okay because everyone is doing it?  If seven million people jumped off a cliff......okay, you get my point.

...rules are set by gov or power group to let the others follow with their opinion. but does the gov and the power group always follow with the rules which they set?

 

... life is precious and various, every indivdual has to fight to survival or gain a better life... glad our ancestor didn't follow with rules to stay in jungle, otherwise we will not be able to sitting here and discussing this issue.

I don't know about you, but this is becoming very interesting. Let's have some fun on a quiet Sunday morning.

 

What you now introduce is the morality of laws and how we think of laws. Take a peek at:

 

http://www.mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap3/chap3h.htm

 

Seems I'm at Stage 4 in my thinking....perhaps you're more progressed at stage 6. Neither is right or wrong/better or worse....just different ways of approaching things. However, if the population was all at stage 6, anarchy would prevail. "I'm true to my own values." Honorable, but something needs to be in place to keep civilization organized. That "something" includes laws. Laws are meaningless unless enforced, e.g., there are consquences for not following them. Ideally, poorlady should be able to stay. She got screwed and deserves some compensation. But in this case, the government isn't responsible. The jerk who dumped her is. If her story is legit, I'd love to have one of those special jade_yan meetings with him.

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/k0/smashfreak.gif

[Guest enight]

http://www.mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap3/chap3h.htm

...don't find myself fit in any of them?!

 

Dave... you sure that page concluded all the moral behaviors?

[Dave G.]

... life is precious and various, every indivdual has to fight to survival or gain a better life... glad our ancestor didn't follow with rules to stay in jungle, otherwise we will not be able to sitting here and discussing this issue.  

Your quote made me think about the Kohlberg stuff.

 

"They do not automatically conform to tradition or others' beliefs or even to their own emotions, intuition, or impulsive notions about right and wrong. Stage 6 people carefully choose basic principles to follow, such as caring for and respecting every living thing, feeling that we are all equal and deserve equal opportunities, or, stated differently, the Golden Rule. They are strong enough to act on their values even if others may think they are odd or if their beliefs are against the law, such as refusing to fight in a war."

 

Your views about poorthang are admirable. You see the situation as described and feel she "deserves" to stay because she was screwed. Even if staying transcends the law. Her hopes and dreams have been dashed, not to mention her heart. She has apparantly done nothing wrong, so why should she be further "punished" by being sent back home...kicked out of a country? As I read it, that's a good example of Stage 6 thinking. http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/j0/clever.gif

[gigibebe]

So, 7,000,001 is okay too?  It's okay because everyone is doing it?  If seven million people jumped off a cliff......okay, you get my point.

...rules are set by gov or power group to let the others follow with their opinion. but does the gov and the power group always follow with the rules which they set?

 

... life is precious and various, every indivdual has to fight to survival or gain a better life... glad our ancestor didn't follow with rules to stay in jungle, otherwise we will not be able to sitting here and discussing this issue.

I don't know about you, but this is becoming very interesting. Let's have some fun on a quiet Sunday morning.

 

What you now introduce is the morality of laws and how we think of laws. Take a peek at:

 

http://www.mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap3/chap3h.htm

 

Seems I'm at Stage 4 in my thinking....perhaps you're more progressed at stage 6. Neither is right or wrong/better or worse....just different ways of approaching things. However, if the population was all at stage 6, anarchy would prevail. "I'm true to my own values." Honorable, but something needs to be in place to keep civilization organized. That "something" includes laws. Laws are meaningless unless enforced, e.g., there are consquences for not following them. Ideally, poorlady should be able to stay. She got screwed and deserves some compensation. But in this case, the government isn't responsible. The jerk who dumped her is. If her story is legit, I'd love to have one of those special jade_yan meetings with him.

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/k0/smashfreak.gif

This is Great!!! It is becomming interesting