Love

[izus]

It's very very frustrating when a man writes you tons of love poems and never addresses your concerns for a future together and never mentions any actual planning for a future together.

Can it be considered emotional disorder cuz this man is always absorbed in his beautiful poems?

 

Some people have a real gift with the written word. I guess everyone wants to see the beef.

why thank you Jesse.

im not sure if thats what Eunice meant.

[LaurenAmber]

Also i want to add that i'm so sick of the notion that all asian men are incapable of affection/lovey dovey-ness. My husband is actually a very romantic person. He maybe not be the "I'm here my fair princess to whisk you away to a castle" but i would never consider him not ot show his love. He does on quite a lot of occasions nad tlaks romantically. So do his friends.

 

I know some people that marry asian women feel that they're "saving" them from the drone asian men. That really is just not true. But in the same respect, you could think we American women feel that we're "saving" the Chinese men. This isn't to insult either gender, but remember who you are insulting when you make a generalization. You could say something to the effect of "I havn't seen many asian men be affectionate, does anyone have another view on this?"

 

There's generalizations of every gender and nationality. I think we all safely want to avoid those and the hurt they cause. However i've seen a couple places on here were asian men are accused of not being lovey dovey. There are exceptions of EVERY rule, and this is a forum where you should not make such comments.

 

Back on the topic of sweet love lol Sorry but i just had to offer my two cents because it's been bothering me

Edited October 31, 2008 by LaurenAmber (see edit history)

[Guest Rob & Jin]

Also i want to add that i'm so sick of the notion that all asian men are incapable of affection/lovey dovey-ness. My husband is actually a very romantic person. He maybe not be the "I'm here my fair princess to whisk you away to a castle" but i would never consider him not ot show his love. He does on quite a lot of occasions nad tlaks romantically. So do his friends.

 

I know some people that marry asian women feel that they're "saving" them from the drone asian men. That really is just not true. But in the same respect, you could think we American women feel that we're "saving" the Chinese men. This isn't to insult either gender, but remember who you are insulting when you make a generalization. You could say something to the effect of "I havn't seen many asian men be affectionate, does anyone have another view on this?"

 

There's generalizations of every gender and nationality. I think we all safely want to avoid those and the hurt they cause. However i've seen a couple places on here were asian men are accused of not being lovey dovey. There are exceptions of EVERY rule, and this is a forum where you should not make such comments.

 

Back on the topic of sweet love lol Sorry but i just had to offer my two cents because it's been bothering me

 

 

THAT TOLD THEM

[Mike62356]

Also i want to add that i'm so sick of the notion that all asian men are incapable of affection/lovey dovey-ness. My husband is actually a very romantic person. He maybe not be the "I'm here my fair princess to whisk you away to a castle" but i would never consider him not ot show his love. He does on quite a lot of occasions nad tlaks romantically. So do his friends.

 

I know some people that marry asian women feel that they're "saving" them from the drone asian men. That really is just not true. But in the same respect, you could think we American women feel that we're "saving" the Chinese men. This isn't to insult either gender, but remember who you are insulting when you make a generalization. You could say something to the effect of "I havn't seen many asian men be affectionate, does anyone have another view on this?"

 

There's generalizations of every gender and nationality. I think we all safely want to avoid those and the hurt they cause. However i've seen a couple places on here were asian men are accused of not being lovey dovey. There are exceptions of EVERY rule, and this is a forum where you should not make such comments.

 

Back on the topic of sweet love lol Sorry but i just had to offer my two cents because it's been bothering me

Thank you Amber, I will try to remember that, we don't have enough of the other side of the coin so to speak, here.

[LaurenAmber]

THAT TOLD THEM

 

Thank you. I've just been getting so sick of it.

 

 

Thank you Amber, I will try to remember that, we don't have enough of the other side of the coin so to speak, here. B)

 

Thank you for understanding. It just really bothers me because i don't think any ill thoughts against Chinese women just because my husband chose to marry an American woman. Maybe guys just have a "Knight In Shining Armor" complex lol <3

 

And i'll definitely offer what i know about the Chinese men as long as it's asked in a polite way and not accusing them

[warpedbored]

Good post Lauren. I too get tired of generalizations that somehow American women and Chinese men are no good. I often remind people that American women are our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts and nieces.

 

My brother in law in China is one of the nicest men I have ever met and treats his wife very well. There are abusive men in every culture. I don't believe that there is a larger percentage of them in China than in the USA.

[Guest jin979]

I have brother, cousins ,uncles friends all very good.

[amanda1969]

Love is:

 

In many years, when I am very old with my gray hair full of my head and many wrinkles on my face, at the beach, my husband still would like to hold my hands, look into my old eyes, kiss me and hug me with his sexy and tender voice, " Jian, I love you!"

 

http://www.6lu.cn/id01/b/14/images/www.6Lu.cn_FR012_L.jpg

[Guest jin979]

Love is:

 

In many years, when I am very old with my gray hair full of my head and many wrinkles on my face, at the beach, my husband still would like to hold my hands, look into my old eyes, kiss me and hug me with his sexy and tender voice, " Jian, I love you!"

 

http://www.6lu.cn/id01/b/14/images/www.6Lu.cn_FR012_L.jpg

 

 

 

 

[LaurenAmber]

Good post Lauren. I too get tired of generalizations that somehow American women and Chinese men are no good. I often remind people that American women are our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts and nieces.

 

My brother in law in China is one of the nicest men I have ever met and treats his wife very well. There are abusive men in every culture. I don't believe that there is a larger percentage of them in China than in the USA.

 

THe mother, sister, daughter comment was actually the next point i was going to make.

 

And yeh, i've known plenty of abusive American men (and dated them too). Any generalization like that we can always flip around. I mean, I could say my husband "saved" me from the 'watching-football-get-me-a-beer-etc-etc' American men. Yes it's a stereotype that American men watch a ton of football, drink beer, and are disrespectful to thier wives. But do i assume that all of you guys are? No. Is that why i married my husband? No. Did my husband marry me because there was something terrible about Chinese women? No.

 

One bad apple doesn't have to spoil the whole bunch, just use your head.

 

 

I have brother, cousins ,uncles friends all very good.

 

Exactly Jin, that was the point i was also making. All the men in my Chinese family are great people and even are romantic individuals.

[Mike62356]

Our children are what we teach them to be, I mean if we teach them to hate then they will hate, if we teach them not to generalize then they will look at people as individuals.

[LaurenAmber]

For me love is to give all and expect nothing in return, and to never expect to recieve but to prove your gratefulness when you do.

 

Like my husband took amazing care of me when I was sick, and never expected me to thank him or anything. He happily took care of me because he's my husband. But then when I felt better, i spent some time doing my best to tell my husband romantic thank yous in Chinese to show him I had been studying.

Earlier in our relationship, Xiahong would thank me when I did things for her. I'd tell her, "don't thank me - I'm your husband" meaning it was my duty as a good husband. She turned the tables on me when would thank her for something she did for me. Basically we do for each other because we are one.

 

Yeh i didn't mean that you should always say thank you, but you should always at least SHOW that you are grateful. You don't wha your spouse to fel unappreciated. It's all about give and recieve, and to not EXPECT either of those.

[mchina34]

To a Chinese its action. not words

 

AGREE ?

 

 

Speaking on behalf of all humans, I disagree. Love is something you feel, not do. What you do is a result of how you feel. Therefore you are said to love someone if you do nice things to/for them. These nice things are done because of the way you feel toward them - a result of how you feel.

Edited November 5, 2008 by mchina34 (see edit history)

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

To a Chinese its action. not words

 

AGREE ?

 

 

Speaking on behalf of all humans, I disagree. Love is something you feel, not do. What you do is a result of how you feel. Therefore you are said to love someone if you do nice things to/for them. These nice things are done because of the way you feel toward them - a result of how you feel.

 

Since when? Some people care enough about their fellow man to be kind and loving to them, even when they don't love them.

[mchina34]

To a Chinese its action. not words

 

AGREE ?

 

 

Speaking on behalf of all humans, I disagree. Love is something you feel, not do. What you do is a result of how you feel. Therefore you are said to love someone if you do nice things to/for them. These nice things are done because of the way you feel toward them - a result of how you feel.

 

Since when? Some people care enough about their fellow man to be kind and loving to them, even when they don't love them.

 

Love has many meanings. In this context I assumed it was related to a 'partner'. If you look in the dictionary love has many meanings, one such meaning, essentially, is 'brotherly love', the love you describe.

 

christian orgs, for instance, love all brothers of the world, therefore their actions are many including rasing money for food, clothing, etc for poor people around the world. What they feel is 'love', what they do is 'help'.

 

End of discussion from my side of the fence.