China in a Nutshell

[shadeOgray]

China in a nutshell

 

This is a write up on my trip to China to visit my fianc.

 

If you're one of those self superior people who demand good grammar and punctuation then let me save you right now. DON'T READ THIS, you will go blind.

 

I write how I talk pure and simple and I'm not forcing you to read anything¡­yet.

You can find this writeup on my site along with a cute clip of TingTing, she's so funny.

 

Now remember I wrote this from a 1st time in China American view as I saw it at the time of each incident and This was meant to be somewhat funny. Please don't take anything I say too seriously. I love China and the people of China, I love my Ting Ting too and her family. I am far from intolerant, this trip being the 1st trip to such an alien and diverse culture for me and was indeed a learning experience. I kept my story as true to my views and feeling AT THE TIME of it's concept. Have I changed some of my beliefs since then? sure I have, as I am educated even more, life is a college. However, I wanted the write up to be in it's purest form from my views and feelings the minute I got back from China. I mean do you ever go back and look at your diary and change things from years past? That defeats it purpose. I'm happy it kind of stirred things up for some people but please don't take it so seriously. Sure you can do the Visa with out an attorney and not be a tard, maybe the village idiots thing was a bit over the top but these are the things that popped in my mind as things occurred then and there. Life is about learning and I have learned allot since then. But I am not going to stream line and edit the story as it will take away it's primary purpose, that being what I felt and thought when things happened at that exact moment. I apologize if anyone took this the wrong way. This post was originally on my personal site and I was not a member or knew anything about CFL at the time of it's writing. Also it's comment of bugger off well lets just say i was a bit frisky that day, sorry, I invite you to comment as much as you wish to but I'm not changing a thing. I simply dropped and dragged it here as a read nothing more. If I would have written it again now then sure, I would change some stuff but that like I said would have defeated the original idea of the story. I meant no disrespect to China or it's people but remember the American way of talking can often be misinterpreted by people not born and raised here. You can't please everyone so just be your self. Also at the time I wrote bugger off I was told it meant to just go away, not GFY. So thats the way I meant it when it was written, so put your pitch forks and sticks away and enjoy the read...or not.

 

Delta Hell:

 

Ok I had purchased air tickets with Delta from Pensacola, FL to Atlanta and from Atlanta to Washington DC. Then Washington DC to Beijing China on a United flight.

 

Well the flight from Pensacola to Atlanta went with out a hitch, but while taxing out on the Delta flight to Washington DC the plane had some sort of electrical display problem in the cockpit. An hour and a half later we were repaired with out deplaning and on our way. The problem is now we will land 10 minutes after my connecting flight to Beijing was in the air.

 

I rushed to Delta were I was initially treated ok. I was scheduled on the same flight 24 hours later. The guy behind the desk called for a hotel only to come up empty. He handed me 2 seven dollar food coupons for the airport and said sorry.

 

So now I am stranded for 24 hours in DC with no hotel and two meal tickets if combined could get me a basic meal in the airport. My Step dad and I called Delta customer service where we were both told to hang tight they would take care of the hotel thing. I called 40 minutes later only to find out the lady that said hold tight promptly upon hanging up with me went home. I went back to the ticket counter and asked to see the supervisor, this is when the guy became rather rude with me despite my pleasant and non provoking demeanor. The supervisor came out very defensive but I won her over and she did try and call several hotels but came up empty. She said on the sly there were rooms available but United had no contract with them and would not pay for them. All the rooms available for situations like mine were available to all the airlines, not just Delta and filled up quickly. So basically Delta screwed up, screwed me and I spent the night in the airport walking away from some mental case from Morocco.

 

Finally I asked a police officer to get this nut job away from me. Nothing like a 6' 2" 225 pound man with bad knees and a bad back trying to sleep in an upright position on a rock hard airport baggage claim chair. NEVER will I fly Delta again, talk about a ghetto airline totally unresponsive to there customers needs.

 

Day 2:

 

After my 24 hour stay in hell I was at the United gate. I told the United boarding agent what had happened to me and how I had no say in my new seat assignment.

 

If it became available if I could get a seat with a bit more leg room as I had very bad knees. Upon boarding she issued me a new ticket, 1st class, GOD BLESS United, you earned a customer for life, Delta¡­well¡­Burn in hell.

 

The flight to Beijing was as comfortable as could be and the attendants were top notch.

 

Free wine and warm peanuts served in little bowls were available during the meals which were not all that bad. Each seat had its own little fold up TV with leg room to spare!

 

Beijing:

 

When we landed and deplaned, I was instantly struck by the shear size and beauty of the airport. It was so well thought out and planned it was obvious the Chinese government had very little if any input into its concept. Obviously and wisely they hired outside help, this was the best airport I had ever seen in my life. Made every US airport look ghetto in my humble opinion, especially Seattle (SeaTac). I don't understand why a large famous city like Seattle has such a poorly equipped and thought out airport.

 

Haoting:

 

My fianc met me as soon as I cleared the baggage claim area. I was so happy and nervous I could not stop shaking and smiling. I quickly found out she was highly nervous herself and gave each other a quick hug instead of the gone with the wind kiss I had hopped for. I was expecting a well dressed woman but it was not to be, she was in a pink short sleeve shirt with some sort of white design on it and purple jeans with red sneakers.

 

But in all honesty this woman was so beautiful she could have worn a potato sack and it would have looked good.

 

While this outfit caused much eye pain the jeans fit her well, later I found out this awful clash in clothing style was common here. A third world society struggling with all the new availability and clothing options of a free world. It was also comfortable for her as she did have to travel on a 13 hour train ride from Baotou Inner Mongolia and stay an extra day curtisey of Delta (may they rot in hell).

 

We pushed through the rather substantial crowed toward the exit and into the dusty polluted air of Beijing. There was a haze every where you looked and the sun in a cloudless sky looked like a pale orange disk.

 

I wanted to take a cab to the hotel she had rented for us, albeit a bit more expensive than the bus it was quicker and less hassle. Haoting (TingTing) convinced me to take the small airport shuttle as it was cheaper so being the outsider I said fine. She went inside the airport again and purchased 2 tickets and we promptly boarded what I later found out to be the wrong bus. Now in here defense TingTing is not from here and not use to a large city either. Just because she is from this country does not make her an expert on everything here. Something the typical westerner would expect and in some cases unreasonably demand, well I am glad to say I am NOT your typical westerner.

 

The bus did take us to Beijing but on the wrong side of town. We got off and tried to hail a cab where I quickly became aware of the first of many China oddities of doing things. He would not take us as he was not allowed to pick us up on the side of the street we were on. We had to cross six lanes of insane Chinese drivers bent on running us over to get a cab. I later learned most Chinese never actually take a test of any sort and simply purchase a license. Two of TingTing's aunts she confessed both had a driver's license but neither would drive because they simply didn't know how.

 

Personally I don't see how it matters as from what I saw no one else knew how to drive either. We finally hailed a cab willing to take us to the hotel. As we exit the cab she leads me down a back alley to a place you would never expect to find a hotel much less a nice hotel. In all honesty on the outside to an American it looked rather rundown. But it was actually quite nice inside. We made it to the 2nd floor room using the stairs, neither one of us trusted Chinese elevators. The room had twin beds and as I found out and this applied to virtually every bed in china, it was slightly softer than a rock. I showered and changed so we could go eat before I passed out from hunger. We found this little restaurant where the food was so horrible I could not eat it. The cook was behind what looked like a bullet proof glass enclosure. I was musing that it's probably to keep the customers from shooting him once they taste the food. TingTing agreed it was pretty bad and we left as fast as I could pull her lips from the hot glass of water she was drinking.

 

We hailed a cab to Tiananmen Square and took several photos and had several as usual taken of the foreigner, namely me. There was a large section roped off where old ladies were patching and cleaning by hand the stone tiles making up Tiananmen Square. Probably still cleaning blood and patching bullet holes from the cowardly Tiananmen Square massacre. We then went to the Bank of China so I could exchange dollars for RMB. There was only one teller that took an average of 15 to 20 minutes per customer. When it was my turn I had to produce my passport just to exchange currency. Thank God most of my bills were brand new because he looked over each one like a crime scene investigator eventually returning 200.00 dollars to me they would not accept because each 100 dollar bill had a VERY small tare in it. So if you travel to china and want to exchange currency there, bring all new bills safely wrapped up. If there is a slight tare or slightly worn bill you're out of luck, they won't take it. As I repeatedly learned through out my trip, China and efficiency have yet to become equated. If you want to buy a train ticket for instance you need to buy it days in advance and AT the location you will be departing from. So if you want to go to Baotou from Beijing and back in a 48 hour period you will probably be out of luck as you can't buy a ticket in advance going from Baotou to Beijing until you actually arrive in Baotou. Unless you have corrupt contacts and can get the tickets ahead of everyone else. Corruption in the day to day workings in China are abundant.

 

We then went looking for another restaurant so we could get some edible food. We proceeded down a small street and found a restaurant that had ok food and we also bought a bottle of liquor to take with us. They charged me at least twice the price for it since I was a westerner and must have allot of money so I must be charged more. You will find this common if you're not from China so if you want a decent price it's best to find what you want and have a Chinese friend go buy it for you and keep out of view. As soon as you show your western face the price will usually double or worse. TingTing was a bit irritated with the situation but I convinced her to just let it drop and live and learn from the experience. Now I had to pee again and went to a public toilet, a small white building similar to what you would find at a lower end camp ground or rest stop. There were no doors on any of the stalls and the separation walls were only about 2 feet high with a hole in the floor to do you business in. This was the worst toilet facility I had ever been in. The smell was enough to make my lunch hit the back of my throat and it was all I could do to pee and get out before I lost my lunch.

 

The Train:

 

The next day we left late in the after noon for an overnight train to Baotou. The train station was undergoing construction like most buildings here. It was very busy, dirty and hot. We arrived a bit early and settled into a small eatery, I hesitate to use the word restaurant. We passed away maybe an hour of time then went to the waiting area for the final 30 minutes. The waiting area looked like a refugee holding facility, and it was here that I noticed I was getting A LOT of stairs. Many people simply had never seen a western person in real life before so I was shamelessly stared at by more than a few people. Of course I also now had to pee, TingTing lovingly pointed me toward the toilet and the smell began to hit me. I had to hold my breath, run into the 2nd most dirty and disgusting bathrooms in my life (The number one was earlier in the trip) and pee before I passed out from lack of oxygen. As I exited the men's room there was an older man just straight up staring me down, so in my unique sass of life I snapped a photo. A short time later an announcement came over the speakers and TingTing lead me toward the boarding platform. This turned into a mass exodus of pushing and shoving, I was thinking to my self if these people knew what I did for a living I would have a five foot circle around me.

 

The Chinese simply have no concept of personal space and this reflected very well in the current environment. This is also where it started to dawn on me that antiperspirant was not yet well received here. The train was simply for lack of a better term very basic, I felt like a refugee fleeing his village and this was a train full of village idiots. We had a 6 bed alcove with no door consisting of a bottom, middle and top bed. The top 2 beds were of course ours. All of the baggage storage areas were taken by the time we boarded so I used my bed to store our bags allowing TingTing time to sleep. I was able to use half my bed later in the night to curl up and get a few hours sleep. I woke early to a dusty arid dessert terrain with the occasional rundown village that appeared to have been abandoned but upon closer inspection were still in use. We talked a bit and we were both concerned about not having much time for our selves as she had a large family that wanted to meet us. Boy was that an understatement¡­

 

Baotou Inner Mongolia:

 

We arrived at the station and the shoving and pushing started and did not stop until we exited the building. It was dusty hot and we were instantly greeted by nervous and apprehensive smiles from her mom and number 3 auntie. All relatives here are usually referred to by numbers instead of there names, 3 and 1 Uncle etc¡­

 

We were quickly ushered to what I must say was an unexpectedly very luxurious car of her aunts. We were taken to a hotel where we were shown a few rooms on the 1st and 2nd floors. We settled on the twin bed as the hotel staff wanted to charge us a lot extra for a 1 bed even though, they initially stated both rooms were the same price. But seeing we wanted a single queen instead of the 2 double beds the price in true Chinese fashion went up leaving us with the less desirable room. There was no hot water and would be no hot water till the next day. TingTing's mom paid upfront 180 RMB per night for 5 days and if we liked it she offered to pay for the rest of the stay later.

 

I was impressed at this especially as TingTing would be allowed to stay with me, something generally frowned upon. But we both reluctantly made a concession to stay in Baotou and they new this because we wanted time for us to get to know one another better and we had precious little time to do it. I'll say it now that we both got along wonderfully like we had known each other for years. Her English was great and her humor was refreshing, we were truly a match made in heaven.

 

The next day we still had no shower or hot water but I was offered a sort of ticket to go down the street at a private bath, but only me. The facility only allowed men inside leaving TingTing with no way to get a shower. I was starting to get a bit irritated at this point. We finally wound up finding a hotel by the hour, paid 150 RMB for 3 hours, took a good long shower and headed back to the original hotel. We were told 8PM we would have the shower and hot water back on line, yeah heard THAT one before.

 

A note .. phones, in china almost everyone has a cell phone, even the beggar on the street I noticed had one and when a cell phone rings, it WILL be answered. You could be in the middle of a business meeting a wedding or god forbid making love and it WILL be answered with out a second thought. Smoking, there is no such term as NON-SMOKING in China and any no smoking sings are totally ignored. Even in your own home it's rude to ask someone not to smoke in your home, in fact you should have an ashtray and cigarettes available at all times for guests. If you smoke you should immediately offer one to everyone around you. If you don't, you've just labeled yourself as a selfish cheap skate as cigarettes are very cheap in China. Also if you ask for a light NEVER grab the lighter, simply assist the lighting of your cigarette by cupping both hands around the flame as you get the light. I often with a wry smile picture a Chinese surgeon operating on a patient with a Marlboro dangling from his mouth. As was our fear we got a call from mom which later turned out to be a daily thing to come visit her and dad in the hospital or some other relative. Her father was laid up with a broken hip from a motorcycle accident. We walked the two and a half blocks to the hospital taking a short cut through a bicycle storage facility part of which stank of urine.

 

Now every where I go, it's like I'm a movie star or something, constantly being stared at so if you ever travel to China, get use to it.

 

We entered the hospital through a plastic curtain, the same style that would dangle in front of a well used restaurant meat cooler. What first hit me was how old and dilapidated this facility is. It reminded me of war photos I had seen from the 1940's with old style beds and a gurney with what appeared to be small bicycle wheels at one end. There was a layer of grime on the ugly light green walls with plaster departing in several areas.

 

As we walked down the filthy hall to Dad's room we passed the toilet area and the smell was rank. I entered where her father was staying, he was at the far end of a three bed room facility with another young man with a broken leg in the next bed. There was also a female asleep in the 1st bed I learned later was his wife. Here in China the family takes care of you, bathes you, feeds you and does almost everything a western nurse would normally do including administering some medications. I was thinking if this place was in America it would be condemned and torn down. Her father's left leg was in traction and he was not allowed to leave the bed. Mom had been taking care of him and she was tired and it was showing. There marriage was an arraigned marriage, something totally out of the question in America, but they loved each other. Her father I could immediately tell was a lot like me. Full of mischievousness usually only found in a child or of course a full grown man.

 

He had a broad smile and was very polite, I like to think we clicked right away. TingTing was interpreting everything, she speaks Mongolian, Mandarin and English fluently. As I reflect on my trip I cringe at the thought of not having an interpreter with me. If it was not for TingTing life here would have simply sucked beyond belief.

 

After our visit with dad we went out to several shopping areas where I was quickly introduced to haggling over prices. Haggling is an art form here often getting you items well below half the marked price. I quickly learned I was not too bad at it when I directed TingTing on what to do as she self admittingly is not very good at it. Haggling really started to become a headache for me and often added a lot of time to the shopping experience that could have been better spent elsewhere. We did get a lot of very nice dresses for a very good price and a few shirts for me to. Finding anything here in my size was a chore to say the least.

 

The Family Grilling:

 

I was told we were going to this rather nice restaurant for a family grilling and I don't mean BBQ. This was so the family could evaluate TingTing and I as a couple but it was mostly to make sure I was not a total ass like her last American suitor. I was also previously informed by TingTing I was expected to pay or at least make a good effort to foot the bill. I am pleased to say I quickly won them over or at least appeared to. There were many questions and a lot of smoking, laughing and a bit of drinking which I politely declined. TingTing said her mom was talking very highly of me and how generous and respectful I was, how I always considered others above my self etc¡­

 

TingTing also warned me her Uncle 3 who did all the ordering often ordered way to much so I start thinking how much lighter my wallet is going to be. She said he will insist on paying as he stated earlier while he was ordering enough for a small army.

 

The food was very good and I tried everything until I felt like a pregnant yak.

 

The family of course helped me out by putting food on my plate insisting I eat.

 

I understand it is there way of being polite and assuring I was taken care of but it was more than a bit annoying after a while, I can only handle so much nice but I kept my smile and demeanor.

 

At some point Uncle3 quickly with the skill of a ninja warrior made his way out the door to pay the bill. TingTing quickly grabbed my arm and said "Uncle just went to pay bill!" So with the speed of a Texas jack rabbit we were both out the door chasing him down.

 

I insisted politely and with a good deal of effort that I would pay the bill but he would not relent. He is a very fun generous man and just as stubborn when he sets his mind to it.

 

TingTing and I lost that battle and we went back to the private dinning room. After the meal I noticed TingTing tear up and cry and her mother did to, I asked her what was wrong. She said nothing was wrong, we just got the family's approval to be engaged and she and her mom were very happy.

 

After the meal and a mass toilet break we jumped into Auntie 3's car and was informed we were going to drive around the area to show me more of the city. Auntie 3 is one of those strong willed people with a sarcastic humor, I liked her a lot, I liked her entire family. We stopped at this large well lit building in the center of Baotou and was informed we were waiting on another cousin who just had to meet me tonight. It was late and I was tired and getting a bit fatigued. Admittedly I was not enthused and ready for bed and some rare alone time with my fianc but I kept my smile and positive attitude and waited. The cousin showed up about half an hour later and spoke some English, he was very nice and asked many questions. After our little question and answer meeting with the cousin we dropped off mom with a huge haul of extra food for dad and went back to our hotel. We still had no hot water but it was on in the morning just as we were looking around for another hotel to stay in.

 

The Engagement Party:

 

I was told we were going to a famous fancy true Mongolian restaurant and the workers were true Mongolian. I said to TingTing "but YOU are true Mongolian" she said yes but reminded me of when she was joking with me when I asked if she was born in a yurt. She said "but these people actually probably were born in a yurt."

 

I was thoroughly impressed with the place, it was huge!

 

We were shown a private room where we were going to meet the rest of the family that was not there for the family grilling the other night. TingTing's grand parents were going to be there both 86 years old. This is a HUGE honor for them to come and TingTing was afraid her grandmother would not like me because I was not a local and the last guy was a total ass. I was looking at the menu when number 3 uncle offered to order and I reluctantly gave in. After a bit more thought I quickly concluded this was a good move as I was not familiar with what Chinese liked to eat and I was in China after all. TingTing and I did not actually get to eat very much as everyone including our selves were expected to make a small speech and some were very long. Even grandfather was telling us to sit and eat, enough talking. He was very funny and I like him allot, I agreed with the wisdom of what he said but I think his simple advice was lost on everyone else. Sad that everyone here stresses the importance of respect and wisdom but when it is spoken by the eldest of the group it is on deaf ears because they are thought of in a child like manner. God said "And a child shall lead them". If we only did as instructed by our elders and think about why they instruct us to do something, how much better life could be.

 

I had to, with TingTing's assistance go around the table and offer each person a glass of wine calling each person by there proper title in Mandarin. Offering and receiving the glass back with both hands. Including to the two drivers for Uncle 1 and 3, uncle 3 said he was also his bodyguard but said he was just joking and he was only a driver. He loves to make jokes a lot. When everything was done auntie and uncle 4 took a huge amount of pictures and grand father was starting to complain a bit "ugh again?" he was very funny and kept telling me to sit in the van. I wish I could have, wish I spoke the language here, I would have had a lot of fun talking to the grandfather I think.

 

After the long photo shoot we all piled in this rather small van and dropped off an auntie and paid a short visit to her house. We then went to grandfather and grandmothers apartment. It was a nice apartment and the two neighbors there had never seen a westerner before, so there was of course allot of staring. After about an hour of the women folk doing what ever they do as a group behind closed doors we left. I guess grandmother liked me a lot as she requested later another visit and that time we brought them KFC. She still asks when I am coming back for a visit weeks later. I really wish I could visit again but I can't afford it because of the high cost of the K1 visa process. I can expect to spend around 1800.00 for the entire visa process and another 2700.00 for a decent attorney.

 

Last day in Baotou:

 

The final day there we had to leave early for the train station and along the way stopped at what is referred to in the states as a hole in the wall eatery. It was the only one in the area open at the time and I just could not bring my self to eat anything in there, I felt like I needed a shower after simply sitting there. At the train station we all said our good byes and took a few more photos. The train going back was still a basic train but considerably better than the first train. As we entered our assigned area there was a guy lying in my bed under the covers and everything. Long storey short he was being a dick and I could not speak the language so with a bit of prodding and explaining to TingTing exactly what to say along with a very stern "I'm about to whoop your ass " look from me. He got up and left embarrassed and we did not see him again for the rest of the trip. He tried to take advantage and failed because I take no crap from anyone and there society is based on a concept of "Loss of Face". Since he failed and he lost face, he was too embarrassed to be in the same car as everyone he lost face in front of and left. I am generally one of the most accepting and laid back people you will ever meet in your life time, but I have no problem standing up for my self when I am being wronged. At least this trip on the train it was during the day and I got to see a good part of the country side, turns out I did not miss much the first trip. We arrived in Beijing just as the sun went down and there were entire families sleeping out side the station on the ground I assume waiting on the train or just plain stranded. There was a huge line of people waiting to get a taxi at a central location along the main road. The first taxi absolutely refused to take us and was very rude, TingTing said he did not seem mentally stable to her. We did get the very next taxi and it only took about 20 minutes to get to the hotel. It was so far the nicest hotel we stayed in yet but it was very basic by US standards and the beds were still slightly softer than a rock. Once settled in the room we went out to eat at a restaurant just down the street where we ordered this type of stew. It was presented in a hanging pot over a sterno type flame. I won't lie, I hated most of the food I tried in China and this one was no exception. In Baotou we did eat at a duck restaurant and some famous dumpling restaurant I really enjoyed. TingTing's mom and aunt 3 cooked a meal for us once to and I ate out of shear politeness. TingTing's mom made great dumplings but this meal was not to my taste. I was able to cook up some burritos with the flower tortillas I brought with me from the US. Everyone liked them or at least said they did, it's hard to tell in china if someone really likes something or not, especially family. They are so polite in there own way and never want to offend you. All you can do is ask some one later alone and on the sly if someone liked something or not. You can still expect only a 50% chance to get the truth.

 

Going Home:

 

We took a taxi and arrived a few hours early to assure my place on the plane as the flights here are routinely overbooked and you should arrive at the very least 2 hours prior to departure. There is a wide variety of food at the Beijing airport and we hit a Starbucks and a Ice Cream parlor, I was also able to take TingTing to her very first Burger King. Ok it's the little things I enjoy, it was nice to get some American food again and share a little bit of American cuisine with my fianc.

 

We walked around for the last 45 minutes and it was hard to find a place to sit. There were not many chairs in the airport and the ones that were there were being taken up by entire families camping out.

 

Once we said our good byes I got to wait another 2 hours because the flight was delayed for what ever reason. At least I was at the best airport on the planet unless you want a drinking fountain¡­

 

There is a smoking room inside the airport to with a nice little sign in true chinglish next to the ashtray "Please do not bomb in the tray" I am sure the irony of this sign in an airport is not lost on you.

 

The flight back was in coach but it was not too bad except for the little Japanese guy next to me taking up more room than any man twice his size should. His breath was so offending I slipped a Listerine strip in his mouth while he was sleeping¡­no joke.

 

I arrived back in the US and now had to go through customs, the line was HUGE and I mean like 300 people in front of me, this is no exaggeration. Sooooo we have lines for non-US citizens and US citizens. Both lines were similarly retardidly huge and there were only about 4 agents per line processing everyone. This place seriously needs more windows open, like maybe 8 more. I spent about 2 hours standing in line, of course no seating anywhere was provided¡­ahh home sweet home¡­yes this is sarcasm.

 

When I arrived back in Pensacola my baggage of course didn't, curtasey I later found out of Homeland In-Security. I guess they thought my clothes and Tea were explosives and cut my lock to search it. The same lock that said please don't cut, the key is in the small pouch on the side of the bag. So of course it was cut, so here is a big middle finger to you tards searching peoples stuff at the airports. Overall I must say China has come a long way but still has a long way to go. I doubt that will happen under a communist government or at least in the next 100 years. What I did find ironic was that China in many ways are more capitalist and free than the United States but totally scary in others, like Ten Thousand state executions a year, death for petty theft etc... The people I found for the most part are very polite, they just have a different way of doing things. Being different is not a crime, something allot of us need to learn. I loved meeting my fianc and her wonderful family and the people of China. To be a good Chinese or American you don't need to have faith in your government, just in your country. Personally I believe both our governments are totally screwed up, but the people in general are good¡­except the french LOL.

 

I finally decided I did not want to risk screwing it up so I got an attorney. The things they wanted from me to prepare were in many cases nowhere to be found on line and I would have totally botched everything.

 

As you clearly see I am not politically correct in any fashion, deal with it, I am who I am and no lemming. Well that was my trip in a nutshell, feel free to ask me anything you want. If you want to complain about any comments I made, bugger off.

 

xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com (email address removed by Lee)

Edited September 22, 2008 by shadeOgray (see edit history)

[Guest WenDylan]

I never had any problem exchanging money, but later found out that it was better not to change money or travelers checks, it saves money.

 

I bet they saw the note on your luggage about the key and not to search anything they just thought... let's show him! Haha, just kidding. I brought home almost an entire CCTV system with cameras, and like 20 electric mosquito catchers. Not to mention clothes and some Coach purses for my grandmother/mother/step-mother... and yet the only thing I was yelled at for was my watch... which I was wearing... because I couldn't prove it's value. Haha...

 

U.S. Customs is a nightmare... but at least you seem prepared... was this your first time to China?

 

By the way, I added you to the CFL timelines...

 

http://www.timelines.tk/

Edited September 19, 2008 by WenDylan (see edit history)

[shadeOgray]

Yes this was my first time there, I'd like to go back in November but I'm afraid I won't have enough cash to go back if the interview comes shortly after that. So if I go before the interview I may not make it TO the interview and would look bad but if I don't go again then it will be like "So they only met 1 time for 2 weeks? Pffffpt! denied" I have proudly served my country for 15.6 years in the Navy but I have little pocket change to show for it. Kind of funny how so much of my life can be affected by a mere 2k.

[shadeOgray]

I never had any problem exchanging money, but later found out that it was better not to change money or travelers checks, it saves money.

 

I bet they saw the note on your luggage about the key and not to search anything they just thought... let's show him! Haha, just kidding. I brought home almost an entire CCTV system with cameras, and like 20 electric mosquito catchers. Not to mention clothes and some Coach purses for my grandmother/mother/step-mother... and yet the only thing I was yelled at for was my watch... which I was wearing... because I couldn't prove it's value. Haha...

 

U.S. Customs is a nightmare... but at least you seem prepared... was this your first time to China?

 

By the way, I added you to the CFL timelines...

 

http://www.timelines.tk/

 

Thanks, I see were with in 2 days of each other, will be interesting to track our almost identical time lines.

[Guest WenDylan]

Yes this was my first time there, I'd like to go back in November but I'm afraid I won't have enough cash to go back if the interview comes shortly after that. So if I go before the interview I may not make it TO the interview and would look bad but if I don't go again then it will be like "So they only met 1 time for 2 weeks? Pffffpt! denied" I have proudly served my country for 15.6 years in the Navy but I have little pocket change to show for it. Kind of funny how so much of my life can be affected by a mere 2k.

Well, I think if you have a good solid case, you shouldn't have a problem. You have 90 days to get married, so you don't have to right? It's not like the K1 visa is a lock that you will get married even you dated for 2 weeks. I see it as maintaining a relationship, and proving that when you are together here ready to make that move and commit for life, that it is solid enough to the government. So we share a lot of things in common. I too want to go back for the interview, so even I was looking at going again in November, I might just wait, so I know I have enough money saved for "what if" scenarios. Going for the interview should help enough I think, I wouldn't worry, because as I learned from CFL and VJ, which is why I joined, to find out how many other members have done the same path. It is very common and accepted, hundreds, if not thousands, if not tens of thousands of people do just what we are doing now, no different.

 

We will have to keep our timelines together, I bet they will be pretty close. I hope your RFE issue is solved soon, I hope the advice from the other thread helps to get your case shuffling right along and on its way to the NVC and GUZ!

[lostinblue]

For anyone heading to china for the first time this is a good read .....well done. A lot of people only make one trip and have a good interview.

[tsap seui]

Nice write up on your trip, shadeOgray. I was remembering my first trip and laughin' the whole way through your story, so you won't get any rocks thrown at ya from my Earnest T. Bass self.

 

Good luck with your visa journey, it's a pretty exciting time to be alive.

 

tsap seui

[Zhen's Tiger]

This is me buggering off then...

[IllinoisDave]

Well I ain't buggering off. You posted here, you can deal with the opinions,good and bad, your post evokes. And I ain't complaining. I'm just commenting. Deal with it.

 

You were blunt so I'll be. If you show the same intolerance, whininess and aversion to change in a marriage to a Chinese woman that you did in your trip to China, you might as well forget the visa and save the poor woman the aggravation.

Edited September 19, 2008 by IllinoisDave (see edit history)

[Zhen's Tiger]

Well I ain't buggering off. You posted here, you can deal with the opinions,good and bad, your post evokes. And I ain't complaining. I'm just commenting. Deal with it.

 

You were blunt so I'll be. If you show the same intolerance, whininess and aversion to change in a marriage to a Chinese woman that you did in your trip to China, you might as well forget the visa and save the poor woman the aggravation.

Right, I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I read: "I am generally one of the most accepting and laid back people you will ever meet in your life time"...

[shushuweiwei]

Well I ain't buggering off. You posted here, you can deal with the opinions,good and bad, your post evokes. And I ain't complaining. I'm just commenting. Deal with it.

 

You were blunt so I'll be. If you show the same intolerance, whininess and aversion to change in a marriage to a Chinese woman that you did in your trip to China, you might as well forget the visa and save the poor woman the aggravation.

Right, I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I read: "I am generally one of the most accepting and laid back people you will ever meet in your life time"...

 

 

I'd chime in but I've already been chastised by Mr. Shade O Gandhi!

 

[Dennis143]

Well I ain't buggering off. You posted here, you can deal with the opinions,good and bad, your post evokes. And I ain't complaining. I'm just commenting. Deal with it.

 

You were blunt so I'll be. If you show the same intolerance, whininess and aversion to change in a marriage to a Chinese woman that you did in your trip to China, you might as well forget the visa and save the poor woman the aggravation.

I read it this morning and it's stuck in my craw all day.

 

The 'village idiots' indeed...

 

What really sticks the most how some westerners can waltz into another country with such a condescending and uppity attitude towards another's culture.

 

Instead of embracing all that is hers, he did the opposite. What happened to the fantasy trip? Nary any mention of a love story...

 

I just don't get it... Oh well, guess it's not for me to 'get'.

 

Thank you, ID. Well said, as usual.

Edited September 19, 2008 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[Guest WenDylan]

I don't get why you hired an attorney. Especially for $2700... yikes.

 

Why did you write...

 

I finally decided I did not want to risk screwing it up so I got an attorney. The things they wanted from me to prepare were in many cases nowhere to be found on line and I would have totally botched everything. So if you're thinking of doing it on your own, you're a total tard, if you really love the one you're trying to be with get an attorney.

 

I love my fiance, and we did our paperwork together and didn't hire any attorney. I don't think I'm a total tard. I think if you read enough on here you would find that any stateside attorney is just throwing your money away, or hiring an expensive secretary, that doesn't do anything but mail your paperwork for you, which you gathered anyways.

[shushuweiwei]

Well I ain't buggering off. You posted here, you can deal with the opinions,good and bad, your post evokes. And I ain't complaining. I'm just commenting. Deal with it.

 

You were blunt so I'll be. If you show the same intolerance, whininess and aversion to change in a marriage to a Chinese woman that you did in your trip to China, you might as well forget the visa and save the poor woman the aggravation.

I read it this morning and it's stuck in my craw all day.

 

The 'village idiots' indeed...

 

What really sticks the most how some westerners can waltz into another country with such a condescending and uppity attitude towards another's culture.

 

Instead of embracing all that is hers, he did the opposite. What happened to the fantasy trip? Nary any mention of a love story...

 

I just don't get it... Oh well, guess it's not for me to 'get'.

 

Thank you, ID. Well said, as usual.

 

(Sorry, I tried to restrain myself. I really did.)

 

You didn't think it was a compelling tale of the lone civilized American braving the dangers among the savages, overcoming their strange customs and poor sanitation and, through his incredibly unique American charm and ingenuity along with his threatening American scowls, bedding the barbarian princess? Why he even had to brave the mongol hordes!

 

It's a wonder he made it back alive! I was in Beijing about the same time sleeping in a soft bed with loads of hot water and a Starbucks downstairs. I feel like such a wimp!

 

I'm hoping the next installment is "When I told my fiancee that I bragged on the internet, for all the Chinese women and men with Chinese wives at CFL, how her family delivered her to my bed before they even knew me, my lovely bride said...." (speaking of face) I personally really loved how he presented it as if her family, seeing this glowing Adonis emerge from the train and offer his American blessings, were just were compelled to go against all tradition and offer their daughter in sacrifice to the (gasp) American!

 

 

Maybe Wendy or Amanda can stop by and tell us how a "Chinese girl" might react to that! That would be very interesting!!

 

(I do apologize for my use of correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation by the way.)

[FuManChu]

::bites tongue::

 

So many things I should say...but then again maybe

You can still expect only a 50% chance to get the truth

 

Good luck