China and CANDLE

[izus]

At first I was not going to write this at all, then I thought I would like to say my piece but not instantly have it shot down, then i thought maybe I¡¯ll write it in Chinese....but what good would that do?

 

I really enjoy reading CANDLE and it just bothers me that some of the members here just ruin it for a lot of the others. I have actually been threatened for posts I¡¯ve made, but that¡¯s another thread.

For one, I would really like to see more Chinese opinions on this website, because that was the idea for me originally joining the forum, to learn more about the chinese culture. I love Eunice's and Joanne's posts.

 

One of the things I am constantly being bothered about CANDLE is the amount of negativity about life in general that is present here. It embarrasses me to think that a Chinese person with no western background or influence will think that this is our typical American attitude. I find myself constantly reading about people who seem to enjoy pointing out all the problems that China has and of course all the issues that circle this country of ours. On top of that somehow even when we begin other posts about things that have nothing to do with these topics they somehow find their way back to the same trash bin. Now I¡¯m not saying CANDLE as a whole, there are some very positive members and threads here and quite a few posters who you can always expect an interesting read. I think one of the comments I read that really drew me to this subject said something like ¡°you can¡¯t handle the truth¡± of course there is going to be negativity in our lives. Out of the 90% or so of the people on CANDLE claim to have found the love of their life from China, should not they see the light through all the darkness that is in today¡¯s word. I promise that you can focus on things a lot better in the light then you can in the dark. My wife and I just decide to focus on Jesus Christ which makes it much easier for us to see the positive things in our lives and what is around us, but that¡¯s another topic I¡¯ve learned to try to stay clear of on these boards. Of course to have only negative things in your mind all day not only clogs your heart from the light but wastes your energy and also is terrible for every vital organ in your body. It seems to me there is just a better way of living than to always be looking for some sort of fight.

You would think the people who have decided to marry and accept a Chinese spouse to have different thoughts and feelings about China. You would think they would try to stay open minded and learn as much as possible about his or her family and her customs. You would think they would try to learn the language, try to see life through her eyes the way it was for her and maybe still is. Not all bad, not all good. The main reason of why I love China so much and I say it every time I return is I love the people who make up Beijing. Every time I am there I am overwhelmed with the genuine ways of the average person. I have never run into a problem with someone in Beijing everyone is always extremely friendly to me and very excited to see I try to speak with them. There are too many people in world today who don¡¯t know all the good in China and like to speak lies about it. Call it jealousy or call it whatever you want. But we are the ones who should be sticking up for our spouse¡¯s country. We are the ones who should be explaining all the positive things about the people and about how beautiful China is. The perseverance and positive thinking is what makes the Chinese one of the most unique individuals on this planet. Since we love our wives so much as we say we do let¡¯s act like it and start telling everyone how special China and the Chinese people really are. I¡¯m sure there are plenty of good things we can say rather than talk bad about the Middle Country. Candle should be the perfect canvas for just that.

 

 

ÎÒ°®Öйú ÎÒ°®ÎÒµÄÌ«Ì«

[izus]

The more I wrote this, the more I thought about how CANDLE works differently for different people. For some of us it¡¯s a place for people to talk and brag about how they love China. For others it could be used for strictly good information on the visa travels, maybe they don¡¯t have anything to be happy about to begin with, maybe CANDLE is the outlet for them to complain about life and how miserable they are. Different people have different perspective on life and I suppose CANDLE works for us all.

 

 

 

I STILL LOVE CHINA!! B)

[Dennis143]

The more I wrote this, the more I thought about how CANDLE works differently for different people. For some of us it¡¯s a place for people to talk and brag about how they love China. For others it could be used for strictly good information on the visa travels, maybe they don¡¯t have anything to be happy about to begin with, maybe CANDLE is the outlet for them to complain about life and how miserable they are. Different people have different perspective on life and I suppose CANDLE works for us all.

 

 

 

B) I STILL LOVE CHINA!! :P

Bill, I do not doubt for a moment that the majority here on this board have an extreme love for most all things China. I am certain that all of us are probably the best ambassadors China could ever dream of having. I would also venture to say that when confronted with biases about China all of us quickly go (or have gone) to China's defense and try to re-educate those who are ignorant!

 

On the other hand, Candle is the one place where free and open discussion about the many issues relating to China can be aired without fear of being misinterpreted.

[georgeandli]

izus, Isn't it possible to love both countries[warts and all]? I don't/can't bash China, after all that's where Lao Po is from and I intend to go back and forth. Both have good things to offer. My wife is in no great hurry to return. She has tasted the fruit of America. She talks to family and they tell her of rising prices. Same as here, but on another level.

[tonado]

China is not perfect. This country is not perfect too. Take the good as well the bad.

[izus]

izus, Isn't it possible to love both countries[warts and all]? I don't/can't bash China, after all that's where Lao Po is from and I intend to go back and forth. Both have good things to offer. My wife is in no great hurry to return. She has tasted the fruit of America. She talks to family and they tell her of rising prices. Same as here, but on another level.

 

i never said it was not possible to love both countries

i still love my country and always will.

[Guest WenDylan]

The more I wrote this, the more I thought about how CANDLE works differently for different people. For some of us it¡¯s a place for people to talk and brag about how they love China. For others it could be used for strictly good information on the visa travels, maybe they don¡¯t have anything to be happy about to begin with, maybe CANDLE is the outlet for them to complain about life and how miserable they are. Different people have different perspective on life and I suppose CANDLE works for us all.

 

 

 

I STILL LOVE CHINA!!

I think the greatest part of being with Wendy is that we share two completely different backgrounds, and we respect what each of our countries has shaped us into. We enjoy both the good and bad, of both our world's. As we unite to bring those world's together, it is never in the spirit of negativity, it is love for each other and for the things which made us who we are. Nothing is perfect, but I say that imperfection is perfection.

 

I spend a lot of time in a negative field of work, that I really enjoy a good laugh. I take a good look at some of the simplest things that surround my life, and I just enjoy every bit of it. Maybe that is why I like photography, even if others don't share my interest. Perhaps I am here to kill time, or perhaps it is my way to let lose after dealing with just the crap of a normal life.

 

I think by stepping out of my comfort zone, I am happier. When I think of what I have done to my family in this, it makes me even happier. Because I admit I am young, and what do I really know about love? What do I really know about family? Well... I know enough that these are the things that I want to surround my life with. My family has completely changed from being very conservative in their mind frame and with the soon joining of Wendy and I, they have changed from always seeing the negative, to looking at the positive.

 

To the point that they used to be the redneck American ideal, that would joke about eating dog, or the strange ways of the East. Now, if I bring up such a thing, even in normal conversation that is not a joke, they pop back at me, saying I need to be more "worldly" and "cultured" to. A complete change, or role-reversal. I think that is what I like about the CFL community, is it is the coming together of those like minds who are similar ideals. Without regard to complete negativity, even if others show it to me. I am happy with myself, my life, my world, and soon my wife!

[georgeandli]

Amen Brother izus, Amen. Bash here on CFL and you'll get the grief you deserve! Well said.

[izus]

Bill, I do not doubt for a moment that the majority here on this board have an extreme love for most all things China. I am certain that all of us are probably the best ambassadors China could ever dream of having. I would also venture to say that when confronted with biases about China all of us quickly go (or have gone) to China's defense and try to re-educate those who are ignorant!

 

On the other hand, Candle is the one place where free and open discussion about the many issues relating to China can be aired without fear of being misinterpreted.

but if they are so called "ambassadors" whats with all the negativity towards the country?

and on these boards??

[izus]

Amen Brother izus, Amen. Bash here on CFL and you'll get the grief you deserve! Well said.

thats really not what i meant....

[Dennis143]

Bill, I do not doubt for a moment that the majority here on this board have an extreme love for most all things China. I am certain that all of us are probably the best ambassadors China could ever dream of having. I would also venture to say that when confronted with biases about China all of us quickly go (or have gone) to China's defense and try to re-educate those who are ignorant!

 

On the other hand, Candle is the one place where free and open discussion about the many issues relating to China can be aired without fear of being misinterpreted.

but if they are so called "ambassadors" whats with all the negativity towards the country?

and on these boards??

Actually, I don't see it or maybe it's just slipped by me. When I think of the Candle, I certainly don't think of it as a dumping ground for China bashing. I will say this, if we were let loose, you'd be reading a lot of America bashing. You can count on that. So, maybe without the America bashing anything negative seems one-sided?

 

Personally, Candle is the one place where we can bash China, if we want. Because, we'd never be so negative outside of here.

 

Not trying to bend your view of China, Bill. But, Beijing is quite different than many other Chinese cities. And, possibly by just visiting Beijing has given you an insular view? I don't know...just a thought.

 

Another thought; all the friendly smiles and good natured welcome that us westerners receive can certainly be a bit heady and also skew ones view of how Chinese treat each other.

 

But, still, I just haven't read much negativity towards China here. So, I just don't know why the conniption?

 

Wo ai Yesu.

Edited July 25, 2008 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[izus]

 

Not trying to bend your view of China, Bill. But, Beijing is quite different than many other Chinese cities. And, possibly by just visiting Beijing has given you an insular view? I don't know...just a thought.

 

 

 

thats valid Dennis, ive been only to large citys in China.

 

next new years we'll be spending a few weeks in ChangChun. we're taking a train from BJ. should be an experience

 

i try to get my wifes opinion on alot situations. see her ideas about this or that, shes traveled all around the south.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

Bill, your first post in this thread is most excellent and spoken from your heart. That's the best point of origin on planet earth!

 

[Guest Mike and Lily]

I have a little bit of a hard time dealing with people that think China is an evil country unless it remakes itself into a political image of the USA.

 

They bemoan the fact that China doesn't have freedom of the press. The criticize China for not having massive social programs to take care of everyone just like we do.

 

The vast majority of the Chinese people don't care about these things. Why should the people on CFL?

 

The Chinese people DO care about curruption and pollution. If the people on this board want to care about the Chinese people, they should focus on what the Chinese care about, not about what they think is important.

Edited July 25, 2008 by Mike and Lily (see edit history)

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

I have a little time dealing with people that think China is an evil country unless it remakes itself into a political image of the USA.

 

They bemoan the fact that China doesn't have freedom of the press. The criticize China for not having massive social programs to take care of everyone just like we do.

 

The vast majority of the Chinese people don't care about these things. Why should the people on CFL?

 

The Chinese people DO care about curruption and pollution. If the people on this board want to care about the Chinese people, they should focus on what the Chinese care about, not about what they think is important.

 

 

I'm hearing a bell with the tintinnabulations of truth.

 

The US has deservedly earned the reputation of wanting to impose its way of life on everyone living and breathing on this round ball in the universe.