Sa Jiao

[david_dawei]

I suspect it is used, at least in my girl's respect, to gently point out what they consider failure by the man to assist his girl. Maybe a way to save face for everyone, the girl who needs help and the guy who is not helping?

 

Very insightful.

 

if one studies the very long history of... children not knowing their fathers; favoring boys in birth; harems; And these existed prior to their writing on anything other than animal bones about 4,000 years ago... History can reveal a lot of present traits like mistresses.. but I won't get into it further than that.

 

The flip side of Sa Jiao (treat me and take care of me like a child) is the lady treating the man like he is a child... which is probably a more common practice today.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

My wife has never exhibited this tactic. She never ask for anything. Bothers me sometimes that she don't. Just goes to show they are all different.

 

Larry

 

It's a good point Larry. In many ways, the Chinese are not much different from the people of other countries. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some with stripes or spots, others with bells and whistles. In my opinion, trying to associate a Chinese observed behavior with an ancient scroll, is like saying modern American music comes from the Mayflower.

Edited February 25, 2013 by JiangsuExpat (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

 

My wife has never exhibited this tactic. She never ask for anything. Bothers me sometimes that she don't. Just goes to show they are all different.

 

Larry

 

It's a good point Larry. In many ways, the Chinese are not much different from the people of other countries. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some with stripes or spots, others with bells and whistles. In my opinion, trying to associate a Chinese observed behavior with an ancient scroll, is like saying modern American music comes from the Mayflower.

 

I think it depends on how any culture teaches and enforces their history.

 

Take the famous Three Character Classic written in the 12th century (ok.. not so ancient a scroll).

 

http://www.yellowbridge.com/onlinelit/sanzijing.php

 

Some students are taught to memorize the entire 1200 characters as a part of school. This is just one of hundreds of writings to shape how they might think today. Pound enough of it in a youth's brain as they grow up and you get a very good 'follower of history'... I am not sure this is such a good thing on some level, but maybe not so bad on another.

 

One hallmark of chinese history, and not necessarily a strength, is to look to the past history to know how to be today. I think it has a bit of a crutch mentality to it... but I at least observe this is occurring.

[Fu Lai]

... One hallmark of chinese history, and not necessarily a strength, is to look to the past history to know how to be today. I think it has a bit of a crutch mentality to it... but I at least observe this is occurring.

 

I do too. The culture and historic reference in China is amazingly tight for such a society. I'm not sure it can be compared to any other.

 

I see Sa Jiao as in treating and taking care of each other as kids around here. While I have seen it in other countries, in the USA particularly, it is hip deep in China. Mothers often care for their kids and husbands nearly the same way, it is funny. Husbands are reeled in by wives to reciprocate. Kids practice this early. Hilarious. If I didn't know it is an important game then I might be offended but we really just do it and laugh about it... "SA JIAO" we say to each other, giggling knowingly!

[david_dawei]

 

... One hallmark of chinese history, and not necessarily a strength, is to look to the past history to know how to be today. I think it has a bit of a crutch mentality to it... but I at least observe this is occurring.

 

I do too. The culture and historic reference in China is amazingly tight for such a society. I'm not sure it can be compared to any other.

 

I see Sa Jiao as in treating and taking care of each other as kids around here. While I have seen it in other countries, in the USA particularly, it is hip deep in China. Mothers often care for their kids and husbands nearly the same way, it is funny. Husbands are reeled in by wives to reciprocate. Kids practice this early. Hilarious. If I didn't know it is an important game then I might be offended but we really just do it and laugh about it... "SA JIAO" we say to each other, giggling knowingly!

 

IMO, one of the most important traits a USC can have is to observe what is going on... be a realist, even when one realizes it is a bit of a game from our perspective but it is rather serious business deep inside. I do think there are serious psychological issues at stake with it but this is how they keep it in check... and if the surface level is smiling and joking then maybe it will filter down into their soul...