curious

[Dennis143]

 

A language/communication problem that recurs frequently with Ying and I is that we will talk about something and I walk away thinking that all was understood and ten minutes later Ying will ask a question about the subject and, by golly, we really didn't make ourselves clear in the first place!

 

It is important to remember that everyday conversations,i.e. how are you, are you hungry?, I'm sleepy, etc. are the first thing one learns. After one learns and becomes fluent at this level, often one can make the mistake of thinking, innocently enough and with a positive attitude, that one has mastered the language. The problems generally occur when one speaks in abstract terms, tech things, medical things, business things and anything a little deeper than the daily things.

Exactly! Little things can usually be said and understood, at first.

 

Then there are things you or your SO may want to say, but are too difficult to understand. You have to decide how important is it that this point is made. Quite often you just decide that it's not that important and let it go. Otherwise, your frustration level may spike.

 

Finally, there are the important things one MUST convey. I may try the computer, yet things may be lost in translation. And, it is often only a one-way dialog, as Leiqin is not computer literate. When that doesn't work, we are fortunate to have an impartial third-party friend whom we both trust and can call on a moments notice - Mary.

 

It's worked for us just fine.

[Zachary And Lychee]

You guys ever heard of Powerword? (½ðɽ´Ê°Ô) That's what helps us communicate and teaches me chinese and her English in the process. It's a God-send.

[SinoTexas]

Sometimes my wife sticks her feet in my lap and I just go ahead and massage them. It just happens - she doesn't ask. Of course I end the massage with a tickle on the bottom of her foot.

 

Xiahong never used a translator and we always communicated person to person. She did use an electronic translator/dictionary, but it was always just between us. My first trip to meet her took a full steno pad to write to each other as her written English was much better than her verbal. We also used her hand held dictionary. The converstion was rudimentary, but understandable.

 

By my second trip, I bought a laptop and took with me. When we decided to argue, I drug it out and typed what I wanted to say. She used it to answer. What the hell, it worked.

 

Then, my fourth trip was to get the visa and bring her home. ESL and self-learning on ESL websites helped a lot, but going to work in an English speaking environment really made a big difference. Around the house, I talk with her pretty much like I would anyone else who was a native English speaker. If she doesn't understand, I rephrase it.

 

I'm not so sure we started with a common language or even have one today. But we have always found a way to communicate. And, ya, the sex was good, too.

Do you crack your pecans between Xiahong's toes as you do the foot massage?

As aye,

Jim

[SmilingAsia]

I was cursios too, and thought this kinda marriage would not last long, but now maybe I was wrong. I met a couple in my resturant, chinese lady and american guy. the lady speak hardly english and she stayed in the US almost for 3 years. She doest work, and stay at home to take care of family. I drove to her house 2 days ago, and found her house is very clean, and she was knitting in the living room and watching TV. She told me they never fight and her husband did everything for her. I believe in her. I know without her husband, she cant stay here because of her poor english. I am little jealous of her. compare to her, I have to do everything for my family, pay all bills on time and when phone or electricity or everything in my family had problem, I had to make calls to fix it. I have to work too, even though not work everyday like I did in China, but I felt the same tired sometimes, also more complaining. These days my husband was travel with his kids, I was at home alone and thought maybe I should never had learnt english before, Then I would never flight and complain to my husband. Our marriage would be happy???

 

I only got one conclusion yesterday, when american independent day was. I am a Chinese Lady with american husband, but I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN! so I called my husband and told him maybe I should stay in the US but not live with him. He said "please keep me as I am a sweet husband " Most of them yes he is, then I told him" OK, now I will keep you, but you need try to get rid your bad temper and be much sweeter". So now I still have to be his secretary, housekeeper, chef, best friend, and sexy wife!!

Paula, be happy that you can be a great help to your husband. Think it a blessing you handle the language well. We don't know how people struggled when they wanted to express something but could not due to language barrier. Someone visited his sister in the US for a couple of months and he told me he felt handicapped in the US that he didn't understand a single word of English, waiting for his sister to take him anywhere he wanted to go.

[yuan fen]

I know when I piss my wife off.

 

What else is there to know?

 

Even then I don't exactly know what she is saying.

 

 

 

Honestly,

 

Jie has a limited vocabulary in English, I'm limited in Chinese, but we talk about everything.

 

Finances, cultural differences, dreams, what we see everyday, likes/dislikes, the future, and the past. Not much different than what a husband and wife usually talk about if they speak Chinese or English.

 

It may not be decipherable by Chinese or English speaking people, but we understand it.

 

My wife says it is yuan fen.

 

I call it time, patients, and understanding.

[SmilingAsia]

My wife says it is yuan fen.

I call it time, patients, and understanding.

I believe man and woman attracts each other for a certain reason. With or without language barrier, compatibility is still very important. Some couples have endless fightings, some couples almost have nothing to fight for.

[warpedbored]

When I first started talking to my wife online we communicated through emails. She had a friend translate for her. I would call her now and then and even though she didn't understand me it was nice to hear her voice. When I got to China and met her for the first time I realized that her written English was better than her spoken. She had taken English in middle school but was very rusty. Still we managed to communicate with pocket translators and what english she knew. When I got back to the states I had her buy a web cam and we began to talk on Yahoo messenger. I would type as I spoke so she could read and hear what I said. It worked wonders. She also took some English classes but I don't think she got nearly as much out of it as she did our daily chats. By the time of my second trip her English was functional if not fluent. after she came her she enrolled in ESL classes at the community college. By that time we were rarely using the pocket translators. We talk about everything and have few probems with communication. I do have to choose my words carefully so she understands me.

 

I have said before that in a way I think those of us who married women with so so English skills communicate better than those who are completely fluent. I don't have the luxury of mumbling "yes dear" while I pretend to listen. I have to listen intently to what she says to understand her "mean" I sometimes have to reword a reply in several different ways until she gets it. We pay attention to each others every word.

[C4Racer]

We both started out looking outside of our country because we did not feel we could find what we desired locally. My wife and I started out with an interpreter. During these first stages we came to realize our needs, dreams and goals were very similar. Yes, we came from two different countries with seperate cultures and totally differing languages. We still understood, each one of us was what the other was ultimately looking for in a person. This drove us to find a common language so we could develop a meaningful and strong relationship.

 

So then we started to communicate on our own with the help of translators, both pocket versions, books and computer software. This is where we developed Linglish (Lisa's English) and Minese (Michael's Chinese). She knew only I could understand her English. I knew only she could understand my attempt at Chinese. It didn't matter to us because all that mattered is we understood each other. Because of these attempts and our patience we develop a life-long relationship.

 

I've also got to say, I agree with Carl's assessment of listening to her every word. If I don't understand, this is okay if I at least try hard, but if I fail to listen it easily becomes, "You don't care me." So like Carl and Bing, we try very hard to listen to each other's words.

Edited July 7, 2007 by C4Racer (see edit history)

[izus]

You guys ever heard of Powerword? (½ðɽ´Ê°Ô) That's what helps us communicate and teaches me chinese and her English in the process. It's a God-send.

without a doubt this software is awesome

thanks for the tip

 

http://i9.tinypic.com/4lzun35.jpg

 

hover over any word and it translates it to chinese or english, gives you the proper pronounciation, definition, and a bunch of other stuff.

thanks Zachary

[Zachary And Lychee]

You guys ever heard of Powerword? (金山词霸) That's what helps us communicate and teaches me chinese and her English in the process. It's a God-send.

without a doubt this software is awesome

thanks for the tip

 

 

hover over any word and it translates it to chinese or english, gives you the proper pronounciation, definition, and a bunch of other stuff.

thanks Zachary

 

Yep! It shows you in-depth definitions (because you may look up one word in english and get many translations each pertaining to different situations), gives the pinyin for each character showing the tone, provides sample sentences using the word, and it will pronounce the word for you! Oh it also does japanese too...

 

Edit: I almost forgot... if you have any other synthesized voices installed on your computer you can choose to use them rather than the default windows one.

Edited July 9, 2007 by Zachary And Lychee (see edit history)

[Joanne]

I would type as I spoke so she could read and hear what I said. It worked wonders.

 

The best English teacher!

[izus]

You guys ever heard of Powerword? (½ðɽ´Ê°Ô) That's what helps us communicate and teaches me chinese and her English in the process. It's a God-send.

without a doubt this software is awesome

thanks for the tip

 

 

hover over any word and it translates it to chinese or english, gives you the proper pronounciation, definition, and a bunch of other stuff.

thanks Zachary

 

Yep! It shows you in-depth definitions (because you may look up one word in english and get many translations each pertaining to different situations), gives the pinyin for each character showing the tone, provides sample sentences using the word, and it will pronounce the word for you! Oh it also does japanese too...

 

Edit: I almost forgot... if you have any other synthesized voices installed on your computer you can choose to use them rather than the default windows one.

i cant find where the pinyin is listed

[IllinoisDave]

You guys ever heard of Powerword? (金山词霸) That's what helps us communicate and teaches me chinese and her English in the process. It's a God-send.

 

That looks like a great tool.

Since I'm only semi-literate when it comes to computer related stuff, I have a few of questions.

 

1- Where is a good, safe place to download this from?

2- Is there anything I need to change on my computer to be able to use it?

3- Can my SO download it in China?

 

Thanks for any help.

Dave

[izus]

You guys ever heard of Powerword? (½ðɽ´Ê°Ô) That's what helps us communicate and teaches me chinese and her English in the process. It's a God-send.

 

That looks like a great tool.

Since I'm only semi-literate when it comes to computer related stuff, I have a few of questions.

 

1- Where is a good, safe place to download this from?

2- Is there anything I need to change on my computer to be able to use it?

3- Can my SO download it in China?

 

Thanks for any help.

Dave

i think it could actually work better for a chinese speaker learning english

http://www.iciba.com

its called Powerword

Edited July 9, 2007 by izus (see edit history)

[IllinoisDave]

i think it could actually work better for a chinese speaker learning english

http://www.iciba.com

its called Powerword

 

Thanks. So if I send my SO that link, she'll be able to download it in China?