Culture Clash already...

[SheLikesME?]

I am having the most difficult disagreement with my fiancee that I have ever had:

 

She saw me kiss my cat on the back of the neck the other night on video conference, and told me, "You kiss cat?! If you kiss your cat, you can NEVER kiss me!!"

 

I though she was joking, but we are now on day two of this.

 

She says that in China, no one kisses their pets.

 

She says in China everyone knows how dirty these animals are.

 

This is seemingly not a jealousy issue.

 

She claims it is a cultural one.

 

 

I just don't know what to do now. I wish to make her happy, but being affectionate with my pets is a deep part of who I am. I am an animal lover. I come from a family of animal lovers.

 

I even offered to always wash my face and mouth after kissing the cat and before kissing her, which is ridiculous, but I told her I was willing to do this if it would make her happy.

 

No go.

 

She still says, "You kiss cat, you never kiss me!"

 

Any ideas here people?

 

Is this a serious cultural taboo I don't know of?

 

Anyone have any experience with this situation?

DUDE!

 

Are you still there?

 

Any updates?

 

Let us know something.

[david_dawei]

That the woman is paranoid about her mate kissing these disease carriers is no small wonder.

I just love this line...

 

Reminds me of when I first meet my SO in china.. she'd pick through my hair as if looking for lice.. stick her fancy ear cleaner deep enough till it reached the other side... If your going to kiss it, give it a good bath first...

Edited June 26, 2007 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)

[TaijiMonkey]

Well, it seems to have passed.

 

We talked after she calmed down and she realizes as I do that there are going to be differences in culture and concepts.

 

I explained to her that I don't expect her to change, but I don't want her to expect me to change either. There is a difference between changing you mate, and growing with them.

 

Mostly, though, after a conversation with my own mother and a few close female friends, I now realize that the cat is not really the issue.

 

I am looking at this like a typical man.. logically.

 

Not emotionally.

 

She is getting ready to make a huge change, and she is nervous, in the middle of finals, as well as making arrangements for my visit with my mother - not to mention the stress of me and my mother having dinner with her family.

 

It seems all she really wanted was for me to make a gesture showing her that this is all worth the hassle, sort of speak.

 

And of course, as a man, I was oblivious. All I did is argue with her. Dummy.

 

We also haven't talked over the phone in a while - she prefers video chat - and I just decided to call her and surprise her with the phone call.

 

We talked for an hour or so, and she feels much better. I apologized, she apologized, we discussed some things and I could hear in her voice she was at peace again and happy. (Which is why I love her, because we always come to an agreement, and can never stay mad for long.)

 

She understands that my cats have been my only companions for a decade, and my only source of any affection (as I am single and lived alone or with a male roommate) and we agreed that I will keep me affections with the cat to a minimum, and she will accept how I treat them, as long as brush my teeth before I kiss her, which is totally fair.

 

All in all, it has been a great example for me of our love overcoming any obsticles.

 

I am leaving in a week to see here for the first time in two years, and I am EXCITED!!

 

Thanks for the comments. Sorry it took so long to update, work is killing me!

[JimandSarha]

I think its the cat.

 

 

 

If the cat is ever missing and the pork seems a bit stringy and tasted kind of tangy.......

[yuan fen]

Well, it seems to have passed.

 

We talked after she calmed down and she realizes as I do that there are going to be differences in culture and concepts.

 

I explained to her that I don't expect her to change, but I don't want her to expect me to change either. There is a difference between changing you mate, and growing with them.

 

Mostly, though, after a conversation with my own mother and a few close female friends, I now realize that the cat is not really the issue.

 

I am looking at this like a typical man.. logically.

 

Not emotionally.

 

She is getting ready to make a huge change, and she is nervous, in the middle of finals, as well as making arrangements for my visit with my mother - not to mention the stress of me and my mother having dinner with her family.

 

It seems all she really wanted was for me to make a gesture showing her that this is all worth the hassle, sort of speak.

 

And of course, as a man, I was oblivious. All I did is argue with her. Dummy.

 

We also haven't talked over the phone in a while - she prefers video chat - and I just decided to call her and surprise her with the phone call.

 

We talked for an hour or so, and she feels much better. I apologized, she apologized, we discussed some things and I could hear in her voice she was at peace again and happy. (Which is why I love her, because we always come to an agreement, and can never stay mad for long.)

 

She understands that my cats have been my only companions for a decade, and my only source of any affection (as I am single and lived alone or with a male roommate) and we agreed that I will keep me affections with the cat to a minimum, and she will accept how I treat them, as long as brush my teeth before I kiss her, which is totally fair.

 

All in all, it has been a great example for me of our love overcoming any obsticles.

 

I am leaving in a week to see here for the first time in two years, and I am EXCITED!!

 

Thanks for the comments. Sorry it took so long to update, work is killing me!

 

 

Thats cool Dude.

 

Sorta like what my wife said about the dog. Now they kiss #@% &@#

 

They are like Best buds. My wife practices English with the dog too. I don't know if she is talking to me, or the dog sometimes.

 

Or,

 

Like Don's fate. Cats in the Garage.

 

 

Hint:

 

Just brush your teeth before you kiss. Everytime, all the time.

If you do that, you ought to have nice smile anyways.

 

Take a shower before bed too. Rule 001.

 

Oh, and don't work too hard. Have a great trip. First time in two yrs? Wow.

[david_dawei]

I am looking at this like a typical man.. logically.

 

Not emotionally.

 

And of course, as a man, I was oblivious. All I did is argue with her. Dummy.

I think you said it all

[Urkidding]

 

 

And of course, as a man, I was oblivious. All I did is argue with her. Dummy.

 

 

 

Training has started!

[mchina34]

I am having the most difficult disagreement with my fiancee that I have ever had:

 

She saw me kiss my cat on the back of the neck the other night on video conference, and told me, "You kiss cat?! If you kiss your cat, you can NEVER kiss me!!"

 

I though she was joking, but we are now on day two of this.

 

She says that in China, no one kisses their pets.

 

She says in China everyone knows how dirty these animals are.

 

This is seemingly not a jealousy issue.

 

She claims it is a cultural one.

 

 

I just don't know what to do now. I wish to make her happy, but being affectionate with my pets is a deep part of who I am. I am an animal lover. I come from a family of animal lovers.

 

I even offered to always wash my face and mouth after kissing the cat and before kissing her, which is ridiculous, but I told her I was willing to do this if it would make her happy.

 

No go.

 

She still says, "You kiss cat, you never kiss me!"

 

Any ideas here people?

 

Is this a serious cultural taboo I don't know of?

 

Anyone have any experience with this situation?

 

 

Chinese think cats and dogs are dirty, like animals, which they ARE. I had two cats too, and I loved them dearly, but my wife said she wouldn't get prego if I had them, so I sold them to a dog food company that said they'd take good care of them.

 

Reall miss them....except the damn hair on my work pants(himalayans).

 

When she says that next time, before you get mad, just think how many times that cats head has been washed, or how many times it's head actually has been washed, with its saliva on its paw, the same paw that steps into the cat litter. They really are animals, man. Cute, but still animals.

[SmilingAsia]

If cats and dogs brush their teeth after meal, as we do, I would also kiss them.

 

Oh, wait, in 1970s and 1980s in the mountain areas in JiangXi, our dogs ate kid's poo. A small kid could poo anywhere then called the dog come to eat it: Economy and environmental!!!!!!

Edited July 7, 2007 by SmilingAsia (see edit history)

[chilton747]

If cats and dogs brush their teeth after meal, as we do, I would also kiss them.

A responsible pet owner will brush their pet's teeth or so I have heard

[Randy W]

 

 

Others do it themselves

[david_dawei]

If cats and dogs brush their teeth after meal, as we do, I would also kiss them.

 

Oh, wait, in 1970s and 1980s in the mountain areas in JiangXi, our dogs ate kid's poo. A small kid could poo anywhere then called the dog come to eat it: Economy and environmental!!!!!!

my wife's grandmother had an outdoor potty with a big hole which pigs wandered freely underneath the outhouse... she says they all would come running and snorting under you as you did your business... that's why my wife has nerves of steel... but I wonder what the pork tasted like

[SmilingAsia]

my wife's grandmother had an outdoor potty with a big hole which pigs wandered freely underneath the outhouse... she says they all would come running and snorting under you as you did your business... that's why my wife has nerves of steel... but I wonder what the pork tasted like

Interesting, but not a strange thing in the country. In some villages in ShunDe, Nanhai, Guangdong province, the outhouse is built on the fish pond. Everything goes to the fish pond for fish food. I'm still asked by my friend at a dinner table why I don't like fish

[chilton747]

If cats and dogs brush their teeth after meal, as we do, I would also kiss them.

 

Oh, wait, in 1970s and 1980s in the mountain areas in JiangXi, our dogs ate kid's poo. A small kid could poo anywhere then called the dog come to eat it: Economy and environmental!!!!!!

And also, in the same area, the dog will be killed, butchered and eaten. Now with this "farm raised" diet the dog has been fed, you reckon the meat will not be fit for export?

[Randy W]

If cats and dogs brush their teeth after meal, as we do, I would also kiss them.

 

Oh, wait, in 1970s and 1980s in the mountain areas in JiangXi, our dogs ate kid's poo. A small kid could poo anywhere then called the dog come to eat it: Economy and environmental!!!!!!

my wife's grandmother had an outdoor potty with a big hole which pigs wandered freely underneath the outhouse... she says they all would come running and snorting under you as you did your business... that's why my wife has nerves of steel... but I wonder what the pork tasted like

In india, the pigs are the sewage treatment system. Some hotels will give you a stick to take with you when you gotta' go to keep 'em at a distance.

Edited July 7, 2007 by Randy W (see edit history)