Sleeping With The Enemy

[Dennis143]

AMC has been showing reruns of the movie Sleeping With The Enemy for the last week. Seems they show it over and over, as every time I walk into our living room Leiqin is watching it, even though she can understand very few English words. “I really, really likea this movie.†She will tell me again and again, as if it is the first time heard her say this. I comment that her (Julia Roberts) husband is “No good.†But, she argues with me and says; “No, husband good. Boyfriend not good. Husband give good home. He good husband. I no likea boyfriend.†B) I try to explain what a terrible tyrant her husband is, but Leiqin insists that it’s a love story between Julia and her husband and that her boyfriend was no good by interfering and killing her husband. I gave up trying to explain to her why Julia wanted to shoot and kill her husband at the end of the movie. When something is stuck in my wife’s head, there is nothing I can do to change her mind. I usually leave her to her movie and just shake my head and return to CFL.

[ameriken]

I saw that movie on the menu and caught a part of it, but if it is still playing, I will get Jie's take on it.

 

I guess you can learn a lot from her comments about who she is, her culture, how she was raised. It also shows that in many parts of China, a man like that is very common and widely accepted in the culture and society, and as long as there is food on the table that he provided, he is a good man, despite the rest.

 

On the other hand, it also shows you that you have a good woman there Dennis......this speaks very highly about loyalty!

[stacato]

A perfect title for my first marriage

 

[Dennis143]

A perfect title for my first marriage

 

223041[/snapback]

So, who was the enemy in that home?

[stacato]

A perfect title for my first marriage

 

223041[/snapback]

So, who was the enemy in that home?

223045[/snapback]

It wasn't me. But hell, she's been able to be an enemy to so many people, it's not even funny. Thank god I got away in time, thank god....

 

I am not sure they allow to bash X wives here but what the heck...

 

Maybe we should start a new topic : What is wrong with the American women of today, and how did it get to be that way.

 

Ameriken.... where are you?????

[ameriken]

I am not sure they allow to bash X wives here but what the heck...

 

Maybe we should start a new topic : What is wrong with the American women of today, and how did it get to be that way.

 

Ameriken.... where are you?????

223113[/snapback]

Me? Why me?

 

I know that American-woman bashing is not preferred on CFL for the obvious road the thread will take.......

 

HOWEVER.......

 

.......there really are some valid reasons why many of the men here would not seek another American.

 

It could be a good thread if it could be kept civil.

[ameriken]

It wasn't me. But hell, she's been able to be an enemy to so many people, it's not even funny. Thank god I got away in time, thank god....

 

I am not sure they allow to bash X wives here but what the heck...

 

Maybe we should start a new topic : What is wrong with the American women of today, and how did it get to be that way.

 

Ameriken.... where are you?????

223113[/snapback]

Check this out stacato

 

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?...topic=13923&hl=

[Dan R]

interpreting a story tells a lot about a person's culture. I have found that there is often disagreement regarding the values attributed to the characters in a story.

 

In China this story is used by some teachers teaching cultural as well as individual values.

 

John and Mary decide to go out on a day cruise in a small ship shortly after getting engaged. They bring John's best friend Bob. Also on the cruise is an old man, a businessman, the captain and a sailor.

 

They go out on the sea and suddenly a storm comes up. The ship capsizes and they all get in the two life boats. John and Bob are in one with the captain. Mary, the old man, the businessman and the sailor are all in another. They get seperated and lost during the storm.

 

Luckily both life boats are picked up but by different ships. The two ships take the survivors to two harbors some miles apart. They are all given medical treatment, clothes and bed to sleep in. That evening Mary hears that John is safe and at the other harbor. She is desperate to be with him.

 

She asks the old man to help her get there. He says he is too old and can not be of help as he must take care of himself.

 

She asks the businessman if he could take her. He tells her his company will be coming to pick him up but it would be out of his way and his schedule has alrebeen disrupted.

 

So then she asks the sailor. He tells her he thought she was very pretty when she came aboard. He will help her reach John in the morning. That is if she will spend the night with him. This upsets Mary very much. She could not do such a thing. But she must get to John and doesn't even know if John knows she survived. So she does it and the next morning the sailor takes her to the harbor to join John.

 

THey have a very happy reunion. Mary wants to be completely honest with John and can not hide what happened. She tells him with tears in her eyes. John immediately pushes her away and calls off the engagement. Mary pleads but to no avail. John will not have a woman who would do that. He leaves her in tears.

 

Bob remains trying to console her. A few months later Bob and Mary are married.

 

Now on a scale of 1 through 5 rate the characters as 1 being the best and 6 the worst. (the captain is not part of this)

 

I will only tell you I agreed with most of the ranking by the class but not all. Certainly one character assessment surprised me.

 

Let's see what you come up with.

[ameriken]

interpreting a story tells a lot about a person's culture. I have found that there is often disagreement regarding the values attributed to the characters in a story.

 

In China this story is used by some teachers teaching cultural as well as individual values.

 

John and Mary decide to go out on a day cruise in a small ship shortly after getting engaged. They bring John's best friend Bob. Also on the cruise is an old man, a businessman, the captain and a sailor.

 

They go out on the sea and suddenly a storm comes up. The ship capsizes and they all get in the two life boats. John and Bob are in one with the captain. Mary, the old man, the businessman and the sailor are all in another. They get seperated and lost during the storm.

 

Luckily both life boats are picked up but by different ships.  The two ships take the survivors to two harbors some miles apart. They are all given medical treatment, clothes and bed to sleep in. That evening Mary hears that John is safe and at the other harbor. She is desperate to be with him.

 

She asks the old man to help her get there.  He says he is too old and can not be of help as he must take care of himself.

 

She asks the businessman if he could take her. He tells her his company will be coming to pick him up but it would be out of his way and his schedule has alrebeen disrupted.

 

So then she asks the sailor. He tells her he thought she was very pretty when she came aboard. He will help her reach John in the morning. That is if she will spend the night with him. This upsets Mary very much. She could not do such a thing. But she must get to John and doesn't even know if John knows she survived. So she does it and the next morning the sailor takes her to the harbor to join John.

 

THey have a very happy reunion. Mary wants to be completely honest with John and can not hide what happened. She tells him with tears in her eyes. John immediately pushes her away and calls off the engagement. Mary pleads but to no avail. John will not have a woman who would do that. He leaves her in tears.

 

Bob remains trying to console her. A few months later Bob and Mary are married.

 

Now on a scale of 1 through 5 rate the characters as 1 being the best and 6 the worst. (the captain is not part of this)

 

I will only tell you I agreed with most of the ranking by the class but not all. Certainly one character assessment surprised me.

 

Let's see what you come up with.

223146[/snapback]

Dan, this would be interesting if you could put it into the poll section...is it possible?

[Dennis143]

interpreting a story tells a lot about a person's culture. I have found that there is often disagreement regarding the values attributed to the characters in a story.

 

In China this story is used by some teachers teaching cultural as well as individual values.

 

John and Mary decide to go out on a day cruise in a small ship shortly after getting engaged. They bring John's best friend Bob. Also on the cruise is an old man, a businessman, the captain and a sailor.

 

They go out on the sea and suddenly a storm comes up. The ship capsizes and they all get in the two life boats. John and Bob are in one with the captain. Mary, the old man, the businessman and the sailor are all in another. They get seperated and lost during the storm.

 

Luckily both life boats are picked up but by different ships.  The two ships take the survivors to two harbors some miles apart. They are all given medical treatment, clothes and bed to sleep in. That evening Mary hears that John is safe and at the other harbor. She is desperate to be with him.

 

She asks the old man to help her get there.  He says he is too old and can not be of help as he must take care of himself.

 

She asks the businessman if he could take her. He tells her his company will be coming to pick him up but it would be out of his way and his schedule has alrebeen disrupted.

 

So then she asks the sailor. He tells her he thought she was very pretty when she came aboard. He will help her reach John in the morning. That is if she will spend the night with him. This upsets Mary very much. She could not do such a thing. But she must get to John and doesn't even know if John knows she survived. So she does it and the next morning the sailor takes her to the harbor to join John.

 

THey have a very happy reunion. Mary wants to be completely honest with John and can not hide what happened. She tells him with tears in her eyes. John immediately pushes her away and calls off the engagement. Mary pleads but to no avail. John will not have a woman who would do that. He leaves her in tears.

 

Bob remains trying to console her. A few months later Bob and Mary are married.

 

Now on a scale of 1 through 5 rate the characters as 1 being the best and 6 the worst. (the captain is not part of this)

 

I will only tell you I agreed with most of the ranking by the class but not all. Certainly one character assessment surprised me.

 

Let's see what you come up with.

223146[/snapback]

hmm, a very philosophical tale, Dan. Sounds like real life. But, you cannot leave me hangin' like this. At least, tell us the moral to this quixotic story.

 

By rating each character, from worse to best, I suppose we are rating their moral character? This would become a very lengthy thread to try to post an analysis of each character, based on the very limited knowledge that we have of each.

 

This debate that could be endless, as each of us have our own moral compass.

 

I would have to say that her method of being reunited with her husband was very immoral, regardless of her intention or reason for it; however, it was even more immoral to tell her husband about her indescretion to be with him. In the end, this only hurt her husband. Yet, her husband's abandonment also showed, in the end, he was too weak and his love for her was only conditional.

 

And, by who's morals is your interpretation based?

[Dan R]

It is by your own morals or judgement of the individuals. In China the majority of the classes caome up with a certain rating order. I don't want to reveal it because that may bias other responses.

[SheLikesME?]

Dennis on your story I see what you mean. I know the movie and can not watch it again as I hate the husband character and her putting up with it. Didn't he threaten her in the story? I cannot recall how he was killed or why exactly. However maybe it does teach us something that ameriken and you are eluding to. We certainly have good wives now and a responsibility to treat them well. Gee don't convince her to be spoiled now...

[Guest pushbrk]

interpreting a story tells a lot about a person's culture. I have found that there is often disagreement regarding the values attributed to the characters in a story.

 

In China this story is used by some teachers teaching cultural as well as individual values.

 

John and Mary decide to go out on a day cruise in a small ship shortly after getting engaged. They bring John's best friend Bob. Also on the cruise is an old man, a businessman, the captain and a sailor.

 

They go out on the sea and suddenly a storm comes up. The ship capsizes and they all get in the two life boats. John and Bob are in one with the captain. Mary, the old man, the businessman and the sailor are all in another. They get seperated and lost during the storm.

 

Luckily both life boats are picked up but by different ships.  The two ships take the survivors to two harbors some miles apart. They are all given medical treatment, clothes and bed to sleep in. That evening Mary hears that John is safe and at the other harbor. She is desperate to be with him.

 

She asks the old man to help her get there.  He says he is too old and can not be of help as he must take care of himself.

 

She asks the businessman if he could take her. He tells her his company will be coming to pick him up but it would be out of his way and his schedule has alrebeen disrupted.

 

So then she asks the sailor. He tells her he thought she was very pretty when she came aboard. He will help her reach John in the morning. That is if she will spend the night with him. This upsets Mary very much. She could not do such a thing. But she must get to John and doesn't even know if John knows she survived. So she does it and the next morning the sailor takes her to the harbor to join John.

 

THey have a very happy reunion. Mary wants to be completely honest with John and can not hide what happened. She tells him with tears in her eyes. John immediately pushes her away and calls off the engagement. Mary pleads but to no avail. John will not have a woman who would do that. He leaves her in tears.

 

Bob remains trying to console her. A few months later Bob and Mary are married.

 

Now on a scale of 1 through 5 rate the characters as 1 being the best and 6 the worst. (the captain is not part of this)

 

I will only tell you I agreed with most of the ranking by the class but not all. Certainly one character assessment surprised me.

 

Let's see what you come up with.

223146[/snapback]

From most to least immoral behavior exibited in this instance.

 

Sailor, Mary, John, business man, old man, Bob.

[SheLikesME?]

Yea that is about what I thought on ranking.

 

Oh, yes: And she did the right thing in telling him. It would really be a false thing to marry the man and not tell him first. Of course if she was so motivated to tell him, why did she not find another way?

[Guest pushbrk]

Yea that is about what I thought on ranking.

 

Oh, yes:  And she did the right thing in telling him.  It would really be a false thing to marry the man and not tell him first.  Of course if she was so motivated to tell him, why did she not find another way?

223848[/snapback]

The reason she stopped short of either finding another way or simply waiting was a matter of her own moral values. Life and the accomanying choices get complicated. How we make those choices tells a lot about our character.

 

The danger in publicly declaring our own ranking is that we publicly display our own moral values. I'm not afraid to do that but they are my moral values. I recognize and respect the values of others. I don't expect others to live up to my values but lose respect for those who don't live by their own.

Edited June 13, 2006 by pushbrk (see edit history)