My letter to Consular Affairs

[Emery]

Thanks for writing the letter, AZ. I will forward a copy to my congressman's aide, who has been trying to help my case. It will give him an idea of how bad things have become.

 

BTW, I think you mean "beseech," not "besiege."

 

-Emery

[AZwolfman]

Thanks for writing the letter, AZ. I will forward a copy to my congressman's aide, who has been trying to help my case. It will give him an idea of how bad things have become.

 

BTW, I think you mean "beseech," not "besiege."  B)

 

-Emery

Quite right, I meant beseech (to implore), but then I guess I also to besiege (what U.S. is doing to Saddam) would get the job done. I better change this, thanks.

[Tom & Jen]

I think the second letter is great, personal yet firm. Good luck! Hope to hear good news from you soon! Remember you still need to invite me over for some home cooked Chinese food when your fiancee gets here.

[AZwolfman]

Remember you still need to invite me over for some home cooked Chinese food when your fiancee gets here.

No problem, I'll bring her to AZ and invite you both over to Mom's house for some Chinese dinner.

[ChrisD]

AZ.....I understand your frustration because I was one of the July 2002 group...before the August Blackhole Group. I saw your letter to CA...the time you took to write the letter and edit the letter you could have done something else instead. I know you will probably go off and get angry at me for this advice. AZ...I had 15 years experience with working in US Government and 5 years at the US Embassy in Asia...I cannot tell you exactly which embassy......you will have to trust me on this. My wife finally picked-up her K3 visa and her daughter's K4 visa on March 10, 2003 at Guangzhou.....surprise, first time I am breaking this news to Candle now. I have not seen my wife and daughter since Oct. 2001 because not being able to get time away from my job........I was the guy who met my wife in Saudia Arabia, and I had to fight against an Arab lawyer, and then CA, GUZ, INS...........if you want to talk about frustration I was there deep in it.

AZ, my advice is stop fighting and faxing letters....the government has a "short memory" and letters, emails, and faxes are "Not even looked at" !! AZ....you have to make telephone calls to DOS and GUZ and make amends with these people......if they detect any anger they will hang-up the telephone quickly. Try being more diplomatic ....you have to swallow your frustration, anger, get down to talking with all the groups involved.

I know you have made millions of telephone calls before.....but believe me your Senator, Congressman, DOS, don't care. They all know that the visa game is a game !! You are going to have play their game ....like it or not !!

But, as low as this seems...you are going to have to make friends with the people that are making the decisions, and talk with them. Personally, I never waited when they told me to call back in 1 week...I would split the time and I would call them back in 3 days. Talk to them in a non-threatening way and be calm. AZ....you will get the visa's, I understand that the mis-direction and incorrect information is driving you crazy.

I worked in the environment of misdirection and deception with the US Government for years....it made me crazy also, now I work in the private field. AZ....You have the power to make things happen, but you have to "FOCUS YOUR ENERGY" on people by talking with them business like, not letters and faxes.

 

AZ...there is hope

 

Take Care

 

To all on Candle.....My wife and her daughter have the visa's in hand. I am not giving anymore information because I think enough has been shared with the group, and now all I am asking is privacy to protect my family. I am not giving their names or dates...sorry !! I wish I could share pictures of ourselves to everyone on Candle and celebrate....but my celebration has been by myself and my wife/daughter. Owen ,Mick, AZ, Anna, PJ, and everyone on Candle .....THANKYOU !!!

I have to get my home ready for my family to arrive from China. Strange enough....I have spent so much time and energy on getting the visa , that now I am wondering what I am going to do with my time now...I feel lost.

My family will be in the USA in 2-3 weeks now.

 

The Candle Still Burns Bright...Thanks PJ

 

ChrisD

[ChrisD]

AZ.........to sum up my long posting I had made earlier......JUST KEEP YOUR COOL !!! Angry letters just make the situation worst because people will avoid you because your anger shows in the letters you write. Hey, remember the INS story about them shreading documents to avoid the massive backlogs in Calafornia. That letter you wrote to CA is going into that shreader quickly and forgotten.

 

I have a feeling your EMS is coming soon !!

Talk with them on the telephone

 

Take care.....Sincerely I will say a prayer for you and your family.

 

ChrisD

 

PJ....get off the computer and find your soul mate. Before there were computers and chat rooms people just met the old fashion way. I think

the art of basic conversation with people has been lost.

PJ...stop briefly creating computer code and go out and find another women that truely will love and care for you again. I don't mean to sound harsh......I just know when I had been hurt in the past ,I put my concentration into work....and months later I should have kicked myself for not going up to another woman and just trying to have a conversation.

PJ....you are a person.....not a working computer, your heart was not assembled by machine code, but flesh and blood. Make your family and yourself happy again.....It is only you that can make you happy again. Don't worry about "it might happen again ".........Just believe !!

[Calvin]

I agree with you, ChrisD, on the Fax. However, I feel that if enough people voice their concern, DOS/CA will notice it, whether by fax, email, or letter. But he quickest and most effective way is to talk dirrectly with CA. I have tried emails, faxes, letters and what I got back were formed letters or they can't do anything for my case. But I have not had any serious problem getting CA to talk to me. And as you said, being calm and polite with them will open the door for us. I think that is what I have with A.S. He even apologized that "they" are taking too long on my case.

[AZwolfman]

ChrisD,

 

Does this letter really sound angry to you? Don't you realize than I have talked by phone and fax? I have also found the people I talked to quite polite and seemingly concerned - A.S. in particular. Do you think these people would have been so if I had not been just as polite? I just have no definite results yet.

 

You are one of the lucky ones, that's all. Are you really trying to help by finally sharing after all this time- or are you just gloating over your own success, now that your ordeal is over?

 

And your advice to P.J. seems to demonstrate an equal lack of experience, information, and understanding on your part. For God's sake! It has only been a few weeks since his dreams were shattered, and you want him to dive in again without taking the proper time to reflect, learn from the experience, and heal? He is not just sitting around moping. Rather, he is occupying his time by constructively getting on with his life. He has already realized that eventually he will find his soulmate. Why do you want him to hurry? He is still quite young and has no need to rush.

 

P.J. enjoys creating computer code. Why do you want him to stop something he enjoys, makes him happy, and has purpose? It is common to meet someone with similar interests when you are engaged in an activity you enjoy. ChrisD, your advice to P.J. seems to indicate that you have either not had such an experience or else you learned nothing from it. What makes you think he is worrying about "it might happen again "...?

 

A word about online dating: What does it matter HOW a couple meets? I have met women through many different methods. If I knew then what I know now, I would have looked earnestly online years ago for a mate. Because of the internet personaly, it is possible to meet someone that you would probably never had met locally. If you have the time, read Number 3 and 4 in MY POST IN THE C&L section.

 

Finally, ChrisD, I am not angry with you for speaking . I just feel that you have made your statements based more on assumptions, rather than on knowledge and understanding. You seem like the person who knows nothing about a conversation and then jumps into the middle to put in his 2 cents worth - just my impression.

 

Moderators: I think I have backed up all my statements here, but. . . If you think that in this post I have 'blown my cool' and am flaming another member, then by all means delete it.

[Calvin]

Azwolfman,

 

You have the right to vent your feelings. I knew that was going to happen when I read ChrisD's entry, especially with the advices to PJ. I too, developed my relationship with my fiancee over the internet and phone months before I even met her face-to face. I see nothing wrong with it.

 

Suggestions or opinions are ok (sometimes), but definitely not advices when unsolicited or when one is under stressful/painful situation.

[Eric&Yuhui]

You beat me to it AZ.... Exactly my feeling. I feel the "advice" in question was ,well, a bit patronizing.

And I don't think your response is flaming in any way, shape, colors or otherwise.

[carhil24]

1. "I saw your letter to CA...the time you took to write the letter and edit the letter you could have done something else instead."

 

Someone once taught me, that if you are going to criticize, then you need to offer an alternative afterwards...so, your suggestion is???

 

2. "I know you will probably go off and get angry at me for this advice."

 

How do you "know" this? A little presumptuous don't you think???

 

3. "you will have to trust me on this"

 

Will he now???

 

4. "and letters, emails, and faxes are "Not even looked at""

 

Is that true now? How do you explain the countless letters and emails that a lot of us have received back from "these people"? Although a lot are form letters or cut and paste, obviously our letters and emails are not only "looked at", but read and responded to as well. Sometimes we may not always like the responses, but they still come.

 

5. "make amends with these people"

 

Spoken like a true government worker who has never learned exactly whom it is he or she is working for. If anything, I think these people should be making amends and apologizing to us, not the other way around.

 

6. "if they detect any anger they will hang-up the telephone quickly"

 

If that statement is true, and possibly sometimes it is, does that mean that we should give up and not hold them accountable for this? If any of us would hang up on the person(s) we worked for when we detected that they were a little angry with us, we would all find our butts in the unemployment line. Although I do not feel we have the right to curse or resort to profanity when we are speaking with anyone, we do have the right to be angry at someone who is not doing the job we as tax payers pay them to do, especially if they have a "I don't give a s..t attitude.

 

7. "but believe me your Senator, Congressman, DOS, don't care."

 

Again, another highly presumptuous statement. I am sure that there are some people in our government who don't care about anyone but themselves, but then there are people like that everywhere in the world and in every occupation. I tend to believe that most of the people I have come in contact with during this ordeal, are concerned about this issue, but not to the extent that we all are. Remember, to us it is personal, to them it is work. We can't expect them to see our point of view, nor should we expect them to care about us individually. But we can expect them to do the jobs that they were appointed or hired to do. No more and no less.

 

8. "To all on Candle.....My wife and her daughter have the visa's in hand. I am not giving anymore information because I think enough has been shared with the group, and now all I am asking is privacy to protect my family. I am not giving their names or dates...sorry !! I wish I could share pictures of ourselves to everyone on Candle and celebrate....but my celebration has been by myself and my wife/daughter. Owen ,Mick, AZ, Anna, PJ, and everyone on Candle .....THANKYOU !!!

 

So, let me get this straight. You received all of the good things from this website, such as the feeling of excitement and joy we all have when just one of us shares with the rest of us even one small piece of good news. Or the feeling of support and solidarity as we realize that we are not alone in this quest. Or the feeling of confidence and hope as we read the posts of those of us like yourself who have successfully completed this process. And now, instead of sharing with the rest of us your joy and happiness at finally reaching your goal, so that all of us can enjoy this victory with you, you instead are sneaking away under the guise of privacy. I think that if you really wanted to be so private with your thoughts and feelings, you could have PM'd AZ Wolf instead of posting for all to see. Just out of curiousity, how did that post benefit the rest of us on this website, and why exactly did you post it?

 

9. "PJ....get off the computer and find your soul mate. Before there were computers and chat rooms people just met the old fashion way.

 

What do you mean by "old-fashioned"? Are you speaking of meeting people in school, church, grocery stores, places of employment, public places, etc, etc? News flash: People still meet that way, and will continue to do so for as long as men and women are attracted to one another. Or are you speaking of a long time before that when meetings and engagements and marriages were arranged by two families, and oftentimes the two people never even met or spoke with each other prior to their wedding day? Cultures and rituals gradually change over time, and now meeting people on the internet is a popular, and very safe way to do so. I accidentally met my fiancee on the internet one day, a day that I will never forget, and we spent the next 8 months emailing each other almost every day. Because of the distance between us, we could not see each other, we could not hold each other, we could not touch each other, and nothing physical could ever occur. But do you know that because of that, all we could do was learn about each other. Our likes, our dislikes, our families, our cultures, our beliefs, our values, our goals for the future, and our mistakes of the past. And when we finally were able to meet in person some 8 months later, we both felt as if we were once again seeing someone we had known for our entire lives, but hadn't seen for quite awhile. It wasn't awkward nor embarassing, it was totally normal and comfortable! And the love that we had developed over the internet and phone during that time seemed so natural and perfect!!! Before you go and dismiss the possibility of someone meeting their soul mate on the internet, I think you should talk to the thousands of couples who have done so and are now living happily ever after! PJ will find his soul mate one day, be it on the computer, at the grocery store, at work, or wherever, and when he does, only he and his soul mate will know it for sure.

 

Chris, I wish you luck in your future with your bride and your daughter, and I can only hope that you one day will realize that none of us want to invade your privacy or cause you or yours any discomfort, we only wish to celebrate your accomplishment with you, thereby not only making you feel better, but us as well! Good luck to you, and maybe someday we can all meet and reminisce about these times.

 

Carl

[Kaige]

The last letter is good, send it, I personally don't care what excuses our govt. has, they do need to provide us with information on all our cases. and if there are any problems we need to know how to fix them, our govt. needs a lot of repair, with there errors. I give uncle sam one eye ball for the day.

[ChrisD]

GUYS.....man you are reading into every word I put on this board. You have every right to be angry with the government and all the departments....I am angry too; but do you really believe that you can make them accountable for their actions giving us extreme stress, financial agony.....do you think a lawyer will go up against the government ??

PJ sorry for the comments I said. My privacy is important....that is why I don't give names and dates, photos....it is my business. I expressed my opinion and everyone wants to run me into the ground with logical drawn out debates....lighten up. We live in America...whether you do not agree with what I have said is rightfully your opinion...and I am not going to rebut your view. What worked for me will not necessarily work for someone else. You guys are definitely stress-out by the whole situation....I was too. What I meant "about being a freind" is .....more energy is spent fighting the system, instead of learning to work within an unfair and broken system to your advantage. I never said directly in my postings that meeting on the internet was a problem....I think it is great, I said "the art of conversation is lost"....meaning.....we live in a very "push botton world" where our thoughts and opinions are constantly being scrutinized, examined, and written in emails and letters for everyone to see....... but we have lost our privacy. I met my wife the first time in person...it was nice to step away from the computer emails and just hear her voice in a "face to face" conversation....this is all I am saying as "art of conversation". I think everyone read too deeply into my words on the posting. I think everyone deserves an apology from the government for the stress it has caused on our families...but I don't believe we will ever get that from them.

 

I never meant to cause a long debate to happen on candle. I am a US. Citizen, I am ex-military, I am a tax payer........but I always knew that I was just another GUZ- number in the system waiting with all the other thousands of people out there. It never mattered that I gave my time and life for the good old USA.....Uncle Sam knew that I was just a number and he would never lift his hand to help me.....I was just a number.

 

Guys,

I am sorry for my words

 

ChrisD

[AZwolfman]

ChrisD,

 

APOLOGY ACCEPTED. Forgiveness is in the asking. Now to paraphrase Rodney King, 'Guys can't we all now just get back to task?' I started this thread to hopefully incite those who are still waiting to contact the Consular Affairs office - and to let those waiting know that they are not alone.

[Emery]

Hi guys. I've never contacted Consular Affairs before. I've just called the DOS namecheck hotline (202-663-1225  ext.1,6), is there another phone number for Consular Affairs? How do I contact them? Do they have different information than the DOS namecheck hotlline?

 

Thanks.

 

-Emery, a.k.a. Nancy's main squeeze

 

http://www.havanastreet.com/china