A Generation Who Lacks Tolerance and Mercy

[SmilingAsia]

When my father was 12 years old, it was 1949 when Chinese Communists came into power. My father witnessed Tu Gai (Land Reformation) and Cultural Revolution: people got tortured and killed like animals. Human life was trashed like ants.

I have noticed my father doesn't have the tolerance I have or the mercy my daughter has.

 

The way my father talked about his father-in-law disturbed me. My grandpa is 87 years old and each year he stays 4 months with each of his three sons. Cuz one of his sons has business in other city so my grandpa wants to stay 4 months each year with my parents - my father doesn't like it though the farm house is big enough. When he talked about my grandpa, I could not see any affection or love, but full of complaints.

 

My grand auntie was in paralysis and she missed my father's visiting cuz my father is the only relative of her maiden home. My father didn't visit her cuz he said his aunt didn't visit his grandma before his grandma died. My father still remebers the resent before 1949!

 

Resent and hatred may ruin a person's emotional life. A religion may help but everything religion was crashed during the Cultural Revolution.

 

Yeah, it's seems something reverse, a daughter is trying to teach her father about tolerance and mercy. I don't discuss it too much with my father, to avoid arguement. I'm trying to influence him with behaviour.

God bless China.

[LeeFisher3]

It's sad that families will have division that lasts for years, many times they have long ago forgotten what caused the difficulty, but the division remains and often grows to be larger as tims passes.

 

This is not something unique to China, it has more to do with families and it is sad that these things can not be overcome.

 

I wish you luck in helping your father to understand.

[Dennis143]

Yes Eunice, Lee is correct. Fueds and grudges between family members are not unique to just China.

 

I can only imagine how the hardships of Tu Gai (Land Reformation) and Cultural Revolution may have pitted family against family, in order to survive. It's quite possible that you will never know the truth to what eats away at your father. Nevertheless, I hope that through you, you can help ease his pain.

[Randy W]

Sometimes there are predjudices and beliefs which only disappear with the generations. If they are allowed to.

[Yuanyang]

Sometimes there are predjudices and beliefs which only disappear with the generations. If they are allowed to.

213826[/snapback]

That's right. It is up to each of us what we choose to carry forward and what we leave behind.

[SmilingAsia]

My parents have 6 children: 4 in mid China and 2 in south China. My siblings and I never fight since we grew up. We know how to care for each other. I believe my generation is more generous, tolerant than the generation of my father.

 

I always think Land Reformation and Cultural Revolution ruined my father, physicallly and spiritually. He tends to have more negative thinking. I'm trying to be patient, generous and kind with him to influence his attitude to my grandpa.