david_dawei Posted February 12, 2006 Report Share Posted February 12, 2006 I've been there... early in our relationship, we lost communicate off and on for various reasons, each time I internally questioned what was going on... she had no computer, could not speak english, and actually went to another city as it turns out ! The only point I want to make is that you need to step back and take a breath and not allow your mind to wander with all sorts of thoughts. You'll have to just wait and see what's up when you next talk, and explain your confusion over the lapse in communication... Once I found out that my SO held none of the mentally issues or thoughts that I was having, I realized I was not staying in emotional sync with her. I made a determination to simply trust her at her word (when I got it till the next time I got anything different), even in the absense of any communication or other lapse... and we eventually got to a better point, but not without her quitting her job and getting her a computer... Each couple figures out what it takes to make it through this process... Best to you and hoping you can communicate soon... Link to comment
Guest ShaQuaNew Posted February 12, 2006 Report Share Posted February 12, 2006 RLS, are you still out there? Link to comment
RLS Posted February 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 RLS, are you still out there?190574[/snapback]I want to thank David (above) and yes, I'm still here. I hope I get something from her later tonight or in the morning. Every morning, when I go to work, the first thing I do is check my email. I am going to get a phone card like most everyone suggested. We won't be able to understand each other, but, she does know what "I love you" means. Thanks from Ron Link to comment
Guest ShaQuaNew Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 RLS, are you still out there?190574[/snapback]I want to thank David (above) and yes, I'm still here. I hope I get something from her later tonight or in the morning. Every morning, when I go to work, the first thing I do is check my email. I am going to get a phone card like most everyone suggested. We won't be able to understand each other, but, she does know what "I love you" means. Thanks from Ron190576[/snapback]Perhaps soon you will also learn what I love you means.... Link to comment
IluvmyLi Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 I sent text messages all the time to my SO with my cell phone. Just input the same number you use to call her. But it is expensive for both sender and receiver. Link to comment
IluvmyLi Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 I agree. Buy her a computer that way she can practice her english writing to you. Link to comment
Guest pushbrk Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 I sent text messages all the time to my SO with my cell phone. Just input the same number you use to call her. But it is expensive for both sender and receiver.190580[/snapback]I guess that depends on what it costs and what you call expensive. It costs me a dime a message. I have no idea what it costs on the other end. What does it cost you? Link to comment
IluvmyLi Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 (edited) I sent text messages all the time to my SO with my cell phone.?Just input the same number you use to call her.?But it is expensive for both sender and receiver.190580[/snapback]I guess that depends on what it costs and what you call expensive. It costs me a dime a message. I have no idea what it costs on the other end. What does it cost you?190586[/snapback].20 to send and .10 receive international through cingular. I was told by my SO's cousin that it's also expensive for her to receive my text. She never told me how much though. I send her money often so i'm not really concerned. Not really "expensive" but it does add up. Edited February 13, 2006 by IluvmyLi (see edit history) Link to comment
Dennis143 Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 (edited) I hate the throw cold water on everyones warm words of encouragement to RLS, but I must. For those of you who don't know my story, I waited for nine months last year. I was told to "just believe." Even during those long periods without contact, I continued to awake every morning to see if there was word from her. I continued to phone her, just to hear her voice even if all I could say was "I love you." I continued to just live and try to believe on blind faith alone. In the end, my fears were founded. The long wait and time apart caused her to eventually have cold feet. It was just too much for her to give up her future and position in the financial world on an unknown future with me. It's a gamble. The gamble doesn't always pay off. The bottom line is communication, constant communication. Communication is the bond that ties these unions together. And, without constant communication, these bonds can sometimes be easily untied. Edited February 13, 2006 by Dennis143 (see edit history) Link to comment
david_dawei Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 I sent text messages all the time to my SO with my cell phone. Just input the same number you use to call her. But it is expensive for both sender and receiver.190580[/snapback]My SOs mobile phone would not receive text messages from the US.. another small issue you need to figure out... Link to comment
shaffja Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 I sent text messages all the time to my SO with my cell phone. Just input the same number you use to call her. But it is expensive for both sender and receiver.190580[/snapback]My SOs mobile phone would not receive text messages from the US.. another small issue you need to figure out...190617[/snapback]What cellular provider do you use? What cellular provider does she use? Link to comment
RLS Posted February 13, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 Success! Finally! I got the phone card, and, after dialing a few thousand numbers, I got my SO on the phone. She was happy. We exchanged a few words that we know. I won't mention them here. She laughed and I laughed and somehow it all worked. We both said I love you quite a few times. It felt so good to hear her voice. Thanks everyone - Ron Link to comment
david_dawei Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 I hate the throw cold water on everyones warm words of encouragement to RLS, but I must. For those of you who don't know my story, I waited for nine months last year. I was told to "just believe." Even during those long periods without contact, I continued to awake every morning to see if there was word from her. I continued to phone her, just to hear her voice even if all I could say was "I love you." I continued to just live and try to believe on blind faith alone. In the end, my fears were founded. The long wait and time apart caused her to eventually have cold feet. It was just too much for her to give up her future and position in the financial world on an unknown future with me. It's a gamble. The gamble doesn't always pay off. The bottom line is communication, constant communication. Communication is the bond that ties these unions together. And, without constant communication, these bonds can be easily untied.190610[/snapback]if you sleep in a bed, you need to participate in making it as well... If you don't know the woman whom you just asked to go through a year visa process enough, then it's time to do something to know her better. Dennis, what did you do to safeguard yourself? I recall reading your 'love story' and the credulity you appeared to be in... sorry... I'm going to say this in as gentle a manner as I know how: If you think they [Chinese nationals who probably meet you online] are doing this for "love's sake", then you'd better wake up to more than just "where is she"... Do whatever it takes to understand her and know her and support her towards getting here... Link to comment
shaffja Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 Success! Finally! I got the phone card, and, after dialing a few thousand numbers, I got my SO on the phone. She was happy. We exchanged a few words that we know. I won't mention them here. She laughed and I laughed and somehow it all worked. We both said I love you quite a few times. It felt so good to hear her voice. Thanks everyone - Ron190622[/snapback]That's great! Link to comment
jemmyell Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 Success! Finally! I got the phone card, and, after dialing a few thousand numbers, I got my SO on the phone. She was happy. We exchanged a few words that we know. I won't mention them here. She laughed and I laughed and somehow it all worked. We both said I love you quite a few times. It felt so good to hear her voice. Thanks everyone - Ron190622[/snapback]Hi Ron, Good news! I do know how you feel, Loving Candle has not logged on yet today. I know that she has a meeting at work on Mondays and she IS a manager but still... And yes it is the festival of the lanterns today too, but I miss my baby too! -James Link to comment
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