Parenting

[Joanne]

After arrived my new city in US, we live in an apartment with no washer and dryer. We do laundry in a neighborhood laundromat. I don't feel comfortable sharing wash machine with people of unknown background (healthwise), so I wash our underwear and most of our daughter's clothing by hand at home.

 

Today I was just doing that and thinking, it is good that I did this handwashing when I was young. I am wondering whether those young people know how to handle a situation like this. Then, I continue to think, should I maintain a less desirable living condition for my daughter's sake (even after our financial situation turn better), so that she grow up becoming more capable of handling tough situations?

 

This story does not really match my own topic. I am just hoping to continue the topic later on.

[jim_julian]

Joanne, in my mind there is a difference in maintaining less desireable living conditions and teaching your children that they must contribute effort for the common good of the family and earn any special favors.

 

I think you might be able to accomplish your goal by structuring your daughter's life so she has regular tasks that she helps mama and others in the family with. If she wants something special she must earn it. In her school years during summer vacation she should do volunteer work to help others. During the school year a major part of her "job" should be putting in the work required to get very good grades but she should also have some of those tasks to help the family.

 

Just some thoughts ...

Edited February 11, 2006 by jim_julian (see edit history)

[Bessie]

Hi Joanne, you gotta be carefurl of washing clothes by hand. I used to do same but stopped a couple of weeks ago, as my left thumb developed a big sore and felt like disabled after I finished some hand-washing. This thumb still hurts now.

[Trigg]

Joanne, in my mind there is a difference in maintaining less desireable living conditions and teaching your children that they must contribute effort for the common good of the family and earn any special favors.

 

I think you might be able to accomplish your goal by structuring your daughter's life so she has regular tasks that she helps mama and others in the family with.  If she wants something special she must earn it.  In her school years during summer vacation she should do volunteer work to help others.  During the school year a major part of her "job" should be putting in the work required to get very good grades but she should also have some of those tasks to help the family.

 

Just some thoughts ...

190240[/snapback]

YUP!

[Joanne]

"Say please" -

 

You probably all noticed that Americans use the word "please" a lot more than Chinese.

 

My hubby is recently trying diligently to get our 2 year and 9 months old daughter to say "please" whenever she wants help. Here is an example.

 

Friday evening, on dinner table (in a Tai restaruant), hubby give daughter a taste of something from his bowl. Daughter found it spicy hot, so start to yell (not very loudly),"it's hot, I want water"(in Chinese, she speaks Chinese with us). She almost reached her water glass when hubby pulled it away and fiecely prompted "say please".

Edited February 12, 2006 by Joanne (see edit history)

[dstarsboy]

"Say please" -

 

You probably all noticed that Americans use the word "please" a lot more than Chinese. 

 

My hubby is recently trying diligently to get our 2 year and 9 months old daughter to say "please" whenever she wants help.  Here is an example.

 

Friday evening, on dinner table (in a Tai restaruant), hubby give daughter a taste of something from his bowl.  Daughter found it spicy hot, so start to yell (not very loudly),"it's hot, I want water"(in Chinese, she speaks Chinese with us).  She almost reached her water glass when hubby pulled it away and fiecely prompted "say please".

190529[/snapback]

I also heard Americans say "sorry" more than Chinese.

[Joanne]

Chinese use actions more than words.

 

It actually sounds not very sincere if one habitually says "Thank you". I have to restrain myself from doing that too much. While my friends thought that I was too polite, my hubby thought I am not polite enough. He certainly would like to get my daughter straighten up before I ruin her . Once when my hubby was demanding a "please" from my daughter, I said to her half jokingly: "Yes, say please, in English".

[jim_julian]

Thank you, Joanne.

 

 

[Dennis143]

Chinese use actions more than words.

 

It actually sounds not very sincere if one habitually says "Thank you".  I have to restrain myself from doing that too much.  While my friends thought that I was too polite, my hubby thought I am not polite enough.  He certainly would like to get my daughter straighten up before I ruin her .  Once when my hubby was demanding a "please" from my daughter, I said to her half jokingly: "Yes, say please, in English".

190796[/snapback]

Joanne, Are you raising your daughter to be bilingual?

[Joanne]

Chinese use actions more than words.

 

It actually sounds not very sincere if one habitually says "Thank you".  I have to restrain myself from doing that too much.  While my friends thought that I was too polite, my hubby thought I am not polite enough.  He certainly would like to get my daughter straighten up before I ruin her .  Once when my hubby was demanding a "please" from my daughter, I said to her half jokingly: "Yes, say please, in English".

190796[/snapback]

Joanne, Are you raising your daughter to be bilingual?

190855[/snapback]

Yes, we almost speak exclusively in Chinese at home. Her Chinese is excellent for her age. She is now picking up English from her new nursary school. Apparentely she thought her farm animals only speak English.

[Dennis143]

Are you implying something, Joanne?

[mercator]

Chinese use actions more than words.

 

It actually sounds not very sincere if one habitually says "Thank you".  I have to restrain myself from doing that too much.  While my friends thought that I was too polite, my hubby thought I am not polite enough.  He certainly would like to get my daughter straighten up before I ruin her .  Once when my hubby was demanding a "please" from my daughter, I said to her half jokingly: "Yes, say please, in English".

190796[/snapback]

Joanne, Are you raising your daughter to be bilingual?

190855[/snapback]

Yes, we almost speak exclusively in Chinese at home. Her Chinese is excellent for her age. She is now picking up English from her new nursary school. Apparentely she thought her farm animals only speak English.

190869[/snapback]

Oh thats hilarious.

 

My wife wants children. It will be difficult (I've been 'fixed' for more than a decade), but if we have a child I think raising him/her bilingual is the only way to go. Twice the brain power I think. So long as the other side of the brain works too. Language is good, but math and such are important too.

 

My wife can speak 4 languages but she can't do arithmetic very well, where I can do complicated math in my head, but I speak English well, but German and Chinese like a farm animal. Hopefully a child will get the best of both, rather than the other way around!

[Joanne]

Are you implying something, Joanne? 

190871[/snapback]

I was not that clever. Now you mentioned it.