Another marry in China question

[mercator]

I got married in China, and had the little five minute paperwork filing and middle finger with the red ink viola. Then we had a celebratory meal with the family with much food, alcohol, and the men smoked about 2 cartons of cigs (lol).

 

When she comes here, we'll be having a reception with my family. I've even toyed with the idea of having a mock ceremony, with my brother or father as the 'preacher.' I see it either way (married here or there) as married. This would be like renewing vows, which I think would not only be a nice way to honor the other family, but also pretty darned romantic, IMHO.

[amerchin]

All you have to do there is probably have a banquet with her family and friends. They've already accepted that you've been married. Whether or not you decide to wear the traditional outfits are up to you. They probably will even accept a regular suit and tie.

 

Talk to your SO and see if she wants to have a traditional tea ceremony. All that is is that the both of you get on your knees. Her parents will be sitting down on a chair in front of you. Tea is poured and the both of you lift your arms up to serve them to her parents. While you lift your hands up with the teacup bow your head sleightly down. Use both hands. If her grandparents or other elders of the family are there you might have to serve them as well. The tea ceremony shows a sign of respect. It's usually done at the parents house on the day of the banquet. If that is not possible it is done at the restaurant in a private room or in a corner somewhere away from the crowd.

 

Bring Elvis with you for entertainment but preferbably the younger Elvis. The older Elvis will need a table all for himself.

[itwontme]

Married is married - you only do it once with the same person.

 

Why think that your marriage in the US would not be valid in China? That would mean that everyone who married on a K-1 would be nullified if the couple moved back to China? What about two US citizens going to China? Would their marriage be recognized?

 

If you want to have a ceremony, have a ceremony. Getting married in China isn't very glamorous - it's the two of you and a government official.

168792[/snapback]

How bout that..married is married..once to same person is your smart Why think that your marriage in the US would not be valid in China?

(you said)..Your answer is it went right over your head...............

Maybe you didn't take time to see only one meaning in a very simple answer, maybe you are so caught up in your own thoughts you can not see past them, maybe you are so caught up in (ur self) you have no way to see past you..What ever your little problem may be you do not go around with ur little mouth and play high and mighty with your sorry little smart $%* comments..You are not talking to some teenager with your sharp words..With what you had to say, I wonder if you have any room for your (SO) or even her parents or her siblings..Whats up with you?..Before you delete me from here feel free to write down my email..Be more than happy to discuse this more..In fact ur a big shot here...Pls delete me, I don't know how...What a joke ur comment is

[Randy W]

Gee - I didn't read it that way! Basically, you ARE married (China AND US) any ceremony or other get together is strictly up to you!

Edited November 18, 2005 by Randy W (see edit history)

[Joanne]

You have received a lot of good and valid advices about unnecessity of getting a marriage license again in China already. I will add a solid proof here:

 

My husband and I were married in WA. We lived in China for close to 8 years since then. Any time when there was a need to show marriage license, we just pulled out our US one. No problem for most cases, except some people asked why there is no photo shown on the license, but this little doubt hasn't caused any problem. Only one time we were asked that our licence should be notarized at a Chinese consulate in US. This is when we were considering getting my husband a Chinese "green card". So when we have a chance, we will get that license notarized, just in case someday we want to move back.

 

Chinese families don't care where you get your license. If you want to hold a big party, a ceremony will do.

[itwontme]

Looks like some people don't like a straight answer. Oh well.

169709[/snapback]

looks like some people are total jerks and can not see past what comes out of thier mouth...have no time to think first...to many dogs out here want to bark before they bite......what answer would that be?..a samart comment?..right...Oh well....More words from fingers on a keyboard with no effort behind them....time to think about what one says before they bite...etc...etc

[HanLi]

Looks like some people don't like a straight answer. Oh well.

169709[/snapback]

looks like some people are total jerks and can not see past what comes out of thier mouth...have no time to think first...to many dogs out here want to bark before they bite......what answer would that be?..a samart comment?..right...Oh well....More words from fingers on a keyboard with no effort behind them....time to think about what one says before they bite...etc...etc

169721[/snapback]

had a chance to look in the mirror lately...?

 

You allude to having intelligence beyond your words, is it possible that an emotional or other affiction is affecting your ability to ingest sound advice?

 

calm down, most here are trying to help.........

[itwontme]

Looks like some people don't like a straight answer. Oh well.

169709[/snapback]

looks like some people are total jerks and can not see past what comes out of thier mouth...have no time to think first...to many dogs out here want to bark before they bite......what answer would that be?..a samart comment?..right...Oh well....More words from fingers on a keyboard with no effort behind them....time to think about what one says before they bite...etc...etc

169721[/snapback]

had a chance to look in the mirror lately...?

 

You allude to having intelligence beyond your words, is it possible that an emotional or other affiction is affecting your ability to ingest sound advice?

 

calm down, most here are trying to help.........

169820[/snapback]

Sure have a mirror..Just how small is yours?...One smart comment after another..No dis-respect but I (allude) not one word..If you have a problem with smart comments or can't see them when given,then I would allude your intelligence is on a par with another..Again no dis-respect but it seems so many people here get caught up in a (government) game they to see them as a number also, and get bent on the game, losing in ones mind why we ask what we do, who we even bother to ask a simple or complicated question for. I cannot see myself in none of this, if I did guess I would need a very long look in that mirror..Ask you this..Just what was miss-understood about wanting to (honor) your (SO)'s parents anyway one can..(SO) in my thinking is my betterhalf, my best friend, so many things she is to me..Don't understand why something so simple many find very complicated..Who was it gave this person life?..Who was it gave birth to the one woman you have allways dreamed you (might) find..Next door ok, but I guess we didn't find them next door did we..She was 8,000 miles away..Some of us i guess it was luck you meet, others I do belive it was somehow meant..I did not pick my (SO) from a picture..So wrong would I be if I did this..My simple little question was only this..Nothing at all to do with a game it seems we all are caught up in, and you can't say that many do see it that way, no fault of thiers, don't again miss-understand, I know you can see that..Anyway my little woman, my (giant) is my life, I have none of these (me) thoughts, what or who am I if I did?..Said nothing more than if someone out here felt the same as me, only wanted to honor my wife and her parents in anyway I can..Asked no more than that and it went to honor right back to a game we all seem to be stuck in at the moment..She came here before I could go there, that in itself tells all don't it?..A chinese woman went through all that to come here to NC to be married?..My god you all know what that says, you all know how hard that was for her to do..Close with this..It was my parents a witness at our little wedding, Since I am the man why would I not want to do everything I can to honor hers in this way, why would I not?..I guess thats what sets us apart from 99.99% of most people out here..She went through hell to come to the USA and marry a little white guy..So what is it I allude to?...What mirror I have not seen I need to take a deep look in?...There isn't one

[itwontme]

All you have to do there is probably have a banquet with her family and friends. They've already accepted that you've been married. Whether or not you decide to wear the traditional outfits are up to you. They probably will even accept a regular suit and tie.

 

Talk to your SO and see if she wants to have a traditional tea ceremony. All that is is that the both of you get on your knees. Her parents will be sitting down on a chair in front of you. Tea is poured and the both of you lift your arms up to serve them to her parents. While you lift your hands up with the teacup bow your head sleightly down. Use both hands. If her grandparents or other elders of the family are there you might have to serve them as well. The tea ceremony shows a sign of respect. It's usually done at the parents house on the day of the banquet. If that is not possible it is done at the restaurant in a private room or in a corner somewhere away from the crowd.

 

Bring Elvis with you for entertainment but preferbably the younger Elvis. The older Elvis will need a table all for himself.

169212[/snapback]

Thanks amerchin.....

You understand can't thank you enough

And yes will talk with wife about it,just

wanted to surprise her and family thats all.

Thank you!!...Oh, didn't elvis just leave the room?

[warpedbored]

itwontme, I suggest you take a pill and lay down.

[Trigg]

Sounds like itontbe whatever has taken way too many pills already--but he is an amuzing little character!!!!

[HanLi]

Looks like some people don't like a straight answer. Oh well.

169709[/snapback]

looks like some people are total jerks and can not see past what comes out of thier mouth...have no time to think first...to many dogs out here want to bark before they bite......what answer would that be?..a samart comment?..right...Oh well....More words from fingers on a keyboard with no effort behind them....time to think about what one says before they bite...etc...etc

169721[/snapback]

had a chance to look in the mirror lately...?

 

You allude to having intelligence beyond your words, is it possible that an emotional or other affiction is affecting your ability to ingest sound advice?

 

calm down, most here are trying to help.........

169820[/snapback]

Sure have a mirror..Just how small is yours?...One smart comment after another..No dis-respect but I (allude) not one word..If you have a problem with smart comments or can't see them when given,then I would allude your intelligence is on a par with another..Again no dis-respect but it seems so many people here get caught up in a (government) game they to see them as a number also, and get bent on the game, losing in ones mind why we ask what we do, who we even bother to ask a simple or complicated question for. I cannot see myself in none of this, if I did guess I would need a very long look in that mirror..Ask you this..Just what was miss-understood about wanting to (honor) your (SO)'s parents anyway one can..(SO) in my thinking is my betterhalf, my best friend, so many things she is to me..Don't understand why something so simple many find very complicated..Who was it gave this person life?..Who was it gave birth to the one woman you have allways dreamed you (might) find..Next door ok, but I guess we didn't find them next door did we..She was 8,000 miles away..Some of us i guess it was luck you meet, others I do belive it was somehow meant..I did not pick my (SO) from a picture..So wrong would I be if I did this..My simple little question was only this..Nothing at all to do with a game it seems we all are caught up in, and you can't say that many do see it that way, no fault of thiers, don't again miss-understand, I know you can see that..Anyway my little woman, my (giant) is my life, I have none of these (me) thoughts, what or who am I if I did?..Said nothing more than if someone out here felt the same as me, only wanted to honor my wife and her parents in anyway I can..Asked no more than that and it went to honor right back to a game we all seem to be stuck in at the moment..She came here before I could go there, that in itself tells all don't it?..A chinese woman went through all that to come here to NC to be married?..My god you all know what that says, you all know how hard that was for her to do..Close with this..It was my parents a witness at our little wedding, Since I am the man why would I not want to do everything I can to honor hers in this way, why would I not?..I guess thats what sets us apart from 99.99% of most people out here..She went through hell to come to the USA and marry a little white guy..So what is it I allude to?...What mirror I have not seen I need to take a deep look in?...There isn't one

169955[/snapback]

perhaps you didn't understand my comment entirely.... I thought your attack on other member here was uncalled for, you got a reasonable response and took it out of context. Once again I reiteriate, we are here to support, encourage, and help each other.

 

Now, with that said.....

 

I agree that showing respect to the parents of your SO is admirable, and it is obvious that you have a trememdous love for your SO.

 

The question you orginally posed seemed simple enough, that you wondered if your marriage was recognized by China. I think that regardless of country of origin, bonafied marriages are recognized around the world by other countries.

 

Take Amerchin's advice... and don't critize others for their attempts to respond to your questions....

 

good luck with your and your wife's decision to celebrate your marriage in any way you wish with your in-laws........

[Guest pushbrk]

169955[/snapback]

perhaps you didn't understand my comment entirely.... I thought your attack on other member here was uncalled for, you got a reasonable response and took it out of context. Once again I reiteriate, we are here to support, encourage, and help each other.

 

Now, with that said.....

 

I agree that showing respect to the parents of your SO is admirable, and it is obvious that you have a trememdous love for your SO.

 

The question you orginally posed seemed simple enough, that you wondered if your marriage was recognized by China. I think that regardless of country of origin, bonafied marriages are recognized around the world by other countries.

 

Take Amerchin's advice... and don't critize others for their attempts to respond to your questions....

 

good luck with your and your wife's decision to celebrate your marriage in any way you wish with your in-laws........

170065[/snapback]

I appreciate hearing from cool heads. Although I'm new here and an expert on absolutely nothing to do with CFL's on-topic discussion, I'm not new to online discussion.

 

What I would like to add is that experienced posters quite often compose their posts with the general reader in mind, rather than simply replying directly like they would in a private email. When doing so it is an excellent policy use as simple and direct a manner as possible. I can't think anything more simple and direct than "Married is married". With this in mind, it is therefore ill advised to take any answer personally in a negative way.

 

Of course it is perfectly appropriate to take compliments and congratulations personally. :-)

 

Mike

[HanLi]

169955[/snapback]

perhaps you didn't understand my comment entirely.... I thought your attack on other member here was uncalled for, you got a reasonable response and took it out of context. Once again I reiteriate, we are here to support, encourage, and help each other.

 

Now, with that said.....

 

I agree that showing respect to the parents of your SO is admirable, and it is obvious that you have a trememdous love for your SO.

 

The question you orginally posed seemed simple enough, that you wondered if your marriage was recognized by China. I think that regardless of country of origin, bonafied marriages are recognized around the world by other countries.

 

Take Amerchin's advice... and don't critize others for their attempts to respond to your questions....

 

good luck with your and your wife's decision to celebrate your marriage in any way you wish with your in-laws........

170065[/snapback]

I appreciate hearing from cool heads. Although I'm new here and an expert on absolutely nothing to do with CFL's on-topic discussion, I'm not new to online discussion.

 

What I would like to add is that experienced posters quite often compose their posts with the general reader in mind, rather than simply replying directly like they would in a private email. When doing so it is an excellent policy use as simple and direct a manner as possible. I can't think anything more simple and direct than "Married is married". With this in mind, it is therefore ill advised to take any answer personally in a negative way.

 

Of course it is perfectly appropriate to take compliments and congratulations personally. :-)

 

Mike

170071[/snapback]

Mike,

accept my welcome, you will love this place.......

[amerchin]

I hope this is the last of the jabbing back and forth. We're here to try to help each other the best we can. A lot of us are still here in forums which we don't have to be. The only reason we're still here is to try and guide those who haven't been through this process. Please don't take a statement in the wrong context. Could some things be stated differently? Probably! But usually we at CFL do not mean to insult or ridicule anyone who comes to this site to ask a question. If we do it's usually in jest to the oldtimers here. If you think you have been picked on then ask that person what they actually mean by their statement. You might see it differently once you do.