Introducing Your Chinese Partner to Christianity

[jim_julian]

This topic is inspired by Ty's post on a similar matter but focussed more directly on his family.

 

I've been thinking a lot about Christianity and laopo. She tells me she believes in God. We have discussed Christianity. She knew something of Jesus. I obtained a Chinese Bible for her as well as some other literature. She knows more about Buddha but it seems to be a philosophy thing rather than a religion with her, for example she has no inclination to visit a Buddhist temple.

 

If I gave a little push I'm sure she'd attend church with me. The downside of this, in my view (maybe unwarrented) is that she may even become a Christian but I'd always wonder about her motivation. I think her motivation is likely to be that it's something she does because it would make me happy. Maybe that's not bad and maybe I should just trust in God. Actually I do trust in God but not necessarily in churches. As some may recall I was told I'm no longer welcome in the church I spent the last 15 years in ... but that's not the thrust of this post.

 

This might be a fruitful area to explore.

 

Do any of you have experience, positive or negative, in introducing your Chinese partner to Christianity?

 

What about Chinese congregations and services in Mandarin? (I think this may work against assimilation.)

 

Please share ...

[Trigg]

Don't know about introducing her to christianity but she's doin' a pretty good job of introducing me to buddhism.

[LeeFisher3]

Christianity has come up in emails and some conversation. A Chinese friend recommended a Chinese Christian church and we went last Sunday.

 

I'm not sure what happened, but after the Sunday school she wanted to leave and I tried to find out why after the fact. At this point she hasn't wanted to discuss this and I'm not going to press her on it.

 

You should be able to find a church in your area, but I would suggest you approach this in a way that it is her decision to go and not just something to please you. If she wants to leave, then make your excuses and leave.

 

I'll leave this decision up to her and possibly ask one of my friends to see if they might be able to gain some insight for me so I can understand better.

[Randy W]

This topic is inspired by Ty's post on a similar matter but focussed more directly on his family.

 

I've been thinking a lot about Christianity and laopo.  She tells me she believes in God.  We have discussed Christianity.  She knew something of Jesus.  I obtained a Chinese Bible for her as well as some other literature.  She knows more about Buddha but it seems to be a philosophy thing rather than a religion with her, for example she has no inclination to visit a Buddhist temple.

 

If I gave a little push I'm sure she'd attend church with me.  The downside of this, in my view (maybe unwarrented) is that she may even become a Christian but I'd always wonder about her motivation.  I think her motivation is likely to be that it's something she does because it would make me happy.  Maybe that's not bad and maybe I should just trust in God.  Actually I do trust in God but not necessarily in churches.  As some may recall I was told I'm no longer welcome in the church I spent the last 15 years in ... but that's not the thrust of this post.

 

This might be a fruitful area to explore.

 

Do any of you have experience, positive or negative, in introducing your Chinese partner to Christianity? 

 

What about Chinese congregations and services in Mandarin? (I think this may work against assimilation.)

 

Please share ...

162487[/snapback]

 

 

I think you said it there, Jim - the philosophy thing IS the religion.

[frank1538]

Jingwen is a moral person but not necessarily a religious person.

[skibum]

We believe in what we believe. Neither feel any need to go to church. I did put a little Budda on the front door. If I was going to get involved in a religion I would be a Buddist as I cannot think of one war that they have started. They think more about love.

Remember, religion is ok as long as you do not let it affect your life.(joke)

[jim_julian]

Hmmm ... the response is surprising in that no one so far has brought their Chinese loved one to an English speaking church in America.

 

As I mentioned in my initial post, she has stated that she believes in God. Certainly Buddhism is part of Chinese culture, she knows some of the tenets, but it doesn't seem to be a big thing in her life. What I'm considering is, after she has her feet on the ground in America, visiting an English speaking Protestant church together. Her English comprehension is excellent. I'm sure people will welcome her without putting any pressure on her, after all we're talking California here. If I sensed any hesitation on her part or if she expressed any reservations certainly I would be sensitive to them. I am a person who has gone to church all of his life. I'm not going to stop now (although currently on hiatus after being told I wasn't welcome). I want to be inclusive without pressuring her.

 

Reactions, thoughts, and comments?

Edited October 23, 2005 by jim_julian (see edit history)

[hakkamike]

Lusheng is VERY active in the Chinese Christian Church that her and the girls attend.

[david_dawei]

My SO is much as others have shared; buddhist to her core. I would agree that it is hard to categorize as only a philosophy.. more a lifestyle belief... as is it's brother Zen.

 

Myself, I was not raised in a church, but made a decision to understand christianity and spent some 15 years studying and absorbing everything I could... In the end, I can say: Too many doctrinal differences; too many different beliefs about minor issues; too much division within something that is supposed to be a common religion.

 

We have talked about this.. even queried her... it became clear that her concept of God was different then the traditional western one. It became apparent that she identified 'god' with more of a Tao sense.. an all encompassing "us" is really the one great thing.

 

In this sense, the leap to a need and dependence on a 'personal god' who is above all was the stumbling block for her... but, I would think that some chinese might find solace in the idea of reaching out to a power greater than themself, who one can depend on, when all else is lacking meaning.

 

When I see her put her hands in prayer and close her eyes, I ask her: "What are you thinking about?" And she says "nothing". And I'll ask again in case I am not clear .. but she is truly thinking nothing.. just going blank. And this is consistent with buddhist meditation.

 

So, I would talk to her and understand her current way of thinking about such issues. I think it will be easier to understand/explain any differences if she attempts to understand and embrace christianity.

 

I just don't like the way most westerns are with it.. as Don said, with feeling and need to 'convert' you. I am intrigued to see how a chinese church handles such issues.. and someone in the area just told us of one. All services in chinese...

[Dennis143]

Jim,

 

Although I no longer have a Chinese SO and, as a result, I have refrained from posting replies that request advice in matters with your SO; however, having said that, I cannot help but make the following observation and suggestion.

 

As it is the doctrine of most organized fundamental Christian churches to go out and preach the gospel to every living creature, I wonder if it would be best to not try and convert your SO. Possibly allow her to follow by your example. Find your new place to worship your faith. If she sees you waking early and attending your church, she may be more apt to want to find out for herself what it is. To ask her to change her beliefs and to assume that she needs or must be converted to Christianity runs a great risk of alienation.

[hakkamike]

Jim,

 

Although I no longer have a Chinese SO and, as a result, I have refrained from posting replies that request advice in matters with your SO; however, having said that, I cannot help but make the following observation and suggestion.

 

As it is the doctrine of most organized fundamental Christian churches to go out and preach the gospel to every living creature, I wonder if it would be best to not try and convert your SO.  Possibly allow her to follow by your example.  Find your new place to worship your faith.  If she sees you waking early and attending your church, she may be more apt to want to find out for herself what it is.  To ask her to change her beliefs and to assume that she needs or must be converted to Christianity runs a great risk of alienation.

162609[/snapback]

Well Said Dennis

[jim_julian]

David: I draw a sharp distinction between churches and my personal faith in God. I agree with you that churches have many petty differences and are often more immersed in internal politics than supporting people in their faith. That said, you make an excellent point about developing a deeper understanding of what laopo's concept of God is ... to do this I will need to keep a very open mind and be even more concious than usual of cultural filters.

 

Dennis: I'm certainly not a fan of fundementalist Christian churches with their born again theatrics. I've been a Presbyterian for many years. Generally the Presbyterian church is open to a breadth of thinking in their membership ... although in one case it doesn't seem to extend to Christians who divorce their wives and later meet and fall in love with a foreign lady. I would never try to "convert" laopo. I am considering, as I've stated in previous posts in this thread, gentle exposure to a church and development of a more thorough understanding of my faith.

[Robert S.]

I don't think my wife is actually a Buddhist. I think she just has the old Chinese ancestor worship. We have a picture of her grandmother on the wall and we "give" her fruit, and dumplings. I think there is some truth in all religions. I take Joseph Campbell as my spiritual adviser.

[Dennis143]

Dennis: I'm certainly not a fan of fundementalist Christian churches with their born again theatrics.  I've been a Presbyterian for many years.  Generally the Presbyterian church is open to a breadth of thinking in their membership ... although in one case it doesn't seem to extend to Christians who divorce their wives and later meet and fall in love with a foreign lady.  I would never try to "convert" laopo.  I am considering, as I've stated in previous posts in this thread, gentle exposure to a church and development of a more thorough understanding of my faith.

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Jim, I certainly meant no disrespect. Nor, did I mean to imply that you are a fundamentalist Christian who feels the need to convert your beautiful SO. I understand your desire to share your spiritual heart with her. I only suggest that you realize, in time, she will learn to know your heart.

[jim_julian]

Jim, I certainly meant no disrespect.  Nor, did I mean to imply that you are a fundamentalist Christian who feels the need to convert your beautiful SO.  I understand your desire to share your spiritual heart with her.  I only suggest that you realize, in time, she will learn to know your heart.

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Dennis, no offense taken, my friend ... I appreciate your sharing of thoughts and viewpoints. This is not a simple issue.