Climbing to the Top of the Mountain

[Thomas Promise]

I have been a member of CFL now for 6 weeks and I have read some very good posts that have been quite enjoyable, very informative and helpful.

Everything from the probable hoax letter from the USCONGZ, The happiness that members have found with their SOs, the Visa process, Failed Relationships, Successful Interviews and not so successful ones, Age differences etc.

Most of us have met our SOs on line and started a sort of pen pal relationship leading to a cyber net romantic love relationship before we have met each other. I personally wrote to my SO for 7 months before we met in China. I am very happy now that we have met and are planning our lives together. We still have away to go before we are together thru the Visa process. We are at the NVC stage now.

Some of the things I beleive are very important to a successful marriage are: If you Love your SO tell them you do, Listening ( God gave us two ears and only one mouth for a reason), Caring and sharing and doing for each other, Show each other that you are happy that YOU are in their lives after all they are your best friend, avoid arguments if possible, give them sincere compliments, Have laughter between you, Allow your SO to be themselves, never ever be critical of them, ( in the 7,000 years of written history there has never been a statue erected to a critic. IMHO critics obviously are not held in high regard), When your SO makes a mistake give them encouragemet for trying and ask them how you two can make it right together or try a different way, Never become stagnant always explore new as well as old things to do together, give your SO some crazy but pleasant surprises now and then like dressing up Saran Wrap only ( If She thinks you have wasted money by doing this show her your wisdom tell her you bought it on sale and had a coupon to go along with it), Learn and grow together and Always walk with your SO together through the journey of life.

This my 2 cents worth. I am sure it will pay big dividends for us in the future.

[chef4u]

Excellent advice!!!! I have been communicating with my SO for almost 8 months and we are still waiting for my divorce to become final, (Dec. 21, 2005....YEAH), before we can even file the fiancee visa app. So, like you we are in for a very long journey together. In addition to your advice, we have just started playing shared computer games on line. We have our cams on and can watch each others enjoyment while we try to win over each other. We make silly bets. For example, I now owe her almost a three hour back massage the next time I visit Nanning. Being a true American gentleman, I let her win.....haha. Anyway, your right, you do need to keep exploring new shared adventures and let her have her time to be who she is..........the beautiful SO you will cherish and love forever.

Edited October 16, 2005 by chef4u (see edit history)

[jim_julian]

Never become stagnant always explore new as well as old things to do together, give your SO some crazy but pleasant surprises now and then like dressing up Saran Wrap only ( If She thinks you have wasted money by doing this show her your wisdom tell her you bought it on sale and had a coupon to go along with it)

160603[/snapback]

Hmmmm ... Saran Wrap ... never thought of that one ... not sure that would be a "pleasant" surprise in some cases ...

[HanLi]

Nice post.... sage advice!!

 

saran wrap

[Thomas Promise]

Excellent advice!!!!  I have been communicating with my SO for almost 8 months and we are still waiting for my divorce to become final, (Dec. 21, 2005....YEAH), before we can even file the fiancee visa app.  So, like you we are in for a very long journey together.  In addition to your advice, we have just started playing shared computer games on line.  We have our cams on and can watch each others enjoyment while we try to beat each other.  We make silly bets.  For example, I now owe her almost a three hour back massage the next time I visit Nanning.  Being a true American gentleman, I let her beat me.....haha.  Anyway, your right, you do need to keep exploring new shared adventures and let her have her time to be who she is..........the beautiful SO you will cherish and love forever.

160630[/snapback]

How good is you SO at Ping Pong??? Mine is pretty good at it but she lets me win at it. I will try the massage gig soon.

[chef4u]

Excellent advice!!!!  I have been communicating with my SO for almost 8 months and we are still waiting for my divorce to become final, (Dec. 21, 2005....YEAH), before we can even file the fiancee visa app.  So, like you we are in for a very long journey together.  In addition to your advice, we have just started playing shared computer games on line.  We have our cams on and can watch each others enjoyment while we try to beat each other.  We make silly bets.  For example, I now owe her almost a three hour back massage the next time I visit Nanning.  Being a true American gentleman, I let her beat me.....haha.  Anyway, your right, you do need to keep exploring new shared adventures and let her have her time to be who she is..........the beautiful SO you will cherish and love forever.

160630[/snapback]

How good is you SO at Ping Pong??? Mine is pretty good at it but she lets me win at it. I will try the massage gig soon.

160659[/snapback]

Funny you ask about ping pong. we were discussing ping pong last night!! When I go to Nanning, we will participate in the First Annual SO Ping Pong Tournament. She says she is not very good at playing. But, maybe I am being con. Anyway, for any game we play, the loser gives a two minute back massage. So, I have never won and lost a lot. But, I have really won the most beautiful person in mind, body and spirit.....my SO.

Edited October 16, 2005 by chef4u (see edit history)

[HanLi]

Rich,

well said, this is the most important prize of all.....

[lars]

I agree completely!

 

 

 

 

 

Saran wrap? Sounds kinky.

[david_dawei]

avoid arguments if possible, give them sincere compliments, Have laughter between you, Allow your SO to be themselves, never ever be critical of them,

160603[/snapback]

wonderful post...

 

normally we say, "you found a good one", but I'll instead say, "She found a great man !"

[LeeFisher3]

Some who read this thread should replace the saran wrap with aluminum foil, just as there should be a limit to the sizes of spandex.

[bubbafred10]

I have been a member of CFL now for 6 weeks and I have read some very good posts that have been quite enjoyable, very informative and helpful.

Everything from the probable hoax letter from the USCONGZ, The happiness that members have found with their SOs, the Visa process, Failed Relationships, Successful Interviews and not so successful ones, Age differences etc.

Most of us have met our SOs on line and started a sort of pen pal relationship leading to a cyber net romantic love relationship before we have met each other. I personally wrote to my SO for 7 months before we met in China. I am very happy now that we have met and are planning our lives together. We still have away to go before we are together thru the Visa process. We are at the NVC stage now.

Some of the things I beleive are very important to a successful marriage are: If you Love your SO tell them you do, Listening ( God gave us two ears and only one mouth for a reason), Caring and sharing and doing for each other, Show each other that you are happy that YOU are in their lives after all they are your best friend, avoid arguments if possible, give them sincere compliments, Have laughter between you, Allow your SO to be themselves, never ever be critical of them, ( in the 7,000 years of written history there has never been a statue erected to a critic. IMHO critics obviously are not held in high regard), When your SO makes a mistake give them encouragemet for trying and ask them how you two can make it right together or try a different way, Never become stagnant always explore new as well as old things to do together, give your SO some crazy but pleasant surprises now and then like dressing up Saran Wrap only ( If She thinks you have wasted money by doing this show her your wisdom tell her you bought it on sale and had a coupon to go along with it), Learn and grow together and Always walk with your SO together through the journey of life.

This my 2 cents worth. I am sure it will pay big dividends for us in the future.

160603[/snapback]

Beautiful words! Thank you for the reminders.

Edited October 16, 2005 by bubbafred10 (see edit history)